AN: Took me longer than usual to put out this chapter. I don't see my pace getting quicker anytime soon. Hope you don't mind!

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Teleporting into the middle of a mage village, weapons drawn and ready for a fight, brought not as much attention towards Kazuma's party as expected. The citizens of the crimson demon village barely took a glance at the adventuring group before getting back to their daily business. There was nothing out of the ordinary in the very peaceful quiet mountain town at a first glance besides a giant bonfire in the center of town, easily three stories high and eclipsing everything.

Suddenly, the horrid stench of charred flesh entered their nostrils.

"Are they burning bodies?" Darkness asked horrified.

"Charming place, girls." Kazuma said towards Megumin and Yunyun, who looked as appalled as him.

"Welcome, outsiders." greeted a nearby crimson demon in the clothes of a baker, throwing casually the remains of a goblin on top of the burning pile.

On a closer look, they noticed all of the burning bodies were monsters, most likely more goblins, and Kazuma averted his eyes from the macabre sight. "We were told that the village needed help."

"Are you exterminators? Somewhere must be a nest of these vermins. No matter how much we kill, they keep coming and inconvenience us."

"Inconvenience?" Kazuma turned in disbelief to Yunyun for an explanation. "We came all the way out here to take care of an inconvenience!?"

The girl teared up under his scrutiny. "That can't be true! My father explicitly wrote it was a matter of life and death!"

Through the crowd came a middle aged man with moustache and the way the other villagers gave way to him told Kazuma about his higher standing in the community. The village chief was a man who dressed younger and more tacky than somebody of his age should. It came off like an old person cosplaying as a parody of a biker from hell, an effort trying way too hard to be edgy.

"It is, my sweet matter of whether we destroy them all or keep a few around as a tourist attraction."

Kazuma couldn't bring himself to be angry. Diversion of expectations and following disappointment was par for the course in this world. Experience has shown the pointlessness of getting worked up about the inevitable.

That didn't mean somebody else wouldn't hold a grudge. "So you are saying there is no emergency father?"

The poor fool didn't have the common sense to do anything to avoid the explosion of this powder keg from happening.

The idiot even stoked the flames. "Well, not really honeybun. Unless you consider the problem of goblin corpses clogging up our streets. I may have overstated the direness of the situation a little bit for dramatic effect."

"I see…"

The expression of Yunyun changed and Kazuma prepared himself mentally for the incoming storm. Yunyun's father had awakened a beast from its slumber.

"Father, I want you to meet the man I dedicated myself to with body and soul."

Surprised faces all around. Nobody expected a confession of undying love from the village loner.

Most of all, her shaken parent. "And those two girls are?"

The growing smile on Yunyun's face was more evil than anything Kazuma had ever seen on a person. Part of him was proud to be responsible for it. A larger part hoped he would never be on the receiving end.

"Satisfying Kazu all alone can be quite tiring, so we decided to share him among ourselves. He has plenty of love to go around for all four of us." Yunyun grabbed Kazuma's arm and sandwiched it between her boobs with a cute moan while looking her father straight in the eyes.

"All. Day. Long."

It wasn't every day you saw a grown man break. Kazuma understood why the mind of the village chief decided to exit when confronted with the idea that his daughter had regular fivesomes with a man she just met. His own imagination ran rampant but would surely be tempered by the reaction of the other three girls involved.

Darkness already grabbed Yunyun by the collar and pulled her in for a huddle. "What do you think you're doing?"

Aqua weighed in with her own two cents. "Yeah, tell her Darkness! I don't share my pudding let alone my Kazuma! He's my champion!"

This comment irked Megumin deeply after what she had seen in Kazuma's dream. "You never showed an ounce of interest or that you even liked him. Most of the insults against him came from you!"

"I reevaluated his worth and decided he is adequate to stand by my side. As a goddess it is my right to claim what is rightfully mine. You wouldn't even know him without me!"

"Conceited bitch!"

Darkness had to step in to stop them from getting into fisticuffs. "Maybe we can get back to the fact Yunyun proclaimed us four sharing a bed with him?"

Three pairs of glaring eyes transfixed the busty crimson demon, who was completely unimpressed by the hate directed towards her. "My father made me think our people are dying for dramatic effect. Let me have this as payback and play along for now. I won't interfere the next time any of you is alone with him to compensate for your efforts."

A tempting offer had been made, testing their moral fiber and getting the expected results. Kazuma had only heard heated whispers from his party for several minutes, until they finally broke apart and started their introduction to the waiting crowd.

