I want to take a second to thank all the new commenters/readers I've gotten over the past few chapters - this has been a huge journey for me, to actually share something for the first time in years and years. Seeing a positive reaction to this story has means so much more than I can put into words. I've put my heart and soul into Lissa's story and all I can hope is that the path I take her on will continue to be enjoyable. So thank you, THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart. In line with that, a little surprise... It's a double-update! So stick around because I'll be posting both chapters one after another!


Lissa awoke to the feeling of a soft, sweet kiss on her forehead. She reached out—first to her right, where Ed should be, and then up when she realized he was out of bed. "What are you doing?" she asked him quietly, blinking her eyes open tiredly. She couldn't have been asleep long, she figured, after sitting up for several hours letting Ed pour his heart out. He'd been through hell, in the purest sense of the word, and it had taken so much out of him to retell that he'd fallen asleep there in her arms. She couldn't quite arrange why he was out of bed now, though.

He smoothed a piece of hair from her face and smiled. "I'm gonna give Lieutenant Hawkeye back her gun, that's all. You just stay and rest."

"Stay here alone?" she muttered, shaking her head. "No way. I'm coming with you." Stifling a yawn, Lissa pushed upright in bed and caught the lapel of Ed's jacket before he could step away too far. "Dummy. You really think I'd let you go anywhere by yourself right now?"

Ed smirked at her. "I guess not." He sat beside her as she swung her legs out of bed, and put his arm around her shoulders. "But I was wondering…if you're not going back to sleep, maybe you'd go see what's holding Al up. He hasn't come back yet and it's late, so I'm starting to get worried about him, honestly. It shouldn't take me long to run by the Lieutenant's, I wouldn't be away hardly at all."

"Al's at Dr. Knox's place," Lissa pointed out, leaning into his shoulder. She was still a bit fuzzy with sleep. "And you don't know where Riza lives, besides."

"You're gonna fall asleep before we get there," Ed teased lightly.

She turned her nose up. "I'll sleep on her sofa if I have to. You aren't going anywhere on your own right now. Do you think our little brother would be happy with me if I let you go, huh? He'd kick my ass for that."

Ed laughed softly and nodded. His arm tightened around her as he pulled her in, resting his forehead against hers, just…being close. "Our little brother. I like that. It's cute."

"It's also true," Lissa pointed out. "I mean, considering us being what we are."

He raised an eyebrow. "And what are we, exactly?"

She swatted at him and stood up, stretching her arms high over her head. "I'm way too tired to have that conversation, Ed. Call it what you like, I'm not gonna stop kissing you when I want."

"I hope you never do," he told her wryly.

Just to prove the point, Lissa turned and pressed him backwards into the mattress, muffling his surprised groan as she kissed him, her teeth closing down on his bottom lip and tugging, just for a moment. "Never," she told him, straightening and smirking down at him. His cheeks had flared bright red at her forwardness—and even though her heart was racing in her chest, Lissa found it in herself to settle atop his legs and lean down over him, resting her elbows to either side of his body. He swallowed reflexively, staring up at her with those beautiful golden eyes. She still remembered the very first moment she'd seen his eyes, that night in Resembool… When he'd been so small and afraid, before his automail, before their lives had become the chaotic mess they were today.

"Ed?" she whispered, brushing her nose against his.

He blinked, confused. "Wh-what is it?"

Lissa shifted where she knelt, flattened out and slid her arms beneath him so she could tuck herself in against his chest. "You remember the first time we met, right?"

"Of course," Ed murmured. He brought his arms around her and pulled her in tight. "I'd never forget that."

"You must have thought I was crazy," she mused, reflecting.

Ed gave a soft laugh, mostly just air rushing past his lips. "I thought you were brave, honestly. I could tell you were scared, but you had this…ferocity in you. And when Mustang tried to make you leave…"

"I still can't believe he let me stay."

"Who the hell would've told you no, Liss?" Ed stroked his fingers along her spine, his left hand, using his automail to keep her close. "When you get that determined about something… I remember thinking, y'know…that I couldn't understand why somebody I'd never even seen before then was so damn worried about me. I didn't know why I was worth it."

Lissa smiled against his shirt, recalling the moment, the first time she'd really stood against Mustang that way. "I just knew I couldn't watch you get hurt like that. I knew you'd suffered enough. And maybe some part of me just…knew there was more… That your soul was worth it."

