Authors Note: Heh- this chapter is always fun. Enjoy. :)


Chapter 13- Twinkies.

"How could he be such an asshole? Basketball was our game. We always played it together, and he was doing it behind my back with Butters?" Kyle's voice was saturated in disbelief. "Dude, that sounded so gay." He insulted himself.

He was perched at the edge of his bed, Kenny sprawled upon the mattress. The blondes hood had fallen down, and for once he didn't even notice. Clear blue eyes focused heavenward, blinking back the stinging sensation of forming tears every few seconds. It was an entirely new sensation for him. He wasn't quite sure what it was, but it made his stomach ache horribly. And it sucked ass. Seeing two incredibly orgasmic friends kiss should have gotten him sprung. Instead, this is what he got.

Kyle blinked away his own tears before continuing. "Why does it hurt so much?"

I don't know, Kenny thought, but offered no response. He clutched his stomach, squeezing his eyes closed against the pain. It was only Butters, for Christ's sake. But, maybe that wasn't it. Why automatically assume it was because of Butters? After all, it had been Stan that first fired-up his sexual interest in the same gender. The more he thought on it, the more that theory seemed like crap. The dull ache in his heart had nothing to do with Stan. It was all Butters. He felt violated , somehow, that the innocent blonde he had been flirting with -and thought had been flirting back- was hot for someone else.

"This is such bullshit!" He exploded suddenly, making Kyle jump. He sat up, flipped his hood back on and pulled the drawstrings tight. "We're not a couple of teenage girls, Kyle, and we can't let them make us act like we are. Who fucking cares if they're pink wearing, lisp speaking, flower skipping rainbow lovers?"

"Oh, look who's talking, Kenny! You're the one who's always trying to screw dudes!"

"I'm not gay, I'm just genderly tolerant." He retorted.

"There's a nice excuse." Kyle rolled his eyes.

Kenny shot him a look. "There's just something I don't understand," he continued. "What is Stan doing sucking Butters lips off when he obviously wants to bone you."

"He does not!"

Kenny glared. "Maybe we should test him."

"What for?"

"To find out if it's true. I actually believe Cartman on this one."

"You're just saying that because you want Butters all to yourself. What happened, did the player accidentally fall in love with one of his toys?"

"Fuck you!" He hollered in his muffled voice.

"You wish!"

"Yes, I do! But that isn't the point!" He sighed and buried his face in his hands, trying to calm his nerves before removing them again. "We'll go to Stan's house tonight. That way, we can figure out what's really going on with him."

"What are we going to do, hold him down and interrogate him?" Sarcasm dripped poisonously.

"Nuh uh." Kenny denied, eyeing a blue shirt lain across Kyle's pillow. "Holding him down would make me pop a tent, though." He removed the sweater from its comfy spot to inspect it closer. "You still have his shirt?"

Kyle snatched it away and threw it to the ground, completing his behavior by crossing his arms.

Kenny blinked at the sudden and violent act. "Damn, Kyle. You're really pissed off, aren't you?"

"I hate him." He insisted.

Kenny snickered at the childishness. "No you don't."

"Yes, I do. I do hate him!"

"Keep telling yourself that." Kenny slid off the bed and made his way to Kyle's door. "We'll meet outside his bedroom window at ten 'o clock tonight."

"Kenny,"

He paused half way out the door. "Yeah?"

"We're in my room." He stated simply, to which Kenny stared blankly. "With the door closed." More staring evolved. "And you didn't make a pass at me."

Kenny looked up in consideration. "Oh, yeah."

"I think that's the first time in a whole year." Kyle observed. "You really do like Butters, don't you?"

Kenny's eyes squinted with a smile. "Jealous?"

"No." Kyle answered sincerely.

The blonde nodded. "Keep telling yourself that, too." He clicked the door closed before Kyle could retort.

