The day after defeating the Destroyer was an interesting one. Kazuma had spent most of it sleeping off his hangover and cursing the name of a certain useless goddess. In the meantime, Darkness and Megumin had cashed in the lion's share from the reward money since their group had been the only one fighting against the threat.
Three hundred million Eris and the information that they wouldn't get quests anytime soon. The rest of the adventurers in Axel were fighting over the paltry amount of quests left, since Kazuma had cleared out all the profitable ones. Out of fairness, the guild had decided to bench Kazuma's party until enough new quests had popped up, which left them with time for other things.
"Why do I have suddenly so many points in useless skills? Twenty ranks in Entertainer?!"
Things like bickering at the kitchen table with your useless archpriest.
"What's the big deal? You still have tons of points left!" Aqua said with a full mouth of food and shifty eyes, confirming who's responsible for his new stat allocation and earning an early knuckle-sandwich. Contract or not, at least he could still reprimand the girl for bad behaviour.
Megumin snatched Kazuma's adventurer card from the table. "Did you learn any spells? You are aware that anyone walking the path of explosion is forbidden to lower themselves to other forms of magic?"
Kazuma let go of Aqua to turn his attention towards Megumin, leaving the goddess to nurse the two bumps on her head. "That's only you! Don't enforce your ridiculous limitations on others!"
"You can't! Please!"
It was surprisingly hard to wrestle the card away from Megumin, since the little girl had an iron grip and wouldn't budge. She was close to tears when he finally managed to get it back, looking at her plate in low spirits.
Crying females worked wonders on Kazuma when their names weren't Aqua. "I won't learn any more magic, so chill out and eat your food before it gets cold."
Megumin cheered up and dug into her food with gusto, instantly believing Kazuma's words and getting two pairs of eyes watching their exchange with interest from across the table.
"Kazuma, all those women staring at us through the windows are making me nervous…" Darkness pointed out a new development. The succubi from the shop had found out where Kazuma lived and decided to shadow his home outside their work hours, which started from early in the morning until late afternoon.
Wherever he was located in the mansion, a handful of succubi could always be found nearby watching his every move. Most of the time they were hiding, but the more daring specimens sat on the windowsills like needy cats, pressing their scantily clad bodies against the glass to entice him.
"Ignore them and pass me the salt."
"Here master!" the flat chested loli succubus appeared from behind a curtain in a maid outfit and handed Kazuma a salt shaker with a big smile.
He took it without looking up from his plate. "Thanks, now get out of my house!"
Aqua made a face as if she had bit into a lemon. "Ugh, the whole house reeks of demons. I would use a barrier to keep the stanky bitches away but somebody doesn't allow me to do that!"
Nobody was as unhappy about the succubi than the water goddess, chasing them away like raccoons from a dumpster and Kazuma wasn't happy to constantly get in the crossfire of her anti-demon operations.
"I won't let you put up a barrier, because It would lock me out from my own home! Stop trying to destroy them and ignore the harmless lust leeches."
"Your so understanding master!"
"I said get out of my house!" The salt shaker shattered against the wall behind the succubus and she fled the room with a shriek.
Aqua looked at her still unseasoned eggs with a pout. "Why are you so moody today?"
The grinding of teeth and building veins on his forehead showcased how desperately Kazuma wanted to avoid answering, but since it was Aqua who asked he had no choice.
"Because I was once again dumb enough to think a girl actually liked me, only to be tricked into joining a fanatic cult full of weirdos. More than anything, I'm disappointed in myself for getting my hopes up."
Kazuma kept shoveling omelette into his mouth with a blank stare during the following awkward silence. The innate truth enchantment from Aqua had been fun at first, until they realized how much he actually censored himself to keep the peace in the party.
"Darkness, I need your help today for a project. It's nothing weird, so please don't make it weird."
"Me…? Ok!"
She followed Kazuma out of the kitchen and the distant sound of a closing door told the remaining party members that they had left the mansion. Megumin had a spotless empty plate while Aqua still stared at her cold eggs with an unreadable expression.
A rare opportunity to talk with the archpriest alone presented itself and Megumin took it. "Aqua, why did you trick Kazuma in joining your religion?"
"It was the perfect solution for our devil problem! As goddess, it is my duty to exterminate demons and unconditionally love my followers. Getting him to join my church balances everything out!"
Aqua nodded to herself in agreement and ate from her plate with a smile.
"Is that your only motivation for doing this?" Megumin asked, not sure why she felt the need to inquire further. Maybe it was because Aqua knew Kazuma the longest and had information about his former life. Kazuma's past was a topic he avoided whenever somebody asked him about it.
Now was the chance to find out more and Megumin asked the first thing that came to her mind.
"Do you like Kazuma?"
"What kind of question is that? He's Kazuma!" Aqua said and continued eating in a more frantic manner. The fond smile on her face when the goddess said his name caused Megumin's chest to ache in a way she wasn't familiar with experiencing.
She had gotten the same feeling when Kazuma asked Darkness to accompany him.
KONOSUBA!
