Fun fact - this has one of my favourite little snippets in it. The beginning sequence, actually. And it's one of the first late-story scenes I conceptualised for Lissa's character, probably over two and a half years ago?! She's been lurking in my head a long, long time. I knew *some* of her backstory, and I knew this would happen. I scrapped a lot when I ended up writing it, but this bit stayed and so I hope you enjoy it! And...my fingers are crossed that I can have a semi-regular update schedule after this. Again, thank you for sticking with me. I promise, we'll see Lissa's story end!
The pocket watch landed on the counter with a dull thump, wood against metal. A bit peeved, the teller, Ayla, pushed her glasses higher on her nose and looked up from the paperwork she'd been doing, expecting some grumpy old state alchemist in a rush—only to recoil in surprise when she saw a young boy standing before her. He was only tall enough to stand head and shoulders above the counter, his expression frustrated, eyebrows furrowed deeply.
"Can I help you?" Ayla asked warily. She knew who he was…but the fact that he'd shown up here, in Giske of all places, without so much as a disguise…
The Fullmetal Alchemist tapped his finger atop the watch, impatient. "I need to make a withdrawal from my accounts," he told her. He reached into the pocket of his red cloak, exactly like the description she'd read, and slid a piece of paper across to sit beside the watch. "That's my account number and signature for confirmation, and the amount I need."
She took the paper and unfolded it, going through the motions. It was clearly Fullmetal—from the golden hair tied back in a braid, youthful face, and golden eyes, not to mention the pocket watch and his signature outfit… Confirming his identity was just red tape.
Once she'd gone through that, Ayla nodded and stood up from her chair. "One moment, sir. I'll be right back."
She stepped into the back of the bank, her steps quickening as she hurried to her supervisor's office. "Mr. Kotowski, the Fullmetal Alchemist is here," she breathed the moment she walked in, completely thrown by the situation. "What should we do?"
Mr. Kotowski stared up at her with narrowed eyes. "Exactly what the notice said, Miss Pierson. I'll notify the MPs. You find out what you can from the kid, and give him what he wants."
"But sir-"
"He's supposed to be violent if provoked," her supervisor pointed out. "Just do as the soldiers wanted. That's all we can do."
Ayla nodded reluctantly and left. A notice had gone out just a couple days prior—that the Fullmetal Alchemist was missing, and to contact the Amestrian military if he was sighted. His partner, a girl his own age known as the Starlight Alchemist, Lissa Caito, was nowhere to be seen, but both were listed as potentially dangerous. No civilian was to approach them. Instead the military was to be notified so the soldiers could handle the situation.
So, doing the only thing she could, Ayla retrieved Fullmetal's money and hurried back out front. The boy stood leaned against the counter, his back pressed into it, revealing a strange black symbol on the back of his cloak—a sort of cross, with a snake curving over it, beneath two wings and a crown. She had no idea what it meant. "I have your money, Mr. Elric," she told him as she sat back down.
He spun round and gave an impatient huff as she began to count it out—only to snatch the money off the counter the second it landed. "Great, thanks," he told her quickly.
Ayla watched, bewildered, as Fullmetal snagged back his pocket watch and stuffed it into the pocket of his pants, before heading right out the front doors. She saw him cross the street quickly and duck into the train station—a fact she could tell the MPs when they showed up.
—
Less than ten minutes later, Fullmetal boarded a train bound from Giske to Yectora, his second stop after leaving North City. He settled onto a bench facing the back of the train and crossed his arms, golden eyes sharp and alert. A good thing, too—he saw a few MPs board the train after him, some in uniform and a couple dressed in plainclothes. Thinking he could make it all the way to Yectora without getting spotted was stupid, but he'd wondered if the train would leave early enough to keep him from being followed.
Apparently not. Fine. I could use the exercise.
The plainclothes officers stepped into the same carriage he'd chosen, right around the middle, as the train pulled out of the station. So they were going to confront him here? Or were they just watching to make sure he didn't go anywhere?
Fullmetal let his gaze rake across the soldiers, letting them know he'd spotted them, but didn't move. Let them wait. They were stuck on this train now, after all, so he might as well rest for a minute. Nobody was going to jump off a speeding train, the tracks were pretty straight between Giske and Yectora so there wasn't even a good spot where the train might slow down. Nah, they wouldn't be worried about him leaving.
He watched through his bangs, sort of passively curious, as the soldiers slowly convinced the couple other passengers in the car to move further up the train. A few other passengers crossed through as well, giving him baffled sideways looks as they went.
So they're clearing it out… At least they got the civilians out of the way. I'm not in the mood to babysit anybody today.
They were a little over halfway to Yectora when the MPs finally made their move. Honestly, he'd expected a bit of a quicker reaction time, but he supposed they were being careful, since they didn't seem to have any alchemists on their team. That simplified things, at least.
Fullmetal bit back a groan as a gun was pointed in his face—not a pistol but an automatic rifle. So these guys weren't messing around. He sighed and looked up at the officer, one eyebrow raised. "Can I help you?"
"Just come quietly, Elric," the officer told him lowly. "We've got orders to bring you in. Don't make this any harder than it needs to be."
He eyed the officer a bit irritably. "I really don't like guns," he muttered.