He breathed in sharply, his chest tightening underneath her cheek. "Liss…"

"We should get going," she told him softly, sitting upright and then sliding off him. He didn't need to deny her claim, and she wasn't going to give him time to.

Ed gave her a soft, crooked smile like he knew what she was doing. "Okay," he agreed, and stood up beside her, threading the fingers of his left hand between hers. "We'll go drop that gun off with the Lieutenant and then find Al. Deal?"

"Deal."

Despite her best efforts, by the time they reached Riza's apartment Lissa was practically dead on her feet—she'd only slept maybe an hour, she'd learned, spending a couple hours just watching Ed sleep and reassuring herself he was real—so she curled up under a blanket and napped on the sofa, drifting in and out while Ed and Riza talked for a bit. She caught the highlights—Riza talked a lot about Ishval and the war there, which she would've liked to be a bit more…conscious for, but she caught enough.

Besides…it wasn't her first time hearing about it. Alex had, in one of his weaker moments, explained his own experiences there and the events which had led to him meeting her, in fact. He'd only been on guard at the facility as a sort of extended punishment for leaving the field in Ishval, for being unable to carry out his duty.

Lissa rather thought it made him a better person.

He refused it when she told him as much, but she never stopped thinking it. Everything she knew about the Ishvalan Civil War told her it was a horror campaign—and Riza's account only supported that. She knew her own path as a state alchemist might well place her in that same position…and Ed as well…but Lissa knew, deep in her heart, neither of them would be able to carry out those orders. Accepting that they could be asked to become human weapons was one thing. Becoming human weapons was another issue entirely.

She'd grown up around state alchemists, around that whole world, so it was maybe a little less…startling to her than it was to Edward. He'd seen the other side of the war, but to know the truth about the people around him, Mustang and Alex and all the others… She knew it had to hit somewhere deep in him, that this was the office he'd chosen.

This is why I hate the military, Ed. And now you know.

Because even with the Colonel's plans… Even with the intent to bring war crimes charges against those who were lauded as heroes in Ishval…

It didn't change what happened.

She drifted again, only to be awoken by the sound of her own name, that alone enough to pull her from the light sleep she'd fallen into.

"Lissa seems exhausted. You should get her back, Edward," Riza told him gently.

He sighed, weary. "I tried to get her to stay at the hotel, but…"

"She cares about you a lot. I'm glad you're watching each other's backs." A pause. "And I know you care about her a lot, too. Don't you?"

"Of course I do. But I just seem to bring her misery, whatever I do."

"I wouldn't say that. You didn't know her before, Edward—you didn't see what the rest of us saw. Lissa came to Central angry, hurt, and alone. I'd never seen a child so full of hatred. Plenty of us tried to get through to her—Major Armstrong managed, to an extent, and the Colonel nearly alienated her trying to guide her down the right path. But nobody affected her quite like you and Alphonse did. And you should know that. You should know that you two changed her life." Riza sighed softly, and Lissa heard her get up from the table. She kept her breathing still, listening, wondering what else she might say. "I don't really like to think where she might be without you."

Lissa clenched her teeth. She didn't either.

"But… Lieutenant…" Ed sounded so troubled. "Lissa's always been…so…kindhearted. What do you mean, full of hatred? She's not hateful at all."

"Not now, certainly. Did she ever tell you exactly how she was brought here?"

"No, she didn't. She said…that she was brought here because her alchemical abilities made her too much of a risk to leave in a normal foster home."

"The truth is, Lissa outed herself as an alchemist when she attacked the soldiers who were trying to bring her to safety. She rarely admits that much—but it's true. And she continued to struggle with those outbursts even here in Central, until the Major began training her and giving her an outlet for all her rage. We all knew she had a good heart…but she didn't show it very often."

"I didn't even know she'd trained so much with Major Armstrong," Ed admitted. "I knew she had some, but…"

"I don't want you to think less of her."

"I'd never."

"But I think it's important for you to understand the role you've had in her life—and to recognize that Lissandra…is aware of the darker side of our military. She grew up here. She was here when the state alchemists were still regaling all of us with tales of their…heroism in Ishval. Lissa is a sweet girl, you're right that she's kindhearted, but that's only become so prevalent because of you and Alphonse." Riza's voice sharpened. "Take care of her, Edward. She's put her heart into your hands, and no one else's."

