I changed chapter 2 in this story, cuz i decided that i want to write a chapter at the end of every episode and the other one didnt fit. Hope you like it.
Tony's visions of Kate had stopped. He didn't see her anywhere, not at work, not at crime scenes and not when he visited her grave. He still visited her grave whenever he could find time; he didn't want to loose his connection to her. He didn't want to think about the fact that she was gone. As he walked up to her grave that day, he thought about everything that had happened during their latest case.

"Hey Katie." He said, as he usually did, sitting on the ground beside the headstone. "It's been a rough couple of weeks. Everyone keeps asking me how I am, if I'm ok and all that stuff. I never know how to reply." He sighed.

"Half the time I think I'm fine until I walk past your empty desk, then I feel like crying, but I don't, cause that's not what macho guys like me do." He said, trying to laugh off his feelings. "Gibbs still won't let anyone sit at your desk, not even Cassidy. She helped us out on our latest case."

He closed his eyes at the memory of what had happened at one of the crime scenes. What he'd said had been second nature; it was going to take a while to get over that.

"The case wasn't bothering me too much, until….. until we needed to find something and I almost told McGee to go find you and ask you where it was. I'm not used to not having you here Kate, I miss you, I miss joking around with you at crime scenes, bugging you about everything." He took a deep breath to contain his emotions. He didn't want to loose it.

He smiled, knowing what to tell her next. "Yeah, so I told you that Cassidy worked with us on the case right? Man, is she hot. But ya know what Katie? She's nothing compared to you. I flirted with her all those times to get to you, to get you to have some kind of reaction." His smile faded as he thought about what had happened to Cassidy. "I was so scared though, when she got abducted by that freak we were after. It felt like I was loosing you all over again. I don't think I would have been able to handle that. But, we found her, she's ok. I wish you could have been ok, Kate, I really do."

He stopped talking and stared off into the distance for a while. He wanted to see her again, not as she was when he saw the visions of her after she died. He wanted to see her as she was when she was alive. He couldn't see her though, she wasn't there, and she never would be again.

"So, yeah, I don't know why everyone keeps asking me how I am. I think it's pretty obvious. I'm heartbroken, lonely and scared. But like I'll ever admit that to anyone else, but you." He stood up and placed a hand on her headstone. "Bye Katie."


Please r&r, i'll post a new chapter after evey NCIS ep.