Darkness repeatedly glanced at their party leader since they left the mansion. He had not said a single word to her for several minutes, walking in a lazy gait without a care about the stares from all the people passing him on the street.
"Kazuma, where are we going and why did you leave the house in your sleepwear?
They came to a sudden stop when Kazuma looked down on himself to check his attire, red boxer shorts, a white t-shirt with an axis-church pin and his comfy slippers. A click of his tongue and some weird finger motions later, the young man equipped the blue Vergil clothes from his inventory.
"How did you do that?" Darkness asked, seeing him change in an instant into a complete ensemble fitting for a noble party.
"Magic," he answered offhandedly, trying to keep the specifics of his new powers vaque. "Don't tell Megumin. I think the trick is minor enough not to upset her but why take a chance?"
"You are spoiling her too much lately. A young girl needs to learn boundaries, otherwise her behaviour will get out of control."
Kazuma stopped again and looked at her with a soul piercing stare. "First of all I'm not her caretaker and secondly you have no business lecturing others about uncontrolled behaviour," he said matter-of-factly and made Darkness pout with a blush. "And to answer your first question, we are getting you a new sword. I broke your old one and the crusader in my party needs something pointy and sharp to hit stuff."
The promise of a new weapon overshadowed her indignation, turning her sheepish and giddy with excitement. "You really shouldn't have…"
"I'm not buying you anything. I crunched the numbers and making it myself is much cheaper."
"You are making my new sword?" Darkness asked with a lot less enthusiasm.
"Yep, right here!" His finger pointed at the weapon store across the street. "Oh, don't look so disappointed! If it's bad you're free to buy one with your money!"
Darkness watched Kazuma approach the shop owner and ask for permission to use his forge. While they haggled for the usage fee, the crusader browsed the assortment of weapons for possible candidates to buy at a later date. The gesture to replace her sword was appreciated but she didn't have much confidence in his ability to make a replacement.
She would thank him for his effort and wait a few days before changing. It wasn't as if she would hit something with a sword anyway.
"Giving up already?" Darkness asked him when he came back from the forge after twenty minutes.
"Oh you of little faith! For your information, I'm already done. The crafting system in this world is ridiculously convenient and exploitable!"
As a non-native to this world, Kazuma still had moments when the video game logic clashed with his real world sensitivities. Pretty up there on the list was the creation of weapons and other items. It worked just like in an rpg, taking the materials and activating your skill to magically create what you wanted, if your level was high enough to succeed.
So it happened, that he had chosen all the high-grade materials left in his inventory and clicked on the create button at the forge menu to make a weapon. It took the same time as somebody getting coffee from a vending machine.
Kazuma presented his creation to Darkness with pride.
It was a massive sword with heavy, double-edged blade, notched on both sides near the tip. The grip was plain, but the guard looked skeletal, with a skull-design on each side leading to a rib cage from which the blade emerged. On one side, the skull was human, while the other had a horned demon skull.
"It's name is Rebellion. Let's try it out in the back!"
The sword was definetly more elaborate than Darkness would have expected, but she still had her doubts about it. Rebellion didn't look very suitable for a knight with its demonic look. It was also quite a bit larger than her old one, giving it a cumbersome feel instead of the noble elegance she wanted.
Outside in the backyard, he handed it to her with a smile and she took it to humor him. The first surprise was the fact she could wield it comfortable in one hand. Despite its size, the massive sword felt incredibly light and easy to handle.
"Putting the evil look aside, the quality of your sword is amazing! How did you make this?"
"I poured a ton of points in weapon smithing and enchanting. I figured putting ranks in something useful is better than waiting for another accident to happen that wastes them all."
"Enchanting? This sword is magical?" she asked with renewed interest in the weapon and saw him unsheathe his sword in response. "Why are you drawing your weapon?"
Their party leader had become positively ecstatic. "To have a little sparring match! How else would you test a new weapon?"
Darkness replied with a smile to match his own. She always wanted to test herself against Kazuma and even more after his reincarnation.
"Oh one small thing," Kazuma made a red leather coat appear from his inventory. "Could you put this on for me?"
"What does it do?"
"It looks cool."
Darkness shrugged and put the long coat over her casual clothes. Looking at herself to make sure it fit, she glanced towards Kazuma and saw an even bigger smile on his face as he examined her new look. "You look great! Let's go!"
His enthusiasm was contagious. The two squared off in the backyard and charged at each other. The first time her hit connected with Kazuma's blade, Darkness attributed it to chance. On the second and third she thought the gods had granted her a very good day.
Then they started wailing on each other and Darkness lost count past a hundred. Sparks ignited all around them for several minutes until they flew apart with one final clash, skidding over the ground and leaving deep furrows.
"How… why…?" She panted out of breath while Kazuma still looked fresh as he approached her.
"Layers upon layers of dexterity and accuracy enchantments. With that sword you won't miss anymore. That's a Kazuma Satou money-back guarantee!"
Kazuma lost his footing from a pull of Darkness on his arm. He fell forward, landing headfirst in her soft bosom as she hugged him and rested her chin on his head.
"Thank you… thank you…"
They remained like this until her tears soaked his hair.
