The quest ban for Kazuma and his party was enforced for only three days. Some adventurers had explored a new part of a beginner dungeon and found the builder, a powerful lich named Keele with the wish for purification. His wish to leave this world peacefully made it extremely awkward for parties to engage him when he wasn't putting up a fight and regenerated afterwards.
That's where the local archpriest of Axel had entered the conversation. Aqua may be useless most of the time, but she had unrivaled skills when it came to handling undead and the confrontation with the dullahan Verdias was still fresh in everyone's memory.
So it was decided that Axel's most famous party would take over. It was their first quest since the Winter Shogun and Kazuma could already tell on the way to the dungeon how weird the mood had gotten in the last few days.
Darkness was very awkward and reserved around him since her return. The initial excitement about her new ability had worn off enough to make her realize what she had done shortly before leaving and be deeply embarrassed about it. For a girl that craved abuse in all forms, the blonde was astonishingly maidenlike in terms of showing affection.
Although it was kind of adorable that Darkness wore the red coat he gifted her at every opportunity.
Megumin acted weird since he mentioned meeting Yunyun. She kept watch like a hawk for her appearance and became more tense every day her fellow crimson demon failed to appear. Kazuma guessed this was also the reason for her clinginess on their daily explosion strolls.
Otherwise, the archwizard was dead set on teaching him the art of explosion. His explosions weren't as impressive as hers, but after every spell they casted together Megumin looked at him like a proud parent.
Aqua was weird in general, so the unusual part came with the intensity and type. For the past few days, she constantly hovered around him without ever telling the reason. The only clue was a noise he heard every time Aqua came in proximity.
*sniff sniff*
Kazuma stopped without warning and felt a hot breath on his neck. "Aqua, is there any reason why you keep sniffing me?"
Caught in the act, the goddess increased the distance between them with a backstep and avoided eye contact.
"I'm trying to solve the mystery of Kazuma's smell!" She said and stared at the confused faces of her party before stomping her feet in response. "Kazuma still smells like devil, but I don't find it repulsive anymore!"
This was something Kazuma had overlooked completely. Her constant nagging about the evil stench in their mansion had stopped at the same time when her closeness to him had started. Otherwise she acted the same as always towards him, just with the personal space reduced by half.
"In fact, I kinda like it…"
Kazuma tilted his head and rubbed his ears, unsure if he had heard Aqua right. The pale faces of Megumin and Darkness confirmed that he didn't misunderstand their archpriest.
Aqua became aware of what she just said and went to the usual response of panicked crying and clinging onto him. "What have you done to me? What kind of devilish spell have you put on a pure goddess?!"
The big difference to the norm was the position of her face, buried deep in his chest and breathing in deeply.
"Uhm, it's ok?" He patted her head and looked at his other two companions for help. "You smell pretty good yourself, so we're even?"
"Really?" She looked up at him with a pout. "What do I smell like?"
The answer had to be honest, but he never had taken the time to pin down the components of Aqua's unique fragrance. Without hesitation, Kazuma held some of her hair to his nose and inhaled. Three baffled girls with blushes on their faces watched as the only male in their group thought long and hard to pinpoint the mix of smells.
"Honey, morning dew and malt liquor?"
Aqua was taken back by his answer and gave Megumin an opportunity to jump into the conversation. "Kazuma Kazuma! What am I?"
"Cinnamon, ozone and cinder." He answered without taking a whiff. "I carried you on my back often enough to know your scent by heart."
Darkness suddenly stood very close to him and tried to look uninterested in the current topic. The tall blonde failed the task spectacularly by letting her ponytail hang in front of his face and stealing quick glances at him.
Kazuma sighed and breathed in to recite her fragrance components. "Lavender, damp earth and weapon oil."
Three girls trying to smell themselves and get confirmation of his claim without attracting attention was equally funny and annoying for the leader of this hopeless party. "Listen, you all smell very good and don't have to be anxious about comparing unfavourably in terms of body odor. Could we focus on the task at hand and get to the dungeon?"
They continued their walk in an awkward silence and the occasional sniffing sound from two more girls, which Kazuma ignored for the sake of expediting their travel. If his memory was right, the exit to the forest should come any moment and reveal the clearing surrounding the entrance to the dungeon.