The Jew sighed, letting his eyes fall victim to the abandon piece of clothing on the floor. His hand rubbed the top of his opposite arm in vague attempt to keep from picking it up, but it didn't work. His fingers tingled with the urge to feel it's softness until he obliged. The fabric was smooth and cool against his nose as he closed his eyes and breathed in deep. His eyes opened reluctantly with a soft frown. It didn't even smell like Stan anymore.

With the new pain in his heart ever present, he sunk onto his side on his bed and clutched the baby blue shirt to his chest, slipping slowly into sleep, just as he had every night since the day he wore it home.

----------------------------

"Hello?"

"Wendy,"

"Stop calling me, Cartman." She clicked the phone off without another word, hoping he would get the hint this time. It rang again, which she promptly ignored. As she sailed passed the front door and up the stairs, she paused at the sound of the doorbell.

"Damnit!" She cursed, stopping to open it regardless.

Stan stood at the other end, eyes cast downward as he blinked back tears.

"I- didn't know where else to go." He apologized.

Her heart broke at the sight, making her instinctively pull him into a cuddle. "It's okay," She assured, allowing him a moment to mewl before pulling back. Her hands ran the length of his arms and locked with his. "What happened?"

"Your phones ringing." He sniffled.

"Ignore it."

"But-"

"It deserves to be ignored." She cut-in, her voice staying soft. "I'm worried about you. Are you okay?"

"Me and Kyle aren't friends anymore." He blurted.

She nodded and brushed a strand of inky hair away from his eyes. "It was kind of hard to miss that scene in the cafeteria." She teased lightly, gaining a small, sorrowful laugh between his slow tears. "Is it because of what Cartman's been saying?"

His eyelids crushed closed painfully.

"You can tell me." She consoled.

The tears were streaming down his face, though he didn't seem to be crying. "It's because… what he's been saying…is… it's true." He ripped his hands out of hers and began bawling into his palms. "I'm in love with Kyle!"

At first she was alarmed at the sudden confession, but soon placed an arm around his waist and led him up the stairs to her room. Confidentiality was obviously important for this particular conversation, and she couldn't have her parents bursting in on them, or worse, that annoying ringing telephone in the background.

"You're just confused because Cartman's been filing your head with crap." She assured after the door was closed and she had sunk beside him on her bed. His sobs had quieted, and was now back to tears steaming out with every blink. "You love Kyle, but you're not in love with him."

He shook his head vigorously, even as she went on.

"It's just a trick of the mind, Stan. Of course you're going to think about all those things when you see Kyle, because Cartman keeps saying it."

"No," He answered calmly, using the wrist of his sleeve to swipe away tears, although more quickly took their place. "Butters kissed me today."

She couldn't hide her bewilderment that time, and her expression was almost enough to make him smile. Almost.

"I didn't want him to or anything, he just did it. But when he did, all I could think was 'He isn't Kyle'. I felt like I was cheating on him or something."

Her mouth had been open to protest, but now closed, speechless.

Stan smiled at her, sad and lost through the liquid pain spilling over his cheeks. "You don't think about a "friend" when someone kisses you. You think about… the person you want to be kissing."

"Do you want to kiss him?"

He scratched his head thoughtfully, eyes focused on his knees. "I want to do a lot more than that." He smiled weakly, and suddenly dissolved into another round of tears.

---------------------

Cartman slammed his phone down after the eleventh ring. Obviously, the ho wasn't about to answer any time soon.

"What a bitch!" He thundered, pausing to scratch his chin as he pondered. "Her nerve is unsettling, yet strangely arousing."

He slid off the couch and waddled into the kitchen, scanning the cupboards for something suitable to the liking of one gullible child. Once satisfied with the selection, and tucking it carefully away in his coat pocket, he set out to find what he seeked. As luck would have it, or maybe he just wasn't a complete dumb shit like every other asshole in South Park, he found Butters exactly where he figured he would be; Stan's house.

He didn't seem to be going inside, but rather conversing with someone at the door, which Cartman found a little odd. He waited at the end of the sidewalk for the blonde as he turned from the door and walked solemnly down the walk way.

