Where Am I Going To?
Part One
Chapter Ten
The ship was bouncing out of control, and C-3PO slammed painfully against the wall. Not that he could feel it, he was a droid. Luke, however, managed to remain stationary, and only once had to grab onto something for supporter. Another advantage of his excellent sense of balance. Just another one of those things that happened, he guessed. He briefly remembered the scene just a month, maybe a month and a half before, when their Star Destroyer had been fired upon. He could still remember the conversation he had had with his father…..And in a way, he almost missed him.
However, the interruption of his lesson would not be borne, and he was quite determined that it was Han's fault in some way, shape or form. After all, everything was the fault of people like Han in some way, shape or form. They constantly caused trouble. Padawan Skywalker snarled as he switched off his lightsaber, and stormed into the cockpit, where both pilot and co-pilot were trying to asses what the hell had just happened.
"What's going on?" he demanded, shifting his weight as the rickety Millennium Falcon rocked again.
Solo glanced at the boy, and seemed to pay no more attention than that. But, he finally did respond with "Our position is correct, except….No Alderaan!"
Obi Wan had just entered the cockpit when this fatal sentence was said. Luke's eyes had tripled in size, his breath had caught in his throat. They couldn't just….it was impossible that….
"What do you mean? Where is it?" he asked, quite a bit more feebly, his voice cracking.
"That's what I'm trying to tell ya, kid. It's been completely blown away!" Captain Solo grunted as lights started flashing and a few sirens went off. The smuggler made them disappear by punching a few buttons, smoothing whatever damage had occurred over. "But how?" the pirate asked himself somewhat softly.
"Destroyed," Luke chocked, leaning against the door.
"By the Empire," finished Kenobi.
Han wheeled in angry confusion on the pair. "The entire star fleet couldn't destroy a planet. It would take a thousand ships with more fire power than I-"
A look in Luke's eye stopped Solo short. He glanced at the old man, who had a slightly pained expression on his face. Captain Solo rose from his seat and angrily demanded "What the hell is going on?"
Before either master or apprentice could answer, the Wookie had rumbled, and the pirate had collapsed back into the chair, punching buttons. A TIE fighter had just zipped past the window, and Luke's already wide eyes grew even wider.
"There's another ship coming in," mumbled the smuggler, releasing Luke of a painful and awkward explanation. He was still reluctant to tell the smuggler anything. Was it because he felt he'd be looked down upon? Why? And why on earth was he looking for the smuggler's approval? "There aren't any bases around here…Where did it come from. Chewie, jam its transmissions."
"It'd be as well to let it go," advised the Jedi while Luke watched in stunned curiosity. "It's too far out."
"Not for long."
"A fighter that size couldn't have gotten this deep into space on it's own," Luke finally protested. "It must have gotten lost, been part of a convoy, or…." Luke really didn't want to finish that sentence. He didn't want to find out what "or," referred to. It was too terrible a thought, it was too horrendous a memory. After so much work at pushing the memories down, why, why did they resurface?
"Well, he ain't gonna be around long enough to tell anyone about us," replied Han, not noticing the nervous note in Luke's voice as he pushed the throttle. The ship sped up a little, gaining just a bit of ground on the enemy ship. "Look at him, he's headed for that small moon. I think I can get him before he gets there….He's almost in range."
The old Jedi leaned over the pilot's seat and stared while Luke shrank even farther back against the door. "That's no moon….."
Don't say it…please don't say it….It can't be…It's not possible….it didn't happen….
"It's a space station."
"It's too big to be a-"
Solo was cut short as Luke suddenly fled from the cockpit, as if he could look for some place to hide. Terror and adrenaline were pumping in his veins as thoughts and protests and instincts screamed in his head. And memories! Oh, Force, so many memories! He thought he was going to be sick, and there was no where to run to, no where to hide. He couldn't escape something that was inside of him. He never would. Was it always going to be like this? Why? Why?
"What's gotten into him?" Captain Solo demanded.
Obi Wan did not respond as he chased after his charge. "Luke? Luke!"
Captain Solo glanced at his co-pilot, who gave a grumbly growl. "The sooner we're done with this, the better, Chewie," he sighed, rubbing his face with his hands. "Hold up, this is going to be a bit of a bumpy ride."