"Mr. Elric-"
"Especially not pointed in my face." Fullmetal clapped his hands and pressed them against the gun—blue energy crackled around his hands as he transmuted the gun, warping the barrel and rendering it useless. He flipped backwards over the seat as another soldier opened fire, his red cloak drifting along with him as he landed on his feet and ducked down. Face contorted in a snarl, he clapped his hands again and slammed them against the floor of the train, transmuting the wood. It twisted and coiled upward, knocking the soldiers back with a newly-formed giant hand.
Fullmetal leapt to his feet and rushed past the soldier with the automatic weapon, kicking through the door at the back with the shin guard on his left calf, and jumping easily across to the next car back. One more clap of his hands and he warped the railing behind him to block the soldiers' path, before hurrying into the next car.
The last three cars were deserted—the perfect setup for his plans. But…
Dammit, this is too easy! They probably have soldiers right at the very end to catch me. If I go that way, they might actually shoot me. I don't know what their orders are.
He skidded to a halt halfway down the last car, turning on the spot as he tried to come up with a plan. The soldiers chasing him wouldn't take that long to get past the obstacles he'd left for them, so what could he do?
His golden-eyed gaze alighted on a vent in the ceiling, and Fullmetal grinned with all his teeth. Perfect.
—
Panting hard, the soldiers burst past the very back door on the train, only to see…nothing. Nobody but their own companions, who had been positioned at the end to wait for Fullmetal. The kid was supposed to run right into the trap. "Where the hell did he go?" the lead officer demanded, stalking back into the car angrily.
"I don't know, sir," one of his subordinates admitted. "Could he have jumped off?"
The officer frowned. "Out the side? No, it's too fast, even for an alchemist." He growled low in his throat. "Damn! We can't lose him, the folks at Central will have our asses for it!"
"Maybe he went onto the roof, sir!" another suggested.
"Of course!" The officer snapped his fingers. "He probably climbed onto the roof to sneak back in. Come on, get moving!" he barked, rushing back along the train with his men at his heels. He ducked into the next car, over a few transmuted obstacles Fullmetal had created in their path, anger contorting his face as he held his sidearm in front of him. This was his chance for a big promotion—he was not gonna get outsmarted by some little kid!
As the officer grabbed the door handle at the back of that car, he caught sight of something through the glass—a little blond kid in a red cloak grinning at him and clapping his hands together. He wrenched the door open quick as he could, only to feel the car jolt beneath him.
Edward Elric laughed openly as he lifted his hands from the connector between the cars—which he had just disconnected using alchemy. The officer yelled his anger and stepped onto the edge of the carriage, but it was too late, their cars were already slowing down while the kid was still attached to the rest of the train. "Damn you, Fullmetal!" the officer roared.
Fullmetal just grinned and stuck out his tongue, waving at them as they drew further and further away. "Enjoy your vacation!" he called. Then he turned and walked back into the train.
—
In Yectora, a girl with a red backpack and loose curly black hair stepped off the shortened train, amid the chaos of frantic soldiers darting every which way. Apparently the Fullmetal Alchemist had been on the train, and managed to evade capture by detaching the last two cars and leaving the soldiers tasked with apprehending him behind.
In all the craziness, the girl slipped off the platform and around the MPs, carefully avoiding their notice as she joined the throng of concerned civilians behind the ropes the military had set up. She stood a moment, watching, ensuring she hadn't been noticed, before she turned and headed away.
First, she needed to use the damn toilet. Some woman had gotten overwhelmed by the events on the train and spent the end of it crying in the lavatory, which she thought was just ridiculous, honestly. It wasn't like Fullmetal had gone anywhere near the civilians. All the fighting had happened in the last few cars, and it had barely been a fight, from what she heard. Alchemical fights should be more…destructive than that.
She finished up in the bathroom and stood for a moment staring at her reflection in the mirror. Her hair was tied up in a ponytail now, something she hadn't bothered to do before, and her face seemed a few shades too pale.
Granted, it had only been two days ago that Lissa had slammed her head into a wall so hard she'd required stitches, and fallen down a mineshaft shortly after.
Lissa sighed and tugged on a strand of her hair. Black wasn't her favorite, but it suited her better than Ed's signature golden-blond—at least in her opinion. She was glad to get the curls back too, no matter how irritating they might be.
Honestly, she didn't think she'd been so exhausted in all her life. The doctor in North City said she had a concussion, and had insisted she needed to take it slow, but she just didn't have time to do that. She'd taken a day, once they reached North City, and slept it off as much as she could… But the knowledge that Kimblee's soldiers could be on their asses at any minute kept her on edge. So Lissa had devised a plan.
She had left North City in this disguise—black-haired, dressed in a shorter navy blue coat and light pink sweater, trying to blend in as much as she could—and taken the train from there to Giske, one stop southwest. Giske was the only stop between North City and Yectora, which was a bigger hub than anything else nearby. From there, somebody could easily get to the West Area, and from there to Central or wherever else they wanted. It was essential she imply that, too, because in Giske she'd snuck into a men's restroom and altered her appearance again. Her own clothes ended up wrapped around her to bulk out the red cloak she'd transmuted herself, fur trimming and all, in order to hide the feminine curve of her body. She'd borrowed a few strands of Ed's hair as a blueprint to transmute her own hair into his color, first, and braided it with a red hair tie at the end. Then she'd used a couple thin plastic lenses over her eyes, cosmetic ones she'd transmuted as well, to change her eye color into that signature, unmistakable gold. The hand-clap alchemy was easy to feign, with a pair of white gloves and a couple extra transmutation circles drawn underneath. With her own pocket watch and an adopted lower voice pitch, Lissa cut a pretty decent Fullmetal Alchemist, in her opinion at least.
