Authors Note: Hey guys, thanks for the reviews to chapter 2. Look in my profile for more info on... stuff.
Chapter 3: Skittles.
He could feel the adrenalin pump throughout his body the moment the bell rang. In the small amount of time it took to exit the classroom, he had managed to stumble twice; once in the simple process of standing from his desk, and the other in the doorway, which sent him sliding across the waxed floor and straight into the wall. Stan was quick to leave today, which was the reason for his haste. He wanted to catch the living angel before he disappeared somewhere in the crowd of the cafeteria.
Now his head spun with stars as he lay where he had fallen and smacked his head on the hard, cold tile of the Sixth grade corridor. He was having a hard time deciding which was worse, the kids that laughed or the fact that Stan had witnessed everything from the slip to the smack.
"Butters?"
He opened his eyes to see Stan and Kyle leaning over him. Their concern mirrored each other, a habit of theirs he found particularly irritating. They had adopted each others facial expressions and probably never even noticed.
"Are you okay?" Kyle asked.
"Yeah, that looked like a hard spill." Stan added.
For once in his life, he wished the two of them were bigger assholes that would have kept walking right on by like everyone else had. Instead, Stan reached out his gloveless hand and helped him up. Butters accepted it, and frowned once he was standing.
"Well?" He asked.
"Well, what?" Stan questioned.
Butter's looked up, realizing he was shorter then the both of them by at least an inch. "Aren't you guys gonna laugh at me and- and call me a Melvin?"
Stan and Kyle's eyes locked with each other for a moment before focusing on him again.
"We're not assholes, Butters. You could have been seriously hurt." Stan pointed out.
Kyle nodded "We wont laugh and call you a Melvin until later, when we know you're alright."
"Yeah." Stan agreed.
Butters looked back down and rubbed the sore spot on the back of his head. "Oh, okay." Just his luck. He had wanted Stan's attention, but not by making a joke of himself. All he wanted was for them to stop looking at him now. Instead, to his further humiliation, Cartman and Kenny emerged from the classroom to join them.
"What's going on?" Kenny asked the moment he spotted Butters, as if no one would talk to him unless something happened.
"Butter's hit his head." Stan supplied.
Cartman snorted. "That was stupid. What did you do that for?"
"Not on purpose, you dumb shit!" Kyle snapped.
The offended stared him down blankly. "Sometimes I have dreams about you, Kyle. And in them, dark things happen to you. Things that make me smile."
"Okay, cut the crap. Both of you." Stan intervened. "Do you need help to the nurse, Butters?"
"Uh, no. I'm fine." He answered, apprehensively clanking his knuckles together. If it had been just Stan, he would have taken up the offer even though he really didn't need to go. The fall had looked and sounded worse than it really was. In fact, Stan looked more in need of a nurse than himself, but that was to be expected of someone who had been sick for little over two weeks.
"Good," Kyle stated. "Now lets go before fat ass gets so hungry he eats one of us."
"Ha ha ha," Cartman mocked. "I guess that holds a double-meaning coming from you, doesn't it, Kyle?"
Kenny chuckled. "Maybe he wants you to eat him." He followed Stan and Kyle as they began down the hall.
Kyle grit his teeth. "You're a fucking pervert, Kenny. Sometimes I think you get off on it."
"Sometimes I do." He agreed proudly.
Butters watched Stan walk away from him for the second time that day. He needed to find a way to get closer to him. There had to be a way. How the hell did Kyle do it?
Heedless to Butters, Cartman had stayed behind for observation. It hadn't gone unnoticed to him the way the blonde had stared longingly at Stan the entire time. If there were even the slightest chance he could screw with Kyle's head, he would do it. Even if it meant he couldn't snag two desserts today.
"Is there something you need to talk about, Butters?" He made the poor kid spin around on his heals at an extraordinary speed.
"N-no, nothing at all. What would make you think somethin' like that?"
"I'm psychic, remember?" His confidence level was evident.
Butters eyes darted nervously. "Well gee, Eric. Kyle says that's all a bunch of bull crap."
Cartmans eyebrows furrowed angrily. "I'm going to kill that Jew someday." He muttered beneath his breath before regaining his friendly mask. "Butters, I'm your friend-"
"You are?"
"Yes, Goddamnit!"
Butters jumped back fearfully at the unexpected shout. Cartman placed an exasperated hand to his forehead and closed his eyes as another string of curses whispered through his lips. Not only did this kid short his fuse even easier than Kyle did, he was also starving, which naturally pissed him off. Despite that, he had to retain some patience. The promise of Kyle's tears and frustration was worth it. Regaining his composure, he placed a hand on Butters shoulder. "I'm your friend, and I want you to know you can talk to me about anything. It's okay, I'm here for you."
