Uh... Surprise? Semi-double-post to celebrate being back! I just want to say a HUGE thank you to the people who've come and left comments - it genuinely almost brought me to tears last night seeing that people still want to see where this is going, even though I vanished for so long. So, this chapter is dedicated to the people who've stuck by me through the craziness. This one has been a long time coming, and I'm so excited (and terrified!) to put it into the light. Any thoughts, feelings, criticisms, etc, are MORE than welcomed here. As always, I love you all and hope you enjoy!


"Morning, Pinako!" Lissa greeted cheerily as she stepped into the kitchen the next morning, pointedly ignoring Hohenheim's presence. She'd arisen early, disturbed by dreams of fire and pain from her own childhood—and rather than bothering Ed with something that was starting to be a regular occurrence, she'd disentangled herself from him and come downstairs in search of food.

Pinako looked up at her in surprise. "Oh, good morning, Lissa. You're up early."

Lissa quirked a smile. "It's a habit at this point. You know Ed, he's always sleeping in, so Al and I get everything done in the mornings while he's asleep. I hardly know how to sleep past ten anymore."

"You seem to know my sons quite well," Hohenheim observed quietly.

She forced herself to look at him, seated at the kitchen table like he belonged there. "I do," she told him honestly. "I've been traveling with Ed and Al for almost four years now. They're like family to me at this point. I'm lucky to have them." Well…he couldn't miss that barb.

Yet it didn't seem to faze him. "Then you have my gratitude, for looking after them."

That sounds more like a threat than it should.

"And how is Alphonse?" he continued, as though this were a perfectly normal situation, when it absolutely was not. "I've heard about his…condition, of course, but even so…"

Lissa quelled her rage that he'd only deigned to ask about this now. "Al's a good kid. He's doing better than anyone would give him credit for." She wondered what he'd even say to Al… How he'd handle that situation… Al didn't hate him like Ed, but he wouldn't like being talked down to very much either.

"So he's…" Hohenheim searched for the word. "Coping, then?"

She crossed her arms over her chest and frowned at him. "If you have something to ask me, go ahead and ask. There's no reason to dance around and pretend everything's normal. None of our lives are. I get along so well with the boys because we all have some demons in our past. Ask me whatever you'd like." There. It was better to just…get it out, she figured, rather than keep up this stupid charade. She hated playing games.

Frustratingly, he smiled at her, sort of condescendingly. "You have a lot of fire in you, I see. Well… I suppose I'm asking if he's angry with his situation."

"Angry?" Lissa raised an eyebrow. "No. He's not angry. Nobody would enjoy that, but he isn't angry and he isn't resentful, either. Just…determined to get back to normal, that's all." She shrugged faintly. "That's what I've been helping them with."

"A noble cause, I suppose. And what drew you in, may I ask? Why would you be so invested in their journey?" He gave her a curious look. "What about your own plans?"

Lissa almost laughed. It was just so ridiculous, his interest in this. "Because I care about them. It's just that simple for me. I'm a state alchemist, and I don't have a say in that—but I chose to help Ed and Al because I care about them, and that's enough for me."

He inclined his head towards her, a kind of concession. "Then I suppose I'll leave them in your capable hands."

She recoiled in shock. Did he just say…

Pinako eyed him, frowning. "You're leaving so soon?"

"I'm afraid so. I have important business to handle elsewhere in Amestris." Hohenheim stood and adjusted his jacket, and only then did Lissa notice he was in the same suit as the day before, fully dressed, ready to go. Already running away… The coward.

"Hmph." Pinako crossed the kitchen and stuck her head round the doorframe. "Ed!" she yelled, towards the stairs. "Get out of bed already! Your father's about to head out!"

Lissa retreated a few steps from Hohenheim as he crossed the room, pausing at the corkboard of photos and pinching the bottom of one picture between two fingers. "I… I'll go check on him," she stammered. She was too angry to linger, too upset on Ed's behalf to even try and stay to watch this man leave. How he could possibly go racing off again, away from the child he hadn't seen in ten years…she just didn't understand it.

Thankfully, Pinako seemed to sense her internal struggle. "Why don't you go on and see if he's hungry. I know you kids will be off to Central soon, and I'd like to send you well fed, at least."

She stared for one more second at Hohenheim, still fixated on that photograph, before turning and retreating upstairs. Lissa only wished she'd had the guts to give him one last parting shot. But then again… Was it worth the effort? He wasn't receptive to it anyway.

Sighing, she opened the bedroom door and stepped back inside, kicking the door shut behind her.

"Liss?!"

She staggered as Ed suddenly flung himself against her, folding his arms around her so tightly it almost hurt. "What—what's going on?" She pulled back enough to see his face, to take in the sheen of cold sweat still lingering, the panicked tightness around his eyes…

"I—I thought…" He suddenly jerked backwards and shook his head. "I'm sorry. It's stupid."

Lissa frowned at him, worried. "Did you…have a nightmare?" she edged.