"Lieutenant…" Lissa had to strain to hear him talk. "I swear to you, I'm going to take care of her. Lissa is… I don't even have a word for it, anymore… She's… A light in the darkness. Does that make sense?"

Lissa stifled a sudden burst of tears. Oh, Edward… You've got no idea… No idea at all… You are my light in the darkness, and you don't even know it…

"It does." A chair scraped back along the floor. "Talk to her about it, someday. When your lives have calmed down a bit. For now… Why don't you head back?"

She focused on composing herself, keeping her face carefully marshaled as Ed crossed to her and gently shook her awake. Lissa feigned that she'd been asleep, forced a yawn, played it off as though she hadn't heard anything… But she knew those words would sit with her forever. "Sorry I slept the whole time, Riza," she apologized, grinning sheepishly at the blonde.

Riza waved a hand. "Don't worry about it. I'll see you around, okay?"

Lissa took Ed's hand as she stood up, drawing close to him as they headed for the door. She didn't feel embarrassed in front of Riza. It wasn't as though this—they—were a secret, besides, especially not now that the homunculi knew.

"I'll let you two know if I hear anything new about all of this," Riza told them, as they stepped into the hall.

Ed turned back to her worriedly. "The Führer's basically hired you to be his hostage. Will you be all right?"

Riza tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Well, it's all in how you look at it, I guess. This close to him, it just means I'll have a better chance to kill him in his sleep."

Lissa smiled tightly. That was certainly Riza's style.

"You scare me," Ed admitted, grinning. He tugged on Lissa's hand to go—but then hesitated once more. "Oh, yeah. Pass this on for me. Tell the Colonel that Scar is back."

Riza inclined her head. "Sure thing, no problem."

His expression shifted, just minutely. "Oh, and… Lieutenant…"

"Yes? What is it?" Riza picked up Hayate and held him against her abdomen.

Ed's gaze sharpened, his eyes tightened at the corners, and his hand clenched down on Lissa's just a little harder. "I just want to say thanks…for telling me about Ishval."

They left after that, heading back onto the darkened streets. Lissa had a brief moment of…hope, for the future, a day when she could spend time with Ed like this without the whole damn world hanging over their shoulders. "So…Riza talked to you about Ishval," Lissa murmured, hating to break the moment—but reality was still looming in the background.

Ed nodded slowly. "Yeah. She…talked about a lot of it. I don't know how much you've heard before."

"More than anyone would give me credit for," Lissa muttered. "I used to spend all my time being trained by state alchemists… Starting right after the war in Ishval. Honestly, I grew up on those war stories, though I try not to think about it too hard." She traced her thumb across his knuckles absently. "I…I did hear some of what she told you, though. I knew most of it. I mean, it was hard not to. Everybody used to think I should feel so damn special that the Hero of Ishval took a special interest in me, and they liked to tell me why, too."

He glanced at her, seeming a bit…uncertain. "I didn't know it was like that for you."

"Well, I never said, did I?" Lissa sighed and shook her head. "I'm sorry. I feel like an ass—I knew your darkest secrets from the very first time we met, but…I've never really…talked about a lot of my past."

"You've never needed to," he told her gently. "You don't owe me any of it."

"And you're the biggest sweetheart ever for not asking. But…" She turned to him, pausing there in the middle of the street, and took both his hands in her own. Ed hadn't put gloves on since he'd gotten back, and his automail was cool against her palm, but she didn't flinch away. "Earlier you asked what we are. And I've been thinking, y'know… If I'm serious about this, serious about you, then I need to be completely open with you before I'd ever dare call you my boyfriend or anything. It's only fair."

Ed frowned at her. "Liss—no, that's not-"

"It is. And it's the only way I can feel right about this." Though it set her nerves twisting in her stomach, Lissa met his gaze and refused to look away, refused to back down from this certainty. "Because I am serious about you. And it's not… I'm not hiding anything bad, I've just…never learned to be completely comfortable with all of it."

He sighed and squeezed her hands, pulling her in closer, his gaze remaining gentle. "I won't make you. I know you, I know the kind of person you are and the things you've done for me—and for Al. That's enough for me. But if this is something you need to do, in order to make this work… Then I'll hear it without judgment. Because I'm serious about you, Lissa. Just know…that nothing is going to change how I feel about you. Okay?"

"Okay," she agreed softly. "Then…we should go find Al. He's your little brother and he deserves to hear all this too, since I'm calling him the same thing."

