AN: We officially start with material past the anime and with a new M-rating.

I'm glad the response to my question was so positive.

Have fun reading!


The muffled sounds of a young girl running barefoot rang through the hall of Arcanretia's finest inn. Even this early in the morning, her step was full of vigor and anticipation of things to come. The unremarkable letter in her hand got crinkled from the excitement cursing throughout her body.

In a final burst of confidence, Yunyun ripped open the sliding door to Kazuma's room. "Good morning Kazu! I have something important to…"

Any further words got stuck in her throat. Her teacher was still sleeping, which wasn't out of the ordinary given how early in the morning she entered his room. Out of place was the person sharing the bed with him.

"How rude to intrude in someone else's room unannounced." said the small lump under the bedsheet with the voice of Megumin. Moments later her head appeared, blearily looking at Yunyun with disheveled hair.

"I don't want to hear that from you of all people. You could only stay here because Kazu passed out yesterday!"

Yunyun knew her rival didn't have the audacity to do anything without Kazuma's consent, although Megumin tried to make it look as if something had happened to infuriate her. She was successful in that regard, but the countermeasure against it was simple and effective.

The truth.

"Do you love him like I do?"

The simple question hit Megumin as hard as Yunyun predicted. "What are you talking about? You've barely known each other for a week!"

The crimson demon joined her fellow clan member in bed, pressing her body against the free left side of Kazuma. Although she addressed Megumin, Yunyun had her eyes solely on Kazuma's sleeping face. "That doesn't matter. All that matters is how he's the best thing in my life."

The added warmth stirred the young man in his sleep. One arm used as a pillow by Megumin, pulled her closer until she almost laid on top of him while his face found Yunyun's hair to nuzzle. Both girls blushed fiercely and endured the embarrassment to triumph over each other.

"See? We are already close like that." Megumin stuttered, noticing Yunyun had her attention focused on something under the bedsheets. "What's wrong?"

"Something hard is touching me."

"Horny harlot!"

"Not like that!" Yunyun removed the covers from Kazuma and pointed at his left hand. "Look!"

In his grasp was the black crystal ball.

He must have fallen asleep while watching something. It was evident by the intense stare at the magic item that Megumin was dying to know how it worked. Yunyun relished in having knowledge over her rival and channeled magic into the ball with a smug expression. Still in his hand, the smooth black surface began to swirl and lit up to show a picture which became sharper and sharper like a focusing camera. Because its holder wasn't focusing on anything, the ball drew deeper from the consciousness.

Dreams.

Any reservations about this invasion of privacy were forgotten by the two viewers as soon as the item showed the interior of a typical japanese kitchen from a modern age. They saw the world from Kazuma's eyes, identifiable through the view on green sleeves of his trademark green tracksuit. The same tracksuit Yunyun was currently wearing.

"That's his homeland!" Yunyun said excitedly, recognizing the type of house and furniture from several shows they had watched together.

The deep feeling of jealousy burned in Megumin and ate her from the inside out. Yunyun knowing more about Kazuma's past was something she couldn't stomach. Their party leader usually avoided talking about his former life with every nugget of information carefully guarded.

The man and woman sitting at the table with him shared similarities in appearance with Kazuma, making both girls wonder if they actually got their first glimpse at his parents. By the same logic, the miniature Kazuma sitting to his left could be his younger brother.

A picture-perfect scene of a family eating together.

"How is your breakfast, dear? Is it good?"

A up and down shift in perspective conveyed a nod of his head. The older woman smiled at Kazuma.

"Does it sate your hunger, you worthless piece of shit?"

Megumin and Yunyun did a double take to look at the still smiling face of Kazuma's mother. His father was equally smiling when he put down the newspaper and spoke with a saccharine tone.

"Be glad we give anything to such a failure and endless disappointment."

The dream Kazuma said nothing.

"We got it right the second time with your little brother, don't we?"

He just kept eating.

"Yeah, I won't make my parents ashamed of my existence like my embarrassment of a big brother. Just do everybody a favor and go die already."

From his perspective, Kazuma was falling backwards out of his chair, the ceiling of the kitchen changing to a blue sky. His body lay motionless on a dirt road, a girl with brown hair styled into twintails standing over him with a sneer.

"Trying to save me like a hero? You can't even die without making yourself a laughing stock."

Another change to the operation lights of a hospital with several doctors in scrubs and face masks. The beeping of a heart monitor stopped as chuckling filled the hospital room.

"Yeah, what a loser! At least he was good for a laugh while we tried to prolong his meaningless life."

The next scene was him looking up from a deep hole in the ground and vague shapes of people in black clothing staying vigil from above. At the front stood none other than Aqua, her grin manic and full of joy as she laughed to her heart's content.

"Rot away like the trash you are! My fellow mourning community, let's recite the ballad of Kazuma the HikiNEET!"

Kazuma slowly raised his arm towards the mass of people and flipped everyone the bird at the same time the singing began.

