W00t! Thank you everybody for the reviews… In the original journey to the west, the nyoi-bo was a big pillar of iron, which Goku could make shrink or grow at will. When he didn't need it, he shrunk it to smaller than a pin, and stuck it in his ear for safekeeping. That must have been hard on his neck, though, because no matter how big it was, the iron was said to weigh over a hundred tons. (Thus, Goku got to use it; no one else could lift it, let alone fight with it.)

'Um. Well that didn't go as planned.'
Such were the last thoughts of a rather powerful demon as he fell under the claws of a being he himself had created.
The youkai that used to be Hakkai sunk once again to the ground, hoping like hell that the squishy ropes he was clutching to his abdomen weren't really what he thought they were.
Blood, not all his own, had pretty much soaked the floor, setting a red sheen over everything.
Heck, not even most of it was his own.
He could smell it, suddenly, his senses seemed… brighter somehow. He could hear things he'd never even thought of. He hesitantly reached one bloody hand up to his ear.
It was easily three times as long as it had been. And pointed.
"Shit… oh, shit…"
WHAT JUST HAPPENED?
In not exactly the reception s/he had expected, Kanzeon Botsatsu was unceremoniously bitch- slapped.
"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?" the monkey king roared at hir. "I've been in a fucking CAGE for the last fifty years and you show up NOW?"
With one finger pressed lightly to his diadem, the merciful god/dess pushed him away from her.
"I've been working off a hangover. Get over yourself. You're immortal, after all."
"That's not the point!"
"Who's the babe?" Gojyo asked, not quite able to tear his eyes away from hir rather interesting apparrel.
"She's a horrid bitch who comes and harasses us occasionally," Goku explained.
"Hey! I've saved your asses on more than one occasion. Quit being ungrateful."
"This is craziness. I don't have time for this."
"Right. Um, if I remember correctly, I should have left nyoi-bo somewhere around…"
Goku searched the ground in a corner for something that didn't appear to be there.
"Ah, here it is."
Goku picked something invisible off the floor, and immediately a familiar red- gold staff rested in his hands. He gave it a few test swirls, effectively demolishing a wall.
"The sutras won't prove so easy to find," Kanzeon said off- handedly.
"Yeah, yeah," Goku followed, not looking at her. "We don't need your help. We'll find them. How far could they have gone?"
He froze. He didn't really want an answer to that question, but he knew Kanzeon was going to give him one.
"Heaven."
"See? They're safe. I'm not needed, so I'm leaving."
"Not so fast, Konzen. Or, wait, I guess it's… shit, it's not Sanzo anymore either." The Merciful God/dess looked questioningly at her nephew. "What is your name now, anyway?"
"What is it with you people and my name?"
"Well, you just go through them so fast…" Kanzeon looked shocked for a second, as if s/he had just remembered something very important.
"Crap! Um… you guys stay right here. I'll be right back."
And she disappeared.
"I vote on not waiting," Sanzo said, and finally walked off.
"I second." Goku followed, the nyoi-bo disappearing from his hands.
"Hey, wait… where-" Gojyo glanced at where the god/dess had just been and then to the two retreating backs and back again. Then he followed the two people that were actually there.
"Hey, monkey, what've you got against her, anyway? She seemed-"
"Yes, she does kinda seem, doesn't she? But she isn't."
"Yeah, but still, with clothes like that she couldn't be-"
"She has a dick, Gojyo. Get over it."
Gojyo stopped dead in his tracks, one eye twitching slightly.
I wasn't just thinking any of that. This can all be forgotten.
"Hey wait up!"
"Why are you following me?"
"Oh, damn… what a mess."
Hakkai opened one eye. He couldn't see much, but it didn't really matter much at this point anyway.
"You keep doing this… you must have some sort of trans- reincarnational masochistic streak. What are we going to do with you, Tenpou?"
Was that his name? He really didn't think so, but bloodloss can do all sorts of funky stuff to your head. Why did he know that?
Lots of questions… not many answers… heh, life is funny when it's almost over. He closed his eyes, a slight smile on his lips.
"Oh, no. You aren't dying on me yet! If you die I'll have to chain the monkey up until all four of you can be together again, and I'm. Not. Doing. It.