"Butters," He pounced, gaining the said boys attention.

"Oh… you scared me." He stated simply.

"Where's Stan?"

"He's not home right now. I-I can't find him anywhere."

"He's hiding from you because you kissed him, you stupid fuck."

Butters looked down, rubbing his knuckles shamefully. "How the heck do ya know about that?"

"I'm psychic, Butters, I just- Jesus Christ." He pinched the bridge of his nose, completely exasperated. "He's going to forgive you."

Butters blinked. "Huh?"

"He's going to fucking forgive you, you fucking asshole!" Cartman barked. "God damnit, you're all a bunch of ass ramming pussies!"

The more innocent of the two stared back with wide-eyes. "Gee, Eric, I-I don't even know what the heck I did."

"You were born," He supplied before recomposing himself and grabbing the object his hate was directed at by the shoulder. "Come on. You're going to break up with Stan."

Butters allowed himself to be dragged down the sidewalk a few steps before the meaning of his words sunk in. His eyebrows furrowed as he yanked himself out of the fierce grasp. Cartman turned back to command him. "Come on, Butters!"

He crossed his arms, pouting openly. "I don't wanna."

"Butters, come on, God damnit!" He sighed angrily, gaining control over his screaming voice before going on. "You've got to do this, or else him and Kyle will never ram each other."

"I don't want 'em to." Butters insisted. "I love Stan. Now that Kyle's outta the way, I've got a real chance with him. I-I won't let you ruin it for me."

"He's… in… love... with... Kyle." Cartman explained, slow and evenly.

"No he aint." Butters shook his head in denial. "Why are you doin' this ta me? Huh, Eric? You're the one who showed me I was gay in the first place."

"You're not gay anymore, Butters, now stop being a whinny little cock sucker, and lets go!"

"Yeah I am." He attested, his shoes practically glued to the cement as Cartman tried to pull him away and finally stopped.

"Maybe I could interest you in," He slowly pulled his recently stored insurance from his pocket. "A Twinkie?"

"Oh boy!" Butters cheered, reaching out to yank the dessert away.

Cartman pulled it back, shaking a disciplining finger at the boy. "You have to break up with Stan first."

"I don't wanna!"

"Fine, Butters! That's just fine!" Cartman promised. "I can get him and that fucking Jew tonguing each other before you can snap your god damn fingers and I can do it without your pussy help!" With this new threat, he stormed away.

Butters stared after him with a frown, then glanced down at his hand. He rubbed his thumb and middle finger together in an awkward snapping motion, accomplishing nothing but a dull flicking sound.

"Oh, hamburgers." He cursed.

--------------------------------

The moon hung bright and clear above the surrounding trees, creating a decent amount of silvery light to cascade upon the boy waiting beneath the window of his best friend. He yawned deeply and rubbed at his eyes, all the while cursing Kenny in his mind. He had slept away the afternoon, waking short of ten minutes before the time given to meet outside Stan's window. Without a second to spare, the shirt he had been snuggling was pulled over his head on his way out the door. He didn't even get the chance to grab something to eat, though his stomach protested loudly at not being fed dinner. And now here he was, twelve minutes after ten and Kenny hadn't even gotten there yet, or so he thought. There was a ladder propped against the side of the house, something Kyle noted wasn't normally there.

What was their mission, anyway? How exactly was this going to help anything? Kenny must have a plan in mind, but whether or not that plan was crap or gold was yet to be unveiled. Hopefully it wasn't as stupid as Cartman's suggestions.

"Hold him down and moan in his ear." Kyle mimicked with a scoff. "He'd probably just think I'm a sick, twisted fuck." He kicked at the ground, tightening his grip on the wrists of Stan's sweater. The thought of Stan kissing Butters but freaking out if his best friend touched him pissed Kyle off royally, and he didn't know why.

