Disclaimer: I'm making no money from this. Neither do I own Sirius Black, Remus Lupin (no matter how much I'd like to) nor any of the other characters in this fic. I'm just borrowing them, messing with them, then returning them in perfect, working order.

Dear Diary.

Dear Diary, I'm starting this diary, because it's the best way I have of getting through the ramblings in my head. I may make sense of them. May.

Anyway...see, this is the reason I've never done this before, I never know what to write, I mean, I'm talking to a book, for God's sake! The idea of starting this diary cane from Sirius of all people. He said, that it might help me collect and sort my scattered thoughts during the turbulent time before my transformation. He also said it makes life in general a lot easier. That it helps to put things in perspective. All this has led me to believe that Sirius keeps a diary. Shocking how easy it is to forget that underneath that carefree, macho exterior lies a deep, thoughtful, sensitive soul. His soulful side materialises without any forewarning, but always when it is needed most, and it often hits me like a punch to the gut, completely taking my breath away.

Like the night he found out about my condition. He and James sat me down; told me what they knew, and then explained that it was okay, that it was all right, they accepted it, accepted me. While I was reeling from that revelation, Sirius had pulled me into a hug, told me that I could always go to him and talk to him about anything, anything at all. He would never judge me, no matter what I said or did. By the time he was finished, I was crying. Sirius had held me then too, rocking me gently and telling me to let go that it was all right. And, for the first time in my life, it was.

That night was the best night of my life. I still relive it.

Sirius' speech really affected me. I had a warm, fuzzy feeling in my chest for days afterwards. I've just noticed that the feeling is stronger around Sirius than anyone else. That doesn't make sense, let me explain.

When James, or Lily, or Peter, even, when one of them are sweet, and, well nice to me, I feel warm and loved and it's lovely and great. When Sirius is nice to me, it's different. I feel loved, and warm and fuzzy, and it's more than great, it's brilliant. That sounds really bad! Like I don't appreciate the others, but I do. It's just...different, because they're not Sirius.

Okay, now I 'm really confused...I think I'll just give in for the night and go to bed.

Remus