To get the military off their scent, she'd masqueraded as Edward and lain a false trail leading south, away from North City…where Ed still remained, unconscious and healing. Though it pained her, she'd left Darius and Heinkel to look after him. But thus far, the chimeras had kept their word, and it was vital the military think she and Ed were going south. There was nothing she could do about the Starlight Alchemist's conspicuous absence. Hopefully it'd seem like they split up for safety and Ed just didn't bother to hide himself.
Lissa adjusted the straps of her red backpack on her shoulders and steeled herself. The bag was transmuted from the cloak she'd made, actually, the best way she could think of to hide it on short notice. Even though it wasn't Ed's actual cloak, it still made her feel closer to him somehow.
Sighing, she left the bathroom behind and headed to the ticket desk for a ticket back to North City. The clerk was too busy watching the excitement over by the train she'd vacated to worry much about the young black-haired girl who had literally walked by a few minutes ago, so she got her ticket without any fuss and headed over to the platform. She only barely suppressed a savage kind of grin as she sat down, watching the MPs scramble.
I hope Kimblee scrambles like that. I hope that asshole sweats through his stupid suit, wondering if Ed and I are gonna come eat him alive.
The soul-deep rage that had become Lissa's constant companion over the past couple days reared its head again, and she had to fight it down. The chimeras had learned quickly not to so much as breathe Kimblee's name around her, for fear of setting her off. She hated him. More than she'd ever hated somebody in her entire life.
Because Kimblee had been one step away from killing the boy she loved. Lissa would never forgive that.
Her train pulled up to the platform, and Lissa hurried to get on with the handful of other passengers bound for North City. As was her habit now, she cast around with the Dragon's Pulse, searching for anything familiar, any threats, chimeras, whatever she could sense… But it was all people, just regular people and soldiers. Nothing of interest. So she was able to find a seat by the window and settle there, closing off just enough of her senses that she wasn't overwhelmed, and drew her knees to her chest. She'd be back in North City before dark, barring any delays.
That was good—even half a day away from Ed made her heart ache. Lissa would be glad to get back, even though he hadn't woken up, even though it wasn't at all the same… She'd take what she could get. Every day she woke up and he was still alive was enough.
It had to be, for now.
—
The sun was just setting as Lissa stepped back into the doctors' office, a nondescript apartment setup in the heart of North City. Darius looked up as she entered, giving her a weary sort of shake of his head. "Y'know, Lissa, the Fullmetal kid is probably gonna be pissed when he finds out the risks you took, doin' that today."
She shrugged out of her coat and hung it beside the door, meeting his gaze without flinching. "I'm fine, in case you were wondering. I didn't have any trouble."
Heinkel crossed from the window and folded his arms, a little sharper than Darius, as always. "You sure about that? We heard there was some kinda commotion down in Giske. Apparently the Fullmetal Alchemist detached a couple train cars to evade some MPs, and vanished before they reached Yectora."
Lissa raised an eyebrow. "Wow, he gets around a lot for someone who's still bedridden."
Softening just a bit, Heinkel asked her, "You okay? Sounded like a messy situation to me, when I heard it earlier."
"I'm fine," she told him, flicking a little black hair out of her eyes. She'd been forced to trim some of it around her face, unwilling to risk transmuting the length but still needing to match Ed's bangs all the same. She would have to do a little more work on it since it currently wanted to sit right across her eyes. "It was only messy for those soldiers. Nobody even got hurt, I just made them run a little."
"And you don't think Edward's gonna be angry about all this?" Darius pressed, still stuck on the issue.
Lissa rounded on him, her hands clenching at her sides. Blue energy crackled around her, accidental alchemy she hadn't struggled with since she was a kid, lifting her hair off her back as she snapped, "He's already angry after the stunt I pulled in Baschool. I might as well try and keep us safe since he's gonna be mad no matter what." The energy faded and Lissa wrapped her arms around herself, guilt gnawing at her abdomen. "Besides," she murmured, unable to meet the chimeras' eyes now, "I love him enough to do what I have to in order to keep him safe…even if it makes him hate me in the process."
Too overwhelmed to stay out there, Lissa turned and ducked into the back room, where she'd been spending most of her time there in North City. It was usually dark, but the doctor Darius and Heinkel had retained to look Ed was in there at the moment, checking Ed's temperature with a glass thermometer stuck in his mouth.
"Oh, there you are, Miss Caito," he greeted, giving her a smile. "Your boy's doing all right—his fever's down, and there's no signs of infection either. I'm hoping within a couple days his body will be healed enough for him to wake up."
Lissa nodded slowly as he moved aside, her gaze drawn inexorably to Edward. He was lying there in the bed, much too pale, with his hair loose around him and his breath coming in a soft, even pattern. He wasn't comatose, that much had been proven by the presence of his nightmares—horrible things that made him cry out in his sleep, shaking and sobbing and drenched in cold sweat, though he had yet to awaken. No, he was just…healing.
"May I check your stitches?" the doctor asked her. "Since I know you went…cavorting all around the North Area today."
She reluctantly sat down in the nearest chair and nodded, tugging her ponytail out so the doctor could poke and prod around at the couple stitches he'd put into her temple. The wound she'd sustained from Kimblee's explosion had given her a concussion and probably almost cracked her skull. She knew it was only so bad because of the Crimson Alchemist, not Ed, never… Ed had more control over his transmutations than to send a wall at her so hard it almost did that. The real worry was her lingering concussion, while the stitches were just a precaution, but all of it seemed so pathetic in the wake of Ed's injuries.