The thought that plagued him even more than that was, what if Stan did like it if he held him down? What if he… started moaning back.

Kyle shivered violently, blaming the cool breeze that didn't exist. His eyes shot wide at the sound of a snapping twig, only to narrow dangerously when he recognized the figure approaching.

"Hey, Kyle." Kenny waved.

"You asshole."

"What'd I do?"

"You told me Ten 'o clock." Kyle reminded him.

"Dad brought home food." Kenny explained, flashing a small bit of what had once been a sandwich before stuffing it into his mouth.

"I didn't even get dinner because I didn't want to make you wait for me!"

"Why didn't you eat earlier, too busy humping Stan's shirt? Which, by the way, looks sextacular on you."

"I pulled it on as I ran out the door," He defended his pride. "And I was sleeping."

Kenny shrugged. "You snooze, you loose, Dude." He looked up at Stan's window. "Forget about dinner, desserts waiting."

Kyle rolled his eyes heavenward. "What are we suppose to be doing anyway?"

Kenny scanned around. "You're going to kiss him. Is there any rocks around here?"

"What?"

"Rocks." Kenny repeated slowly. "You know, those things you use to-"

"I know what a god damn rock is!" Kyle screamed, then immediately covered his mouth and glanced at the dark window overhead.

"Nice going, Juliet. You'd better shut the fuck up before you wake up Romeo's parents!" Kenny pointed darkly at the house.

"What do you mean, I'm going to kiss him?" Kyle demanded on a whisper.

"What part of that don't you understand?" Kenny raised an eyebrow. "I don't mind showing you exactly what a kiss is, if that's what you're confused about."

Kyle took a decent sized step back. "I know how to kiss. But why do I have to kiss Stan?"

"You're too smart to be this damn stupid." His perverted counterpart insulted as he picked up a rock. "Now throw this at the window." He pointed upward.

"I don't wanna do this!"

"God, Kyle, you know how that turns me on-"

"Kenny-"

"That pouting-"

"No-"

"Drives me crazy."

"Fine! Lets just get this over with. It's not like Stan can hate me more than he already does." He ripped the rock from Kenny's hand and aimed it at the window determinedly before lowering it. "I can't… do it this way." he admitted.

"God damn, Kyle."

"Really," He sighed. "Climb up and tell him I'm here."

"What a pussy thing to do."

"Fine, then go through his window, unlock the front door for me and then stand guard."

"No."

"Come on, Kenny, it's easy."

"Why do I always have to do the stupid shit?"

"Because you're the blonde." Kyle stated matter-of-factly. "Plus, you have slim hips."

Kenny looked down at his pants, then smiled brightly. "You like that, huh?"

"Goddamnit, Kenny, would you just do it?"

He looked reluctantly to the window and back again. "Nuh uh."

"Why!" He protested loudly, to which Kenny covered his ears in mocked tease.

"What do I get out of this?" He asked. "You get to fuck the hottest guy in the whole world while I get hauled off to jail for breaking and entering? Fuck that shit."

"I'm not going to-"

"Fuck him." Kenny finished with a roll of his eyes, then coughed into his hand, which sounded suspiciously like "Bullshit."

"I'm not!"

"Than you're a stupid, dumb shit!" He shouted back. "Stan blows off the top of the fuckability chart! God damn, how the hell can you crawl into his bedroom to find out if he's really hot for you, and not do a goddamn thing about it? If he were getting hard over me, I would have cornered him in the gym showers and found out exactly how hot I could make him weeks ago! And then I would do it over and over and over and-"

"Alright!" Kyle echoed. "Jesus Christ, Kenny. If you're this much of a horny bastard now, I'm gonna hate to see you when you're sixteen."

"If I don't get some action by then, I'll fucking explode and won't be around to get horny anymore!"

"I just don't want to be alone on this, alright?"

"We're suppose to both go in together."

"I don't want you watching us!"

Kenny smirked beneath his hood. "So, you are going to-"

"Stop it, Kenny!"

