I'm just shitposting at this point, also, check out the new cover! I hate that it cropped the sides of the picture so you can't fully see the box of Booty Pops cereal, or the Wall Mart Sign. Anyway, onto Facebook
Poseidon: Seaweed6969
-Athena: Did you seriously just post your password as a status?
-Poseidon: I'm trying to login but it won't let me
-Hera: Ooh that makes sense! I can't login eiher! Family12
-Hades: PersephonePomegranate
-Demeter: CEREAL
-Artemis: MenSuck
-Zeus: SendMeWAP69
-Apollo: You barely know how to operate Facebook, how do you know what WAP means?
-Hermes: You guys are all idiots for sharing your passwords publicly lol
-Zeus: Get off my back!
-Annabeth: Percy come look at your dad's password lol
-Percy: Someone please take away his phone
-Poseidon: That's my son!
Zeus: The Food Mart
-Artemis: What about it?
-Zeus: I went there this morning to go get some milk.
-Rhea: AMEN
-Hermes: Why are you using Facebook as a journal?
-Zeus: I need to pick up one of those today while I'm out. I need a screwdriver too
-Hera: Pick up some nectar while you're there!
Hephaestus: If you get a DM from me don't open it!
-Hephaestus: I was hacked
-Demeter: IS THAT WHY I JUST GOT A MESSAGE WITH A LINK TO THE PORNOGRAPHY?
-Hestia: What is the pornography? I don't think I've ever heard of that.
-Athena: Something that disgusting degenerates watch
-Hermes: Nothing you should worry about. You're too pure
-Hera: Was it Spam Risk who hacked you? They still won't stop calling me.
Hades: Someone just called the Underworld saying that I owe Iris thousands of dollars and if I don't pay then she's going to be after me. What is the meaning of this?
-Iris: I would never threaten you and ask for money
-Hera: Maybe it was Spam Risk
-Hades: It wasn't this Spam person, the caller ID said Scam Likely. Who are they and why are they telling lies about Iris?
-Nico: I'm pretty sure they meant the IRS
-Hades: That's not how you spell Iris
-Nico: Forget it
Hypnos: I love going to sleep
-Poseidon: I like sleeping with people
-Aphrodite: I also enjoy sleeping with people
-Ares: Sleeping with people is the best
-Zeus: Agreed. I get around
-Hera: Tell me you're a bad husband without telling me you're a bad husband
-Hypnos: I think you all may have misinterpreted what I said...
Hera: Who is the manager?
-Athena: Manager of what?
-Hera: The Facebook. I'd like to speak to the manager right now
-Athena: I don't think the Facebook has a manager
-Hera: I got a recommendation from the Facebook to buy a mattress, and when I did get it it was terrible!
-Athena: It isn't wise to buy a mattress on the world wide web. If you don't feel it in person how will you know if you will sleep well on it?
-Hera: When I find the manager I'm going to chew him out! I think I'm gonna go get a haircut now.
-Apollo: Wow Karen
-Hera: Who is this Karen? Does she know Spam Risk?
Hermes: I found some good things on Facebook Marketplace this morning
-Zeus: I didn't. I don't even know what that is
-Demeter: WHAT ARE THEY SELLING?
-Rhea: CHOCOLATE
-Hermes: Chocolate
-Apollo: Chocolate!
-Athena: What is going on?
Zeus: Hey Hades I heard your chariot got stolen. I'll say a prayer for you
-Athena: You could've sent him a PM instead of making a whole status.
-Zeus: Thanks for reminding me to get some Tylenol PM later.
-Ares: You're the king of the gods, who are you praying to?
-Zeus: Hermes is the god of thieves so I guess I'll talk to him about it.
-Ares: He's probably the one who stole it lol
-Hermes: I definitely did not! I have no idea what would make you think that I, the god of thieves, would steal from my uncle!
-Hades: Don't let me find out!
Percy: Happy birthday to me! (insert picture of blue birthday cake here)
…
Poseidon: Today is my son's birthday. This is Percy Jackson
-Rhea: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DARLING GRANDSON!
-Aphrodite: Happy birthday to you! What a handsome young man you've become!
-Athena: Happy birthday I guess
-Zeus: My birthday isn't today
-Zeus: Does anyone know where I can get a cast iron skillet?
-Demeter: Happy birthday Percy! I'm sending cereal to you!
-Persephone: Happy birthday!
-Hades: Have an okay birthday Jackson
-Chiron: Happy birthday Percy!
-Hestia: I hope your birthday is wonderful!
-Dionysus: Who cares
Hades: I miss my wife
-Rhea: RIP
-Hades: She's not dead, she's with her overbearing mother...
-Rhea: YOU'RE ALWAYS IN MY THOUGHTS. I LOVE YOU SON
-Hades: At least someone does
-Zeus: I dislocated my hip last night
-Artemis: Why am I getting this email?
-Zeus: I dislocated my hip last night
-Hermes: This isn't an email
-Hades: You're the one who stole my chariot! You have a lot of nerve commenting on my email!
–Hermes: I have no idea what chariot you're referring to
-Zeus: I dislocated my hip last night.
Hermes: I really miss my son :(
-Ares: That motherfucker who almost let the Titans take over?
-Hermes: Don't speak of my son that way!
-Hestia: Let's not fight about this
-Aphrodite: Luke died a hero! And he's really handsome
-Poseidon: My son is also a handsome hero. His name is Percy Jackson
-Poseidon: My son didn't betray Olympus though
-Zeus: How is he a hero when he started the mess to begin with?
-Rhea: YOUR FATHER IS A DEADBEAT AMEN
-Athena: Luke screwed up, but we must keep in mind that he was being manipulated by Kronos
-Poseidon: My son would never. I am proud of him
-Hermes: Keep my sons' name out of your mouth!
Asclepius: Hey Hera give me a call Zeus has crabs again
-Hera: I hate him, I hope they eat his ass
-Apollo: I'm so glad I have my entire family added on here, you guys are a gold mine of comedy lmao
-Hera: What does lmao mean?
-Hermes: Laughing my ass off
-Asclepius: You should get that checked out. Laughing should not make your buttocks fall off
-Poseidon: My son doesn't have crabs
-Poseidon: Back in my day crabs didn't eat ass.
-Hera: That's not what I meant.
-Athena: This conversation is so vulgar
-Ares: Stop bringing up your son! No one cares about Percy's crabs
-Poseidon: I would know if my son had crabs. I'm a sea god and crabs are sea creatures.
-Annabeth: Percy look xD
-Percy: I'm reporting this