Ed smiled softly and nodded. "Right."

Unexpectedly, they ran into Al on the way back to the hotel—Ed was bursting with everything he'd learned about Ishval, so they settled on a nearby fountain and he told Al Riza's entire story, some of which Lissa had caught and some she hadn't. She helped tell the story where she could, filling in a gap or two that Riza hadn't touched on but she herself had picked up over the years. It would lead into her own story well later on, she figured.

Lissa was…anxious, even though what she'd told Ed was true. She wasn't hiding anything bad. But she was just…used to these things being buried deep inside herself, and no amount of trust would keep her from being afraid to open up.

But she needed to. More than that, she wanted to.

"That's terrible," Al murmured, when they'd finished the tale. "It's tough to even hear about Ishval."

Ed nodded wearily. "And she didn't hold back, even though I'm practically a kid."

Lissa couldn't help but smile, just a bit. He rarely admitted that much. "It's just how Riza is… I always go to her when I want somebody to be honest with me instead of babying me."

"I see why now." Ed's hand crept over to hers, his human fingers brushing atop hers just lightly. "They say an alchemist is one who seeks after the truth… And yet… I knew nothing about what had happened in Ishval."

Some of which is my fault.

"You think the Colonel's concerned about what happens after he gets what he wants?" Al wondered.

"I know I would be if I were him, y'know?" Ed sat forward, shoulders hunched, as he considered it. Lissa knew the worry—Mustang's ambitions were literally running him straight to prison, in truth. It was sort of…noble and stupid at the same time. "Hey, Al… What are you gonna do when you get your real body back? I mean…afterwards."

"Well, let's see…" Al looked up towards the night sky thoughtfully. "First thing, I really wanna eat some of Winry's apple pie."

Ed grinned at that one—it seemed to be Al's first priority, food-wise.

Then Al turned to him curiously. "And what about you?"

Lissa looked at Ed as well, wondering. He never talked about this, and never really let it sit on him too heavily. Most times she thought he wasn't even trying to get his own body back, but for the promise he made to Al.

To her surprise, though, Ed twisted his mouth up and genuinely gave it some thought. "Hm… I've been so busy trying to get our bodies back that I haven't even thought about what happens next." Brightening, he hopped up from the fountain and stretched his arms in front of him, palms out. "I guess the first thing, I'll make some courtesy calls, let Granny and our teacher know we're all right."

Al bobbed his head. "Yeah, of course. They've both helped us out so much." His eyes brightened just a bit, that little sign that he was genuinely feeling better. "And you know what? They'll be smiling when they see us. That'll be nice… Just to see them smile."

Ed's own lips quirked up at the corners. "Yeah," he agreed softly.

"Just so you know, Ed," Lissa began, smirking as she stood up, "I'll fight you for Al's first hug back in his real body. And I will win if I use my alchemy, so don't test me."

"Hey! That's so not fair, using your alchemy to win," Ed pouted, bumping her shoulder with his.

Al giggled at their antics, which was the point, really. "I know things are rough right now, but I'm starting to cheer up," he admitted, standing up beside Ed.

"That reminds me. I've found a trace of hope for us." Ed grinned up at him. "You know how our alchemy wouldn't work when we were under Central Command? Well, guess what? Liss and I found out today that it wasn't working aboveground either. Some local alchemists tried to fix the damage we left behind around the same time and couldn't do anything."

"But…" Al looked down at them both, confused. "What about Scar and that girl, Mei Chang? And your alchemy was doing something too, Lissa."

Ed nodded quickly. "That's just it. They were the only ones who could use it. Now, we don't know about Scar, though his alchemy seems pretty unique. However, we can be certain that girl—Mei Chang, you said?—was using alkahestry, or at least a Xingese version of alchemy. And when Liss and I talked earlier…after everything, it seems pretty likely that her alchemy has some Xingese background to it too."

"Well if that's the case… They really are doing something else. Something different with their alchemy we don't know about…" Al looked down thoughtfully.

"Which means we haven't hit a dead end yet," Ed told him encouragingly, grinning.

"Oh, Al, I almost forgot…" Lissa looked up at him, craning her neck to see his eyes from this close. "Did you get to ask Lan Fan or that little girl about what I said earlier?"

He nodded quickly. "Oh, yeah! Um, I learned that apparently I have a terrible Xingese accent, so…" Al rubbed the back of his helmet sheepishly. "But…we might wanna go back to the hotel before we…before we talk about all that."