Butters pursed his lips together. He should know better than to trust Eric Cartman with anything. Then again, he never was the brightest crayon in the box, and the fact that Eric was in with Stan made the offer too appealing to decline. "Well, okay then." A deep sigh filled his lungs. "I want to be cool. So Stan will hang out with me, see? But I don't know how to be."
'Oh, God this is so cool. Thank you Lord, thank you.' Cartman thought. "Butters, Butters, Butters." He faked exasperation as he made a half circle around his shorter peer. "Stan doesn't care if you're cool."
"He doesn't?"
"No." His voice was heavy with false sweetness. "Kyle's about as far from cool as they come, and Stan's practically licking his balls."
Butters scowled at the image portrayed. "What's he got that I don't?"
"Let me ask you this," Cartman started in. "Do you care about Stan?"
The question earned a frown. "Well, sure."
"You didn't hug him when you saw him today."
"No-"
"But Kyle did." Butters stared blankly, not getting the point. "That's where you went wrong. You see, he now knows that Kyle loves him. Maybe he doesn't hang out with you, because he thinks you hate him."
"Gosh, I would never do nothin' to make him think that."
"But, you've never done anything to make him think otherwise." Eric pointed out. "You see, Butters, Stan is… Lets see, how can I put this lightly," He tapped his chin thoughtfully. "He's a rainbow child."
"A hippie?"
"No, not a goddamn hippie!" Cartman cursed. "Try and stay with me on this; He's a pussy. A gay ass, fucking pussy that likes to rejoice in all that sensitivity crap. He has a boner for displays of affection. It's simple, really. All you need to do is show him how much you like him."
"How?"
"Hump his leg for all I care. Jesus Christ, Butters, you really push it, don't you?"
"Oh, but I'm not gay, Eric."
He froze, disbelief across his face. "You're not gay?" Sarcasm dripped like an overly frosted cake.
Butters missed the conviction entirely. "Well, heck no."
It was even better than he had imagined. More than he could hope for. God loved him, he was sure of that now. Now, not only could he screw with Kyle's head, but also Butters and Stan. Screwing with Stan's head only meant screwing with Kyle's head on a higher degree. It was almost impossible to keep the smile off his face, but he somehow managed. He placed an arm around Butters shoulders and sighed. "I hate to have to be the one to break this to you, but yes, you are. You are gay."
"But-"
"Butters… gay. Butter's… gay." He motioned his hands up and down as if he were a balancing weight. "Guys don't like other guys unless they're gay."
Butters scowled. "That isn't true. If it were… well, then Stan and Kyle and- and Kenny would be too, 'cause they all like each other."
Eric scoffed. "They're all fags, Butters. It's so obvious. Just look at me. I'm not and you can tell because I hate those guys and hope that one day they die from aides, especially Kyle."
Butters fiddled with the zipper of his jacket. "Wow, I never knew I was gay before." Eric pat his shoulder as he continued to mull it over. "What will Stan think?"
"He'll think; Oh, look you guys, there's that other little faggot. Let's invited him over to my house and we can have a sleep over and listen to the New Kids on the Block."
"Wow." Butters smiled.
Eric frowned at his rumbling stomach. "So, what the hell are you waiting for? Get out there and be the best damn faggot you can be before Kyle steals your guy!"
"Yes, sir!"
The idea of eating something besides soup was a lot more appealing than actually eating it. Stan decided this rather grimly as he poked at the food on his tray. At this point, the only thing he was interested in downing was a full bottle of Pepto-Bismol. Strange, considering he hadn't any trouble devouring a bowl of cereal that morning. Maybe he wasn't as over his sickness as he originally thought.
Bullshit.
It was Cartman and his earlier accusations that were really plaguing him. It was like a slap in the face. Him and Kyle joked around about being "involved" for kicks now and then, but never once had the idea of it being literal ever crossed his mind. The thing that concerned him the most was the fact that, though it wasn't appealing, the idea didn't repulse him either. He sighed and leaned his cheek against his palm as he swirled his plastic spoon.
He felt a slight nudge in his ribs. "You should eat that before it eats you."
He cracked a smile at Kyle's suggestion.
"It's not that bad." Kenny defended.
"Your opinion doesn't count. You eat anything."
Kenny's eyebrows furrowed as he flung a scoop of "green" at Kyle. The gooey glob flew smoothly and landed with a loud splat in the middle of his forehead. He gasped loudly and crossed his eyes upward to try and see it, sending his two friends into a fit of hysterical laughter. It was only moments before he himself began to giggle.