Ed passed a hand over his face and shook his head. "I mean, I did, but that's not… It's not what I…" He swallowed visibly, his skin pallid, golden eyes still fraught with anxiety. "It's nothing, Liss. Sorry. I just heard what Granny said and I…"

She pressed a hand to her mouth as it clicked inside her head, the words he wouldn't say. "Ed… Did you think that I'd…left you?"

He winced and hid his face behind his hands. "It was stupid. Just a stupid gut reaction."

So he'd woken up from a nightmare to Pinako yelling about his father leaving…and somehow, somewhere in his mind, it had been twisted around into this fear that she herself was leaving too… Because he'd woken up alone and she hadn't been there… It broke her heart, it truly did. He was so wrecked by Hohenheim showing up that for a moment he'd actually thought she was gone.

Lissa crossed to him slowly and slid her fingers around his wrists, gently tugged his hands off his face. "Ed… I'm not going anywhere," she whispered once he looked at her. "I said you were stuck with me, didn't I?"

He averted his eyes. "You could change your mind."

"Change my mind?" She pulled him in closer and looped her arms behind his neck, so there was nothing he could do but look at her, nowhere else to take his gaze. Ed's eyes were…always so, so beautiful to her, that impossible golden color… But he was so afraid, she'd hardly ever seen him scared like this… Was he really so afraid of losing her? "But why?" she asked him softly. "Why would I want to be anywhere but with you?"

Ed's mouth fell open, lips parting just slightly. She could feel the warmth of his breath on her face, see the faintest tremor in his jaw… His eyelashes were even blond, she noted, that same warm golden color, like pure sunlight…

"Liss…" He breathed her name, the faintest whisper, as that deep, aching fear faded from his gaze. His eyes widened, almost imperceptibly, and Lissa heard his breath catch. What had he realized? What was going on in his head? She thought she knew, most of the time, but this was… Something so different… She'd never seen anything like this on him before… This sense of…comprehension, like something had slotted into place inside his mind…

Lissa wanted to ask… But she never had to.

Ed's lips were impossibly soft as they pressed into hers, a whisper of contact, tentative, giving her time to pull away, to withdraw… Yet when she didn't, he kissed her again, drew her into him with a hand on her hip, fingers brushing underneath her shirt, asking, not demanding… And Lissa was powerless against him, every part of her alive under his touch, the warmth of him, his lips against hers like they were meant to be there, as though-

She stumbled as he yanked back, stared at her in horror for a moment—and then ducked his head and raced for the door.

"Ed, no!" Lissa jumped into his path, caught him against her, aware much too late that she was shaking, her emotions flying out of control at the sudden shift. "Stop it, don't go," she begged him. "What are you doing, why would you leave?"

He wrenched free and stood there, hands clenched at his sides, chest heaving. She'd never seen him so panicked. "I ruined it," he breathed. "I fucking ruined—everything, Liss, don't you get it? We can't, I can't do that to you…"

And suddenly they were back in a hotel room in South City, with his fears about screwing things up and her own insecurity between them, holding them back…

"I'm sorry," he blurted. "I'm so fucking sorry, Lissa. I want…" Ed squinted his eyes shut in pain for a moment, a shudder running through him. "I want this, I swear I do, I'm not screwing with you, but I… Just look at me, at my whole damned life… I can't put that on you, or ask that of you…" He curled his automail arm, the metal creaking as he pressed his fist over his heart. "You know what I am. You know all the shit that I've done and the shit I still have to do… I won't do that to you."

And to think…all this time…I was afraid of distracting him, of affecting his path… When the truth was something so very different…

"Ed…" Lissa reached out and traced her fingers over the cool metal of his automail, her thumb brushing the seam where it sat against his skin, hearing his breath catch in his throat at her touch. "That night, in South City… Did you almost…"

He nodded shakily. "Yes."

She'd known—but it was good to hear it from him, to know for sure, to have that confirmation. "You know… All those things you said… I could say the same about myself." Lissa shrugged faintly, watching the spot where her fingers rested against his scarring, keeping him settled, keeping him grounded. "Look at my life, Ed. Look at the things I'm facing out of my own past, and what I will be facing through my whole life, debt I can't pay back, trapped by the damned military… And you're worrying about something I'm already part of." She looked up at him, lifting her right hand and tracing it along his collarbone, up and around, her fingers slipping into his hair to rest at the nape of his neck. "You don't see it, do you? I thought I was being obvious, and you were just…holding back."

Ed swallowed visibly, looking so genuinely confused it made her smile. "Being…obvious? I don't get it, Liss… What are you talking about?"

"Dummy," she chided softly. "You're so busy worrying about how you're putting something on me… But…the thing is…" Lissa pulled him in close and he didn't resist, didn't do anything but let his eyes flutter shut as she put all her anxiety aside—and kissed him, like she'd wanted to do for so long.