"Oh yes, Mistress Yunyun is correct. As a lowly slave it is my solemn duty to fulfill every depraved wish of my beastly master! I, Darkness the holy crusader, will endure anything perverted for the sake of my lustful owner!"

Unusual decision to play along with Yunyun and a predictable execution. Even a fake declaration of devotion had to be unnecessary perverted when it came from Darkness. At least it was authentic and completely in character.

"Only a charming goddess as myself can show Kazuma the surging highs of ecstasy and make him crave for my heavenly touch!"

Somehow Aqua managed to make a show of affection about how great she is. Should he be flattered to have a place in the heart of somebody as self-absorbed as his useless goddess?

All eyes turned to the only girl left to lay her claim.

"I'm Megumin. I do the sex with Kazuma very good."

Everyone, the group of crimson demons around included, started to blink and stare at the blushing explosion wizard. Megumin began to fidget under the scrutiny and hid under her hat with trembling hands around her staff.

"You are so adorable." Kazuma crouched down and looked up to peek at her red face. "Don't feel embarrassed. You satisfy a very popular fetish."

"One of yours?"

He averted his eyes and whistled. "I'm not commenting on that among witnesses."

The lookaway brought the village chief back into his field of view. The large man looked at him like he was the devil incarnate, understandable given the circumstance of their introduction. With no real threat looming over the village, Kazuma saw no reason to hang around for longer than necessary and give an enraged father time to enact revenge for defiling his daughter.

"I think we are done here. Let's teleport back to continue our vacation."

Yunyun nodded, Darkness looked disappointed and Aqua shrugged in indifference.

"Wait!" Megumin was the only one having real objections. "We only just arrived and I haven't seen my family in a long time. Could we stay a bit longer?"

Kazuma could understand her sentiment on a logical level. Not emotionally, since he wasn't that close to his family and both parties were better off with him not around.

"Where would we stay?"

"My parents' house!"

"A sleepover at a friend's house? There's a first time for everything, I guess." Kazuma mumbled and turned to address his student. "What about you Yunyun? Do you want to come with us or stay with your father for tonight?"

Yunyun replied to the hopeful gaze of her father for less than a second. A multitude of emotions washed over her face, ending in a steeled look.

"I'm not in the mood for a family reunion."

"My sweet little girl hates me…" The village chief looked like a kicked dog before he fainted from grief and had to be carried away by three of his fellow crimson demons.

"Holy shit Yunyun, have a bit of mercy with your old man!"

In her eyes the mask wavered, the chosen personality still not completely saddle fast. "Tomorrow, I will visit him and clear up everything. Today he can use his time to imagine all the various ways my stern teacher has his way with me. Maybe next time he will think twice before scaring me with his bullshit."

"There needs to be some adjustments with your curriculum. You manage to make me uncomfortable."

Yunyun put on a sickeningly sweet smile and got right into his face until their noses touched. "Uncomfortably horny?"

He grabbed her nose between his index finger and thumb, squeezing to cause slight discomfort. "Among other things. Now turn it off before you break yourself."

"Fine." A deep breath later she returned to her usual sunny and shy demeanor with a blush.

The favorable treatment caused burning jealousy to run rampant among the other girls and Kazuma welcomed it with open arms. Being fought over was addicting as hell for somebody who never experienced being wanted by anybody. Although new to all of this, Kazuma had pretty good guesses about what his three companions were thinking from their expressions and his experience with them.

In Megumin's case the internal monologue wasn't staying inside. "Before we go to my parents… could you watch me while I get one off? It's been so long..."

"See? You can be lewd if you put your mind to it, Eromin."

"EXPLOSIONS! GET ONE EXPLOSION OFF, YOU PERV!"


KONOSUBA!


"Is that your parent's stables?"

"This is our house."

The ratty shack coming up in the distance was barely an upgrade from the horse crap filled haystacks Kazuma used to sleep in, let alone the mansion at Axel.

"It's rustic." Darkness said, trying to be diplomatic.

"It's certainly rusty." Kazuma joked and flinched when Megumin tightened her grip on his back. Turning back at view distance of her family home and looking for an inn was too rude even for him, even if Megumin could have done anything against it after her daily explosion.

The door didn't look sturdy enough to survive a knock, so he spoke loudly to get attention from the residents. "Hello? Anyone home?"

Pitter-Patter of small feet behind the door rang from inside the house. The door slid open in one swoop, revealing a child who was the spitting image to Megumin besides her smaller size and her hair put into pigtails.