Kenny sighed, finally giving in. "Okay, Kyle. I'll do this because I know you're afraid of what might happen tonight. You're justified to be a little bit of a dick." He consoled, patting his friend on the shoulder. "I'll sneak through and let you in the door." He got no farther than a step toward his destination when Kyle placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"Wait, I just thought of something," Kyle mused. "What if he has Butters up there?"

"So, what if he does?"

Kyle scoffed. "What if they're making out or something?"

Kenny considered this for only a short time. If Butters was up there, he'd have no choice but to keep the gray-eyed sex god occupied. "Oh, Jesus, I hope so."

"Kenny-" Kyle started angrily, and was shoved out of the way.

"Get the hell out of my way, I want to see." He climbed the ladder at record speed, and placed his hands and nose to the platted glass to peer inside. "Oh, crap." He whispered. "Making out is the least of your worries. You should see the hot shit that's really going on-"

"What!" Kyle wailed.

Kenny rolled his eyes. "He's sleeping. Alone."

"Ass master." Kyle hissed.

"If I don't come out in ten minutes," Kenny warned, quietly sliding open Stan's window before peering down at his green hatted friend. "Then Stan was just too damn hot and I decided to fuck him instead."

"Oh, you'd better be kidding!" Kyle growled. "Kenny?" He asked as the boy disappeared inside the room. "Kenny!"

The low-class boy chuckled to himself as he closed the window to drown out Kyle's shouts. He was so jealous and probably didn't even realize it. But, one look at Stan was all the reason anyone needed to understand why. Kenny stared down at his sleeping friend, letting his eyes cost over his body.

"Kyle's a lucky Bastard," He breathed, than smiled to himself as a mental picture of Butters flashed across his mind. "Not as lucky as I'm going to be."

He pulled himself away from the bed and to the door, resisting the urge to give Stan another hickey. He didn't even bother to sneak passed the closed bedroom doors of the rest of the Marsh family as he passed them in the hall and treaded down the stairs to unlock the door for Kyle.

"What the hell takes so damn long to unlock a fucking door?" The Jew demanded on a whisper.

"Relax, I didn't touch your boyfriend." Kenny promised, earning himself an angry grunt from Kyle. "He's still asleep, so when you get up there just wake him up and tongue him before he realizes what's happening."

"I'm not using my tongue!"

"You have to, that's what will really get his juices flowing." Kenny envisioned. "Have fun. If anything goes wrong, I'll be down here eating."

"You just ate." Kyle reminded him.

Kenny shrugged. "Yeah, but I'm poor. I eat free food whenever I can. Besides, if you get to go to Stan's room for dessert, than I get to go to Stan's kitchen for dessert."

Kyle sighed heavily, glancing away from his orange clad friend to the stairs. "Here goes nothing."

He had been to Stan's house more times than he could count, but the hallway to his room had never seemed so long. He could feel his heartbeat pulsating throughout his body, his breath thundering in his ears with each step he took. Stan always slept with his door closed, but apparently Kenny had left it wide open for his convenience. He lingered in the doorway, staring at the dark figure sound asleep in bed until his eyes adjusted to the dark room. He could make out Stan's deep, even breathing and messy dark hair. With another deep breath to instill composure, Kyle crept into the room, closing the door softly behind him for good measure.

Every step he took sounded like a god damn racket to his own ears, even though in reality they fell silent on the plush carpeting. He stopped only when he lightly bumped against the side of the mattress, freezing stone still as he looked down upon his soul mate. An almost compassionate smile curved Kyle's mouth until his eyes fell victim to Stan's lips. His eyes fluttered closed at the remembrance of the way his kisses tasted. He swallowed hard, reaching a slow hand out to shake his friend on the shoulder. His fingers were a mere inch away when he stopped, retracting his hand close to his own body. A scowl crossed his face, angry at his own weakness and reached his hand out determinedly, only to yank it away again the second he felt the softness of Stan's clothing. With a defeated sigh, he sunk carefully onto the edge of the bed, his back toward the dark-haired boy.