She heard him suck in a sharp breath as he wrapped his arms around her, fearless this time, his left hand sliding underneath her shirt and tracing up her spine, using the leverage to press her against him. The cool metal of his automail hand rested along her hip, the weight of it grounding her, reminding her that this was real, that she wasn't dreaming or imagining things… Because part of her still thought it could be a dream. A wonderful one.

Lissa's stomach tightened, muscles constricting, as he pulled his lips away from hers—only to feather soft, whisper-light kisses across her jaw, down her neck, finding her pulse and pressing a kiss there. Every nerve in her body was alight, humming, her entire being unraveling with just a few soft touches.

Slowly, as though he thought he'd scare her away if he moved too quickly, he walked her backwards, trailing kisses back to her mouth—then his lips closed around her bottom lip, just for a moment. Her knees hit the bed and Lissa sat down, pulling him with her, sliding back and letting him crawl over her. She could see anxiety lingering in his eyes, as he propped up on his arms and watched her for a moment, maybe unsure of what to do…or perhaps too nervous to do anything more…

"I'm not that fragile," she pointed out wryly, managing to make him smile. "And I'm not stupid, either… Boundaries and all that…" Not entirely subtle, are you? "Just… Don't think so hard, Ed… I can see it, right here." She touched her finger to the crease between his eyebrows. "You're worrying too much."

He smiled ruefully. "I just…don't wanna mess this up, that's all. I don't want to lose you, Liss."

Lissa's heart fluttered in her chest at the words… He was so sweet… How had she ever stayed away? "I'm not going anywhere," she told him softly. "I told you, I don't want to be anywhere else. I don't want anyone else." Gently as she could, she urged him down, letting him rest his weight on her more, relaxing his arms, the tension in his body… Though it made nerves twist in her stomach, she leaned up and kissed the side of his neck, the same spot she'd wanted to kiss the last time they'd been here… His sharp inhale made her feel braver, more confident, so she trusted her own instincts…and gently nipped with her teeth, right on his pulse point.

Ed breathed out harshly, then whispered her name, almost a plea… He shifted and brought her lips back to his with two fingers under her chin, kissing her harder now, finding his own confidence. They were both learning, she was aware, both new to every part of this—but there was something so…comforting about discovering it with somebody else, with so much trust and care coloring everything they did…

Lissa found herself contemplating, between kisses and Ed's thumb tracing patterns into her abdomen, if it would be too much to try and pull his shirt off…testing limits, searching for boundaries she still hadn't hit yet…

When Pinako yelled up at them, "Come on, you two! It's safe to come down now, y'know!"

She felt her face go bright red as she realized just how long they'd been up there. Ed mirrored her expression, wide-eyed panic and a cherry red face—but it was just too silly. Lissa cracked first, laughing past her embarrassment, and Ed followed a split second later, smothering his laughter in her shoulder.

"Shit," he laughed, pushing up on his automail and grinning down at her. "I, uh… We should probably…"

Lissa giggled and nodded. "Before she comes looking for us, yeah."

With a little lingering embarrassment, Ed sat up off her, extricating himself from the tangle of limbs they'd become, and hung his legs off the side of the bed. "So, I… I don't…exactly know what to do now," he admitted quietly, as she sat up beside him.

She took his hand in hers, admiring the way they fit together as she considered it. "I mean… I'm not sure either." It was a reasonable question—what now? What now, after spending that time together, breaking down the separation between them, crossing that invisible line… Lissa bit the inside of her cheek. They'd kissed. Not just sort-of, either. No, they'd both completely gotten lost in each other, for the better part of an hour if the clock was to be believed.

Oops?

"I guess…the only thing I'm really sure of is that I can't just…go back," Ed told her, quirking a smile. "And I…don't want to. I really don't."

Lissa blushed under his gaze. He was so…certain. "I don't either."

"We could just…" He shrugged lightly. "See how it goes. Right now it feels so big, but…I don't know that it's going to be such a huge change, in the end. More like…an improvement."

"An improvement?" she repeated, smirking. "You sound so clinical."

Ed laughed and rubbed the back of his head, embarrassed. "Sorry. Force of habit."

"You're right, though," Lissa conceded. "And I don't want it—us—to be something…stressful. I'm so tired of worrying all the time, Ed. I spent so much time holding myself back and—and worrying that I'd hurt you… I just want this one thing to be easy."

"Me too," he agreed. "So let's keep it that way, okay? Just…easy." Ed leaned in, pulled her close, and kissed her again, as if to prove he meant what he said.

Lissa smiled and rested her forehead on his, once he pulled back. "We really should go downstairs, though. I know we're making up for lost time and all, but…"

"Yeah, I don't…" He wrinkled his nose. "I don't wanna deal with that yet."

Besides… If he was on the same page as her, then really…they had to come clean to Alphonse first. He deserved to know.

Trying to find a sense of just…normalcy in everything, Lissa knelt behind Ed and braided his hair for him, chatting absently about getting train tickets and what they'd do when they got back to Central, letting the tension fade from the air. And by the time they went downstairs, met up with Pinako to eat, settled at the table in good spirits, she was beginning to think that maybe it really could be easy. Why not? Did being together have to be some kind of horrible, stressful thing? Or could it just be something positive, something that didn't add to all the stress they already had to handle?