As the doctor parted her hair and checked on her stiches, Lissa kept her eyes fixated on Ed. He'd nearly died. That wasn't conjecture—it was just true. She'd almost lost him, and been completely powerless to do anything about it.
There was barely anything she could do for the moment…but Lissa kept recalling when she'd healed her own broken ribs beneath Central. Maybe with Mei Chang's help, she could learn healing alchemy, or proper alkahestry, and be able to look after Ed herself. If she'd been able to use alkahestry, then she might've been able to spare him all this suffering.
"Well, it looks fine to me," the doctor announced, standing back. "Your friends left dinner in the fridge for you—they're a bit grumpy, but they seem to care about you kids at least." He glanced around the room a bit worriedly. "You're always welcome to stay next door at the hotel, Miss Caito. We'd get you if anything changed with his condition."
Lissa shook her head. "Thank you, but I… I don't want to be that far away from him," she explained, yet again.
When the doctor stepped out, Lissa sucked up her pride and followed him to say goodnight to Darius and Heinkel, though she didn't apologize—she wasn't that strong yet—and grabbed the sandwich they'd left her out of the fridge before returning to Ed's bedside.
She settled down next to him, her right leg dangling off the side, and leaned back against the headboard with her plate on her abdomen. The position left her able to stroke her left hand along his hair, across his face, as though he could feel it and know she was there, while her right hand was occupied eating. Then she began the nightly ritual she couldn't shake, even though it felt…kind of silly and pathetic of her.
"I left North City today, Ed," she murmured, speaking as though he could hear her. "I realized… I think that's the first time you and I weren't actually in the same city in almost four years. It's weird, right?" She looked down at him and just soaked in the relief of being with him again for a moment. "I won't do it again… You'd be so angry if you knew what I did, you'd be such a dummy about it… But I'm looking out for you. Just like I promised Alphonse. And we're both suckers for our little brother, so you can't really fault me for it, can you?"
Lissa paused a moment to chew her bites slower, trying not to just stuff her face. "You really are a dummy, Edward Elric. Protecting me like that… I might've been able to get us both out, if you'd given me a chance." She sighed and smoothed her fingers through his hair, careful not to pull any tangles he might've gotten during the day. "You're lucky I love you so much."
Really, though, Lissa thought she was the lucky one.
"You should've seen me, though," she giggled, amused at the memory. "I made a pretty good Fullmetal, I did your voice and everything—though I think I sounded more like Al, honestly. Still, everybody believed me, so it had to be decent at least."
Ed shifted in his sleep and tilted closer to her, his face brushing her palm softly. He'd done it before, a couple times, and realistically she thought he was just seeking warmth. But it made her happy nonetheless, as though he knew she was there, still with him. She brushed her thumb across his cheekbone, then traced along the thin scar still visible on his forehead. That damn thing… It was from Number Forty-Eight, Ed's adversary underneath the Fifth Laboratory, a night that felt like a whole other life at this point.
Before Hughes died… Before Mustang's men were all scattered across the country… Before we got separated from Al… Before…before Ed nearly died…
Lissa cut off that thought. Her stomach had turned too much to finish eating, though she'd done okay in her opinion—eating was difficult right now, with how worried she was—so she set the plate aside and slid off the bed to get ready to sleep. She'd probably be up later on when Ed had a nightmare, so she needed to sleep when she could.
She stepped into the adjacent bathroom to brush out her hair and change into some comfortable clothes—in this case, a warm long-sleeved shirt and some loose trousers. She'd been forced to transmute a few new pieces since their clothes had been abandoned after everything that happened in Baschool. That was why she'd gotten money out earlier. Their tab was getting too big here, and hers and Ed's research accounts were their group's only source of income. So this way she could pay the doctors a bit, hand the chimeras some money, and still have enough for food and clothes. When this money ran out, they'd have another problem, but she'd worry about that later.
I can always pretend to be Ed again, Lissa reasoned as she stepped out of the bathroom. It'd give away our position, but…if we need money… Or maybe Darius or Heinkel can go. They could use my account, maybe it'll buy us more time.
She sighed and walked around the bed, to where her little pallet was. With Ed's injury, it was too much of a risk for her to share a bed with him until they could be certain pain would rouse him—so for the time being, she slept on a pallet right next to his bed, close enough to wake if he suffered a nightmare, or even just woke up finally.
Lissa leaned over and kissed him gently, once right on his lips and once on his forehead, before crawling down into her pallet to sleep.
It felt like she'd only been asleep a few minutes when it happened, though light was filtering in the window so it had to have been longer. Lissa shot upright to Ed panting, gasping in breath as he twisted beneath the sheets. Another nightmare, like she'd expected. She got up immediately and darted to the far side of the bed, sliding beneath the blankets and curling him into her. His breath hitched as she tucked his head into her chest, whispering soothing words and stroking his hair.
Slowly, his body settled into her, and Lissa allowed herself to relax a bit. He was okay… It was only a nightmare, one like all the others, one of the reasons she stayed—because he soothed with her there, and only with her there. Nobody else managed to calm him the first time it happened, not until Lissa took him into her arms and wrapped him up there did he actually settle down.
She didn't think she deserved that kind of trust…but it was there anyway. At least until he woke up and realized all the things she'd done, and hated her for it.