Aqua was in front, stopping suddenly at the treeline and holding her nose.
"Uh it reeks!"
"Make up your mind woman!"
"Not you! That guy!" The goddess pointed towards a lone figure standing in front of the dungeon with their back towards them.
A dramatic turnaround revealed a very tall guy in a fancy black suit and short dark-blue hair. The black and white mask on his face covered only the top half, leaving the wide smile underneath for everyone to see.
"Welcome, adventurers! I am the root of all evil, and the source of your problems! A commander in the Devil King's army, and a duke of hell who leads an army of demons. The archdemon whose sight pierces all in this world. I am Vanir!"
Everything about the demeanor and mannerisms of this devil were the epitome of hamming it up for an audience. As such, the reactions to his elaborate introduction among this audience varied in intensity and mood.
Aqua ground her teeth together and growled like an animal at the devil.
Megumin was laser focused on Vanir's mask, spellbound by its cool design.
Kazuma just stared expressionless.
Darkness took action by unveiling her sword Rebellion. She had carried the massive two-hander on her back wrapped in cloth to keep it nice and clean. One could question why you would do that to a tool which is supposed to be drenched in blood and gore, but the crusader loved her new toy and nobody felt inclined to spoil her enjoyment.
"A servant of the goddess Eris cannot stay idle in the face of a demon!"
At this moment, Kazuma realized a great discrepancy in her statement. How could Darkness justify being in a party with a half-devil and simultaneously spout righteous lines like that?
Vanir raised his hands to appease the rising tension. "Well, just calm yourselves. Moi may be one of the Devil King's commanders, but all I do is maintain the barrier around his castle. A commander in name only, if you will. My ironclad rule is not to harm any humans."
"Your treacherous promises and honeyed words fall on deaf ears! As a crusader, it is my duty to banish all demons and devils from this world!"
Ok, now Kazuma felt the need to step in. "You do realize I am a devil as well, right?"
The casual question took the wind out of her sails and the heroic posture of Darkness visibly slumped as she answered with a mumble. "You're different…"
"Why?"
"You just are, okay? Stop pestering me!"
Amusement about the situation was clearly visible on the face of Vanir while the two bickered like an old married couple.
"A fellow devil, huh? Well that explains why my powers don't work on you, although the immunity of the archpriest is still puzzling." He mustered the sweating Aqua with intrigue. "I am what is commonly known as demonkin who feeds on the dark emotions of humans, so why would I destroy my only source of sustenance? Would you talk some sense into your companion?"
Being reprimanded like a child and getting brushed off, Darkness stood there with a pout and her sword gripped in both hands. Strangely enough, her growing frustration was just the thing to regain the attention of Vanir.
"Regardless of my inability to feed on one part of your group, the other half makes more than up for it. Such delicious insecurities, all concerning the only male of your party."
Megumin had shown the rare common sense to stay out of the conversation so far, but getting directly addressed made her plan to wait for the right moment to explode the opponent obsolete. Her mind was racing to figure out what the devil could be talking about.
He was kind enough to tell everybody with a smile.
"The lackluster archwizard with the explosive fetish, yearning for somebody to understand her passion. A genius only on paper that dreams secretly to share her love for explosions by doing shared poses and chants, just to get cold feet just before asking time and time again. The blossoming teenager whose favorite place in the world is on someone else's back."
With Megumin successfully flustered, his eyes turned to Darkness.
"The sheltered lady from a noble house with a thirst for adventure and a very particular taste in men. A lonely girl who prayed every night for somebody to accept her in their party and is eternally thankful to have found three. A lewd woman whose greatest shame is her dreams involving a certain party member and a very big…"
Vanir paused.
"Ok girl, that's just bizarre!"
Darkness jumped at Vanir with a frantic warcry. The surprised devil took the full brunt of her sword swing and got cut in two at the hips. The falling parts turned to ash before they hid the ground, leaving only the mask on top of the pile.
"Did you just kill a guy because he embarrassed you?"
"He was a general of the Devil King!"
"That's not the reason you attacked him and you know it!"
