I'm just shitposting at this point, also, check out the new cover! I hate that it cropped the sides of the picture so you can't fully see the box of Booty Pops cereal, or the Wall Mart Sign. Anyway, onto Facebook

Poseidon: Seaweed6969

-Athena: Did you seriously just post your password as a status?

-Poseidon: I'm trying to login but it won't let me

-Hera: Ooh that makes sense! I can't login eiher! Family12

-Hades: PersephonePomegranate

-Demeter: CEREAL

-Artemis: MenSuck

-Zeus: SendMeWAP69

-Apollo: You barely know how to operate Facebook, how do you know what WAP means?

-Hermes: You guys are all idiots for sharing your passwords publicly lol

-Zeus: Get off my back!

-Annabeth: Percy come look at your dad's password lol

-Percy: Someone please take away his phone

-Poseidon: That's my son!


Zeus: The Food Mart

-Artemis: What about it?

-Zeus: I went there this morning to go get some milk.

-Rhea: AMEN

-Hermes: Why are you using Facebook as a journal?

-Zeus: I need to pick up one of those today while I'm out. I need a screwdriver too

-Hera: Pick up some nectar while you're there!


Hephaestus: If you get a DM from me don't open it!

-Hephaestus: I was hacked

-Demeter: IS THAT WHY I JUST GOT A MESSAGE WITH A LINK TO THE PORNOGRAPHY?

-Hestia: What is the pornography? I don't think I've ever heard of that.

-Athena: Something that disgusting degenerates watch

-Hermes: Nothing you should worry about. You're too pure

-Hera: Was it Spam Risk who hacked you? They still won't stop calling me.


Hades: Someone just called the Underworld saying that I owe Iris thousands of dollars and if I don't pay then she's going to be after me. What is the meaning of this?

-Iris: I would never threaten you and ask for money

-Hera: Maybe it was Spam Risk

-Hades: It wasn't this Spam person, the caller ID said Scam Likely. Who are they and why are they telling lies about Iris?

-Nico: I'm pretty sure they meant the IRS

-Hades: That's not how you spell Iris

-Nico: Forget it


Hypnos: I love going to sleep

-Poseidon: I like sleeping with people

-Aphrodite: I also enjoy sleeping with people

-Ares: Sleeping with people is the best

-Zeus: Agreed. I get around

-Hera: Tell me you're a bad husband without telling me you're a bad husband

-Hypnos: I think you all may have misinterpreted what I said...


Hera: Who is the manager?

-Athena: Manager of what?

-Hera: The Facebook. I'd like to speak to the manager right now

-Athena: I don't think the Facebook has a manager

-Hera: I got a recommendation from the Facebook to buy a mattress, and when I did get it it was terrible!

-Athena: It isn't wise to buy a mattress on the world wide web. If you don't feel it in person how will you know if you will sleep well on it?

-Hera: When I find the manager I'm going to chew him out! I think I'm gonna go get a haircut now.

-Apollo: Wow Karen

-Hera: Who is this Karen? Does she know Spam Risk?


Hermes: I found some good things on Facebook Marketplace this morning

-Zeus: I didn't. I don't even know what that is

-Demeter: WHAT ARE THEY SELLING?

-Rhea: CHOCOLATE

-Hermes: Chocolate

-Apollo: Chocolate!

-Athena: What is going on?


Zeus: Hey Hades I heard your chariot got stolen. I'll say a prayer for you

-Athena: You could've sent him a PM instead of making a whole status.

-Zeus: Thanks for reminding me to get some Tylenol PM later.

-Ares: You're the king of the gods, who are you praying to?

-Zeus: Hermes is the god of thieves so I guess I'll talk to him about it.

-Ares: He's probably the one who stole it lol

-Hermes: I definitely did not! I have no idea what would make you think that I, the god of thieves, would steal from my uncle!

-Hades: Don't let me find out!


Percy: Happy birthday to me! (insert picture of blue birthday cake here)


Poseidon: Today is my son's birthday. This is Percy Jackson

-Rhea: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DARLING GRANDSON!

-Aphrodite: Happy birthday to you! What a handsome young man you've become!

-Athena: Happy birthday I guess

-Zeus: My birthday isn't today

-Zeus: Does anyone know where I can get a cast iron skillet?

-Demeter: Happy birthday Percy! I'm sending cereal to you!

-Persephone: Happy birthday!

-Hades: Have an okay birthday Jackson

-Chiron: Happy birthday Percy!

-Hestia: I hope your birthday is wonderful!

-Dionysus: Who cares


Hades: I miss my wife

-Rhea: RIP

-Hades: She's not dead, she's with her overbearing mother...

-Rhea: YOU'RE ALWAYS IN MY THOUGHTS. I LOVE YOU SON

-Hades: At least someone does

-Zeus: I dislocated my hip last night

-Artemis: Why am I getting this email?

-Zeus: I dislocated my hip last night

-Hermes: This isn't an email

-Hades: You're the one who stole my chariot! You have a lot of nerve commenting on my email!

Hermes: I have no idea what chariot you're referring to

-Zeus: I dislocated my hip last night.


Hermes: I really miss my son :(

-Ares: That motherfucker who almost let the Titans take over?

-Hermes: Don't speak of my son that way!

-Hestia: Let's not fight about this

-Aphrodite: Luke died a hero! And he's really handsome

-Poseidon: My son is also a handsome hero. His name is Percy Jackson

-Poseidon: My son didn't betray Olympus though

-Zeus: How is he a hero when he started the mess to begin with?

-Rhea: YOUR FATHER IS A DEADBEAT AMEN

-Athena: Luke screwed up, but we must keep in mind that he was being manipulated by Kronos

-Poseidon: My son would never. I am proud of him

-Hermes: Keep my sons' name out of your mouth!


Asclepius: Hey Hera give me a call Zeus has crabs again

-Hera: I hate him, I hope they eat his ass

-Apollo: I'm so glad I have my entire family added on here, you guys are a gold mine of comedy lmao

-Hera: What does lmao mean?

-Hermes: Laughing my ass off

-Asclepius: You should get that checked out. Laughing should not make your buttocks fall off

-Poseidon: My son doesn't have crabs

-Poseidon: Back in my day crabs didn't eat ass.

-Hera: That's not what I meant.

-Athena: This conversation is so vulgar

-Ares: Stop bringing up your son! No one cares about Percy's crabs

-Poseidon: I would know if my son had crabs. I'm a sea god and crabs are sea creatures.

-Annabeth: Percy look xD

-Percy: I'm reporting this