'Sometimes I think I just…make things so much harder on him,' she'd said to Al once. Lissa was starting to believe it again—starting to wonder if her involvement in Edward's life was…detrimental. If she screwed things up for him. Maybe he'd give up on her after all this, because she'd finally gone one step too far… Not just impersonating him, but the moment she'd added her own life force to his healing transmutation, at the bottom of the mineshaft in Baschool… He'd been furious.
But it was worth it. They'd shared the burden. And Lissa meant what she'd said to Darius earlier—she loved Ed enough to do whatever she had to do. She'd keep him safe even at the cost of her own heart.
—
North City was…kind of quaint, in a freezing sort of way. Lissa had strange feelings about being out in the city, considering it meant leaving Ed behind, but it was necessary if she wanted groceries and a little fresh air. Darius and Heinkel were around somewhere—she could sense their rotten fruit chimera feeling peripherally, with the Dragon's Pulse she never fully shut out nowadays—but they wouldn't approach her unless she reached out first.
Lissa had told them everything. Everything. The nationwide transmutation circle, Ed and Al's attempt at human transmutation, Father, the homunculi… Everything they'd told General Olivier Armstrong, she relayed to the chimeras.
With some extras, actually. She explained her extra sense, her grasp of the Dragon's Pulse, and rather shamefully admitted they felt like rotten fruit to her which made it…difficult to get along with them perfectly. Lissa hated it, but they weren't really angry with her. Just glad she'd been honest and maybe a bit grateful she could trust them even with that.
Honestly, they all had so few allies around…they'd take what she could get, she figured.
Lissa stuffed her hands into her pockets, her new black fingerless gloves not doing much against the chill. North City was marginally warmer than Briggs, but that didn't mean much. She had to constantly worry about frostbite if she wanted to keep her hands partially exposed, but she had to do it, in case of a sudden attack. Otherwise she risked being caught off guard, and without Ed or Al there to cover her back…
She gritted her teeth and headed into the market street, the thought of Alphonse enough to make her heart wrench in two. There hadn't been any news of him, not that she'd heard—she had no idea where her little brother was, and it wrecked her sometimes. Had he reached Winry and the others? Were they all right?
Hell, she'd even caught herself wondering if Scar was all right. And that was really messed up.
Lissa just wasn't used to this. She'd had her entire life planned out since she was seven—no real choices until she'd found the boys, and even then, it had been one decision she'd made. Not even a difficult one, either. She knew she wanted the Elric brothers in her life and she'd contrived to make that happen. Beyond that, though… Lissa hadn't really been in the position to make a lot of decisions on her own. But here, with Ed unconscious and the chimeras displaced…she found it was sort of falling to her to decide what to do.
Already Darius and Heinkel were asking her where she thought would be safe to go—she didn't know—what needed to happen in order to link back up with Al, Winry, and Mei's group—she didn't fucking know—and how to continue fighting against the homunculi—she really didn't fucking know!
Honestly, she was too reliant upon Ed making all the choices. He was always the most self-assured of the three, and it was easy for her and Al to just sit back and support him, to let him take the lead in everything. It was easier to be his support system than actually try and control anything. But right now, she was sort of…in control. Lissa could make any decision she wanted. The chimeras felt they owed her and Ed their lives, so they'd stick around and listen to whatever she said, would defer to her knowledge and trust her judgment…
The only problem was, Lissa didn't trust her own damn judgment.
She wasn't sure where the others would go. Even considering she knew Alphonse pretty well, there was no guarantee he'd be in charge of leading them—Scar and Dr. Marcoh were there too, both adults with their own sets of knowledge. It was possible one of them might have a better idea of where to go. Then there was the whole unknown factor of the research they were trying to decipher. If they'd managed that, it might lead them somewhere entirely different.
So then, the question became…where to go?
Not back to Central… Not to Briggs either. She trusted Major Miles and Buccaneer, any of General Armstrong's loyal team, but the fort had been invaded by Central forces and was definitely not a safe option. Going to Central was stepping right into the hornet's nest—and as long as she and Ed were presumed dead or at least missing, she didn't have to worry too hard about Alex's safety.
Besides, General Armstrong was recalled to Central. She knows he's a hostage, and she's close enough to help now.
She felt…so lost. Lissa didn't have a damn clue where to go from here, how to find the others, how to just…keep fighting back. The whole thing made her feel so small and pathetic. I couldn't save Ed, I couldn't protect us from Kimblee… I can't heal him, I can't come up with a plan… What the hell is the point of me?!
But whether or not Ed woke up soon…somebody had to figure out their next steps. Somebody had to fucking get their head on straight.
Lissa ducked into an alley and let out a long, slow breath to center herself. Okay. Fine. Winry was safe, Olivier was covering Alex. The homunculi were still working on Father's plan, trying to activate the nationwide transmutation circle—and there was no chance of going back to Briggs safely to prevent a crest of blood from being carved there. That much was obvious. Kimblee or someone else would step in and make it happen, one way or another, and it would be pure arrogance to assume she could go racing up there and stop it somehow.
So if Briggs was the last point…the circle would be completed. It was just a matter of time. The variables still in play were really just—when, and how, both of which were equally difficult to tackle, but had the same general direction. It all came back to obtaining more information about the homunculi's plans. Perhaps that notebook had the information, and honestly, it was their best bet at the moment.
