Just a reminder, I don't own anything :).

It there was still two days until she was out. Two days until she was allowed to be outside in the March spring weather. Two days until she would be free from these group and individual therapy sessions. Most of all…

Two days until Pacey.

Joey was lying down on her bed when her roommate, Marci, came back from her session.

"Boy, I'm beat," Marci said as she plopped onto her bed.

"Your session ran long today," Joey said staring up at her ceiling.

"I know. You'd think that they'd realize that after a few weeks, we girls are talked out about our 'feelings.'"

Joey took a deep breath and sat up. She swung her legs over the edge of her bed and looked at her roommate. "How do you do it, Marci?"

Marci turned her head towards Joey. "Do what?"

"This; all of it. I can barely deal with my one raping and month in here but you, this is your third time. I never see you without a smile. How do you do it?"

Marci shrugged her shoulders. "Experience I guess. You better get going to your group session before you're late."

Joey stood up. "I'll see you later, Marci."

XXX

Angie, the "active" therapist, stood her six feet at the front of the small circle formed by the girls. Her blonde hair was in a tight bun that went around her thin glasses. Angie would seem intimidating to most people but she wasn't: she was the nicest worker here. Angie was called the "active" therapist because she liked "activities."

"We're going to try another partner activity," Angie said with a tiny smile. "Everyone get a partner please."

All of the girls partnered up. Joey ended up with another stranger.

Angie nodded. "Now this is going to be a difficult activity so if anyone needs to stop, then they just tell their partner. I want the girls on the left to reach over and gently put their hands on the shoulders of their partners."

The girls did as they were told. Joey placed her hands on her partner. A lot of the girls who were on the right reacted well to being touched. Some flinched but were able to be okay without pulling away. The girls had to run their hands down their partners arm and then remove them. The first part of the activity went well.

"Good job girls," Angie said. "This activity prepares you for when you leave here. People will want to hug you and, if you're in a romantic relationship, most likely touch you. I just want to make sure that you've already been exposed to the feel of another. Now, let's switch sides. Ladies on the right, please do what your partner did to you."

Joey watched as her partners hands slowly rested upon her shoulders. Joey winced and closed her eyes tightly. She could feel her body stiffening up again. Her breathing became short. As her partner moved her hands lower, she got stiffer. As soon as her partner reached the end of her T-shirt sleeves and touched her skin, Joey lost it.

"Stop! Please stop!" Joey cried out as tears fell from her closed eyes.

Angie ran over to Joey and tried to calm her. "Joey, it's okay. Open your eyes."

Joey opened her eyes and saw everyone looking at her. She quickly wiped at her face.

"Are you okay?" Angie asked in a soft tone, making sure to calm her without touching.

Joey nodded as she kept wiping.

Angie left her eyes on Joey. "Ladies, the session is done for today. I'll see you all tomorrow."

The girls left. They took one last long stare at Joey before leaving the room. Angie took a nearby chair and sat in it. She just looked at Joey for a few seconds until Joey fully controlled her self.

"What did you feel right now, Joey?" Angie asked in her therapist voice.

Joey smiled and rolled her eyes. "I'll be okay, Angie. I'm out of here in two days so I'm cool. I'll talk to you tomorrow," Joey said before standing up and walking away.

"You might not be," Angie responded standing up herself.

Joey stopped walking and turned back to Angie. "What do you mean by that?"

"Joey, you have responded to all of the activities like this that involve some sort of physical contact with someone else. You've changed so much from the fragile woman you were when you first came here a month ago. In this, though, you haven't advanced at all. In fact, you may have gotten worse. I don't want to keep you here longer, Joey, but unless you start telling me how you feel and you are able to handle minimal physical contact, I can't let you leave. So please, sit down and let me help you."

Joey walked back to her chair and scowled at her. "What do you want to know?" Joey asked meanly.

"Why do you respond like that? What do you feel when someone touches you?"

Joey took a shallow breath. "I guess…I feel small. I feel like I'm going to get hurt and I get scared. I want to scream every time someone touches me."

"Do you picture the man who raped you when someone touches you?"

"…Yeah. Dawson hurt me so badly that I see his face when I feel someone on me."

Angie nodded. "Joey, I'm going to do the exercise we did today…"

"Please, don't," Joey begged as she shook her head furiously.

"Joey, it'll be alright. I need you to relax. I want you to keep your eyes open and look at me. Remember that I won't hurt you."

Joey started biting her lip and breathed slowly until she relaxed more. Angie put her hands on Joey's shoulders and left them there.

"Are you okay?" Angie asked holding onto her shoulders.

Joey kept her eyes on Angie. The feeling to pull away lessened as she saw Angie, not Dawson, and remembered that Angie wouldn't hurt her. "I'm okay," Joey responded after a few seconds.

Angie smiled and ran her hands down her arms. "Good. See, you're improving already. I'm going to do it again, Joey, but this time I want you to close your eyes and remember that I'm the one touching you and I won't hurt you."

Joey could only nod. As soon as her eyes closed, Angie's eyes were on her shoulders. HE popped back up again. Joey could feel her body stiffening and a tear drop.

