PLEASE READ: I know, it's been forever and I feel bad about that, but I'm updating now :) But anyway, I just created an account on blogspot and if you go there you can see when I'll update, previews of new chapters, and funny weird things that I post. I don't want to feel like a loser, so it would make me very happy if you'd look at it, it's iheartlukecastellan(.)blogspot(.)com
"Are you sure we should do this?" Poseidon asked Athena as he walked in circles around her living room dreading what they were going to do.
"Yes, it is our job as parents to tell them these things."
"I'm sure their human parents have already told talked to them about this, so there's really no need to do this."
"Yes there is, so don't be immature about it."
Right after Athena said that there was a knock on the door. Poseidon answered it and Percy and Annabeth were standing there smiling.
"When do we get pie? Percy asked enthusiastically.
"Pie?"
"Yeah," Annabeth said, "Mom told us to come here because she made a pie for us."
"No, you came here to get a really awkward sex talk that will forever haunt your minds."
O.O
Percy and Annabeth exchanged a scared glance at each other and Percy said, "Well if there's no pie involved, we'll just be going now." Then they turned back around, but Athena stopped them.
"No, you're going to come in here."
When they sat down Percy was looking at the floor and Annabeth was looking at her fingers, neither of them wanted to look at their parents.
Since Poseidon would probably just make them feel awkward, Athena started.
"Well, before we start, I want you to know that this is just as awkward for me as it is for you. But, I feel it's time to talk to you about this." She looked at Poseidon for help and he said, "We know how people your age are and that you have urges to 'enjoy each other's bodies."
"Please stop," Percy begged.
"No, I have to do this, but we have a few a few extra people to help us talk to you."
"Come out Apollo," Athena yelled, and then Percy and Annabeth's eyes widened in horror.
"Hey! Let's talk about sex!" His smiling at them and his bright attitude made it worse.
Unfortunately he had a few Haiku's he planned to say.
"I call this one, Socks," he announced, and everyone in the room groaned.
"You wanna have sex.
Because you're really horny.
I'll knock your socks off!"
Poseidon, Percy, and Annabeth sat there with their mouths hanging open wondering how anyone could come up with such a horrible Haiku, and Athena gasped.
"You're supposed to be scaring them away from sex! Not telling them it'll knock their socks off!"
"Oh, my bad," Apollo apologized, "How about this new one, it's called, never have sex."
He started. "Keep it in your pants.
Cause no one wants to see it.
Young virgins for life."
"Just go."
"Bye everyone, I hope you enjoyed my awesome haiku's."
They all sighed in relief once he was gone.
"I'm so glad that's over," Annabeth said.
"Agreed."
"Not just yet," Poseidon told them, "We had a feeling something like that would happen, so we got Hermes as a backup."
Just then Hermes appeared. "I know it's hard at your age because your hormones are crazy and you just want to...experiment with your private areas. But you don't have to let your hormones control you, unless you want to be sixteen and pregnant, and if that's the case, go ahead and get it on."
Help Me! Annabeth was thinking, meanwhile Percy was thinking, I want my mommy!
"Oh, and something else," Athena said, and she looked directly at Percy, "If you have sex with my daughter there will be consequences, very bad consequences." she cracked her knuckles for extra effect.
Then Percy came up with a plan. If he pretended to be disgusted, then they would leave them alone.
"What? Us, do that! No, never, it's so gross."
Annabeth quickly caught on.
"Yeah, Ew! Only weird people do that."
Athena smiled, "I'm glad we understand each other. I guess there's really no need for this talk then."
"Yeah," Poseidon agreed, "That saves us a whole lot of trouble."
"Well if you don't mind, we'll be going now." They got up from the couch and walked towards the door.
"Bye!" Poseidon, Athena, and Hermes called out. They didn't even realize that Percy and Annabeth were running as fast as they could to get away from them.
"That was interesting," Poseidon said.
"At least it didn't last that long, and we got it over with."
"I'm surprised you were embarrassed," he told Athena, "Considering you're always watching Anal Planet."
Then He and Hermes laughed and pointed at her.
"She really does?" Hermes asked.
"Yeah, she told me."
"No I don't! That was my phone being stupid."
"Our phones have been acting weird lately, Apollo texted me and said he likes buttsex."
"That probably wasn't autocorrect," Poseidon said laughing.
"Yeah, he is a little weird."
"Oh my gosh! I just had the best idea!" Poseidon exclaimed.
"What?" Both Athena and Hermes asked.
"We should get all of the gods together and all go to camp, and give everyone a lesson on safe sex!"
"Oh gods," Athena sighed, she could already see where this was going.
"Come on let's go!"
Yes, that was short, but it was the best I could come up with for right now.