Lissa felt Ed's fingers curl around hers. So he was worried, too. "Sure. We should be getting back anyway." There was no reason to press him—so Lissa just wrapped her arm around Ed's and headed back to the hotel with the boys, all chattering about nothing substantive… Just taking a little to enjoy being together as a team again. Being separated, even just for a night, was painfully difficult. She'd known on some level how much she relied on the boys, but experiencing that night without Edward, having to face the possibility that he might not come back… It made her much more aware just how badly she needed them in her life. Both of them.

Gauging Al's mood, Lissa waited until they'd all settled in at the hotel to even consider asking again. She got back into her pyjamas, and Ed did as well, both opting to sit on one bed together—innocently, though, considering Al was in the room. Ed reclined into the pillows, propped against the headboard, and Lissa sat against the wall beside him, legs draped over his.

"So…" She leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees. "Are you gonna tell me what I managed to say in Xingese, or do I have to guess?"

Al, who had taken a seat facing them on the sofa, shifted uncomfortably. "Um, well… I talked to Lan Fan about it… And first, she said the same thing you did—that Ling gave her a message about the Philosopher's Stone."

Ed nudged one knee into the back of Lissa's. "We know you got that right, at least. That's a start."

"But then, um…" Al looked away suddenly, finding the wall on the right much more interesting than meeting Lissa's gaze. "Well, like I said, apparently I'm no good at a Xingese accent… So it was kinda hard to figure out if you said actual words or not, but…" His armor clanked as he shifted again. "Eventually Lan Fan figured it out…"

Lissa breathed out slowly, trying to calm herself. She couldn't fathom why Al was so anxious about it—she couldn't possibly have said more than a handful of words, so it couldn't be that bad—but just the fact that she'd spoken Xingese was…unsettling. "And…what did I say?"

"W-well… Lan Fan told me…that you said…um…" He wrung his hands together. "She said you were asking your mother not to hurt you. But…a little kid's version."

She pressed her hands into her face. Of all the things she'd expected…of any possible translation she'd considered… Never, never had Lissa thought of that. A child's plea for her mother not to hurt her… It was…sickening, that somehow reading Xingese script had triggered some—some relapse or something in her mind, dragging out some horrific memory or instinct from…

From when? Before I came to Central? Is this like those memories, the nightmares I've been having?

"And she's…completely sure?" Ed whispered. He'd gripped down on her shoulder moments after Al finally admitted that—but Lissa could barely feel it. She could barely feel anything outside her own shock. "Lan Fan was certain that's what Lissa said?"

"She even said it back for me, and I…" Al's voice broke. "I know that's what I heard." His armor clanked as he got up and crossed to them, his gait unsteady. "I'm so sorry, Lissa, I didn't want to upset you… I'm sorry… I shouldn't-"

"It's not your fault," she told him softly. It took all her energy just to peel her hands off her face. "Thank you…for being honest with me." Lissa drew her knees to her chest, across Ed's legs, and rested her chin there as she considered everything spinning around in her head. There were so few ways to interpret that, the phrase that had come tumbling from her consciousness… And none of them were anything less than horrible.

What was hiding behind that barrier of memory? What the hell had she repressed?

"Is it…ever weird for you two, being friends with someone who barely knows where she comes from?" Lissa asked, still staring across the room.

"It's not weird," Ed asserted, his voice firm. "It's never weird."

"We just…like you for who you are, Lissa," Al added quietly.

"Exactly, that's what I told her earlier."

She swallowed hard. "Even though I know everything about you? Even the stuff you don't like to tell anybody?"

Al sat down beside the bed and brought himself eye level with her. "It's not like you pried into our lives. You found out everything right at the start—and you didn't think badly of us because of it, either. That very first night, you were so…so nice to us. How could we ever be upset that you know what we did when you never held it against us?"

"Because in three years—I guess four, technically—I've hardly told you guys anything about my life," Lissa murmured. "I mean…some of it, yeah, but… Not a lot. Not enough."

"What do you mean, not enough?" Al sounded so…perplexed. Honestly, it was kind of adorable how baffled he was. "What's going on, Lissa? You… You don't think that we're upset with you, right? You know we don't feel like you owe us anything…"

She nodded slowly, her chin bumping her knees. "I know, little brother. It's not like that. I just…" Lissa shut her eyes a moment, feeling as though Al was peering right down into her soul. "I dunno, I guess I'm just…at a point where I feel like I can talk about it. And it's weird, I've never really been comfortable with it, because it's…embarrassing. I'm embarrassed about how I was before I met you two. I was kind of a shitty kid."

