Where Am I Going To?

Part One

Chapter Twenty

The target was locked. His aim was perfect. One shot was all it took. One shot and the Empire would be safe, and the Rebel scum would be obliterated.

One shot, and his son would be dead.

Vader found himself contemplating this against his will. The fate of only person he'd dared to love for seventeen years rested in his hands. He had a duty to his master to destroy Luke. He had a duty as a father to protect him. Both could not be obeyed. One must bow to the other.

But his little boy! His pride and joy, his hope, his life, his soul was wrapped up in the eighteen year old that he must murder or be murdered himself. What option did he have? Why, why, why did Luke have to force his hand and his judgment in such a manner? What forces were allied against him to ensure his life long unhappiness?

I can't!

He hesitated that crucial second. If he hadn't, everything would have been entirely different.

…

Luke sucked in a breath, knowing that time was not on his side. The seconds ticked down, the hour glass was growing empty, and he wasn't sure if he'd be physically able to make the shot. Only because he was sure he'd soon be dead.

"Yahoo!"

His eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. Han? He could hear two of the three pilots spin wildly out of control, smashing into the sides of the Death Star. He unconsciously prayed that his father wasn't one of them. But, of course, he couldn't be. His father's talents as a pilot were remarkable, that's where Luke had gotten it from.

"You're all clear kid." Was this possible? "Now let's blow this thing so we can go home!"

Luke closed his eyes, he trusted the Force.

He pushed the button.

He lingered only long enough to watch his shot go in before finally exhaling and pulling out, racing along and back to Yavin IV. It never once occurred to him that he was a hero.

Remember, the Force will be with you, always.

Luke felt hot tears of joy spring to his eyes. I'll never forget you. That's more important. I won't forget the Force because of what you taught me.

No reply. Maybe it was a sort of situation where you could only receive thoughts, not transmit them back. Oh, it didn't matter. Nothing mattered. He was both overjoyed and deeply stunned. He'd saved Yavin IV, but he was still a murderer and a traitor. He was not entirely certain that the welcome back on the base would be warm.

…

Luke was not entirely certain he knew what was happening. Leia had suddenly thrown her arms around his neck, his arms supporting her waist. Laughing, he spun her, planting a chaste kiss on her cheek, grinning from ear to ear.

"You did it, Luke! I knew you could do it, I told them you would, I…" She'd had to stop as she had started to cry too. Han was suddenly upon them, and then what seemed a mass of pilots – a lot more than the ones that had been fighting above Yavin IV – attacked him.

"Look at you!"

"You're a hero, kid!"

"You're a rebel!"

"You're unstoppable!"

"To the stars!"

So lovingly mobbed, he was certain he'd soon collapse. But then, maybe not. His place in the Rebellion so secured, any thoughts that he would be cast out for his former ties to the Empire died. Any idea that Leia would never trust him banished. Any consideration that he'd never hear his master's voice again comforted. Everything was assuaged, and it was hours before he found a moment to himself. Rebel High Command thanked him personally, and General Rieekan had commented that he'd never seen a better job.

He'd never been happier.

…

"Ya nervous, kid?"

"Han, seriously, stop calling me kid."

Han shrugged, still grinning at the boy, decked out in his flight jacket and pants. "Ya still are one."

"I'm nineteen!" Luke hissed, trying to make sure his hair was straight.

"You're eighteen."

"I'm nineteen," he challenged. "My birthday was three days ago."

Solo raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yes, really," said an exasperated young Skywalker.

"Well, happy birthday. I'll have to get you a present."

Luke shook his head, grinning. "Everything I want I have right here."

"Everything?"

He ducked his head momentarily, his throat tightening; it was a threat of the tears that very might well come at the thought of his beloved mentor. "Almost."

In an uncharacteristic display of sympathy, Captain Solo clapped the nineteen year old on the shoulder. "I'm really sorry about your Jedi Master, kid."

"Yeah," he whispered. "I am too…."

"Time heals all wounds."

"No it doesn't."

The smuggler shrugged again. "Yeah, you're right, but that's what they keep telling me, so maybe someday they'll get it right."

Luke allowed a small smile and straightened up again. He glanced at the door as it sounded like someone was trying to open it. "I guess we're going in now."

"You nervous?" the pirate repeated.

