Where Am I Going To?
Part One
Chapter Eleven
The sound of boots clanked above them, and Luke pressed his back firmly to the wall. His eyes were closed, and his teeth were clenched in a desperate grimace as he sweated and prayed. His concentration was everything at that moment and he had to work harder than he ever had to keep his presence a secret.
Don't move…don't breath…Oh, Force, please don't let him find me in here.
The boots died away, and after several tense moments, Han lifted the metal plate, and the fugitives began to climb out of the smuggling cargo hold. Only now daring to breath, Luke threw himself across the smooth floor and clawed his way out of the cargo hold, trying to regulate his breathing and remain calm. He knew that Solo was watching him oddly, so Padawan Skywalker broke the nervous silence with a tense whisper: "Boy, it sure is a good thing you have these compartments."
"I use them for smuggling," replied Captain Solo as he brushed dirt from off his sleeve. "But I never thought I'd be using them to smuggle myself." He cursed as the Wookie's head popped up and it growled curiously. "This is ridiculous. Even if I could take off, I'd never get past that tractor beam."
Obi Wan had climbed out of the compartment and was busily making sure his charge wasn't going to have a mental break down. "Leave that to me," he assured, and both young men stared at him.
"Damn fool," snarled the pirate. "I knew you'd say that."
"Who's the more foolish? The fool, or the fool who follows him?"
The smuggler and the boy locked eyes for a moment, and the young Jedi wore the fierce expression of "If Master Obi Wan says he can do it, he can do it."
…
"There's no one on board, sir. According to the log, the crew abandoned ship right after take off. It must be a decoy, sir. Several of the escape pods have been jettisoned."
Darth Vader paced the perimeter of the ship like a tiger on a chain. Something didn't feel right about it. What was it doing in the ruins of Alderaan? Why wasn't there anyone on board? Was it a signal? For who? The princess?
"Did you find any droids?" he finally responded, trying to sort through the mixed signals he was getting.
"No, sir. If there were any on board, they must have also been jettisoned."
"Send a scanning crew aboard, I want every part of this ship checked."
"Yes, sir."
"I sense something…A presence I have not…." He didn't finish. He just shook his head and stalked off, his cape swishing behind him.
The last time he'd felt the presence of Kenobi had been when the old man had been kidnapping Vader's son seventeen years ago. But that wasn't what startled him. For a moment….he felt….it seemed as though…..
Forget it, he advised himself. Luke was dead. He wasn't coming back. Not ever. The Jedi that had first kidnapped him was probably dead, too. Everyone was dead. Everyone always died. And it hurt. It hurt so terribly that the Sith Lord could barely stand it.
He missed his son. He wanted him to come home. But Luke wasn't going to come home.
…
Luke slid into the control room and hurriedly pushed the key pad for the doors to shut and lock. Ripping off his helmet, he began to angrily berate Han. "You know, between his howling and your blasting everything in sight, it's a wonder the whole station doesn't know we're here!"
The two titans locked forces once more as Solo wheeled with an equally impressive snarl on his face. "Bring 'em on! I prefer a straight fight to all this sneaking around!"
If it's a straight fight you want, I'm happy to oblige! Luke's fist clenched, but he didn't respond. Chewbacca whimpered nervously, a plea for them to leave off each other. They slowly turned around, unwilling to show the other their back, and stalked off to separate sides of the small office space. The old Jedi gave his young protégé a look that clearly meant "Cool it," and Luke flushed with a bit of shame. He just never could keep his ire down around Captain Solo.
C-3PO was busily translating for his R2 unit counterpart, but neither Luke nor the pirate were paying much attention. They were too busy trading glares from across the room.
"I don't think you boys can help."
The sentence ripped Luke out of his malice, and back into the real world. And the real world was suddenly terrifying.
"I must go alone."
"What? No!"
As his master had made for the door, Luke had dodged him and created a human barrier between Obi Wan and the way out.
"Master Obi Wan, you can't! Please, don't go alone, take me with you!"
"Be patient, Luke. Stay here and watch over the droids."
"But he can-"
"They must be delivered safely, or other star systems will suffer the same fate as Alderaan."
Luke looked away, bitter still from the biting memory. Those innocent people….It always seemed that Luke stumbled across innocent dead bodies, and now it seemed he was always deeply effected by them.