"Is this your little sister, Megumin? She's pretty cute!" Kazuma asked Megumin and the archwizard nodded tiredly into his neck.

Aqua crouched down in front of the little girl. "It's like having a mini Megumin! Hey, want some candy?"

The little girl named Komekko stared at the group and then at the smiling face of her sister, took a deep breath and ran back into the house screaming. "Dad! Megumin's back, and she's snared a man!"

Kazuma's enhanced reflexes kicked in quick enough to grab Komekko by the cloak and stop her. The moment she dangled from his outstretched arm, he realized how questionable this would look for somebody coming in at the wrong moment.

"Unhand our daughter you fiend!"

Somebody like Megumin's parents, who swiftly penetrated him with high caliber spells. To his great relief, the two adults had good enough aim to avoid hitting Komekko and his body functioned as a meat shield for Megumin. Didn't change the fact that most of his organs had been liquified and dripped out of a hole in his chest.

Logically, Megumin's parents had every right to strike out against him. A stranger had forced entrance to their house and a reasonable person would try to clear up the misunderstanding.

"I am Kazuma Satou, the azure demon! You foiled my plans to take the small one but the claim to your firstborn is unbreakable! Megumin is mine to do with as I please!"

Kazuma wasn't in the mood to be reasonable. Being ridiculously sturdy didn't mean he enjoyed being mutilated on a constant basis. These crimson demons all had a thing for the overdramatic and he would give them a show to talk about for years to come.

It was working so far, gauging from their enraged expression. "We won't part with our daughter without proper compensation!"

"Exactly dear, 23.621.450 Eris and not a coin less for our little girl!"

Their words registered halfway into the next part of his performance. "Don't be stubborn and accept… what?"

"And we won't agree to any handshake deals! Written contract only! Follow us!" With those words, the two adults vanished back into the living room and left the baffled devil standing in the entrance with his companions.

"Sure…" On his first step, Kazuma noticed the limpness of the body on his back. "Megumin?"

Yunyun poked her unresponsive rival in the cheek. "I think she passed out from shock."

A few minutes later he had the questionable deed all written up in ink. For the exchange of a sizable amount of eris, Kazuma received ownership of Megumin and all three of her family members couldn't wait another second to pester him for the money. It felt more like a shakedown than a transaction as he gave them their payment from his inventory and watched the parents run off with their little daughter.

"I don't know who's more despicable, her parents for selling off their daughter or the HikiNEET for accepting the deal."

"This one time, I will overlook you calling Kazu like that."

"Buy me as well! Make me your property!"

With Megumin out cold and them delegated to housesitting until the family came back from shopping in the capital, the party didn't have much choice but to make themselves comfortable. Yunyun remembered the layout and room distribution from her countless hours of stalking her rival, showing the group around and helping them to settle in. A quick meal was made from their own rations, since everyone would have felt guilty for taking the meager food supply in the house.

Soon it was time to go to sleep and something curious caught Kazuma's attention. "Why are we all sleeping in the same room?"

"It would be rude taking up more space than necessary." Darkness answered, wearing her pink nightgown and holding a pillow in her arms. Her eyes sporadically glanced to his futon on the floor. All of them, the still unconscious Megumin excluded, behaved rather nervously about the sleeping arrangements.

"Then why not settle for two rooms?" Kazuma asked, becoming disturbed by his own words.

Why was he fighting so hard to avoid this?

Aqua had already laid down and taken up her usual space to his right. "You would be so tactless and claim a whole room for yourself while four girls have to share?"

Kazuma abstained from discussing this matter any further and crawled into his sleeping bag. His party members had become simultaneously aggressively jealous for attention and too stubborn to act upon that jealousy in more than a roundabout way. Combine that with his recent lack of enthusiasm and the time for good night's rest couldn't come soon enough.

Barely an hour had passed before he was forcefully woken up by movement in the room. Somebody tried to sneak around without much success and he opened his eyes with a sigh.

Three succubi stood over him, their eyes burning with envy.

"I told you to stay away when I sleep."

Startled by his awakening, the demoness with the biggest boobs stuttered an excuse. "We are not here for you master!"

"Not for me?" he asked the fidgeting demon girls before it dawned on him. "Oh no…"

Kazuma had become the perfect center point in the room with four bodies surrounding him in an equal distance of almost nothing. Lack of personal space was usually Aqua's thing, but the goddess seemed to inspire the others with her bad example. Somehow even unconscious Megumin had found her way resting with his legs as a pillow.