"No way," Al protested, shaking his head. "We knew you as a kid."

Lissa peeked out at him. "Nuh-uh. Not when I was little. I was eleven when I met you, remember? But I came to Central when I was seven. I had four whole years of being a pain in everyone's ass before that."

Ed smirked and prodded at her shoulder with his forefinger. "That's hard to believe, y'know? Lieutenant Hawkeye said you were angry all the time, and I mean, I can see that, you have one hell of a temper… But you were seven. How much trouble could a seven-year-old be, huh?"

"How much trouble were you at seven, Ed?"

"…Okay, fair."

Lissa sighed and stretched her legs back out, trying to figure out how to approach it. "I was just…angry because I felt like my parents had left me behind somehow, and I blamed them for ending up where I did. I was the youngest kid in the whole facility, I didn't get along with anyone, and…it was just…bad."

Lissa bared her teeth as she shoved back onto her feet, spitting blood onto the concrete floor. "Don't touch me!" she snarled, raising her hands in front of her.

The blonde girl across from her smirked. "Why? What are you gonna do, cry on me?"

Rage built up in her chest—she threw her arms forward, her fingers curling, and that stupid girl went flying all the way across the dorm. Lissa didn't even care as one of the institution's alchemist guards ran over and shoved her sleeves back, exposing the transmutation circles she'd drawn onto her skin that morning, with the pen she'd stolen from her newest state alchemist handler.

"Where did you get the materials to do this?!" the guard demanded, holding her aloft by her arm and shaking her. "Answer me!"

She pursed her lips and refused to say a word. Nobody would touch her again. Not ever.

"You can't keep doing things like this."

Lissa kicked her feet underneath her chair, angry, still raging. She'd been forced to wear short sleeves for a week now, even though it was winter, because they didn't trust her not to draw transmutation circles on herself somehow—it was freezing, but she didn't care. It was worth it. Everybody in her block was afraid of her now, which meant nobody would hurt her again. That was all that mattered.

"Lissandra. I'm saying this for your own good. You need to stop acting out."

"Why do you care?" she snarled back, finally rising to the bait Lieutenant Colonel Mustang had been laying out for her. "You're like everyone else! You wanna make me like all the other stupid state alchemists!"

He glanced up from his paperwork, unbothered by her temper. Lissa had learned very quickly why the so-called Hero of Ishval wasn't afraid of her—she'd seen him snap his fingers once, just once, and recognized that he wouldn't be pushed into a corner like the low-level alchemists at the institution. Not that she hadn't considered trying. "Being like the other state alchemists wouldn't be a bad thing, you know. Your life would be much easier if you quit fighting it."

"I don't want to be here. Why does nobody care about that?" she demanded.

Mustang sighed wearily. "And where else would you be, Lissandra? At a massive, underfunded group home in the South Area? Shipped off to the north to be contained? Tell me, what would you prefer?"

"Anything but this!"

"I'm afraid that just isn't an option."

"Mustang tried to…corral me, I guess. But I wasn't having any of it. I kept being so…violent, all the time, no matter what he or anyone else did." Lissa tapped her fingers together, watching that motion instead of the boys' faces. "It sounds stupid now… But I thought maybe if I fought hard enough, they'd just…let me go. I didn't think about what I'd do after."

"You were upset," Ed reasoned, shaking his head. "You'd lost your parents and most of your memories. Nobody would know how to react in that situation."

She glanced sideways at him. "That still wasn't the way to react, though."

"But it was more than being upset… You were hurting, weren't you, Lissa?" Al was so…damned perceptive sometimes. "You were scared and alone…and lashing out was the only thing you could do to protect yourself. Because…you were afraid of being left behind again."

"I guess so," she mumbled. "If you aren't close to anybody, then they can't abandon you."

Ed tugged at the leg of her trousers until she looked at him fully. "Okay, but you clearly didn't just…keep fighting everyone. The Colonel never would've brought you to Resembool otherwise."

"Well… I did keep fighting." The memory brought a smile to her face. "Just…not in the same way."