Lissa toyed with the edges of her gloves as she considered that. So they had to rejoin Al and the others. That had to be their goal, unless something drastically changed before they managed it. All of this would lead them back to Central, inevitably, so…in the end, going at least near Central might be their best chance of tracking down the others. At least she might be able to get a message to Mustang or Riza and find out what they'd missed.
Damn… It's a risk, but going there is probably our best option. I don't like it, but everything's going to lead us back there in the end anyway.
She rested her head against the brick wall behind her and stared up at the grey sky. So it would be Central, then. At least nearby. If she'd been able to masquerade as Ed, surely she could disguise herself well enough to slip back in, at least briefly…
More risks. Ed's gonna be so pissed.
Lissa stepped back out of the alley and headed for the first shop she needed to hit on her errands. The quicker she finished this, the quicker she could get back to Ed, after all… It didn't matter how nice it was in North City. She wouldn't enjoy it much until she could enjoy it with him.
Four days. Four whole days he'd been asleep. Lissa was so damned scared for Ed—even though the doctors assured her this wasn't too abnormal, considering the injury he'd sustained, but that didn't make her feel much better about it. This was the longest she'd actually gone without him since he and Al had come to Central to be state alchemists, and it was teaching her that she really, really didn't cope well on her own.
Not that she was surprised…she'd hardly been on her own, ever. Just a lost little kid with parents who might've experimented on her, dragged to Central unknowingly by homunculi, to be part of their plans… The bright spot in her life had always been Edward and Alphonse, ever since she'd met them. But right now…she didn't have either one of her boys. She liked to think she was fairly independent, but she wasn't proving that to herself, not for a moment, and she was too damn hurt inside to even be embarrassed of it.
Though it was one thing to choose to be apart, or have a specific task… It was another thing to be forced into this situation.
Lissa shook herself off and went on with her errands, trying to push the gloominess away. It was stupid to dwell on it right now. She could worry about all of it later, when they didn't have homunculi looming over their heads and the entire country wasn't at risk. Her own issues paled in comparison to all that.
Keeping all the negativity carefully tucked away, Lissa managed to finish her shopping without incident, and returned to the doctors' office within a couple hours, laden with bags and freezing. "I think a storm's coming in," she announced, nudging the door shut behind her. "It was overcast the whole time and way colder than yesterday." The doctor was nowhere to be seen, in the back with Ed most likely, but his wife was in the kitchen when Lissa stepped inside to put her groceries away. "If you'd like, I can run back out before dark and grab anything else you two might need," she offered, smiling at the old woman. She reminded Lissa just a bit of Pinako, in some ways.
The woman waved her hand passively. "Oh, no, dear. We're quite all right. You should go see about your boy, though."
Lissa dropped one paper bag straight to the floor. "Is—is Ed all right?" she whispered.
The woman peered at her. "Go see for yourself."
She didn't need to be told again. Abandoning her groceries, Lissa turned and sprinted from the room, her heart racing, panic coiling through her chest. She shoved past the door into the back, ready to demand answers, but her words died on her lips.
"Ah, there you are," the doctor greeted brightly. "I was hoping you'd get back soon."
Lissa took one unsteady step into the room—and then pressed her hand to the wall, afraid her legs would give out.
He was…awake.
Ed sat propped up on a mountain of pillows, gold eyes blinking in shock as he stared at her, looking as though he didn't believe what he was seeing. "Liss?" he rasped—then he coughed, pressing a hand to his chest and folding in two.
"Easy now," the doctor counseled. "Take it slow, you've been out for over four days."
"Four days?" Ed repeated, frowning deeply. He peered up at Lissa, as if looking for confirmation, and wilted when he saw…whatever was written on her face.
Fear. I'm…afraid.
"How…how are you feeling?" Lissa asked softly. Her voice sounded…so distant to her ears, muffled behind the frantic thudding of her heartbeat. Ed was awake…he was okay… But she was so…scared to get near him now, just waiting for the inevitable explosion of rage.
Ed touched a hand to his side, near his wound, and cringed. "Not…the best. But I'll be fine." He made to push the blankets aside, but the doctor stopped him with a surprisingly firm hand.
"You aren't going anywhere just yet," he told Ed sternly. "You just park yourself right there and wait, understand me? I'm going to see about a little food for you, and you are going to stay in this bed. No arguments." He stood straight and glanced between Ed and Lissa a moment, then nodded in her direction. "I'll give you two a little time alone."
Lissa almost wanted to stop him from leaving—surely the yelling would start the moment he stepped out—but she didn't have any reason to keep him there. And soon she was left alone with Ed, just waiting for his anger to come searing through.
"Liss, I…" His face contorted, eyes screwing up in distress. "I'm so sorry."
Wait…what did he say?
She stared over at him, too pale and looking so small there in the bed, with his hair loose and hanging into his eyes… So vulnerable, like he expected her to yell at him.
Oh.
We're both so…stupid, aren't we?
Lissa crossed to him and settled on the edge of the bed, his eyes following her the whole time. "I…thought you'd be angry with me," she admitted, reaching out and taking his left hand from where it sat upon his abdomen, stroking her fingers along his palm, soothing him. She brought his hand to her lips and kissed the bruising on his knuckles, feather-soft, unsure where he'd gotten those injuries. It was difficult to keep track.
Ed's fingers tightened around hers. "I was. What you did…" His eyes flicked shut, brow furrowed deeply. "You used part of your life force too, didn't you? To help heal me."
She nodded slowly. "'Course I did. I'm not letting you handle things on your own, Ed."