Together.

Lissa glanced up at Ed, sitting next to her at the kitchen table, acting like everything was normal. Maybe it was. Maybe this would just be…normal now.

"Granny…" He shifted in his seat, and Lissa just felt his mood drop. Something was wrong.

Pinako stared at him across the table, eyes narrowed, clearly aware of the change herself. "What's going on, Ed?"

"I…need your help with something." His hand found Lissa's under the table, and she realized he was shaking faintly. Whatever this was, it had weighed on him while they ate, gnawed at him until he had to face it. "I need you to show me where you buried the body Al and I transmuted."

Oh, no.

Pinako tensed up. "So you heard your father talking last night, did you?"

Ed nodded once, his jaw clenched. "Yeah. I have to know, Granny. I can't just…pretend I didn't hear it and move on with my life."

"All right," she agreed, though she sounded unhappy about it. "I'll show you."

Lissa knew why Pinako hadn't argued—nobody could talk Ed out of something, not once he'd made up his mind. She'd learned that lesson herself the hard way, ages ago, that he just simply became immutable when he wanted to.

"Liss…" Ed turned to her, looking so pained. "I…I want you to stay here."

She gritted her teeth. "You're asking me to stay behind. Ed, you know me better than that, I can't just let you-"

But he shook his head and cut her off. "This is different, okay? There's no threat, there's just…" Ed gave her a desperate look. "I don't want you to see it. The thing we made…whatever it was…it was horrible. I just want to protect you from something, for once. You're always doing it for me, so just…just let me do the same for you. One time, Liss. Please."

He didn't say it earlier because he was too afraid, she realized with a jolt. He needed to build up the courage to ask this of me.

"I don't like it," she told him honestly, struggling to find the right words. "You know I don't."

"I know. But if I can just…keep you from having to see that thing…to see what we did…" Ed tightened his fingers on her. "Stay here. Please."

Lissa swallowed hard, forcing back what she wanted to say. "Okay," she agreed, instead of voicing anything else that was inside her head. "All right, if that's what you need me to do. Just…" She cast a look out the front windows, at the grey clouds rolling over the sky. "Be careful."

So Lissa stood there, watching out the front door, as Ed and Pinako headed out under the stormy sky, armed with a shovels, and headed for the remains of the Elrics' old house.

"You idiot," she muttered under her breath, shutting the door and standing there a moment, the emptiness of the house making her skin crawl. "What a complete idiot I decided to fall for. Stupid." Lissa glanced across at the clock on the mantel, marking the time. The whole thing was so bad—not what Ed wanted to do, no, because she understood what was driving him… But asking her to wait, making it so painfully obvious he was putting himself into a horrible position and he couldn't bear for her to watch him suffer, not after what had happened between them…

He was an idiot for trying to protect her, of course he was. But he was an even bigger idiot for thinking she'd actually stay behind.

I don't care if I get punched in the face for it. The next time I see Izumi, I'm going to hug her for teaching me this lesson. When you care for someone, you don't let them go off on their own for some stupid reason. You go after them.

Ten minutes. Not fifteen.

Ten minutes later, Lissa strode out into the pouring rain, hair pulled into a ponytail and out of her face, carrying a newly-transmuted shovel slung over her shoulder, her mouth set in a grim line. She knew she should've fought, should've tried to convince him otherwise… But sometimes there was no reasoning with him. Ed believed so deeply that he was at fault for everything, that he needed to shoulder everything himself… And even now, she didn't know how to tell him any different.

But she thought she might know how to show him.

The road was deserted all the way to the house. Lissa was soaked to the bone by the time she saw that familiar charred tree, and turned up the hillside path that led to the burned-down house—she knew how awfully bad weather affected Ed, made him ache around his ports, so she could only imagine how terrible it was to be out like this.

At least…she could only imagine until she crested the hill and saw him leaning underneath the tree, his right hand pressed against the trunk for support, bent in half, throwing up violently, his whole body heaving. Lissa froze for a moment, stunned. He'd work himself to death this way. She watched, utterly horrified, as he coughed and retched again, clutching at his stomach with his left hand in a sort of agony.

She realized, belatedly, that Pinako had spotted her—the woman was staring at her almost…hopefully, through the rain. Hopefully. She wanted this to stop as much as Lissa did, but it was so, so hard to stand against Ed's will.

Slowly, Ed straightened up and wiped his sleeve across his mouth, a sharp, ragged motion.

Lissa crossed the distance between them, stood directly in the way of the half-dug earth behind her, and rested her shovel against the ground with a thump.

Ed jolted as he turned and looked at her, eyes shooting wide. "Lissa?! Dammit, what the hell are you doing here?! I thought I told you t-" He broke off and clutched at his abdomen again, doubling over in pain. Then he spun away and grabbed onto the tree again as his stomach gave up the fight, emptying itself again.