"We have four orders of pleasant dreams for these young ladies. Two solo experiences and a shared dream to be exact."

Somewhere along the line, arrangements had been made for sexy dream time and that gave rise to a lot of questions. Had each of them approached a succubus separately or did they book this experience as a group effort? And why today? Did they forget in the excitement of saving the crimson demon village or was the timing on purpose?

They had already spent good money on it, most likely his money, so there was no point in letting it go to waste.

"Proceed."

The process of giving people pleasant dreams wasn't very involved. A poke against the forehead with a glowing finger, or two fingers in Yunyun and Megumin's case, and off went the horny train with no breaks.

This meant Kazuma had to endure being sandwiched between four girls having an intense wet dream. Sudden heavy musk of female arousal in the air made his neck hair stand on end. Squirming softness against his body and sweet moans from four mouths turned him red like a tomato and his virgin heart couldn't take it anymore when the same mouths started mumbling his name.

"... punish this filthy sow master… the whole candle… don't extinguish the flame…"

"... how does wine poured down my naked legs taste… worship your goddess's feet… between the toes as well servant..."

"... this time we will determine a definitive winner… the first to choke loses… don't spill a drop..."

"... It's not fair Yunyun… it's too big..."

He should feel flattered.

He should feel tempted.

He should feel happy.

"Kazuma!"

"Kazuma!"

"Kazuma!"

"Kazuma!"

All he felt was the desire to get out of this house.


KONOSUBA!


The attempt to clear his head and make sense out of recent events brought Kazuma's wandering body into town and eventually to the surrounding forest.

A few minutes in, he stumbled over something curious.

"So this is the grand camp of the enemy?"

Refugees would have been a more apt description of the ragtag group living in tents and makeshift barracks. This wasn't an army by any stretch of the imagination and barely could be considered a threat to a village full of overpowered mages. Kazuma walked among the mobs of goblins, kobolds and other entries of the low level bestiary and nobody lifted a finger to stop him from trespassing, staring at him with lifeless defeated eyes

"Hey, where's your boss? I have to talk with him about something."

"That would be me, boy."

Kazuma turned to the melodic voice and had to do a double take. The general for this army was a busty, statuesque beauty in spite of a freakishly huge frame of at least 7 feet. Creamy brown skin was barely covered up by an exposing red dress and luscious long dark hair with red extensions framed her immaculate face.

In short, a real bombshell of a woman.

"Sorry ma'am, didn't mean to assume."

The demon general mustered Kazuma with a calculating smirk and stood more wide-legged, drawing attention to her crotch under the flowing red dress. "No, him is equally apt in my circumstance."

"I see..." Kazuma blanched at the visible bulge. "My name is Kazuma Satou and you can probably guess why I am here."

The discovery of the enemy might have been a coincidence, but the intent had always been to take care of said enemy forces. With how crippled their fighting strength was, the young half devil had no doubt this whole ordeal could be resolved by defeating the leader.

Sylvia realized this at the same time as him. "Of course, but first let me give you a name to scream on your way to the afterlife. I am called Sylvia, she who has synthesized and modified herself. Yes, Sylvia, the Growth Chimera!"

"Draw your weapon, Sylvia." Kazuma replied with little enthusiasm.

The woman inhaled deeply and spit fire at him without warning. The surprise attack hit Kazuma point blank and lit his upper body ablaze in a big explosion. He stood there like a human torch, skin and flesh melting from his skull.

"Fool, my whole body is a weapon!" cackled the chimera in glee and wanted to point at him, until she noticed her arm wouldn't move for the simple reason that it wasn't attached to her body anymore.

She stared at the severed limb on the ground and began to sweat when the burning skull of her opponent managed to talk. "I want to point out how you decided to throw the first punch in this situation. Anything from me in retaliation is completely justified."

The general picked up the arm and reattached it to her body. "Do you think this will stop a chimera? Adding pieces to ourselves is what we excel at!"

Four flashes of light and Sylvia felt herself toppling to the ground, face first in the dirt and unable to move. Kazuma had robbed his opponent of her arms and legs in an instant. She didn't even feel the blade connect, as if he'd been too fast for her body to realize it had been cut.

At this moment, Silvia the chimera realized how outmatched she was by the enemy. This man could have gone as easily for her head instead, killing the general instantly without her ever knowing how she met her demise.

"I give you a second to collect yourself."

