Star Wars Fanfiction For Dummies

Chapter 2

EU, AU; It's All The Same

By BlueMew

"Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR."-Mark Twain

In a universe as complex as Star Wars, the good author knows how to keep events in their correct places in canon, not creating a need for alternate universes/timelines.

----------------------------------------------------------

"Sir, I'm receiving a transmission from Imperial Center." The communications officer on the bridge of the Death Star stated to Grand Moff Tarkin, who was currently in his quarters after a rousing match of shockball. "Shall I patch it through now, sir?"

Tarkin, who despite stepping from the 'fresher only moments earlier, was now dressed in his full olive-drab uniform, staring at the Communications Officer through the holoscreen. "Do so at once. Tarkin, out."

The officer did not acknowledge the command, only obeyed the Moff's words, to which a larger-than-life bust of the Emperor stared out from the holoprojection table. Tarkin had to bite his lip to control his want to laugh; instead of the normally cowled image everyone in the galaxy had grown to fear, Palpatine was wearing a purple robe with embroidered red flowers upon the collar. Of course, it had to be something from Naboo's old styles, but to see the wrinkled face of the Emperor with such hideously tacky clothing would be more than enough to cause most of the Admirals and Moffs to chuckle.

"My most impressive Imperial Fleet. I have recently discovered the location of a Sith holocron on the world of Crustai. I have no idea why a Sith holocron would be in Chiss space, but instead of making the logical choice and sending Grand Admiral Thrawn home to retrieve it, I have decided to make a competition for the entire galaxy.

"Whoever brings me the Sith holocron, which contains the patterns for proper Sith appointments, will not only receive a brand new Super Star Destroyer, but will be named King of Alderaan, and be given all the perks that ensue from being the King of Alderaan.

"I have not included coordinates to Crustai, or to Ascendancy space. That is part of the fun of this competition."

The image flickered out, leaving Tarkin to stand alone in the glow of the holoprojector's light. So the Emperor was raising morale by giving all humans in his fleet a challenge. The alien, no matter that he was more familiar with where they would all be heading, would be of no concern. Why would he want to be King of Alderaan?

Tarkin pressed a button on his desk, opening a comm channel with the Gorgon, and almost immediately, Admiral Daala appeared on the screen.

"Have you watched the message from Imperial Center yet?"

"Of course, sir." Daala smiled coyly at the Moff that had engineered her rise in rank. "It is unfortunate that His Beloved Highness has given the alien the advantage in this case. I plan on tracking and then vapeing his ship, after I convince him to give me the holocron."

"I was thinking much along the same lines, Admiral. Perhaps we should work together again, for with a Star Destroyer and a Death Star, we should be invincible."

"Agreed. Let's jump to Tatooine, and from there figure out how to get to this Crustai system."

------------------------------------------

"WHAT!" Princess Leia Organa screamed at General Dodonna after he recounted the message that the Emperor had sent out to the entire Imperial fleet. "He CAN'T just appoint a new King of Alderaan! That is my father's job!"

"I can only report what I have heard myself, Princess." Jan sighed, giving her a look. "Besides, it would only be Bail that lost his title. Queen Breha and yourself would just take another man as King, and nothing would be any different."

Leia was crestfallen. How could the Emperor do this to her family? But instead of sinking in to a deep well of depression, she smirked, a plan forming with each passing moment.

"General, if I can find a fast ship, do you think it would be possible for me to locate this Crustai system? I could then bring a Super Star Destroyer in to the services of the Rebellion, and Alderaan's political structure would not have to change."

Dodonna smiled. "Good, Leia. I'll have Rogue Squadron escort you to Tatooine. I'm sure you can find some Jedi help there, as well as a very fast ship, and possibly coordinates to this Crustai system.

"Thank you, General. I'll be back as soon as I am victorious."

-------------------------------------------------

The blue-skinned Chiss Grand Admiral sat aboard the Chaemera, glowing eyes narrowed as he watched the Emperor's transmission for the fifth time in the past ten minutes. His confidence had been betrayed, and as soon as the other Imperials learned of the Chiss, he was certain his entire people would be enslaved.

He couldn't have that.

But then again, all it seemed was that the Emperor just wanted new robes. He pressed a button on the Admiral's chair in his quarters as the Ysalimir above his head yawned, waiting for Pellaeon's acknowledgement.

"Yes, Admiral?"

"Call my tailor and have her make robes similar to that which the Emperor always wears. Use rough fabric, but make sure it is acquired from Naboo. After that is done, set a course to Crustai with the coordinates I will send you. Have the ship's log wiped so that no one else learns of path to Ascendancy space."

"Sir, I hate to interrupt, but we will need to refuel before heading out so far into the Unknown Regions. May I suggest a stop at Tatooine?"

"Captain Pellaeon, no. We will not stop at Tatooine. You can plot a course for anywhere BUT Tatooine. I feel that the rest of the fleet will use it as a staging ground to plot their next jump farther in to the unknown."

"As you wish, Admiral. Setting a course for Mustafar."

So what was wrong with this chapter?

The rank of Grand Admiral was not created until after the Battle of Yavin.

Thrawn was not aboard the Chaemera until 8-9 years after the Battle of Yavin.

Leia whines too much.

If you answered c.) Leia whines too much, you are correct! She doesn't know she's a Skywalker yet, so there is no reason for her to be such a whiny emo kid.

Stay tuned for Star Wars Fanfiction For Dummies, Chapter 3: Mary Sue? No, Mara Jade.