This is the final chapter!I apologise for any OOCness, I did write this like, a year and a half ago.
Kai opened his eyes. His head was throbbing violently, sending waves of pain through him, distorting his sight. He groaned and brought up a hand to clutch at it, shutting his eyes hurriedly.

"Well, Kai, if you will drink so much…" a teasing voice told him. He relaxed as someone leaned in and kissed him affectionately on the forehead. He moved until he was pressing up against them, their warmth easing his painful head. I wonder who that is… he thought dazedly. Slowly, the wheels started turning again. Ray…it could only be Ray… Momentarily, he relaxed again, before the truth hit him with the force of a sledgehammer. He pushed himself upright, looking wildly around the room. "Kai? What's wrong?" He hit Ray's hand away.

"I don't deserve you," he muttered, standing up unsteadily. "You're too good for what I am…" He overbalanced and fell, lying slumped on the floor. He didn't care anymore, he just wanted out of this circle of feelings: want Ray, can't have Ray, want Ray, can't have Ray… It just wouldn't stop… Moaning, he curled himself into a ball.

"Kai, what's wrong? Tell me!"

"I can't have you…I'm no good…"

"What? Where'd you get that idea from?" Kai moaned again, curling up tighter. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the creased, crumpled notes. "What're these?"

"Filthy money…whoring money…throw it away…that's all it's good for…all I'll ever be good for…"

"Whoring…wait, Kai, you don't mean that you-"

"Yes! I do!" Kai pulled himself upright and stared defiantly into Ray's shocked face. "I do whatever people want me to. Whatever they want me to. Now, do you see why I'm no good?"

"I still don't get it…why?" Kai blinked. Why?

"Because…I just do." he said heatedly. "Because that's all I can do." He pushed himself away as Ray reached out to him. "Stay away! I don't deserve you…you're pure…untainted…not like me…" He started sobbing, huge, wet gasps that shook his body. Ray nearly joined him, upset and frustrated. He still didn't get it, was he missing something? Where was Ebony when you needed her?

A sudden thought struck him.

"Kai…were you…raped?" he asked slowly. Kai nodded. "Was it…your grandfather?" Another helpless nod. "Tell me about it." Kai shivered and screwed his eyes up. "Come on, Kai. You can do this."

"He did it…all the time…whenever I disobeyed him or Boris…"

"How old were you?"

"I don't know!" Kai said agitatedly. "I can't remember a time when he wasn't doing it to me! When I got to about eight, he started giving me to other people, Boris, some of the guards… All the time, he was telling me…this is all you'll ever be any good for…over and over…and I did what he said…because I was too scared to do anything else…too bloody scared!" He let out an angry snarl. "He even made me…do it…to someone once. Another misbehaver…and I did it…but, Ray, he was just this little, frightened boy, like I'd been, just lying there, staring up at me, begging me to stop it…and I - didn't…" Ray reached out for him again.

"Kai…I'm so sorry…" Kai moved away, a wild look in his eyes.

"Don't be! It's all my fault, if I'd been braver, then-"

"Then it would have taken Voltaire a bit longer to break you down, that's all." Kai opened his mouth to reply, looked oddly at Ray, and shut it again.

"I'm tired…" he whispered suddenly, all the fight and defiance gone. Ray went to him and hauled him upright with some difficulty. "What are you doing?"

"Taking you to bed." Ray said gently. "You don't want to fall asleep on this hard floor, do you?" Kai shook his head slowly and began to walk.

Watch him like a hawk.

Ebony, where the heck were you?

Never mind that. When he wakes up, I'll bet you two cans of tuna that he'll try and kill himself. You've got to watch him. Ray looked in shock at Ebony, who was pacing across the room.

You mean this has happened before?

Oh yes, more times than I can count.

How do you stop it?

I can't. I just wait until he tries to kill himself, then yowl until someone comes in and calls an ambulance. He's got himself sectioned twice.

Why don't you try to talk to him, try to-

I've been with him since his ---- grandfather started doing this to him at the age of two. Don't you think if there was anything I could say, I'd have said it by now, you stupid half-caste?

I'm sorry, Ebony.

Never mind that. Just watch him. Don't let him out of your sight. Ray nodded, looking at Kai's still figure in the bed.

Ebony…that nightmare he had last night…was it…you know…

Yes. A replay, if you like.


Ray jerked awake as Ebony dug her claws into his arm.

You stupid, stupid little boy! I thought I told you to- Ray tuned her out and looked towards the bed. Kai was lying on his side, mumbling agitatedly, blood pouring from a slashed wrist. Dranzer was beside him, the attack ring covered in blood. Ray flew to him, reaching into his bag and pulling out a handful of bandages. He took a deep breath, calming himself down enough to make a tourniquet around Kai's arm and pull it as tight as he possibly could, then start wrapping the rest of the bandages around the wound. He cast a quick eye over it. The bleeding seemed to have slowed, if not stopped altogether. It clearly looked worse than it was.

"I'm useless…filthy…" Ray lay down next to him and hugged him from behind.

"No, Kai, you're not!" he said earnestly. Kai ignored him, and started trying to tear the bandages off. Ray pulled his arms back, pinning them his sides.

"Leave me alone! I want to die, do you fucking hear me? Let me DIE!" Kai howled, writhing in Ray's grasp. Ray leaned forwards and whispered in Kai's ear.

"No, Kai. I'm not going to let you die, because, despite what you might think, you're not useless. You're the bravest person I know, and I'm not just letting you die!"

"I'm nothing! A nobody! I don't deserve you!"

"You're not a nobody." Ray said quietly. That phrase…where did he know it from? Oh, of course! Wondering if he'd gone completely insane, he began to sing softly.

"People say that you're useless,

They say you're a nobody,

But you're not a nobody,

To this somebody.

You don't care what people think of you,

You just do it anyway.

And if I'm ever scared,

I know where to come.

And if you're ever scared,

You fight it off,

Because that's who you are,

And I love you for it,

More than words can say.

You're hard, you're cold,

You're selfish and recklessly bold.

But there's something inside of you,

That helps me carry on….

Maybe you're not the person I think you are.

Maybe everyone else is right.

But I don't care, I don't give a damn.

You're everything to me.

You're the one I want to wake up next to,

The one I love more than anyone else,

You're the reason I'm still here,

You're not a nobody…

You're a somebody…

To me."

Ray let the final note drift away, leaving the room silent. Eventually, he felt Kai stir.

"I'm not…a nobody?" Ray shook his head, pulling Kai round to face him. "Y-You…love me?" He nodded furiously and took one of Kai's hands in his. "But…don't you care…about-"

"No," Ray whispered. "I don't care. All I want…" He leaned forwards and touched Kai's lips with his own. "…is you. I love you, Kai." Kai kissed him back, a fleeting touch on the lips.

"I-I love you too, Ray." Ray watched as Kai fought to keep his eyes open.

"Rest, Kai. You've been through a lot." He felt Kai's hand squeeze his.

"Don't leave me…" His plea was no more than a whisper, a breath of air. Ray kissed him again, cuddling up next to him.

"I'll never leave you, Kai. Not now, not ever."


Well, there we have it, people! I'm thinking about a sequel (why am I adding more work to my overloaded schedule?) Please, please review!