"Trashzuma, Kazutrash, waste of space! Died like a dog with shock on his face!"

"Despised by many, loved by none."

"Lived alone, died alone, forgotten soon!"

"MAKE IT STOP!"

The ear-rending scream echoing through the void didn't come from the dream. Yunyun had crumbled to the floor, holding her head in both hands in horror. Megumin kicked the crystal out of Kazuma's hand and it rolled over the ground, cutting the image of hundreds of cruelly laughing faces. She sank to her knees shakily and put both hands on the back of her trembling rival. For a girl with her amount of social anxiety, the short clip portrayed Yunyun's personal nightmare magnified by a thousand.

The girls flinched from rustling of bedsheets and a small yawn. Kazuma had woken up and stared at them with bleary eyes.

"Morning?"

"Kazu!" Yunyun cried and broke out into tears, throwing herself on top of the groggy young man and holding onto his shirt. She gripped so tight, her knuckles turned white and hands were shaking.

Every fiber of Megumin screamed at her to remove Yunyun from Kazuma with excessive force, but the distraught look on her rival's face made it felt like all of her strength had been sapped away in similar fashion to mana drain, but with a cold piece of ice in her stomach instead of a pleasant afterglow.

"How did you sleep? Dream anything weird?" she asked with forced cheeriness that didn't reach her eyes.

Yunyun flinched and looked at him teary-eyed until Kazuma shrugged. "Nothing out of the ordinary."

Megumin paled and Yunyun's crying intensified until she muffled herself by burying her face deeper in his chest.


KONOSUBA!


The breakfast buffet of their inn was on the same high caliber as their baths and bedrooms. As the highest authority of the axis church with his literal goddess in tow, Kazuma had been given the best table for him and his party. The group sat among unfamiliar luxury and comfort when being waited on by several servers nonstop.

Yunyun hadn't left his side for a second since calming down. He was used to hanging out with her from all the training sessions, but she kept so close their hips hadn't separated for almost two hours. Kazuma gave up on correcting her by the fifth time she tried to cut his food for him.

He drew the line at getting spoonfed his eggs.

"I told you I'm fine!" He took the eating utensil from her hand. "Dreams are just that, dreams, and nothing to get bent out of shape over."

Aqua came back from the buffet with another full plate, frowning at her assortment of delicacies. "They ran out of filled mushrooms again. Give me some of yours, HikiNEET!"

Megumin scene where Aqua's dream double had said those exact words was still vivid in her mind. Yunyun remembered as well, showing a more proactive reaction by lunging over the table towards the blue-haired archpriest with a butter knife. A very crude disemboweling was averted by devil reflexes and a goddess quick enough on her feet to dodge the first three stabs.

"Hey, it's alright." Kazuma pulled Yunyun in his lap around her waist while she kept swinging at Aqua with crazed eyes. "No really, It's alright. I don't mind."

"Why?" Yunyun asked meekly, calmed down enough to let Kazume take the knife from her shaking hand.

Aqua slowly approached the table like a scared animal to get back at her seat, ready to bolt by the slightest sign of aggression from the crimson demon. What she saw instead was a girl completely confused and looking at Kazuma for an explanation.

In her eyes, she had done nothing wrong.

The problem of reinventing yourself is finding the right balance between old and new. Yunyun was so hellbent to leave her old self behind, she overshoots too much in the other direction. Somebody had to keep an eye on her during the transfer period and Kazuma felt responsible to take this role as catalyst for her change.

"It's how we do things. She calls me a HikiNEET and I call her a useless debt goddess among other things. Think of it as really messed up pet names."

His words made the goddess blush and look away with a pout.

"And yes, you can have some of my mushrooms. I figured you would try to mooch off of mine."

Happy eating and smacking noises filled the room before he had completed the sentence. Kazuma rolled with his eyes at Aqua's atrocious table manners but Yunyun saw the slightest twitch of a smile on his face, which told her one simple truth. She still had a lot to learn about friends and wanted nobody else than him as teacher.

Darkness pondered in the meantime why Kazuma loaded his plate full of mushrooms in the first place. She knew he hated them with a vengeance. "You look tired, Kazuma. Everything alright?"

The following answer got the attention of the crusader and archpriest. "I feel like I barely slept last night. Why did you two come to wake me this early?"

Aqua being occupied with a full mouth of food, it fell to Darkness to speak up with a frown. "Yes Megumin, do tell why you decided to visit his room?"

"Why do you start with me? Let's hear what Yunyun wanted first!"

Yunyun took the offer without hesitation. "Kazu, I want to ask something of you."

"Well, if it's in my power…"

Her resolve steeled, Yunyun stood up from his lap, looked Kazuma deep in the eyes and took a deep breath. "Kazuma, I… I want to bear your child!"

The bold proclamation had naturally a profound effect on the table. Aqua choked on her food and almost got a broken spine from smacks on her back by Darkness. The crusader had tried to help but her shocked state messed with her fine motor skills. The cries of agony from the archpriest were left unheard by Megumin who became stiff as a board.