Luke hadn't gone far, but he'd pressed his back against a wall, trying to calm his breathing. It wasn't helping. Nothing helped. Nothing ever helped. Above all else was the sense that there had to be a way to get out of here. He just couldn't go back on board the Death Star. The idea sent shivers down his spine. Memory after memory would attack him there, and would try to weaken his resolve. He didn't want to be a Lord of the Sith, but how could he resist when every where he turned he was being pulled in that direction? Master Obi Wan said his fate was to be a Jedi? Why, by the Force, then, couldn't he just be a Jedi and get it over with!
"I'm not going in there, Master. There's no way, I can't, I-"
The ship shuddered, and Luke's breathing grew more erratic. They were caught in the tractor beam. Oh, God, they were caught in the tractor beam. No choice now. No where to run, no where to hide. Caught. The net grew ever tighter, the quarry was as good as dead. The hunter drew near with his pack of hounds, and the club that would be the finishing blow, the club that would kill the prey and end the chase. His chances at being a Jedi – shattered. His master – likely to be executed. His punishment for desertion – severe. Always sever. There wasn't any other kind of punishment but severe. He could feel the Force Lighting, and his trembling increased. He could feel the burning, could see himself gasping for breath and writhing like a pitiful wretch at the emperor's feet, begging, and pleading for mercy. Any onlookers would be cold and unpitying. Luke might even die. Oh, God, he might even die…..He huddled farther against the wall, making his already slim figure smaller.
Kenobi put a hand on Luke's shoulder, and Luke felt his eyes drawn to that of his master's.
"I promise, I won't let anything happen to you. I'll always promise. I'll always be here."
"Can I believe that?"
"You have to trust me. Do you trust me?"
"I trust you, Master Obi Wan. I always have. I always will."
"I will never reject you."
"And I will never forsake you."
The grip on the shoulder tightened in the unspoken bonds of love, bonds as strong as steel. Tears sprang into Luke's eyes and he asked "They…they destroyed Alderaan, didn't they?"
The old man nodded slowly. "Yes, they destroyed Alderaan."
"My father did
that."
"Yes, he did."
"Leia's home planet…."
The Jedi raised an eyebrow. "You mean Princess Organa?"
"She's going to hate me now!"
"Luke, what are you talking about?"
Luke just shook his head. It wasn't worth the effort explaining. She's going to hate me….She'll never forgive me…Damn it, Father, how am I ever going to convince her to marry me if you keep on blowing up planets?
Luke still wanted to marry her. He loved her. And he was still convinced that there was still some way that she might ever possibly love him back. But not if she thought he was partially responsible for the death of her home planet and her entire family.
"Don't make me go on board the Death Star. Please, Master Obi Wan," Luke finally switched back to his original thought.
"We'll see what we can do. Sometimes being brave means going on, in spite of your fear."
"I…..I don't want to see my father….I don't want to go back."
"You won't go back, I promise, you won't go back. I won't let him take you away again, Luke. You're safe. That's a promise, and that's forever."
Luke nodded slowly, and took a deep breath, calming himself. It was just in time for the pirate to come storming down the hall. "If either of you hot shots have any ideas on how to get me out of this mess, they'd greatly be appreciated. We have to cut to auxiliary power. I can't take on a fully loaded battle station. We'll be blasted to bits."
Luke and the Jedi locked eyes for a moment. "Think you can handle this?" his master asked.
"I can take it. I'm stronger than you think, remember, Master Obi Wan? I can handle life's knocks."
The old Jedi grinned, and took his hand from off the boy's shoulder. Turning to the smuggler, he said "I've got a bit of an idea."
To Be Continued…
xInuyashaxangelx: Let's just say….not good.
Schnickledooger: Well, here's the Death Star, as asked for.
TorontoBatFan: Another peg on the head for the relationship between Luke and Han and between Luke and Obi. As for when Luke will give his father a chance again….It'll be a while. A long while. He's been hurt badly, and it's hard for him to accept that. As for anything happening to Obi Wan, that's not a bad assessment of Luke's mental state, either.
Joy4eva: Glad you liked it. Hope you'll read more. Reviews have been dropping off a lot lately – sniff – It makes me a bit sad.