She hadn't seen Major Armstrong in two whole months. Lissa thought he was the person she hated least in all of Amestris, at least now—so she'd thought it was a kind of punishment, never assigning her to him. But when she saw him, she wondered if maybe he'd been angry with her. That was actually kind of scary, the idea of the Major being angry. It was possible, with how he'd shown up and just dragged her out of the institution right after roll call.

"Where are we going, Major?" Lissa asked, struggling to keep up with his much longer strides.

He didn't so much as glance down at her. "You'll see."

Lissa huffed to herself and crossed her arms, frustrated but unable to really turn him down. He was too big for her to fight, and she hadn't gotten to draw any transmutation circles that morning, so she was stuck.

Eventually, he led her into a separate building on the military grounds, near Central HQ—it looked like any other stupid military building, but this one was deserted and didn't seem to have any offices. Lissa tried to get her bearings as they went deeper into the space, down hallway after hallway, until she was hopelessly lost. Was that the point? What if he was going to do something bad to her?

No, Major Armstrong wouldn't do that. Would he? She had gotten into a lot of trouble lately…

Finally, though, he pushed open a big door at the end of a hallway and guided her through. "It has come to my attention that you have a bit of a temper problem, Miss Caito. I am of the opinion you require an outlet for your aggression."

She stepped into the room and found herself gawking. It was an alchemist's practice room! With raw materials and tons of space and chalk for transmutation circles… She'd only read about gymnasiums like this one! "But—I thought I wasn't supposed to use my alchemy," Lissa pointed out, rounding on the Major as he followed her inside. "I got in trouble for fighting."

He inclined his head. "For fighting with your fellow trainees, yes. However…" He raised his eyebrows at her. "I am a fully-fledged state alchemist. You won't receive any punishment for training with me."

Lissa swallowed hard. He was scary… But… "Wait, so… I can use alchemy?"

"Naturally. How else would you learn to use it properly?"

Major Armstrong handed her a pen, and she took it almost reverently, stunned somebody had actually given her something to make transmutation circles with—the first time that had happened since she'd come to the facility. As she began to ink her regular circles all along her forearms, Lissa stepped further into the room and spun absently on the spot, feeling out the ambient air currents. "So what are we-" She yelped and ducked, flattening herself to the floor as a sharpened projectile came racing over her head, cutting through the air where she'd been only seconds ago. "Hey!" she shrieked, bouncing back to her feet and scowling at the Major. "What was that for?! I wasn't ready!"

He raised one of his fists, now covered in a sort of spike-knuckled metal plating, and gave her a sharp look. "That is no way to speak to your combat instructor, Miss Caito."

"It's Lissa," she insisted, glowering at him. "And I don't have a combat instructor. They won't let me, because I'm supposed to be too dangerous for anybody to go up against. Mr. Fletcher said I won't get to learn any combat until I'm ten."

The Major rammed a fist into the ground, and stones shot up from the floor—which he quickly turned into more spiked projectiles midair. "No? Then what do you suppose I am?"

Lissa squeaked and dodged again, the air around her lighting up as she ducked away from his attack. He was just as scary as she'd thought—but she didn't even think he was using his full abilities on her yet! She tucked into an awkward forward roll to get away from him, only to mess it up and land flat on her back, staring up at the ceiling. "Dammit," she mumbled.

He chuckled and hoisted her back up, pulling her several feet off the ground in the process. "It seems that although your alchemical skills are quite unique, and very strong, your technique is sorely lacking."

Irritated, she twisted her hands and compressed the air between them, knocking the Major back and taking up a fighting stance. "I'm stronger than anyone thinks!"

"Oh? Why don't you prove it, then?"

"I didn't realize you'd been training with Major Armstrong for that long," Al mused. "He's a little…overbearing, but that was a really nice thing for him to do."

Lissa bobbed her head. "He didn't have to do it, but he did anyway… I trained with him in a lot of basic combat, since after a while I stopped feeling like I had to use alchemy to prove myself. And it proved to the other state alchemists that I could handle some training, which was actually why I got to start going on actual missions instead of being trapped in the facility all the time. It was…a way to get all my anger out, and start channeling it into a sort of…goal, at least."

Ed gave her a thoughtful look. "And your goal was to get out, right?"

"At first…" Lissa smiled and leaned forward to rest a hand on both their heads. "Until you guys showed up. Mustang used to tell me I'd never be allowed to take my exams if my only reason for doing it was to get out of the facility. Meeting you two gave me an actual goal—to help you get your bodies back."