The only person remaining calm was Kazuma. "A few days ago I would have gladly jumped at this opportunity until my reproductive organs cease to function. Now things are different."

He put food from the fork in his mouth, chewed it deliberately and took a gulp of water to wash it down before handing the glass to Aqua.

He spoke over the loud drinking noises of his goddess. "I'm flattered beyond belief you consider me for putting a bun in your oven, but I have to decline if you can't provide further clarification. Doing the deed only for the purpose nature intended is a huge turnoff."

Yunyun swallowed and got on her hands and knees, bowing her head until it touched the floor. "The world is doomed without our child of prophecy! My father, the village chief, sent me a letter. A large army of evil marches towards our village and my people will defend it to their last breath."

"Holy shit, get up right this instant!" Kazuma quickly pulled the prostrating girl on her feet. Being begged for help made him incredibly uncomfortable."The situation sounds dire and needs attention, but how does it relate to you pumping out a baby?"

"That's the content of the second letter. A written prophecy about how our child will destroy the devil king and avenge my clan!"

"The plan is to make a baby and wait until it's old enough to fight?" Kazuma asked and raised an eyebrow when Yunyun nodded. "Maybe we should try to settle the matter ourselves first?"

"But the prophecy says…"

"Give me that!" Megumin snatched the papers from Yunyun's hand and scanned its content. "The second letter has completely different handwriting. Have you bothered reading the signature at the end?"

Legend of the Crimson Demon Hero, Chapter 1, Author: Arue

Silence reigned on the table.

"Snrk!"

Interrupted by a single snort from Aqua.

Yunyun wanted to run away and hide under a rock, the shame too much to bear as her dignity fell to pieces. Her plan failed because Kazuma's grip around her arm. No matter how hard she tried to break free, he wouldn't budge an inch and pulled her closer to him.

"Let me go! I'm so embarrassed I want to die!" she screamed, forcefully put back on her former spot on his lap.

"You're blowing this way out of proportion."

His calm assessment of the situation was something Yunyun couldn't agree with. "I was stupid enough to confuse a short story with a prophecy and asked you to make me pregnant!"

A strawberry against her lips cut the rambling short.

"Your people are faced with a real threat and you decided to do something without hesitation. Be proud of yourself. Not many are that decent of a person. I know I'm certainly not."

Yunyun was taken by surprise from the praise and opened her mouth slightly to accept the offered treat. She did it too quickly and the two fingers holding the small fruit slipped in. Instead of spitting them back out, she quickly ate and swallowed the strawberry to have enough room to suck tenderly on his fingertips.

New and improved Yunyun was back with a vengeance. His other hand on her thigh was firmly held in place by her own. He shuddered at the thought into what his apprentice could develop without proper guidance.

Or the right guidance, depending on your intentions.

Mostly sexy intentions.

"What's with all the elaborate praise?" Megumin sat down to his right, pinching Yunyun painfully into the back of her hand to get it off him. "I happen to be a crimson demon too, you know? Just because Yunyun heard it first, doesn't mean she's the only one willing to help!"

"Well said," Darkness sat down to his left and pulled Kazuma's hand from Yunyun's mouth to grasp it. "As a crusader it is my duty to protect the innocent and defeat evil no matter the horrific, excruciating, tormenting…"

"We get it, you're in,"Kazuma said deadpan, cutting the rant of Darkness off and turning to his archpriest. "What about you Aqua?"

Despite almost choking to death earlier, the goddess had gone back to stuffing her face. She had the decency to swallow her food at least before staring at him and the three girls around him. Then, in a speed where you blink and miss it, her expression morphed into an angry snarl for just long enough to put all of them on edge.

"Do you want me to come?" Aqua crawled on top of the table and got right into his face, close enough to smell the food on her breath and see some of it remaining on her face.

Kazuma pinched her cheek and wiped away a stain with his thumb. He licked the sauce off his finger, humming in satisfaction from the flavorful taste. The simple gesture had quieted the whole table and caused Aqua to stumble backwards, both hands on the spot Kazuma had touched.

"You know the answer, cheeky bitch."

They all averted their eyes when he looked at them. It was obvious to Kazuma how much had changed and he had known so for some time now. The only problem was his cluelessness about what manner to approach being suddenly popular.

But who said he had to do anything? As an advocate of true gender equality, he had no reservations about letting women do the courting.

"We could use my sword portal to get there, but I think Yunyun can get us closer with getting less attention via teleport spell."

He opted to get up, but it was hard to do so with all the girls crowding him. His heart soared from facing a problem he couldn't even fathom ever having to deal with a few days ago. People vying for his attention was a concept to him as alien as it could possibly get.

"We go to the village of crimson demons, take care of business and be back before nightfall for another soak in the hot spring."

He planned to milk his new happiness for all its worth.

Who knows how long it will last?