"That's why I'm here," she told him lowly. "Because you don't know when to stop."

He rounded on her, shaking from some awful combination of everything—anger and pain and stress, all rolled into one. "I have to do this!" he snarled. "I can't just stop, I have to do this, I have to know what I did!"

"Not alone!" she yelled back, ramming her shovel into the dirt furiously. "Why the hell does everything have to be just you, Ed?! How is it any better if you do it by yourself?!"

"Because this is my burden! Not yours, not anyone else's! It's not your fucking place to get involved!" He tried to shove past her, tried to just force his way through—but Lissa swung the shovel up and blocked him. "Let me through," he growled, golden eyes burning with rage.

But she held her ground. "Fine, be angry with me!" Lissa told him fiercely. "Go ahead, scream at me! Say whatever you want, Ed! I'm not moving!"

"Get out of my way!" He grabbed the shovel and yanked it from her hands, tossed it aside.

But she'd been expecting that. She lunged forward and caught his wrists, holding down as tightly as she possibly dared, and dug her heels into the ground. When he jerked against her grip, trying to yank free, Lissa shoved him backwards hard enough to force him to stumble a few steps back, his eyes suddenly going wide as he realized, in his weakened state she was actually strong enough to hold him. "You listen to me, Edward Elric!" she snarled, furious. "You listen to what I have to say because I'm tired of having to tell you this every time something happens!" Lissa swung her arms down and pinned his hands to his sides, stepping up so she was only a couple inches away, staring right into his eyes. "You don't have to do everything alone! You've got to stop trying to put everything on your shoulders when you have people around you who care, who want to help you—people like me! I'm not an idiot, I know damn well what I signed up for when I chose to go with you! I didn't do it because I thought it'd be fun, because I didn't know the risks—I knew it'd be hard, but you know what? I did it anyway! And I'm still here, I'm still right fucking here! Because I care about you! And you don't let someone you care about run themselves into the ground, not unless you're right there beside them!"

Overcome, Lissa released him—but he didn't move. He just stood there, staring, chest heaving so hard it made her eyes burn with tears.

"I won't let you do this alone, Ed," she breathed, her anger fading into sorrow, though her resolve didn't waver. "I care about you too much to let you shoulder this all by yourself. I'm here. And I'm not going anywhere, you understand? There's not a damn thing that's going to keep me from looking after you." Lissa picked up the discarded shovel and jabbed it at the makeshift grave behind her. "You have two choices. You can fight me, and I can knock you on your ass and do this myself. Or you can do it with me, and let me watch over you. But I'm not leaving, no matter what you do."

It took a moment—but finally, Ed nodded slowly, accepting it. "Okay," he agreed quietly. "I guess I can't stop you."

"No," she told him bluntly. "You can't."

He was angry with her, she knew that for sure. He wouldn't so much as look at her as they worked, though he listened when she insisted he take a break, whenever she caught him flagging. Lissa took it as a victory when he consented to step back and sit, just panting hard and clutching at his automail—and allowing her to continue until he got his breath back and rejoined her.

Lissa thought she might've ruined everything, losing her temper that way. But she didn't know what else to do. Maybe the price of taking care of him was losing what they might have… And if so, she'd just have to accept it.

Though her arms ached, her whole body hurt, though she was shivering head to toe from the cold and constant rain, Lissa didn't allow herself to stop—not until Ed suddenly let out a cry and dropped to his knees, flinging the shovel aside. She knew what had happened when he began scrabbling at the mud with his bare hands, frantic.

They'd reached it.

She tossed her transmuted shovel to the ground and watched, anxious, as Ed reached into the hole and withdrew what looked like a bundle of hair. Lissa thought she might be sick.

He staggered to his feet and raced to the bucket of rainwater Pinako had set out, sinking to his knees before it and shoving his hand inside. Lissa followed, conscious for the first time of the heavy weight of sulfur on her shoulders, the iron tinge of blood… She'd been so distracted she hadn't even noticed her extra senses until then.

"Granny…" Ed's voice came out tremulous, so small. "Mom's hair was a light chestnut color…" He lifted a shaking hand. "This is black…"

Lissa swallowed back a wave of revulsion. The hair in his hand…it was unmistakably black, not a trace of brown. Which meant… Which meant… Hohenheim was right. The thing the boys had transmuted couldn't possibly have been Trisha Elric.

But even so… They had to confirm it. Lissa knew that. This wasn't enough proof to quell Ed's distress.

"Lissa… Come help me with this," Pinako asked her quietly. "I need to examine the bones of that thing, to make sure we know what we're dealing with here."

"Of course," she agreed, though her stomach churned at the thought.

Ed stared up at her helplessly. "N-no… Liss…"

She just shook her head at him, though. "Don't. You've been through enough already, okay? Just let me handle this."

I can do this. I have to, for him.

