Where Am I Going To?
Part One
Chapter Nineteen
Luke watched him with a scowl on his face, arms crossed, waiting, expectant. Han didn't look up. He just kept right on loading boxes in. The boy flashed a look at the Wookie, a plea to talk some sense into his companion, but he just shrugged his hairy shoulders; Chewbacca had already tried, to no avail.
"All flight troops, man your stations. All flight troops, man your stations."
Luke didn't move, his flight helmet still tucked under his arm. The intercom did not faze Captain Solo in the slightest. He didn't pause for an instant.
"So, that's it, huh?"
Here the pirate finally paused. He straightened his back and stared Luke in the eye.
"Yeah, that's it."
Luke felt a pang in his chest, and he stood slightly taller, puffing out his chest in indignation. "You got your reward and now you're just leaving?"
The smuggler took the tone of having to explain things to a child, which only enraged Luke all the more. "I've got some old debts I gotta pay off with this stuff. Even if I didn't, you don't think I'd be fool enough to stick around here, do ya?" He paused for a moment, cringing slightly under the hot glare of young Skywalker. "Why don't you come with us?" he boldly offered, surprising the boy. "You're pretty good in a fight, we could use you."
Luke sneered, snarled. "You couldn't pay me enough to even consider it. Why don't you take a look around you. Do you have any idea how many pilots aren't going to be coming back?"
"Including yourself?"
He paused. It was a very real possibility. "I'm not afraid."
"Afraid to die? No. But you're afraid of something. And I'm going to find out what."
"The point is," continued Luke, flustered, "We need every man we can get."
"Then get someone else, I'm not going to do it."
"You're turning your back on us!"
"I'm saving my neck!"
Luke gave up, backed down. "Well, take care of yourself, Han. I guess it's what you're best at, isn't it?" Flustered, he turned to storm off, and refused to look back, even when Han incessantly called his name. He was sorry about it afterwards, but he was also confused.
He despised Han Solo. That was and always had been very clear. So why did he feel this need to make him stay? Why did he miss him? Why was he so afraid to let him go? It wasn't possible that he actually liked the pirate, was it? He didn't get the chance to dwell on it, as Leia had come to see if he was alright. Clearly, he was not.
"What's wrong?"
"It's that stupid Captain Solo, and I hate him, and I'm glad he's leaving, and-"
"Calm down!" instructed the girl, and Luke sucked in a few deep breaths. "Now, what's really troubling you?"
He paused, staring at the ground. "I'm going to try and blow up the Death Star."
After a moment she realized the problem. "Oh…you're having second thoughts."
"No," he shook his head. "But…I am betraying the Empire."
"I thought you hated the Empire?"
"I do! I'm just…." Now he looked her in the eye. "I only….I wish Master Obi Wan was here, to tell me what to do, to help me do it."
"Oh," she soothed, gently brushing his hair out of his eyes. He was trembling at the thought of his master, and she wondered if it had been a good idea to put him in Red Group. Still, there was no going back now. She kissed his cheek and he flushed, stuttering slightly. "Good luck."
He finally managed "Thanks," before she left, and he climbed into the cockpit.
…
Adrenaline took over like a drug. His superior knowledge of Imperial tactics and TIE weaknesses meant that picking off the looming enemy was much easier, and he was able to save a couple of people's necks from the chopping block. It was surprising as well as flattering whenever they saved his own.
His first attempt down the shaft had been cut short when it was agreed he'd descended far too steeply and he'd never pull out in near enough time. It was a real problem with the X-Wings. Lighter to handle than a TIE, they also had less defense, and he found himself making nose dives when all he wanted was a gentle decent. However, he was not a renowned pilot for nothing, and he was soon gaining control of the situation.
That is, until he recognized his father's Advanced TIE Fighter.
…
The Rebel scum were being obliterated easily. It proved to Darth Vader once again that no one could take on the Empire and ever hope to succeed.
Why wasn't it that Luke couldn't realize that?
When he'd discovered his homing device had been dismantled, he'd been furious. Only Luke would have thought to look, and known where to find it. And how was it that Obi Wan had dared have the tenacity to so much as look at his boy, let alone train him to become a reasonably powerful padawan in such short time? Of course, the boy couldn't take his father on yet, but if he practiced dedicatedly, how long would it take? Was he to be threatened by his own flesh and blood? Was this what the Jedi had done to the Skywalker family? Civil war?
If Luke was flying now – and knowing his son, he probably was – and even so much as thought about trying to blow up the Death Star….well, there would be no remorse for Vader to do his worse.
Or would there be?
…
Luke swore, smacking his fist against his helmet, not wanting to hit the instruments of the plane. "Red Leader's down," he croaked, as though Wedge and Biggs didn't already know.
"Yeah…" acknowledged the former.
"What are you going to do now?" asked the later.
Luke tightly shut his eyes. It was him. It had to be him. He'd be the one to do it, or Yavin IV would be crushed as swiftly as innocent Alderaan. Only this time, Leia was on the planet instead of watching.
I can't let them do it….
But by the same token, could he fire a shot into that exhaust pipe? It wasn't his skills he doubted, it was his conscience. Over 100,000 men inside that man made monster, and many of them were just as innocent as the ones on Alderaan. Two wrongs didn't make a right, but standing on the sidelines and watching Yavin IV being blown to pieces was the same as murder.
Well, why not? He'd murdered before.
The thought made him want to be sick.
Please, Master Obi Wan….What am I going to do?
"Luke?" The sound of Wedge's voice cracking over the com link forced him out of his contemplation, and he nodded, as though someone could see him.
"Let's go."
The race down the shaft was intense, and it didn't take him long to realize that his father was on their tail.
"Luke, I can't hold them much longer."
"Just…Just hang tight for a second, Biggs. I'm so close!" To no one in particular except maybe the X-Wing he added, "Come on, come on!...Okay! Almost in range for target!"
"You'd better make it fast!"
"Right!"
Trust your senses, Luke.
His concentration and composure were shattered. Breathless, he felt his windpipe tighten and his mind raced. No…Not possible. It was just a dream. After all, he did have that sick feeling again. Not here, please, not now.
Use the Force.
M…Master?
He didn't get a response as there was a sudden cry and a loud explosion behind him. He gasped, feeling a presence in the Force flicker out.
Biggs.
"Luke, god damn it, you had better fire fast!" Wedge swore as the only way to relieve the intense emotion he was suddenly feeling, and Luke replied a chocked affirmative.
But he couldn't go much faster down the shaft and hope to save his own neck, so he just prayed, reaching out for Obi Wan again.
Master? Are you really there? Please, tell me; what am I to do?
From Kenobi there was no reply, but the Force suggested, it it's wordless language, that he shut off his targeting computer. After a moment's hesitation, he turned it off.
From the Rebel base, a technician asked "You've turned off your targeting computer. Is something wrong?" Translation: You kamikaze bastard, are you stupid?
"Nothing, I'm fine."
So close….So close….
Wedge, however, had been clipped, and Luke told him to get out while the getting was good.
Just him. Only he could do it.
To Be Continued….
This is it….Ooooo….Are you all as excited as I am? What's gonna happen?
xInuyashaxangelx: He just might have to, yup
TorontoBatFan: There will be some more Mara. A bit sooner than I had originally anticipated, but I think it'll have to be like that. As for what Vader's up to….I honestly have no idea….Parcheesi?
Insane Pineapple from Naboo: Well, I don't think anyone tries to assassinate him. But the characters are tricky, and like to change things on me while I'm not looking…..