"But I didn't want that for you," he told her softly. "Dammit, Lissa… I didn't want you to do that to yourself."
"I know. You tried to keep me out of it." Lissa released his hand, only to brush his hair back from his face, his eyes, finally getting to just…see him for a moment. For the first time since the incident in Baschool. "But that was our mistake. You got hurt for it because you protected me, but that doesn't make it any less our burden. I'm in this with you, okay? We both showed mercy and we both paid the price. I won't apologize for that."
The faintest smile curled the ends of his lips. "I wanna be angry with you… But… I was so fucking worried about you…"
"Me?" She scoffed at him. "Ed, you almost…" Lissa's breath caught, and she refused to speak the word. "You were hurt so much worse than me. I thought…I thought I might lose you, okay?" She winced as tears brimmed in her eyes, something she'd sworn she wouldn't do at him, not right after he woke up.
He swallowed visibly, looking so worried it about broke her heart. "Lissa…"
"Dummy," she shot back, sniffing away her tears and finding it in herself to smile. "You have to start worrying about yourself too. Didn't I tell you that?" Lissa scooted in as he opened his arms, let her eyes fall shut as she curled up into his chest, along his right side so she didn't agitate his wound, and just…fell into him. She'd been so scared since he was injured, so damned afraid…but he was here, Ed was alive and conscious and she was never letting him go again.
"I guess I'm still not very good at that, am I?" he muttered, pressing his face into her hair. "Is it all right if I just skip being angry and go straight to the part where we're okay again?"
Lissa laughed, despite herself, and sat upright enough to kiss his cheek. "Please. That sounds way better than having some stupid argument about it." She brushed his hair out of his face again, watching his gaze soften, and traced her thumb across his bottom lip, admiring him for a moment… Those beautiful golden eyes she loved so much, the quirk of his lips, the angle of his jawline… She loved every single detail about him.
His cheeks dusted pink under her gaze, and he shifted, uncertain where to look. "What?" he mumbled. "Do I have something on my face?"
She felt herself blush too, just from being caught staring. "No. I just…" Lissa huffed a sigh and ducked her face into his collarbone. "I missed you, okay? Am I not allowed to just…appreciate having you back?"
Ed pulled her in tighter. "Okay, okay, I'll give you that. I mean…" His voice dropped into an embarrassed mumble. "It's not like I wasn't doing the same thing…"
"Aw. Cute."
"Hey, shut up," he laughed, ruffling her hair. "By the way, I was wondering… Why the hell is your hair black now? It kinda makes you look like Lan Fan."
Lissa looked up to see he'd caught a strand of her hair between his fingers, and was twisting the curl this way and that, squinting at it like he could find the answers there. "I'm not trying to be Lan Fan, dummy. It's to disguise myself," she explained, shrugging. "I figured changing my hair color would help me blend in here. I already had to transmute it back anyway, after I…"
Oh, shit.
Ed raised an eyebrow. "After you what?"
She bit her lip and looked away, suddenly worried that his earlier assertion of skipping being angry might not hold. "Nothing. Anyway, you need to get kind of…caught up on our situation first, right? Since you've been asleep for four days."
He wrinkled his nose, but let her have it anyway. "Yeah. Where are we, anyway?"
"North City. Darius and Heinkel—the chimeras we saved in Baschool—brought us here and found a doctor who's willing to stay quiet, so that's where we've been." Lissa toyed with the collar of the shirt he was wearing as she spoke, the one she'd transmuted and changed him into herself when they got here.
"Huh." Ed gave her a curious look. "Is it…safe to stay this far north, though? We're still pretty close to Briggs up here."
Lissa averted her gaze, catching a loose thread on his shirt and twisting it between her fingers anxiously. "Well…yeah, I guess so. But we needed to get your wound looked at, and…" She swallowed hard. I have to tell him sometime. It'll only be worse if I put it off. "Well, I…went out and laid a false trail a couple days ago."
"A…false trail?" he repeated, blinking. "What do you mean?"
She winced and tugged at the thread harder. "You're gonna be mad at me. Even the chimeras knew it."
But Ed rested his hand on her cheek and tipped her head up, getting her to look at him. His gaze was open, eyes soft and expression gentle—yet resolute, full of absolute conviction. "No way, Liss. Not right now, I swear. After…after what happened, I just…" Ed sighed and pulled her in to kiss her forehead gently. "I don't wanna do that. I…can't be at odds with you right now. So just…talk to me, okay? Tell me what's going on."
Lissa trusted him—she really did, with every bit of her heart. And that, the honesty in his tone and trust mirrored in his own eyes, was enough. "Well, the military had a run-in with the Fullmetal Alchemist the other day, on a train going from Giske to Yectora."
"They what?!" Ed's jaw dropped, and Lissa winced, grimacing at the reaction. "Wait, how—but I was—no." He leaned back and stared at her with his eyes almost comically wide. "Holy shit. Are you saying you…pretended to be me?!"
"I did a pretty good job, I think," she muttered, wrinkling her nose.
He groaned and pressed a hand to his forehead. "I got impersonated by a girl. That's just…" Ed scrunched his nose. "How did you even pull that off?"
Lissa swatted his arm. "Hey, why's it insulting just cuz I'm a girl?"
"It's not! I'm just confused, okay? Seriously, how did you do that?" He shook his head wearily. "And why, Lissa? You had to know that'd make you a target, what even happened, did you…did you get caught or anything?"
