I was seriously debating deleting this story because it's so cringe and my old authors notes make me want to die of embarrassment, but after rereading it, I want to keep it up. Most of the gods are wildly out of character and this 'story' is pure chaotic energy, but that's what gives it character I guess. Anyway, this chapter was inspired by r/oldpeoplefacebook. The gods are technically old people, so it seems fitting.
Poseidon: This is my son (insert picture of Percy here)
-Hermes: We know...
-Poseidon: His name is Percy Jackson
-Demeter: He's grown up to be so handsome
-Percy: Dad, please stop! You're embarrassing me!
-Poseidon: He's in college now
Hades: I really wish people would stop dying so much. The Underworld is really crowded
-Hermes: Who died? Usually I'm the first to know these things
-Zeus: I don't live in the Underworld
-Demeter: Well what do you expect me to do about it?
-Hera: I've been in Olympus all week, what happened?
Hera: Who is Spam Risk and why do they keep calling me on my cellular device?
-Artemis: I don't have a cellular device
-Apollo: I have a cell phone, but I don't know who Spam is
-Dionysus: Probably one of those demi-brats that you all don't take care of
-Poseidon: My son isn't a brat!
-Dionysus: No one mentioned Peter Johnson
-Poseidon: This is my son Percy Jackson and he's in college (insert picture of Percy here)
-Zeus: Percy Jackson isn't my son
-Hera: WHO IS SPAM RISK!
Rhea: THESE ARE MY SONS AND I'M SO PROUD OF THEM (insert picture of Big Three here)
-Athena: Why are you yelling?
-Rhea: I CAN'T SEE THE SMALL LETTERS ON THE SCREEN SO I TURNED ON THE LOCK CAPS
-Demeter: MY VISION IS BAD TOO, THANKS FOR THE IDEA MOM!
-Rhea: MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER YOU'RE WELCOME. YOUR FATHER IS A DEADBEAT
-Athena: isn't Kronos dead?
-Rhea: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MY WISE GRANDDAUGHTER. HOW'S YOUR MOTHER DOING?
-Athena: Your son ate her...
-Hermes: Athena You know Gods and Titans can't technically be killed, but Kronos is definitely in Facebook jail.
-Hestia: Amen
-Hera: Amen
-Demeter: AMEN
-Hephaestus: Amen
-Aphrodite: RIP
-Zeus: F*ck father
-Poseidon: Amen
-Hades: Amen
-Persephone: Amen
Aphrodite: Call Ares
-Hephaestus: Seriously?
-Aphrodite: I wasn't talking to you I was talking to Siri
-Ares: I'll DM you ;)
-Percy: Lmao
-Poseidon: That's my son
-Percy: Could you not?
-Annabeth: Lighten up seaweed brain, he's just proud of you and wants to tell Facebook xD
-Aphrodite: Where do you want to meetup today?
-Apollo: You do realize this is your status right?
-Aphrodite: Hey siri call Ares
-Zeus: My name is not Siri and I'm not calling Ares for you
Hera: Where to buy organic ambrosia
-Demeter: I think they sell it at Food Mart in Olympus
-Hera: What is the best brand of Nectar
-Apollo: Please tell me you're not using your status as a search bar
-Hera: Why do I keep getting pregnan
-Hermes: If a women has starch masks does that mean she has been pargant before xD
-Percy: Can u get pregante xD
-Annabeth: Can my be pregnan!
-Will: Jhaven't taken my birth control in 12 days!
-Nico: My circle is nomal but I still not get peegnant, halp
-Leo: Dangerops prangent sex! Will it hurt baby top of his head?!
-Travis: 38+2 weeks pragananant!
-Piper: Did any of you feeeeel pgrenant or am I normal
-Demeter: What in the world is going on?
-Zeus: I don't know, why would I? Get off my back!
-Athena: It appears that the young people have some kind of inside joke
-Poseidon: Can I be pargant?
-Athena: You're old like us, how are you in on the joke?!
-Poseidon: My son Percy
Zeus: I just cleaned out my chariot
-Hestia: It's good to know you're doing okay :)
-Zeus: I went to the grocery store and then I made a doctors appointment
-Persephone: Father how's your hip doing?
-Zeus: It's still hurting, but I'm having it looked at by a doctor soon. I'll update Facebook.
-Rhea: AMEN
Helios: Some people are hoping for your downfall and they try to take your blessings, but karma will catch up with them.
-Selene: Don't let it get to you brother, just take the high road
-Apollo: Why do I feel like this is about me
-Artemis: When did they get a Facebook.
-Hestia: Let's all try to get along. I'm spreading love and light to everyone! :)
-Helios: The sun has light
-Apollo: It sure does and I love being the god of the sun.
-Hermes: Did I miss something?
-Helios: PM me.
Chiron: It's a lovely day at Camp Half-Blood
-Zeus: I don't live at Camp Half-Blood
Ares: I heard someone wants to fight me!
-Percy: Get over yourself!
-Hermes: Yeah, no one cares about fighting you
-Apollo: This status is very attention seeking
-Ares: That's funny coming from you of all people Apollo.
-Helios: Apollo loves taking people's shine and stealing attention
-Apollo: Dude, the sun is mine, get over it!
-Hestia: We must pray about this
-Hera: Amen
-Demeter: AMEN
-Rhea: AMEN
-Persephone: Amen
Hades: I love my wife
-Persephone: He who finds a good wife finds a great thing. It says that in the Bible
-Hades: Husbands must love their wives as Christ loves the church.
-Artemis: I think I'm gonna be sick.
-Zeus: I have a wife
-Poseidon: I also have a wife. And a son Percy Jackson
-Ares: No one cares about your stupid son!
-Poseidon: He's going to college soon
Hades: I went to the Wall-Mart and they had nothing but walls. The Underworld needs souls with work ethic and the common sense to stock stores with items
-Zeus: I don't live in the Underworld and I've never been
-Hades You're insufferable
-Zeus: I need penicillin
-Hades: I just said that they have nothing but walls
-Zeus: I don't know that
