The citizens of Axel were used to crazy behaviour. All kinds of questionable individuals traveled through the adventurer town and most of them didn't even get the raise of an eyebrow anymore. As such, the people crossing the path of Kazuma today simply switched to the other side of the street.
A young man walking down the market in fancy clothes and rubbing his cheek with a dumb grin barely registered on the weirdness scale. Kazuma wouldn't have cared either way, too happy about the latest event still fresh in his mind. The simple gift of having her attacks hit had overwhelmed his crusader into doing something incredible.
Darkness had kissed him goodbye on the cheek.
Pretty minor occurrence for most, but for the inexperienced teenager it might as well have been a life-changing experience. She had run off in a hurry the second her soft lips pulled away from his skin, excited to visit her family and tell them the good news. A dumbfounded Kazuma had stayed behind, unsure if the uncharacteristically gentle interaction with the raging pervert truly had happened.
Aimless wandering through town occurred and before he knew it, Kazuma stood in front of a familiar magic shop and decided to might as well pay his favorite lich a visit. "Hey Wiz, Darkness said you never cashed in your share of the reward for the Destroyer. Aren't you desperate for money to keep your destitute shop afloat?"
"It's not that bad!" Wiz protested from behind her counter. "Besides, I didn't feel like I contributed enough to warrant getting so much money."
This woman was too nice to be a lich or a shop owner. The status as undead most likely had been the only reason preventing her from starving to death from poverty.
"Don't be so modest or you will never turn a profit! You did as much as Megumin and she got the most recognition for defeating the Destroyer."
The sound of shattering glass rang across the room and a small cloud of smoke rose from behind a shelf of potions.
"Ah, sorry!"
"Dear customer, every broken item has to be bought, as I have told you every day for the last five days." Wiz reprimanded and Kazuma felt a wave of annoyance towards this new person from the otherwise always patient woman.
"Of course, I'm sorry!" The undetected customer walked to the counter in a slump and gave the opportunity to take a better look at her.
She was a beautiful young girl with crimson eyes and mid-length dark brown hair tied into two twin-tails that rested on her shoulders. Aside from being taller and more buxom, she was very similar in appearance to Megumin.
Her taste in clothes was different, wearing a low-cut blouse and ultra-short pink miniskirt which showed off a lot of skin in stark contrast to her shy behavior. She avoided eye contact as much as possible while Wiz added the cost for the broken merchandise.
"Say, you wouldn't be acquainted with Megumin by any chance?" Kazuma asked her and winced from his train of thought. The assumption that the two girls knew each other because of similar looks would be hard to explain if she asked for his reasoning.
"We are rivals from the same village," She answered in a shaky voice. "My name is Yunyun."
He offered a handshake. "Satou Kazuma, I live together with the explosive menace."
"Living together?" Yunyun stared at the outstretched hand with a deep blush. "Has she not only outmatched me as a crimson demon but as a woman too? Has that hand done things to her?"
"I don't know what you're imagining, but let me assure you there's nothing going on with me and Megumin! Come with me and ask her yourself!"
"Are you sure? I wouldn't want to be a nuisance to anybody. Should I bring something to make it worthwhile for her?"
Something about the way she said those words made his skin crawl. Humans handled loneliness differently, depending on their personality and environment. People like him fled into their virtual worlds and mindless diversions to mask their insecurities while others went to more dangerous vices like drugs and gambling.
The chances were good that the girl in front of him had chosen another dangerous way to handle loneliness. A person who was fine with going to great lengths and deprivations to have a human connection with somebody.
Such a person would only get more desperate with time.
"Take a seat, Yunyun." Kazuma ordered and she obeyed without even questioning him, which was another thing Kazuma worried about and drove his conviction to be blunt. "You have no friends. Give me all your money and I will be your friend."
Wiz came back with tea just in time to give Kazuma a disgusted look. He wasn't bothered by it and stared Yunyun down until she hesitantly reached for her bag.
"That was a test and you failed. Keep your money and listen, because I might have a solution for your friend problem."
He had her full attention in an instant.
"How to make friends isn't as cut and dry as people make you believe. You can't force it, but you can increase your odds. Think about all the people you watched from afar and choose the person who made you envious the most. What kind of person were they?"
"Cool, brave, confident with a lot of admirers…" Despair took hold of the young girl as the hopelessness of her situation was laid bare in simple terms. "I can't be like that… I'm the complete opposite!"
"I never said you have to be anything. Confidence and charisma can be faked as easily as friendliness or concern. It isn't about how Yunyun would act but rather how a person with a lot of friends would."
"Like having a role in a play?" Yunyun asked and gave a small smile when he nodded.
"The most important part is the first impression. Being popular is a battlefield where you have to land the first strike to succeed. Nothing leaves a better lasting impression than a memorable entrance."
Introductions and poses had been an actual part of the curriculum at her school. She knew the ins and outs of said topics in theory, but putting the knowledge into action was a different matter. Yunyun waited for an opportunity to comment about her shortcomings, when Kazuma already addressed the issue for her.
"When in doubt, go for broke and never break character! It often helps to avoid awkward situations by being more aggressive and boisterous than the others to mask your own insecurities."
Something inside Yunyun's mind clicked in understanding. Kazuma could see it from the glow in her eyes. "Like proclaiming yourself the greatest wizard of all time, even though you know only one hyper specific spell and refuse to learn anything else?"
Kazuma just nodded.
Several minutes of silence followed.