"Your destiny lies along a different path than mine."
That made Luke look sharply up. "What? No! That's not true. Master Obi Wan, please, I-"
"I can't stay with you forever, Luke. There's a part of this that you must learn to do on your own."
"I don't want to be alone."
"You never will."
"Of course I will be! I have no one left but you! You're the only person I have, you're the person that kept me alive, that changed me! You can't go away, please, Master, you can't go away."
"Luke…."
"You promised me you'd never leave me."
The smuggler had retreated farther back toward the computer, along with Chewie, their backs turned. Sappy scenes did nothing for them. Moreover, private displays of affection embarrassed them.
Kenobi was not looking at Luke. He was looking at some sort of space between the floor and the white Storm Trooper boots he was wearing. "I made a promise I couldn't keep," he finally admitted. "Sometimes people do that."
It was as though the blade of a knife were being forced between the young man's ribs. He fumbled, and felt a terrible, wrenching despair begin to eat at him. "Then you lied to me, too."
"Yes….I guess I did."
"How could you do this to me?" the boy demanded, biting back vengeful tears. "After all we went through together? After you said you were saving me from the lies my father told me, after you said you were telling me the truth!"
"I did tell you the truth, Luke! I never lied to you, not outright, and not on purpose. I wouldn't do that."
"But you're doing it right now!" There was a thick and heavy silence. "Master, please-"
"Luke, you are going to find that people will lie to you. Sometimes they lie to protect you, sometimes to hurt you, and sometimes because they don't know what else to do. Then it is up to you to decide what their intentions were, and what sort of people they are because of those intentions."
"No! All lies are the same, they're all-"
"The truth is seen from a certain point of view. What is true today isn't true tomorrow, and you can't count on anything to be constant. You wanted me to teach you. There. That is the ultimate, the one truth, if you will."
"But you said….I thought….Master…."
"Luke, I never wanted to hurt. Never. Whatever I told you was for the best as I could see it. If I made some mistakes in my decisions, then I am sorry. I am human. It happens."
"You're not….you're something so much better….At least, I thought you were."
"Then that is another thing you have learned; all the people you place on a pedestal will eventually fall. It is inevitable." Silence. "Luke, I am so, so sorry…"
"I…I don't care! I don't care if you lied to me, it doesn't matter! Please, just let me go with you, don't make me stay behind. Master Obi Wan, I need you!"
"And you'll always have me. But where I'm going you cannot follow."
They desperately gripped each other's shoulders, and Luke was trying hard to swallow what had just been forced at him. "Master…Don't leave me alone again in the world. I don't have anyone else but you."
"You've got to learn to spread your wings, Luke. The Force will be with you. Always."
"And what about you?"
"I'll be with you, too. Even if you can't see me, I'll still be there. You've just got to believe that. That is a truth. That is something you can hold on to."
Luke very reluctantly let his mentor go, and pushed the controls for the door to open.
"There you go…." He whispered. "Now you'd better get going."
The old man smiled very sadly and gave the boy's shoulder a parting squeeze. "I will never reject you."
"And I will never forsake you. Now you've got to get going…..please….before I change my mind."
The Jedi nodded and rushed down the hall way. Luke watched him until he turned and was out of sight. His body shivered slightly with repressed emotion as he shut and locked the door again, slumping against it.
He was alone. And it frightened him.
To Be Continued…
Whoot! Now, this was a FUN chapter. Loads of fun. After I post this I'm going straight to work on the next one, which will also be fun. So I guess it's fun all around. Except for the fact that I can't see Revenge of the Sith until Memorial Day, and I might have to wait even longer. Man, that sucks.
Annmarie Aspasia: - whistles innocently – I'm still not telling….
xInuyashaxangelx: Luke is unbalanced enough that ANYTHING will push him over the edge. A pin could drop and he'd freak out.
Schnickledooger: You could be right. You could be wrong. I'm not telling.
Vivid Butterfly: Soon enough? Glad you enjoyed!
TorontoBatFan: You're really, really good at saying exactly what I was going for. Maybe that means I accomplished my goal? Maybe not. I love reading your reviews, so keep sending them.
Joy4eva: Thanks, I'll do my best!