"Stan," He spoke softly, needing to get this out but not wanting to wake the sleeping boy. "I… came here to test you. Cartman says-" He paused to twist his fingers before going on. "He says you have a boner for me. Kenny thought it would be a good idea if I found out for sure. But I can't."

He closed his eyes, reliving the scene of Butters and Stan joined at the lips.

It seemed like it hurt more each time, like the reality hit deeper. "I saw you with Butters today." He admitted. He trembled slightly, although he was unsure why. "Why didn't you tell me? Damnit, Stan, I'm suppose to be your best friend. You're suppose to be able to tell me anything."

Tears of anger glassed his eyes, but refused to fall. He didn't know what he was so angry at. Was it the fact that his so-called "best friend" didn't trust him? Somehow he didn't think so.

"Dude, I don't care if you're gay, I care that you hid it from me. You should know that… that I'll love you no matter what. We've been through everything together, and I can't even imagine going through the rest of my life without you. It just sucks ass that you don't think you can trust me."

He ran his hands down his face in frustration, and closed his eyes as he tried to get a grip.

"K- yle…"

He jerked slightly at the small sound and turned to look at the sleeping youth. Was he dreaming something?

Kyle shifted on the bed, edging closer and leaning over to get a better look at Stan's expression in the dark. Yes, he was still sleeping.

"Stan?" He breathed, suddenly feeling like he was suffocating. "Can you hear me?"

Stan took in a deep breath and stirred. Obviously he wasn't awake… but he could hear what was being said.

Maybe Kyle should test him out. Maybe it was possible that Stan really did have a thing for him. He swallowed back his sudden hopefulness and leaned closer, balancing his weight by resting his forearm and elbow on the side of Stan opposite of where he sat.

"Stan?" He whispered, again receiving the same response. He moved closer, placing his lips next to Stan's ear. "Do you want me to kiss you again? Do you want to feel my tongue caressing your body, down your neck, and your chest and your stomach? Does my voice really turn you on? I wanna know if I make you hot. Come on, Stan, show me. Let me see how much you want it. Get nice and hard for me."

Stan's breathing increased steadily as Kyle continued to speak, going more in depth until remembering Cartman's spiteful words; Moan into his ear or some stupid shit like that.

Stupid, maybe, but worth a shot. Apparently his voice was doing something, But it may very well be the fact that something's disturbing Stan's peaceful slumber.

"You want me to touch you, Stan? You want me to feel you get hot and hard?" He closed his eyes, proceeding to let out soft, deep moans. Tears began to leak out his eyes as the sound of Stan's rapid breathing quickened, coming out in whimpered moans that matched his own.

"Damnit, Stan, you like it don't you? Don't you!" Kyle's anger increased along with tears. "You want me, don't you? Don't you , you fucking bastard!"

His teary eyes caught sight of something in Stan's curled hand. He reached out, gently pulling out whatever it was he clutched so tightly. Kyle felt his heart clench up when he recognized the picture of the play.

He choked out a sob, collapsing onto his friend and bawling into his shoulder.

Cartman was right. Cartman… knew. Somehow in all this, the fat bastard was telling the truth, whether or not he knew it himself was a different matter entirely. Stan wanted him, there was no hiding it. Kyle could feel his breath, hot and heavy against his skin, heard his moans, felt his excitement pressing into his thigh, strong and full. And he could feel… his own.

His eyes snapped open, tears coming to a violent halt as he pulled back. His jaw dropped as he stared back into Stan's reflective blue eyes, breathing coming out in gasping pants.

"Kyle…?"

And he stumbled out of the bed, scrambling to his feet and hightailing it out of the room faster than he imagined possible. He didn't stop, and he didn't look back, he couldn't face Stan… he couldn't because…

He was hard, too.


-BratChild3 (Lisha)