"So that's it? Pretending to be somebody else for the rest of my life?"
Her resistance to the idea made Kazuma sigh in relief. Many from his old world were happy with a shallow life like that, always trying to stay popular no matter the cost. Seeing the problems with that without ever having experienced popularity herself showed Yunyun had a good head on her shoulders.
"This is just the first next step is to let your real personality come through to see how people react. Get rid of anybody who doesn't accept this change and go further towards showing the real you with the leftover candidates. Lather rinse repeat, until a small group of true friends remain."
There was a certain risk attached, but Kazuma was sure she would succeed. This method of making friends hinged on the notion that you had qualities others could like in time. Not succeeding pretty much meant you had nothing of value to offer.
A true all-or-nothing move.
"Do you really think there will be a person left to be my friend at the end?"
The problem wasn't getting people to like her. Yunyun had all the qualities to maintain a real friendship, just not enough confidence to take the initiative. Sooner rather than later she wouldn't need this crutch anymore.
"You already made one friend today."
The realization of what Kazuma meant came with the brightest smile he'd ever seen and the certainty that Yunyun would be ok.
Who could say no to that face?
KONOSUBA!
Yunyun had left after some more small talk and thanking Wiz for the tea. God knows what she would come up with as a popular personality, but he had high hopes and was rooting for her success. No decent person should have to be alone when the troublemakers were drowning in company.
"Oh, it's you."
Speak of the devil and she shall appear. Two streets away from his home, he had the questionable pleasure to meet a recent troublemaker. Although he considered Chris the thief as a friend, she seemed to like getting on his nerves lately.
"Yeah, me!" the silver-haired girl said with a piercing glare. "Don't you get sassy after playing that dirty trick on us yesterday!"
Kazuma sighed deeply. Apparently she was motivated to continue where they had left off last time. "You mean the trick that kept you two from facing the consequences of second degree murder? Darkness is out of town, so whatever you want with her has to wait."
He turned to walk away through another street and found himself face to face again with the girl through her Lurk skill. "It's you I'm looking for!"
"I'm flattered but would rather not associate myself with you at the moment. As of late, you seem a bit unhinged."
Chris poked him sharply in the chest with a finger. "Only because you can't see how dangerous associating with devils can be! They trick you and take advantage of your plights to further their own agenda!"
"That sounds familiar…" Kazuma said with the image of a certain blue-haired archpriest coming to his mind. "The difference between making a contract with a devil and a goddess is minimal at best, and the former at least let me see the damn thing on paper before signing. Hell has been good to me so far and I might reconsider your proposal if that ever changes."
"Please you can't…"
Kazuma's senses went haywire in the middle of her appeal, warning him of a threat pouncing on him from above. A casual sidestep and three stabs with his sheathed sword took care of the attackers, but two dozen more had surrounded him before the first wave had hit the ground.
All the remaining hooded figures kept their distance from him, seemingly wary after the surprise attack had failed. The shocked expression of Chris was the only saving grace for his mood, indicating that she didn't have anything to do with this.
"The thorn in our goddess's side has finally been found!" proclaimed the cloaked person at the front with overblown theatrics. "Satou Kazuma, we devout followers of Eris have felt the distress of our goddess and went to great lengths to divine you as the despicable source!"
Agreeing murmurs came from the rest of the crowd.
"Chris, this is weirding me out. Did your goddess send her goons after me like a mob boss?"
"She didn't do any of what you just said, Kazuma! Sometimes the faithful can pick up on the mood of their goddess through premonitions and come to weird conclusions. Eris would never do that on purpose!"
The crowd was unperturbed by the pleas of Chris and Kazuma shrugged in the face of the rabbid zealots. If the first three were anything to go by, his opponents weren't even on the level of adventurers. Using the sword on such a large crowd increased the risk of doing lasting harm and he wasn't a big fan of getting a body count.
"Fisticuffs it is then!" Kazuma thought and unequipped the sword and his long coat, leaving the dark blue vest and dress shirt beneath. Handicapped to unarmed combat would hopefully prevent his opponents from dying.
"Look at his chest! He has the gift of a goddess!"
The pin Aqua had given him was still there for everyone to see. Through all the commotion this morning he simply had forgotten to take it off. Kazuma hadn't thought much about the little trinket, but the thing must be a pretty huge deal judging by the dumbstruck look on Chris's face and the shouts from the crowd.
"It must be a fake! A goddess hasn't chosen a personal champion in centuries!"
"Idiot, any human would feel the wrath of the gods for even attempting to make a copy! Can't you feel the divine aura from this object of power? The fine blue vestments are another proof!"
"Goddess Aqua has chosen her champion! What does that mean?"
In a strange way, Kazuma felt slightly touched by that revelation. It wasn't every day that a goddess nominated you to be her representative in the mortal realm, although he doubted that Aqua was fully aware about her actions at the time. She always does what she pleases no matter the consequences.
The ringleader of the group turned around and spoke to the crowd with raised hands. "My fellow believers, this goes deeper than the misdeeds of one man. The resentment of Eris for this individual is a sign from our goddess to combat against the malicious influence of the axis church as a whole!"
"No it's not!" Chris protested, pulled out of her shocked state just in time to see the group scatter in all directions. "Where are you going? Don't do anything rash! Eris will get mad! Kazuma… uh... We settle this later! I have something to take care of!"
And with those final words, Chris gave chase after the group of zealous Eris worshippers while Kazuma wondered why every cute girl in this world came with a mountain of baggage attached.