It took Lissa nearly another hour to dig it all up—that horrible creature she'd seen just in a glimpse, a flash of something that wasn't even there. By the time she was finished, her arms were trembling from the strain, muscles right on the brink of giving out… Yet she'd spared Ed the act of digging it up. That alone made the whole thing worth it.

With a surgeon's clinical approach, Pinako examined the skeleton while Ed and Lissa watched, though she kept a respectful distance between them. She didn't dare push him, not now.

"This femur…it's much too long," Pinako mused after a moment, a measuring tape poised next to the bone in question. She shifted to the side, picked up another piece and examined it for a moment, through the rain. "And this pelvis? I'm pretty sure it's male."

Ed stared at her in utter shock. "It is?" he whispered.

Pinako got to her feet and met his gaze. "I'm sorry… But I'm afraid this isn't your mother, Ed."

For a moment, Ed just stared, his face contorted in pure horror—then he crashed to the ground, on his hands and knees, like all the strength had gone out of him at once. Lissa moved, wanted to go to him…

But then he began to laugh. Unhinged, wild, completely overwrought with everything. He tipped his head back, still on his knees, and stared up at the rainy sky with an unfathomable expression on his face. "Then that's it," he breathed. "It really is impossible to bring the dead back to life. The undeniable truth…" He dropped his face into his hands and laughed again, a horrible sound. "It was impossible all along!"

"Edward, now listen to me," Pinako tried, reaching for him. "You've gotta get ahold of yourself."

Lissa sank to her knees beside him, pushed her own reservations away, and gently pulled his hands away from his face. He let her, didn't fight her grip, though he kept his head bowed.

"I'm okay," he told them softly, after a moment. "It's okay." He raised his head then and regarded the skeleton, his gaze distant. "From the moment I made this thing, it's been the symbol of my despair. But not anymore… Now it's an emblem of hope." His eyes suddenly turned fierce, his expression hardening. "Al can be returned to normal."

Slowly, Lissa released his hands, and instead reached up to brush his hair from his face. "You need to get out of this rain," she told him softly. "It's not good for you."

Ed looked back at the skeleton, though. "I know, I just…" He swallowed visibly. "We need to rebury this. And…I'd like to make a headstone."

That was an argument she didn't want to have—so Lissa just nodded and accepted it. "I'll help you," she told him, instead of fighting any of it. "The sooner we get back, the better." She got to her feet, and then offered him a hand, wondering if he'd even be willing to accept that much. But to her surprise, he grabbed her hand and allowed her to help him stand up, leaning into her side for a moment to regain his balance.

So she hadn't lost him… Not completely. Lissa released him when he stepped away from her, watched him stride over to begin the final part of this horrific task, and let out a weary sigh. Just a little longer. She'd see this through until the end.

Lissa summoned up what strength she had left and joined him in returning the bones to the ground, a quicker task than getting them out, at least. Then she worked on refilling the hole while he transmuted a makeshift gravestone, and even found some flowers to lay at the completed grave. She marveled at that, at the way his mind worked. Lissa knew, though she'd never admitted it, what that thing looked like… She knew what the boys had created all those years ago. It looked so…inhuman. And now they knew without a doubt it hadn't been their mother. Yet Ed still treated it like a human, giving it a grave marker and flowers like a proper creature… He was a remarkable person, he truly was, finding something human to focus on even here.

When the job was done, Lissa transmuted her shovel back to its base components, unwilling to bring it back as a reminder. While Pinako started the slow trek home, trusting the two would follow, Lissa waited for Ed to finally turn away from the grave and walk in her direction before she dared start down the road.

Lissa jumped, startled when she felt something brush the palm of her hand—but it was just Ed, looking scared and uncertain, trying to ask permission for something he'd never needed to ask about before. She grabbed his hand tightly and pulled him in closer, feeling him relax into her.

"It's okay," she told him softly. "It's over, Ed."

He nodded wearily. "Yeah. Now there's just everything else to deal with."


He had to call Izumi. There was nothing for it. Ed's teacher was the only other person he knew who had committed the taboo, and he needed to know if her case was the same as his.

Lissa had no part in it, she knew that much, and there was still this awful distance between them anyway… So she left him to make his call and sat out on the porch instead, now that the rain had finally ceased, watching the storm clouds blow away. What would happen now? They'd argued… Not even a traditional argument but something even worse, tied in with that awful event, the creature he'd had to face again…

She knew he had every right to not take whatever they had any further. Lissa accepted that. It didn't make it any less painful to consider, but she was fully aware that Ed could resent her for what she'd done.

The front door opened, light pooling on her for a moment before the door swung shut again. Lissa sat quietly, immobile, as Ed stepped down and sat beside her. "How'd it go?" she asked him softly. "With Ms. Izumi."

He sighed roughly. "She hung up on me. I don't blame her… There's no right way to react to that."

Lissa just nodded—it wasn't really surprising.

"Are you…" Ed paused a moment, seeming like he was wrestling with something. "Are you avoiding me?"