She sat up from him and twisted her fingers together, unsure how to phrase it without upsetting him. "I just…transmuted my hair to your color, and I made some cosmetic lenses to wear… And I made a sort of…version of your cloak, too. Y'know, it's kind of frustrating to have to clap your hands every time you need to transmute something, does that ever bother you? Because I got tired of that fast. Anyway…" Lissa tugged at her ponytail uncomfortably. "I withdrew some money and sort of…went around as you, down in Giske, enough to get the MPs on me. They tried to go after me on the train to Yectora, but I ended up detaching the car they were on and leaving them behind. Then I just went back to this disguise-" She gestured at herself helpfully. "-and came back here. Easy."
"Easy," Ed repeated, passing a hand over his face. "Liss, they could've killed you. What would you have done if they got to you, huh? What—what were you thinking, taking a risk like that?"
She stood up from the bed and rounded on him, arms folded over her chest irritably. "What should I have done, then? Just sat here on my ass and waited for them to find us? You were unconscious, Ed. I did what I had to do to keep you safe. To keep all of us safe. I'm not an idiot, and I'm not weak just because I'm a girl or something. I had it handled." Lissa bit the inside of her cheek to keep a sudden wave of tears back. "Don't you trust me to know what I can handle?"
"What? Of course I…" But he cut himself off, looking troubled. "Oh. But it…doesn't sound like that, does it?" Ed grinned ruefully. "I do trust you, of course I do. That just…worries me, that's all, the idea of you going off alone and putting yourself at risk that way… I wanted to protect you in Baschool, and I just…put you in danger instead."
"You saved me," she told him softly, her arms falling to her sides. "You didn't even think that maybe I could save us…you just…put me ahead of you. I can't… Everything I did after that… It was nothing compared to what you did, Ed."
He stared up at her, his eyebrows furrowed, something…vulnerable in his eyes, the sheen of the gold startlingly bright. "I just…want to protect you. Like you always protect me and Al. And I feel like I failed at that. I honestly feel like I failed you, Lissa. And I…I can't stand it, I feel like I just…wasn't good enough for you."
Lissa felt like something had shattered inside her chest. She didn't realize she'd moved until she tumbled down onto the sheets, until she caught a glimpse of stunned amber-swirled golden eyes as she took Ed's face between her hands and kissed him, a desperate attempt to make him understand that he was more than good enough for her, that he hadn't failed at anything… All these things she didn't think she could put into words and really get him to believe her… So she did the next best thing.
His lips parted beneath hers, breath catching in his throat. Ed's hands slid around her waist, one warm and soft and one chilled metal, and pulled her into him like he needed to eliminate every single centimeter of space between them. She almost felt like she was drowning in him, but in the best way possible, every bit of her heart and soul given over to him without a trace of hesitation. Lissa was his…but she knew somehow that Ed was hers too, in the same way. She could never let him go, she'd never let him be ripped from her, not this beautiful golden boy who'd trusted her with his own heart… Whatever it took, Lissa would protect him.
"That's not possible," she whispered, pulling back just barely far enough to speak. "I don't want to hear you say that again, not ever… My life is…infinitely better because of you. It really is. And you… You didn't fail. You saved me, and you nearly lost your own life in the process. All I did afterwards was buy you time to heal, okay? So just…" Lissa tilted in and rested her forehead against his, letting her eyes fall shut for a moment. "Don't say that. Never again."
Ed smiled softly and rested his left hand along her face, tracing gentle lines with his thumb. "I'll try, okay? For you."
"You better." Lissa dropped another kiss onto his mouth, quicker this time, and pushed back to her feet. "I'll go hunt down the doctor, see about that food he promised… And maybe tomorrow we can see about getting you out of bed."
He smirked at her. "What, I'm not allowed up?"
Lissa crossed her arms and gave him her firmest look. "Unless you need to use the bathroom, nope. Your ass is glued to that bed until we say. But," she added, softening, "I've been staying here, so you won't be alone. I can catch you up a little better on everything you missed."
"Fine, fine, I'll stay in bed. For now," he consented, rolling his eyes.
"Good. You'd better listen or-" Lissa paused, the familiar sense of rotten fruit rolling across her neck and shoulders. "I think Darius is here, probably to check in or something. I don't know, they're always in and out of here…"
Ed gave her a bewildered look. "How'd you know that?"
"Oh, I'm…working on sensing the Dragon's Pulse better." Lissa grimaced and raked a hand through her hair. "If I'd been a little better with it, maybe I would've sensed Kimblee's other Philosopher's Stone. So it's my personal mission now. The chimeras are easy to pick up, they're pretty distinctive."
He huffed at her, seeming a bit exasperated. "Do not blame yourself for that, Liss." He shuffled back into the pillows, crossing his arms, and added, "I'm surprised the chimeras stayed. I kind of thought they'd drop us off here and bail."
Lissa shrugged that off. "We're all kind of allies now. It's weird." She flashed him a smile. "Anyway, let me grab some food and I'll come fill you in. Okay?"
That made Ed smile in return, a bit hesitantly but still warmly. "Okay. You better come back soon."
"Five minutes at the most. I promise." Lissa blew him a kiss, making him laugh and turn bright red, before bouncing out of the room to go find him something to eat. Now that Ed was awake, they could focus on the next step—getting him healthy. And that could be a real fight, she knew. The doctor had warned her as much. Still, she was ready to do whatever it took. She had her boyfriend back—now she just needed to make sure he got back on his feet.