"So…" Ed grinned up at her, golden eyes alight. "You're saying that deciding to help us was what turned everything around?"

"But what about you, Lissa?" Al sat upright, something worried touching his voice. "What do you want to do? Brother and I were talking about what we'd do after we got our bodies back… So… What will you do afterwards?"

Lissa felt an unexpected pang deep in her chest. What would she do? "I guess…keep serving as a state alchemist," she admitted, shrugging. "Try to pay off my debt."

Ed and Al exchanged a pointed look—then Ed tugged his legs free and sat up on his knees, grabbing her shoulders tightly. "Okay, well… If you're so invested in us getting our bodies back…then we'll be just as invested in getting you free of the military. Right, Al?"

"Right!" Al chirped, nodding eagerly.

She reeled back, stunned. "I—you'll what?"

"Well, I get a yearly stipend from the military, yeah? To do whatever I want with it. It's supposed to be for research, but some of it is for personal use, too." Ed leaned back a bit and cast his gaze to the ceiling thoughtfully, while Lissa just stared at him, open-mouthed. "If I expense most of the food as essentials and we spend a little less time in hotels, maybe use the dorms or visit Resembool here and there… I don't have to keep pretending I'm getting food for Al, either, since the damn Führer knows about the blood seal…"

"Ed, wait, no…" Lissa tried, but he was too focused.

"There's also the money you were putting towards automail repairs," Al pointed out. "If you manage to break it a little less, that might help, y'know."

Ed waved a hand at him. "Yeah, yeah… But that's not a guarantee, we know I don't have the best track record with that… Though I bet Winry would give me a discount for a good cause…"

"And you could use the money from that one extra grant you got, remember?"

"Oh, yeah! I forgot all about that one."

"So that'd make-"

"Stop!" Lissa pressed her hands over her face and shook her head, forcing back a rush of tears. "You can't do that, you can't do that for me," she whispered.

Al's heavy hand rested on her back. "Why not, Lissa?"

"Yeah, you just told us your whole entire—like, purpose right now is helping us." Ed gently pulled her hands away from her face and smiled at her, so sweetly it almost broke her heart. "You're always telling me that it's okay to let somebody help you—so now it's your turn to let us help you, okay?"

She realized her hands were shaking when Edward tightened his fingers around hers and pulled her hands down against his legs, trying to still the tremors. "I—but I… You'd be practically stealing from the military, and-"

"And the military is basically holding you hostage," he shot back. "You deserve better, Liss. Why shouldn't we do everything we can to help?"

"Because I…" Because I'm supposed to help you. Because being held hostage by the military, even if it's technically by homunculi, is nothing compared to you losing your arm and leg, compared to Al losing his body… Because I have no right to ask anything from two boys who have suffered so much…

But they had always been so damned adamant she didn't need to pity them—no matter that she did, no matter how awful she felt for them… Ed and Al staunchly maintained that what had happened to them was their fault, and they refused to accept pity for it. The thought process was…stunningly mature, given how young they'd been when it happened… But even so, the thought of accepting what was essentially charity burned unpleasantly in her stomach. Least of all from Ed and Al, who in her mind had lost so, so much more than her.

"Look, it's all useless anyway if we can't get the best of these damned homunculi and fix everything," Ed pointed out softly. "But at least let us try, Liss. Because if we do manage it…then I couldn't bear for you to be trapped while Al and I have our lives together again. That's not fair."

"We'd want all our family to be able to celebrate together," Al told her, his voice so very gentle. "And that includes you."

Lissa sprang forward, overwhelmed, and grabbed Al in the best hug she could—but he wasn't expecting it, and the force of it bowled him right over. She found herself giggling, laughing through her tears as she extricated herself from the armor and sat there on the floor, with Ed peering down at them and grinning. "Okay," she agreed, rapping her knuckles on Al's chestplate. "You're right… If I wanna keep preaching to you two about accepting help, I guess I have to be willing to do the same myself."

"Exactly!" Ed slid down off the bed to join them on the floor, catching Lissa in his arms and ruffling her hair, despite her flailing and protests. "So if—when we come out the other side of this, then we can all do whatever the hell we want. Right?"

She smiled at both of them, completely astounded by the whole thing, and managed to nod. "Right," she agreed softly.

Lissa just hoped she'd be worth it, in the end.