Darkness and Kazuma were too occupied with their squabble to notice the dangerous glint from the mask. In a split second, it shot off the ground and attached itself to Darkness's face. Screams rang through the air as she tried to resist whatever was happening to her without much success.
What it was became clear as soon as the mouth of Darkness opened to speak and a very posh male voice came out. "She actually managed to hit me! Moi made the error of equating her lack of common sense to lack of skill." The devil did a little twirl and hopping in place to test her movement. "This body combined with the sword is quite the force to be reckoned with."
"Thanks, I made it myself." Kazuma said, relieved that the devil still seemed cordial to them despite Darkness jumping the gun. "I guess you want to keep that body and won't give it up without a fight?"
"Your guess would be correct, boy."
Aqua decided now was the best time to chime in. "Kazuma, there's no need to hold back! If you accidentally kill Darkness, I can bring her back no problem. That's child's play for a goddess like myself!"
A black aura appeared around Darkness with a tense atmosphere. "Goddess you say?"
"And suddenly this whole situation became a lot more complicated. Thanks, Aqua."
The aura intensified tenfold. "Oh, and the obnoxious goddess of the axis cult to boot?"
"That one was your fault Kazuma!" Aqua cried as Darkness disappeared in a flash and reappeared right in front the archpriest with her sword raised. "Eek, Kazuma help!"
Kazuma disappeared similarly and got between the two at the last moment to stop the attack with his katana. Aqua cowered behind him and stared up at the display in awe.
He was blocking the massive sword with one arm.
"Listen, I know heaven and hell doesn't like each other very much, but I would really appreciate it if you wouldn't attack my useless goddess."
He had sounded more cocky than he was actually feeling with this match. A Darkness that used the full potential of her body was a real drastic change. Most of his opponents so far, monsters and human alike, didn't even register on above normal difficulty in game terms. As mentioned by Vanir, a competent Darkness with Rebellion turned out to be a real bossfight.
Doable, but a bossfight nonetheless with all of the hassle attached.
A quick palm strike against her stomach created some distance as the possessed Darkness was thrown backwards. Vanir put her hand on the place he had hit her and felt the obvious dent in the metal armor.
Darkness chose this moment to make her presence known. "Kazuma, I will endure any pain and abuse you dish out! As a crusader I will keep resisting the demon even if it will cause immeasurable agony!"
"I need you to shut up and do nothing. Let me handle the mess you put us in, you muscle-headed woman."
Darkness puffed up her cheeks and sulked while Vanir took her body into a battle stance. "You look bored, boy."
"You can't beat me Vanir."
"We will see…" Vanir said with a grin and charged, forcing a parry and baiting a counter.
Kazuma wasn't expecting Vanir to drop his guard completely as a reaction. With how weighty Rebellion was, he needed to put a lot of force in his hits with Chunchunmaru to not get pushed back. That force was now flying towards her neck and needed a last second course correction to avoid taking Darkness's head off.
A move that left him wide open for a Vanir's counter attack.
"Moi will say it again, this sword is really exceptional." Vanir thrusted the man-sized blade into Kazuma's stomach and pulled it out with buckets of blood splashing on the ground.
The gaping hole slowed him down enough to miss almost every parry for the following barrage of hits raining down on him. Cut up, bloodied and broken in some places, the regeneration of his body was put into overdrive as wounds opened and closed in quick succession.
Aqua stepped up to the combatants confidently with her staff brandished. Doing a twirl and pose, which was more for show than everything else, the archpriest pointed the tip at Kazuma. "Looks like the NEET needs the gracious help of his goddess after all. Sacred Great Heal!"
"No, wait!" Kazuma screamed, but it was too late to stop Aqua. The magic circle appeared under his feet and enveloped him completely to unleash its curative power. But instead of healing his wounds, they all burst into flames and set Kazuma's whole body on fire under his deafening cries of pain. The spell finished with a badly burned body, which regenerated now noticeably slower.
Megumin and Darkness called his name in fright as he dropped to one knee with Aqua frozen in her confident pose. The whole body of Darkness was shaking in a desperate attempt to regain control and Megumin threw herself in his arms after a sprint to shield him from further attacks.