There was no way of beating this monster.

"Smug asshole..." the dismembered woman lifted her head to stare him down as a last act of defiance. "What will you do after you killed me?"

"Who knows? Maybe exterminate the rest here?" Kazuma said in a tone which sounded more confident than he felt. The thought of mowing down depressed monsters without any opposition left a sour taste in his mouth. Everything about the situation rubbed him the wrong way. This wasn't the epic confrontation with the forces of evil he sought after.

"It's not supposed to be this way… It's not fair…!" The proud general succumbed to frustration, headbutting the ground and sobbing in despair. "The devil king was supposed to change our lives for the better. Why did he leave us to die when we needed him most?"

Kazuma watched silently, letting the chimera vent.

"The coward hid in his castle while his loyal servants were slaughtered, abandoning them to their fate from within the cushy safety of his barrier!"

Uncomfortable shivers ran over his body when Sylvia began crying like a child. "Why did you fight for him in the first place?"

Sylvia rolled on her back, a difficult task for a body consisting only of a head and torso. "For many, the devil king was the only choice. What would you do if your only worth in this world was the amount of experience points people get for killing you?"

The lump in his throat was as unexpected as it was unwelcome. "Now you are making me feel like the bad guy."

Her sad eyes focused on a nearby goblin eating grey gruel from a wooden bowl. "The only proof somebody like little Gleek over there ever existed will be his entry as a slain monster on an adventurer's card. Tell me, hero, what would I see if I looked at yours? How many had to die for your latest skill? Was it worth the grind?"

Kazuma suppressed the urge to snort at being called a hero. Even he wasn't so delusional to think noble intentions fueled his actions. This Sylvia person had a pretty skewed impression of him. Nonetheless, something long forgotten twitched in Kazuma's mind, a small and underdeveloped part in the cynical machinations of his brain. Kazuma empathized with these people, who were dealt a bad hand and tried to make the best out of it. Until recently, he'd been on the same boat as an unlucky outcast in desperate hope to catch a break.

Homeless, penniless and without a perspective for his future. Dying had been the best thing that ever happened to him, even though it took the second time around. None of these monsters would get the same opportunity and Kazuma knew he had the power to change that.

The question was if he wanted to bother.

"What's that around your neck Gleek?" Kazuma asked the small goblin and Sylvia's eyes went wide from indignation. This guy had the gall to simply brush over her final moment and turn his attention elsewhere. A worthless trinket no less, a keychain of a cute cat girl with big tits in a flimsy swimsuit.

The green guy presented his possession with reverence. "It's a good luck charm. Gleek was hoping to have a mate like this someday."

The warmth and fondness in Kazuma's eyes when he stared at the figure took the general off guard. A simple piece of kitsch from a foreign land had more emotional effect on him than their whole battle

"Did you know the bra and panties can be taken off?" Kazuma said with a sigh and handed the goblin his erotic figurine back, who instantly began undressing the piece of plastic with burning fascination.

While Gleek showed his great new discovery to his fellow goblins, Kazuma sat down besides the dismembered body of his opponent. "You know, I've been called a goblin several times by women in the past."

Sylvia stared silently into the night sky.

"Yeah, and tonight I had to flee my room from the sex fumes of four beautiful girls having wet dreams about me."

The general remained silent.

"Things change, Sylvia. If it was for the better each has to decide on their own."

A feeling of hypocrisy washed over Kazuma as soon as the words had left his mouth. If he truly believed them, why was he sitting around a campfire with goblins and a mutilated patchwork general to avoid being with four girls hot and bothered for him? Where had his earlier resolve to be courted by beautiful girls gone?

Or was this just a convenient excuse to do nothing?

What was he so afraid about? Nothing in this world could harm him anymore.

He gathered up the body parts of the chimera to take his mind off these unwelcome thoughts. Sylvia stared at him warily while Kazuma put her limbs at the appropriate places to reattach with her body. Soon she was as good as new, but her will to fight had vanished. All that remained was a numb feeling in her chest.

"Your pity is as confusing as it is worthless. We need more than a few empty words of encouragement at this point. Nothing short of a miracle would be enough."

The mood turned somber at the campfires, goblins chewing wordlessly on dry rations and staring into the flames. Kazuma had the hand on his sword faster than anyone could react, drawing and sheathing his blade with two wide swipes in a blink of an eye. The camp was illuminated by the opening of his biggest portal so far.

"Pack your stuff. All of you earned a little vacation."