Sometimes…
Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Red Eye!
Chapter Six
She had feelings for him but why couldn't he begin to see it? She knew in her heart that she loved him and memories or not, they belonged together. Amy felt like an idiot for throwing herself at him, even if it had only been to shut him up. Self-pity did not suit him. She had a nagging feeling that it was only for her benefit. But why would Jackson lie to her, even if it was to supposedly make her feel better about what she had done and what might have happened?
She sensed that something was brewing beneath the surface and she craved information. She wanted to get inside his head and find out what he was thinking. He did not appear to be like other men, who always seemed to think with a certain part of their brain far from their brain.
Jackson was being utterly logical despite the strange situation. She admired his ability to remain cool and collected under the circumstances. Amy was having a hard time not getting over-emotional herself. It was nerve-wracking, not knowing who you are and what you have been doing. Luckily Jackson was there to help fill in some bits and pieces.
A knock sounded on the open door, causing both of them to jump. It was Shirley, the nurse that had befriended her earlier. She was carrying something in her hands.
"I hope I'm not interrupting anything," she said with a wide smile. Amy could not help but noticing Jackson rolling his eyes.
"No, don't be silly," Amy smiled warmly. "We were just talking and we made a breakthrough."
"You did?" Shirley did not seem surprised.
"Yeah, it turns out that we knew each other. We were engaged," Jackson offered, plastering a happy look upon his face. It looked utterly false to Amy. "Five years ago."
"Really? I'm glad you found each other. So what happened between you two?"
"Amy," Jackson indicated her and Shirley nodded, mentally acknowledging the name to place on her chart. "Disappeared and I haven't heard from or seen her until now. Not in those five long years." He sighed sadly, almost as if he deeply regretted not chasing her.
He obviously cared for her. That was as plain as day. So why was he so worried about upsetting her and telling her all about them? He was avoiding their relationship. He had been so shocked by the kiss and then his logical replies made her believe that he was avoiding her. Had he gotten over her and moved on? Why had she left him all those years back?
"Aw, that's a real shame. At least you've found each other again. Now you've got a second chance," Shirley said cheerfully. "Miss… uh…"
"Adams... Amy Alison Adams," supplied Jackson, taking control as her thoughts wandered.
"Okay. Miss Adams, I've got some scrubs for you. They're much more comfortable than those hospitals gowns and I'm sure you want out of those dirty clothes," Shirley held out the plastic-wrapped bundle of clothes out to her.
"Oh, thank you so much," Amy replied, smiling widely. In the excitement of finding Jackson, she had almost forgotten about why she was there in the first place as well as her current state.
"Before I forget—Mr. Rippner, someone wants to see you. I'm told it was urgent."
"Where?" sighed Jackson, sounding annoyed. Amy could barely suppress a giggle. He was so childish at times.
"Employee lounge. I'll be back to check on you later, Amy," Shirley said and then she was gone, pulling the door closed behind her.
"I guess I'd better go then."
"I'll see you in a bit, I guess," Amy said sadly. She really wanted to continue talking with Jackson. She had so many questions.
"We'll finish talking when I get back."
Amy whispered, "Okay," and trudged off towards the bathroom as Jackson limped out of the room.
She locked the bathroom door behind her and flicked on the lights. She eyed herself in the mirror and headed straight to the shower. She turned the hot water on and then quickly shrugged her ruined clothes off and stepped into the steamy shower.
The hot water felt heavenly on her sore muscles and it was refreshing to wash the grime and dirt off her skin. It helped her sore head as well, even though it soaked through the bandage that she had forgotten to remove. She unwrapped her head and winced as the water fell upon the tender bump and cuts. She stood there for a few moments, enjoying the heat and relaxing before she started washing her cuts and minor burns.
Twenty some odd minutes later, she emerged from the shower and wrapped a towel around herself before walking over to wipe the steam from the mirror. Amy gasped and backed up quickly, crashing into the wall as she noticed the red scar above her breast. She had not noticed it during her shower, being so preoccupied with cleaning her cuts and whatnot.
What had happened to her? Suddenly, suddenly she remembered.
She had been in a parking lot, yes a parking lot. In broad daylight… She was walking along and then suddenly, she was attacked. She could smell his rotten breath and the sweat clinging to him as he forced her to the ground and placed the knife blade at her throat. She could hear herself pleading and his gruff voice telling her to shut up and then…and then… The cut and the rape… the pain melded together.
Amy broke down in tears as she relived the memory—her first memory. She could not bring herself to look at that terrible scar and quickly slipped the green scrubs, which were identical to Jackson's, on. The v-neck of the scrubs barely covered her scar.
Sobbing, she stumbled out of the bathroom, leaving her old clothes scattered on the floor with the towel. She collapsed on her bed and curled up into a ball and rocked back and forth, trying to calm herself. When she could not stop the tears and pain, she pressed the nurse call button.
A harried looking nurse, not Shirley, came racing into the room, and she seemed shocked at Amy's state. "Ma'am, you need something?"
"Yes…Jackson…find Jackson…please," Amy begged, not looking up as she still attempted to soothe herself.
"Jackson who?"
"Rippner. Just find him!"
The nurse scurried away, leaving her alone. Amy needed Jackson, she needed to tell him about the scar and the memory and she needed him to hold her and comfort her. He did not know about it, she knew he had not a clue. He would blame himself.
She hated feeling this way…so weak, used, and defenseless. Completely defeated was the best way to describe it. And she needed Jackson to make the pain go away…
Author's Notes:
It figures that her first memory would be a painful one. Hopefully she's not too OOC but I'm thinking that remembering the rape is going to be a shock and cause her to become more dependant on Jackson, which is just what he wants. Thanks for the reviews! Enjoy!