The archwizard hoped desperately that Vanir's vow about not harming humans turned out to be true.
It had the desired effect of stopping the archdemon, but only long enough to gloat at Aqua. "Only the boneheaded deity of the axis church would use holy magic on a devil and expect a different outcome. Or did you maybe see a chance to rid yourself of an unwanted party member?"
"I...he…" Aqua was still too shellshocked to fire back with an insult, excuse or anything else.
"So it was an accident! How deliciously pathetic!" The sudden tears from Darkness running down from under the mask made Vanir's laughing ten times more creepy. "Why are you struggling so much muscle-headed girl? A devil to vanquish stands right in front of you! They must all be purged from this world, didn't you say so with all the self-righteousness of a holy warrior?"
Despite the dramatic scene, Kazuma wasn't all that worried about his own health. Even with his wounds, he estimated his victory over Vanir as almost certain. Beating Darkness wasn't the problem though, since this devil really fought dirty and Kazuma had no interest in fatally injuring his party member.
A pity things turned out this way, because his first impressions about devils had been much better up to this point.
"That gives me an interesting idea..." The sudden exclamation from him surprised the archdemon and his party. Megumin didn't let go of Kazuma when he tried to get up and was forced to hold her in an awkward princess carry with one arm under her thighs and both of her arms wrapped around his neck.
The other hand was tightly gripped around his sword and he gave Vanir a confident smile.
The duke of hell wasn't impressed. "Do you intend to fight moi with the little girl as your shield? Let me tell you she's not amused from the emotions I'm feeling from her."
Feeling emotions wasn't necessary to recognize that from Megumin's big frown on her face, which he neutralized by booping her on the nose and giving a reassuring smile. "In my old life, there has always been one surefire thing to get me out of trouble. I swore to never use it again, but I'm sure anybody would understand why I had to fall back on it."
The new devil took a stance against the old devil, sword raised and ready to strike. Vanir's interest was at its peak and he prepared himself for this ultimate attack. It turned out to be two slices through the air several yards to the right of Vanir, who watched the tear in reality and opening of a portal with confusion.
Today, Kazuma would show Vanir the power of snitching to your superior.
"DEVIL-CHAN!"
The portal flickered for a moment and the black abyss turned red. Irritated grumbling came from the other side before a petite little girl with red hair appeared under baffled stares. Kazuma knew the individual, but the appearance made him do a double take to be sure.
His sweet Devil-chan had ditched the expensive black dress for red bed shorts and a stained white T-shirt. She had a serious case of bed hair without her pigtails and her red mane poking out in every direction.
"Ok what's going on?" Devil-chan yawned and scratched the left ankle of her bare foot with the heel of the other. "I was enjoying one of my rare free days and suddenly a portal appeared in my living room during my movie marathon."
While the others still stared, Kazuma took a chance with the newcomer. "Devil-chan, I want to file a formal complaint against another employee!"
This behaviour wasn't badass or flashy in the slightest, but tattling on upper management sounded like a approach with the least amount of effort. With Aqua in danger of getting shanked by Darkness and him bleeding heavily on Megumin, Kazuma didn't feel like prolonging this situation for longer than necessary.
He just wanted to get home, take a bath and go to sleep.
"Who dares bully my sweet little boy?" Devil-chan rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and took a good look around. "Wait a second, did you manage to bring me into the mortal realm?"
The sky turned a darker shade of red with every second of comprehension from the little red head. She glanced in turns at Kazuma, Vanir and the shaking Aqua. A small snort came from her mouth which grew into full-blown laughter and turned completely manic at the final moments.
"You are definetly my favourite!" Black leathery wings appeared on her back with the snap of two fingers. "Behave yourself until I come back, children! Mommy has to have a serious talk with the black sheep of the family before they decide to close this loophole!"
She took to the air and blasted off towards the horizon. Seconds later they heard the sound of her reaching supersonic speed and a very loud warcry.
"DEVIL KING, MY ASS!"
Vanir detached from Darkness and reformed his body out of clay.
"Boy, what have you done? Are you insane?"
"No, I'm Kazuma."
