Star Wars Fanfiction For Dummies

aka

The Emperor's New Clothes

By BlueMew

This is purely a work of humor. Any parallels or references to other works are intentional, and will be sited as necessary. This is a tribute to a work of a different fandom, written by TheHelldragon.

I will mimic his style, but not his words/ideas. Some ideas are similar, as there are things like Mary Sues and Godlike Characters in EVERY fandom.

I do not own anything that is familiar. It is rated PG to PG-13, just like the films.

"Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR."-Mark Twain

The good writer begins his/her work with a sound introduction; grabbing the reader's attention and introducing the main characters in a plausible manner.

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"I assure you, your most royal highness," the younger man bowed to the wizened ruler of the galaxy, "that a biography of your entire life and rise to power would be one of the most beloved books ever written. I promise you that the Rebellion will end when you show the galaxy of your benevolence and good will toward all, and this biography would be the showcase of your greatness."

Palpatine's yellowed fingernails grated the throne he sat upon in his castle on Imperial Center. "Public opinion does not concern me, nor does the pitiful Rebellion. I have warlords willing to fight and die for my commands. Worlds live and die on my whim.

"Appeasing the public does not appeal to me."

"But your highness,"

"My Master has spoken, Tenerl D'nol. You will leave immediately." Darth Vader moved from Palpatine's side, raising his hand as if to Force Choke the writer, his other hand pulling the crimson-bladed lightsaber from his belt, igniting it as his hand came to the en guarde position. But instead of doing as he would please, Lord Vader looked to his master, his eyes widening behind his mask.

Upon pulling his lightsaber from its place at his site, Lord Vader managed to slice the Emperor's robes in two, leaving the elderly man's chest bare.

"I, uhh… I'll be leaving, your highness." D'nol bowed. "Lord Vader." He exited the throne room, his eyes not leaving the spectacle of the half-clad Palpatine.

"Master, I am terribly sorry."

"As you should be, Lord Vader." Palpatine pulled the piece of cloth around his waist as he stood from his throne. "This was my last good set of robes. Now, I must wear something from the Clone Wars era so I do not make a fool of myself."

Vader's breath hissed from his respirator as he watched the older man walk toward the back of the throne room, undoubtedly heading to one of the many secret passageways inside the castle.

"A word, Master?"

"Speak, Lord Vader."

"Perhaps you could run a competition between the Admirals to fetch you the latest styles," He looked down at the cloth around Palpatine's waist. "Or whatever it is you wish to wear."

Yellow eyes, narrowed, but then twinkled as the Emperor smiled, gnarled, yellow teeth showing between his lips.

"Finally you have a good idea, Lord Vader."

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So, is wrong with this chapter?

Darth Vader enters from out of nowhere.

There is no way Vader could have cut Palpatine's robes off without cutting his arms off if his hands were on the arm rests of the throne.

Tenerl D'nol is a horrible character.

If you answered c.) Tenerl D'nol is a horrible character, you're right! He's just going to get more snively and utterly pitiful as the events progress- IF HE COMES BACK!

Stay tuned for the next chapter of Star Wars Fanfiction For Dummies: EU, AU, It's All The Same