Angie felt Joey's body stiffen under her hands. "Joey, it's okay. Remember that I'm the one touching you and not him. I won't hurt you."

Joey nodded a few times. She began thinking about Angie's face and her smile. Joey's body began to relax. Angie slowly moved her hands down her arms and let go.

"You can open your eyes now, Joey." Angie smiled when Joey was looking at her. "You did wonderful, Joey. I want to keep doing this with you until you become more comfortable and in two days, you can go home."

XXX

Audrey scowled. Pacey mopped around the past month. He barely talked to anyone and he looked thinner. His eyes had bags under them from the lack of sleep.

"Pacey is a mess," Audrey said to Sarah, a waitress she sometimes conversed with.

"I know. He really misses Joey," Sarah said back looking at him.

"I can't believe someone could be so selfish. Joey probably doesn't care about what she is doing to Pacey."

"She was raped at gunpoint, Audrey. Joey has been away to deal with that so I hope that she doesn't worry about Pacey," Sarah said with attitude.

Audrey looked at Sarah. "Who asked you anyway? Get back to work before I dock your pay."

Sarah rolled her eyes and walked away.

"You deserve more than her, Pacey Witter," Audrey said to herself as she kept staring at him.

XXX

Joey went into her room and closed the door. She didn't even notice that Marci was in the room. The only thing she focused on was putting her CD into the player and playing the song.

I'm coming home to you
I'm alive I'm a mess
I can't wait to get home to you
To get warm and undressed
There've been changes beyond my dreams;
Everybody wants me to sing
There've been changes beyond my grasp;
Things I'm sinking in

Joey laid down on her bed and picked up her picture of Pacey. She stared at it and smiled.

So keep me in your bed all day
Nothing heals me like you do

And when somebody knows you well
Well there's no comfort like that
And when somebody needs you
Well there's no drug like that

So keep me in your bed all day
Nothing heals me like you do

These words fit so perfectly with what she felt. It was all about Pacey. A tear fell as she let the music wrap around her.

And where l'm home, curled in your arms
And I'm safe again
I'll close my eyes and sleep
To the sound of London Rain

Nothing falls like London Rain
Nothing heals me like you do
Nothing falls like London Rain
Nothing heals me like you do

As the song ended, Joey could feel that her pillow was wet.

"Joey?" Marci asked as she looked at her roommate.

Joey wiped away the tears and sat up. "Yeah?"

"Why do you always listen to that Heather Nova, London Rain, song after your sessions?"

Joey smirked. "Memories I guess."

"What about that picture you always grab onto?"

Joey looked at the picture and smiled at it. "It's my boyfriend Pacey. I miss him."

Marci smiled. "Have you talked to him today?"

Joey lifted up her head and looked at Marci. "I haven't called him all week."

"Well why the hell would you do that?"

Joey gave a sad look to her. "I don't know, Marci. He should be the one person that I would talk to for hours. We've done these activities this week where you have physical contact with someone else. Each time someone has touched me, I envision my rapist touching me and I get stiff and cry. I'm afraid that I won't be able to be touched by him and that scares me. I don't want to see someone else when it's Pacey."

Marci looked at her for a few seconds and took a deep breath. "I was serious when I said that experience kept me from going over the edge. After I was raped the first time, I shut down. I didn't talk, I didn't eat, and I didn't sleep. Everyone thought that I would die. After a while, I was back to myself again. When I was raped again, I shut down again. When I saw my mother cry before she went to bed, I realized that what I was doing wasn't only not helping me, but also hurting those who cared about me. This last time it happened, I let it barely faze me. If I would have then I probably would have killed myself by now. What I mean by all of this is that you just need to let go, Joey. Just keep pushing forward and through the fear. Eventually, you will be back to what you used to be like."

Joey watched as Marci lay back on her bed. Marci had been through so much and she was still so strong. Joey had to learn to be like that. Her first step: the phone call.

Joey picked up her room phone and dialed the number. Four rings and then the machine picked up. Joey's voice picked up.

You've reached Pacey Witter's answering machine. Leave a message after the beep; unless you're some girl who thinks he's cute (Pacey chuckles in the background).

Joey waited for the beep. She took a deep breath and spoke: "Hey, Pacey. It's me, Joey. I was hoping I could talk to you but I guess this is okay. I see you haven't changed that humiliating greeting I made for you. Listen, I'm really sorry I haven't called you all week. I've just been really distracted with this being my last week and all. They're trying to prepare me for when I go back into the real world. I can't wait to get out of here. I've heard that the weather has gotten really nice and Saturday should be warm.

I miss you, Pace.

I miss the way you smell and the way taste. I miss the way you smile and the way you're eyes light up when you see or hear something you love. I miss the way you look at me, all the time, whether you're sad or mad or angry or happy. I miss the way I feel when I'm in your arms and when I'm kissing you.

I love you, Pacey, and I always will."

XXX

Joey sat on an old brown plastic chair. Her bags were next to her on the old green colored tiles. Joey was nervous. Her hands tugged at the jean material that sat on her knees. It felt like time was moving extra slow that day.

That's when she saw the blue eyes.

"Hi, baby."