"Okay, Kenny," He said as he wiped off the mess and splat it on the floor. "Normally, I'd get back at you. But, I'll cut you a break since you got Stan to laugh."
Kenny's eyes shifted to the mentioned boy. "Yeah. You haven't even smiled since this morning, what's up?"
Stan frowned and diverted his attention back to his food. "I don't know." He lied.
"I think I do." Kyle spoke up.
Stan's head snapped upward. "You do?"
He nodded and swallowed a spoonful of orange. "You're nervous about the play."
A wave of nausea washed over him at the reminder. Kyle was right. That was bothering him, just not as much as other things.
"You have plenty to be worried about. The last rehearsal is today, and this time you have to do the kissing scene."
"Thanks for the encouraging words." Stan replied.
Kenny shrugged. "It's just Wendy. What's the big deal?"
"What's the big deal?" Stan parroted. "I don't think I've even talked to her since she broke up with me in the fourth grade. And our asshole teacher just throws us together in the most romantic love story ever written?"
"Don't take it personally. Our teacher doesn't know about your past." Kyle reasoned. "She only gave the two of you the main parts because you're both the best looking."
Stan returned his friends smile with a hint of embarrassment.
Kenny laughed. "You won't have the main part for long if you puke on her during rehearsal."
"Hey, that's right." Kyle confirmed around a laugh. "Think you've got a stronger stomach nowadays, Casanova?"
"I don't know. I don't think I've liked anyone as much as I liked Wendy. So, it's hard to say." He answered.
"Do you still like her?" Kyle asked.
"I like her." Kenny announced.
Kyle snorted. "That doesn't count either."
"I don't hate her." Stan answered the question with a touch of reluctance. "I hate what she did. But… the thought of kissing her does make me feel queasy." He smiled devilishly. "In the good way."
Kenny laughed and Kyle scooted away a bit. "You aren't gonna be sick thinking about it, are you?"
He smiled. "No. But if you sit a little closer we can find out."
Kyle laughed. "I think I'll take your word for it."
Any trace of humor was wiped away when Cartman set a tray of food on the table and took his usual seat next to Kenny. "Hey, Stan? Why do you keep skittles in your pocket?"
The look that said he was about as nutty as Chinese chicken salad hit each of his friends faces one at a time, like dominos in a row.
"What?" Stan asked.
"It's just that, I've got this strange feeling." He closed his eyes and held his hands out, as if he were feeling an invisible bubble around Stan. "Yes… yes, I can- I can feel the rainbows springing off you."
Kenny chuckled, Kyle glowered, and Stan seemed even more confused.
"What are you talking about, Cartman?" He asked.
Eric lowered his hands and opened his eyes. "You know how they have those commercials where all those gay people want to taste the rainbow? Well, Stan, you are that rainbow."
"Stop it, Cartman. Just stop it!" Kyle snapped.
"I'm seriously, you guys. Stan's a fucking gay magnet. I can sense it."
"Me too." Kenny squeaked around laughs.
"You don't know what the hell you're talking about, fat boy." Stan accused.
"Oh no?" He asked good-naturedly. "We'll just see about that."
Stan's anger now matched his best friend's. "Look, I've only been back half a day and I'm already sick of all this psychic bullshit you're trying to-" His sentence was cut off the second he felt arms encircle him from behind.
Everyone's expression now registered shock. Everyone's except for Eric, who sat calmly with a little smile.
Stan glanced upward. "Butters," He kept perfectly still as he spoke. "Why- why are you hugging me?"
He squeezed a little tighter. "Because I like you."
Stan abruptly stood, spilling his carton of milk and knocking Butters to the floor in the process. "That's it, I'm outta here!" He sprinted out the cafeteria as Kenny and Cartman burst into laughter.
"Butters!" Kyle hissed at the frowning boy. "How could you stoop this low!"
Butter's glanced from Kyle to the exit and back. "Wu-what did I do?"
"You know damn well what you did!" He spat. "Teaming up with Cartman to trick Stan!"
"What!" Butter's exclaimed. "I wasn't tryin' to trick him, Kyle. I really like him."
Kyle's expression turned passive. "What?"
"Well," Butter's spread his arms wide. "I'm gay."
Kenny pounded his fists on the table as another wave of hysteria coursed him. Kyle turned wide eyes toward Eric.
"Don't be jealous, Kyle." He soothed with a wicked smile. "I have a feeling you and Stan will kiss before he totally ditches you."
"Cartman, when are you going to die!" He shrieked, and angrily swung his legs over the bench to leave. He stopped short when his shoe crunched something that had fallen out of Stan's pocket. Kyle reached down and picked up the palm-sized package.
Skittles.
-BratChild3 (Lisha)