She looked at him, baffled. "Avoiding you? No, I'm not avoiding you… I just…wanted to give you space, that's all." Lissa wrapped her arms around her knees and stared out across the fields. "I'd understand if you're angry, Ed. After everything I said to you… I… I won't apologize for it, I stand by what I said, but…I'd still understand you being angry."

"You think I'm angry at you?" Ed's voice wavered dangerously. "I—I thought you were angry at me, Liss. I thought…after what happened earlier…"

"Well, we're quite a pair, aren't we?" she muttered, smiling ruefully at him. "I'm not angry with you, Ed. You just…scare me sometimes, you know? I'm so worried that one day you'll forget completely that you need to be taken care of, that you have to look after yourself too… That's why Al and I promised to look after you… But…" She twisted her mouth up as a strike of anguish tugged at her heart. "I don't know how to protect you from yourself."

He bowed his head, all the way down between his knees, his shoulders beginning to shake. "I'm sorry. I just wanted to protect you from…from seeing that… I wanted to take care of you for a change, and I couldn't even do that."

"But I didn't need you to do that for me," Lissa explained gently, though Ed didn't look up. "I'd already sensed plenty, I knew what I was getting into… You keep forgetting, Ed… I was here only a few days after it happened. And even then, I could sense what was lingering in the air, even though I didn't know what it meant. And I… That night…" She felt a shudder run through her, and that did make him look up, forehead creased in worry. "I've never had this happen since, but it's still clinging to the energy there, so I suppose…it's stronger than most everything I've sensed…" Her fingers seized on a loose thread hanging from her shirt and tugged, sharply, ripping it free. "When I went into that house, back when I was eleven… I saw that thing, Ed. Just a glimpse when I first walked into the room, like an echo… I've never had something like that happen again, but I know what I saw. You didn't need to protect me from something I'd already seen."

"You…saw it?" Ed rasped, jerking upright. "But…Liss… You never told me, I had no idea, how…"

She twisted the thread between her fingers anxiously. "I…thought you'd think I was crazy. I'm sorry, I just…never knew how to say it without it sounding…even worse." She averted her gaze, unable to meet his eyes any longer. "I'm sorry, Edward."

His fingers crept onto her leg, thumb tracing a circle through the fabric of her trousers. "You hardly call me that anymore, you know."

That was…true, but why was it so important in that moment? "And you're the only one that calls me Liss," she murmured. "I don't get where you're going with this."

"Just… I mean… That's not how we are. We're closer than that, we don't judge each other for things like that… I don't understand the things you sense, I don't know what it's like to feel that… But that doesn't mean I'm gonna think you're crazy, either. Fuck, sometimes I think I'm crazy just from…seeing that…thing…" His fingers tightened on her leg. "You don't have to hide things from me. Okay?"

Lissa finally looked back at him, resting her hand atop his, and asked, "Would that have changed what you asked of me today?"

"No," Ed admitted quietly. "It wouldn't have. I still would've wanted to protect you from that."

"You don't need to protect me from your past," Lissa told him after a moment, choosing her words carefully. "We both have some horrible things in our pasts… I still don't even know the extent of what happened to me, if something did… I'd be the worst hypocrite if I said you shouldn't try to, y'know, protect me… I mean, you've said yourself that I have a habit of jumping in front of you. But this… This is just…something you've experienced, not something that's threatening you… And I don't need protecting from you."

He raked his automail hand through his bangs, tugging too hard. "Most of the time I feel like you do. I mean, look at me. I'm a fucking mess. And I…screwed everything up, too."

Lissa stared at him for a moment, wondering, trying to see if he really was saying what she thought he was. She knew that look. She'd seen it before—in Rush Valley, in South City, here in Resembool just the night before…

"I thought I did," she whispered, inching closer, and closer, until she could take his face between her hands. "I knew when I went after you that I was risking…us… And I decided it was worth it, that I'd give that up if it meant protecting you. I'd do it again, too. I don't know if that makes any sense, losing you to protect you, but…"

"You know… It's silly, but…when you got so upset with me, I…" The faintest smile touched his lips. "I couldn't help but remember the first argument we had."

She frowned, trying to recall exactly what he meant. "Which one? The mining town?"

But he shook his head, actually smiling now, resting his face into her hands. "No, way earlier than that. When my dumbass twelve-year-old self thought you were working with Mustang, like you were some double agent or something. It sounds so stupid now. But… It just made me think of that, the way you got so angry at me, all because you wanted to help. I remember being so surprised that you cared so much, enough to risk me yelling at you again…because I didn't see how some girl I'd only met once could actually wanna be around someone like me that badly. Al I can understand, he's a better person than I am, but me…" Lissa wanted to argue that point, but Ed talked right over her. "And today, I dunno… I just saw the same thing in you."

"What thing?" she asked, frowning.

Ed gently pulled her hands off his face—only to brush her hair back so he could see her clearly, like he was searching for something.