What about a monkey now? Some sort of flicker of a memory.. Maybe it had been his pet? A monkey that always wanted to be fed…
Something splashed down into the blood next to him, and strong hands grasped his ravaged body.
"Man, who the hell did you piss off this time? You never did know how to pick your fights, Tenpou. Here, this may sting a bit."
Liquid fire spread outwards from the hands. If he screamed, he didn't register it. He wasn't really listening, anyway.
"That oughta do it. Spontanious regeneration doesn't have the story- tale charm of having your guts shoved back in by your life partner… but it isn't as lame as dying, either."
Life partner? What was this woman rambling on about? And why the hell wasn't he dead yet? Whatever she had done was tons worse than that demon's slashes.
He raised one arm slightly, almost fearfully feeling the skin around her hands. It wasn't torn. It wasn't even scratched. Scarred, yes… but that would have… wait a minute.
Clawed hands ran down the length of his abdomen.
Nothing.
Well, there was a hell of a gash, but at least his intestines weren't coming out anymore.
So this woman, whoever she was… had healed him. For no apparent reason.
"Um…"
"Don't say anything. You probably won't remember me anyway. Oh, almost forgot. Keep these on."
She stuck something to his left ear, and… something weird happened. Like having your whole body fall asleep at once.
And then it was over.
And she was gone.
And…
He didn't get to finish that thought.
"Jiroshin? Jiroshiiin!"
The God/dess's bodyguard sighed. His mistress had been like a child ever since hir favorite 'entertainment' had died. And, being more or less unable to cause enough trouble by herself, s/he'd spent the last fifty years waiting for now, when the four of them would FINALLY be back together again.
And now they weren't doing anything.
Actually, they were doing quite a lot. Koumyou, from somewhere in his memory, discovered the secret of pulling the harisen from nowhere, and was back to his old pattern of beating Gojyo of Goku whenever they said anything.
Goku was trying to convince Koumyou that they were meant to go find Sanzo's scriptures, and Koumyou was having none of it. Even if they had the same personality, they didn't have the same priorities.
Gojyo was following the two of them, an ever- present cigarette hanging from his mouth. He was vaguely paying attention to what was being said, but mostly he was wondering how many people would be returning to the tunnels. His living depended on a fresh supply of suckers in the underground equivalent of bars. No one who'd met him before trusted him enough to play against him.
And Hakkai? Hakkai was sleeping. Jiroshin thought he might slip into a coma for a while, but the god/dess would tear hir hair out if he did.
Jiroshin was brought back to his present surroundings by a poke on the shoulder. He wished Kanzeon wouldn't do that.
"Yes, Mistress?"
"Where are those sutras anyway?"
"I'm… not sure. Gyumaoh had them for a while, didn't he?"
"Well, he obviously doesn't have them anymore. Maybe the sansbutsushin?"
"I don't think they're going to be very willing to help us again. Not after the severe financial repercussions they endured last time."
"Well, yeah, they gave my dear nephew a gold card. I still can't figure out what they were thinking."
Kanzeon stared at hir lily pond, watching the figures beyond it weave bright patterns into the cloth of Fate.
"Well, wherever they are I suppose we could trust our little heroes to find them, right?"
Jiroshin nodded the tired assent of someone who knows it's pointless to argue.
"Koumyou?"
"What do you want now?"
"Where are we going?"
"I'm going back to where I live. I don't have any idea where you're going, because you are NOT going to follow me the whole way."
"But-"
"Don't worry, monkey. You can crash with me."
"Don't call me monkey, dammit! My name is Goku! GO-KU!"
"Well, aren't you a smart little monkey."
Koumyou kept walking as the two behind him dissolved into a fistfight. Unfortunately, when walking, getting into a fight gets you left behind, unlike being in jeep.
Also unfortunately, they soon figured this out and continued to follow him.
How long can this LAST?
This chapter is dedicated to my main Emu out there. You know who you are.

Okay, dedication question: Here's how to play: Answer this right, and you get the next chapter dedicated to you!

What is different about Kanzeon Botsatsu in the manga/ anime?

Or, if you don't know that one, what's the difference betwen Maga Kenren and Anime Kenren?