Luke now grinned. "Please, after blowing up the Death Star? I couldn't be more calm."

The doors did, in fact, open, and after a moment, he, Han, and the Wookie walked down, heads held high, several thousands of pairs of eyes watching them. But all of Luke's attention was focused on Leia, who was looking extremely radiant. He smiled triumphantly before bowing his neck to accept the medal, his heart full to the bursting. Turning around, he was met with thunderous applause, through which he could not help but to grin. This was it, this was where he belonged. Not as a Sith Lord and Imperial Prince. But with the people who accepted him for who he was. That was really all he'd been looking for all along.

…

Dawn. Dawn, alone – the first time in several hours he'd been alone – and he didn't feel tired. He felt serene. He felt content. He'd come to peace with the fact that he had, in fact, committed murder and unforgivable treason in the act of blowing up the Death Star. The Force flowed over him soothingly, counseling and calming. He sucked in a breath of fresh air, and let what ever tension remained in his mind out. Stretching briefly, he allowed the same for his body before sitting cross legged on the dirt again.

"Master? Can you hear me? Are you still there?"

Master Obi Wan had promised that, even if Luke couldn't see him, he was perpetually at his side. Come Sith Hell or high water, Kenobi was there for the boy, and the boy was there for Kenobi. They were connected to each other. And, he noted, Leia had told him firmly that you did not lose someone to death. His beloved mentor would be in his heart until Luke himself was offered up to death, to that interconnectedness within the Force.

He mused with a smirk on his face that now that he was a part of Rebellion, death might soon come knocking at his door. He didn't worry about it. Death didn't frighten him, never had. Now, were he to lose Leia, or Han, or Wedge….that he feared. He didn't think he'd ever be able to stop being afraid of that very real possibility.

"I'm listening, Master. What will you try and tell me? Where do I go from here?"

The rising sun over the misty horizon held infinite possibilities. Three months ago, the idea that he would have destroyed the Death Star would have been laughed at uproariously. For one, he was Lord Skywalker, and would never do such a thing. For two, no one thought it could be done.

His father hadn't been too far off when he'd said that the Skywalkers were a breed that perpetually did what everyone claimed was impossible. Whether it was always a good thing or not was subject to debate, but Luke knew that it was true.

Where was his father now?

He sucked in another breath, and closed his eyes, allowing the glow of the sun, like a melted gold coin, to shine over his eyelids, silhouetting the veins. A slight smile on his lips, his breathed out again. So calming, so reassuring. With every breath he pulled in the Force. And nothing was impossible so long as he had that never-ending string of life on his side, and he'd been told countless times that he did. The Dark Side was no longer a threat. It seemed to him that he was perpetually buried in Light. And that made him immensely happy. There was no comparison. It was like a soothing friend that would always understand him.

"I will go on. You showed me the way. I will not fail you."

It was a promise. And it, just like the Force, was forever.

End Part One

How cool is this? An hour after posting chapter nineteen, I have twenty up! Sweet! Anyway, thus ends ANH and Part One. Due to my previous month long break, I don't really need another one. I will take a brake from the main story for a short time so I can do some updating with Where You Were Going To. I need to post a song fic, need to finish writing a fic about when Luke's fifteen, and need to write a fic of a conversation between he and Leia at the funeral for the several dozen pilots who did not survive the attack on the Death Star. So, I just want to say thank you to everyone; to those of you who've read it, to those that reviewed, for those that have been with me ever since the prologue five months ago. You are all very special to me, and I am honored that you all have shown such enthusiasm for this fic. It is, by far and large, the most successful thing I've ever undertaken. After three years of writing, I am getting the response I used to only be able to dream about. Whilst that is a compliment to me, it would never have been possible without all of you standing right beside me through it all. I can only hope with confidence that Part Two will be just as much fun to read as well as write, and that all of you will still enjoy it, and maybe even more so. Much loves and kisses – Shadow13

HermioneSkywalker: I hope this makes you feel better

Myotismon13: A little less Vader-y than I'd hoped for, but I really loved Luke's whole peaceful moment at the end. I think it wrapped up the season better than a whole lot of Vader going "Kill him! Wait, no. Do it! Ah, crud!" Anyway, I really hope you liked it.

xInuyashaxangelx: I just want to thank you for being one of the very special people who has read every chapter of this story way when I first began it. –snugs-