Lissa scrunched away from him, baffled. "What, Ed?" she tried again, crossing her arms.

He grinned. "That. You're so damn stubborn."

"Well, so are you," she muttered. What was he getting at here?

Ed pressed his lips together a moment, holding back a laugh. "Okay, yeah, I am, but that's not…" He shook his head fondly. "You're stubborn about the people you care about, Liss. It's different. You get your heart set on someone—and it can happen so fast, I mean, you made up your mind about me the first time you ever saw me. And once you do… Once you decide they're worth your effort… You'd do anything for them. Even yell at them, if it means looking out for them."

She felt her face heating up at his words. She'd never really thought about that, but it was true… Lissa had a finite list of the people she cared about, and she'd gotten into trouble before by making snap decisions about people—yet once she did put somebody on that list, well… She'd yet to reach the limit on what she'd do for them.

"It's sort of remarkable to see, honestly. I don't know what the hell I did to deserve you caring about me like that, but…" He leaned in and rested his forehead against hers. "I have no idea what I'd do without you now."

"That goes both ways, y'know," she told him, bringing her hand up to rest along the side of his neck, her thumb brushing his jawline. "I don't think you see just how much you and Al do for me. How much…how much you do, Ed. All the time. I was this lonely kid with anger problems and alchemical abilities that basically scared everybody off from even associating with me, except for state alchemists who were kind of forced into it anyway. But…you guys changed that. Of course I'm going to do everything I fucking can to protect you, because how else can I show you how grateful I am?"

"It's not like you have to make up for anything, Liss," Ed sighed, though he was smiling, leaning into her touch. "We want you around."

"Yeah, well… I think I'm starting to believe that," she admitted quietly. And it was true—despite herself, despite all her doubts and fears and the heavy anxiety she couldn't quite shake…it was beginning to sound real to her, somehow.

When he kissed her this time, it was sweeter, gentler than before, a way of offering reassurance, proof for what he'd said—yet he was also asking for that in return, just hesitant enough that she could pull back at any moment. Lissa smiled into it, just for a moment, before she pulled him to her, wrapping her arm around his back and closing the distance between them. He seemed so much more comfortable now, than he'd been before, like the air had been cleared and some of that latent anxiety had melted away.

She pulled back slowly, just far enough to speak. "So…we're okay?"

Ed smiled and nodded. His hands slid around her waist, pulled her in closer, and she felt her cheeks redden at the gesture. "We're okay, Liss," he confirmed softly.

It made her warm right down to her toes to hear that, to know that everything hadn't been completely ruined. "Then I guess…the only thing I'm still wondering…"

"Hm?"

She scrunched her nose up. "What are we gonna tell Al?"

Ed groaned and released her, lying flat there on the porch and pressing both hands over his face. "Ugh, he's already gonna be mad that we stayed this long… Then I have to tell him about Hohenheim showing up, and about…the transmutation… Not to mention everything we found out in Xerxes… Damn. I don't even know how he'll feel, I mean, we've never…" He bit down on his lip, blushing faintly. "You'd know. We've been doing this since we were kids, it's not like either of us has actually…had anything like this before."

"Well, I haven't either," she told him. Dammit but he was cute when he blushed like that. She felt like she could admit that to herself now. "But we…do need to tell him. He's your brother, and he might as well be my little brother too, after everything."

He nodded reluctantly. "Yeah. We will." Sighing, he sat back up and stared down the lane, thoughtful. "We should leave soon… I want to stop by the cemetery on the way out."

Of course… He'd never gotten to properly visit his mother's grave, and he hadn't managed to visit Winry's parents either. That was a necessary stop before they left Resembool, though it wouldn't be an easy stop, by any means. With that in mind, Lissa stood up and held out her hand for him. When he placed his hand in hers, she pulled him up and into her, looping her arms behind his neck and brushing her nose against his. He was…almost her height now, she realized with a jolt, having gained at least an inch or two in the past few months.

"You're…taller," she told him, blinking in surprise.

Ed grinned hugely, bouncing on his toes, almost childishly thrilled by the idea. "Wait, seriously? Are you sure?"

Lissa stuck her hand out in front of her, palm down, and held it at the same height as the top of his head—minus the antenna. Then she moved her hand back to her own head, showing him where he now came all the way almost to her hairline. "You were barely past my nose before, dummy. Now look at you."

"Finally! Hey, maybe one day I'll be taller than you, huh?" he laughed, grabbing her around the middle and spinning her in a circle.

She just giggled and let him, and when he set her back on her feet, Lissa tugged him in by the lapels of his jacket and kissed him until she grew dizzy and starved for air. "You're gonna stop trying to do everything yourself, right?" she asked, knowing full-well she was taking advantage of his dazed state.

Ed smirked at her. "Sure, Liss. And you're gonna stop jumping in front of danger for me?"

"We'll see." She rolled her eyes. "At least let me be with you, okay? When it starts to be too much, at least just…let me help."

He brushed his nose against hers and nodded. "Okay. I can do that."