AUTHOR'S NOTE: This Nurse Amanda is a real person!

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Ryan shifted in his bed. He was still half asleep, but was quickly becoming aware of the fact that something was making him feel uncomfortable. He wasn't in any real physical pain, just suddenly very ill at ease. Ryan slowly opened his eyes and looked around the darkened room, finally settling on a lone figure sitting in the chair with his eyes closed and listening to an Ipod. Ryan took note of the fact that neither Kirsten nor Sandy was anywhere to be found, only Seth. So much for giving him time to wrap his head around everything, Ryan thought as he reached over for his sunglasses.

He waited for a few minutes, waited for Seth to say or do something. It wasn't that Ryan was looking forward to that, but it was Seth – inevitably he was going to say or do something.

Ryan wasn't sure why he picked up the orange from the nightstand, but as he continued to lie there, watching Seth bop his head and tap his foot to some offbeat song, seemingly without a care in the world, he suddenly got really mad.

Seth jumped when the orange hit him squarely in the chest with a loud 'thump'. "Ouch! Oh, um…hi… morning… or really afternoon. Or I guess you could say early evening."

When he was greeted with only silence and a glare, Seth continued. "You look, um, better. Heard you went for a walk today. That's great. Also heard they may actually spring you from this place in a few days. That's cool."

Continued silence and more glaring made Seth even more nervous. "Um, so… Ah, oh, Dad went to get something special for dinner. He said the doctor said you could eat anything so he ordered from the Baja Fish Taco. He just left to pick it up. Mexican and seafood – a truly unbeatable Chrismukkah combination!"

For that, Ryan let out a loud sigh and looked up at the ceiling.

"Okay. So, yeah. Mom ran down to the car, to get the stuff for tonight. She said she'd be right back. She also said not to wake you. I hope I didn't do that. Did I?"

Ryan didn't bother to respond nor in any way acknowledge Seth. "Okay, so I'll take that to mean no. I hope. But if I did, do me a favor and tell her you woke up on your own."

That finally seemed to get Ryan's attention as he turned towards Seth, bewildered but most definitely not amused. "Do You Favor!" They seemed to be the only words Ryan understood from Seth's non-stop nervous drivel.

The tone of Ryan's voice made Seth stop in his tracks and realize what he had just said. "Um…yeah. No. Don't do me a favor. I didn't mean that. Tell Mom I intentionally woke you up. Hell, tell her I jumped up and down on your bed singing Frosty the Snowman. But definitely don't do me any favors."

When Ryan fell silent again, Seth looked around the private room. "I just hope they can move another bed in here because seriously, if you tell her I did any of that, I'm going to need a hospital bed of my own."

It was meant to be a joke, but one that Ryan wasn't in the mood to appreciate. "What you want, Seth?"

"Nothing. I just came to visit. See how you were doing. See if I can do anything for you."

"You did 'nough."

Seth finally got quiet as he looked down at his feet and kicked at something invisible. He finally looked up and tried to look Ryan in the eyes, but they both turned away.

"Actually, I didn't do nearly enough. Well, really, I did nothing. I let you do it all, and I've been trying to come up with a way to make it up to you. To prove to you how sorry I am."

Ryan thought about it for a minute. "Told you before – sometimes grand gestures can't fix."

Seth at first could only nod his head in agreement. "I know. Learn from my mistakes. That's pretty much what Dad said. But, well, this time, you're the one who has to live with my mistake."

Ryan shifted in the bed then grimaced as he once again glared at Seth. "Tell me about it."

"If it helps at all, we're pretty much in the same boat."

"What boat?"

"When you get home. As long as you're housebound, so am I. I can't go anywhere until you can. So you know – same housebound boat."

"Really?" Ryan's tone was cold and sarcastic. "Your leg broke?"

"Um, no…"

"Your shoulder dislocated?"

"Ryan…"

"Your head split open? Your spleen gone?"

"It's just… I meant…"

But Seth couldn't continue; Ryan was on a roll.

"You have no trouble talking. You can walk on own. You go to bathroom with no one there…"

Seth put his hands up, wanting desperately for Ryan to stop. "I know! Believe me, I know! And I'm sorry. Truly, truly sorry. I wish there was a way to make it up to you. But I know I can't, and I know you probably don't want to be friends anymore. And I don't blame you. But I just wish…"

He hesitated for a second before starting to shout. "I just wish to hell it was me with the broken leg and the dislocated shoulder and the busted head. I wish I was the one who couldn't talk, couldn't walk and needed a nurse to go pee. But I'm not. Okay. I know I'm not, and I never will be because I know you would never let me fall. You would have never walked away."

Seth looked down at his feet again as he jammed his hands into his pockets. He stopped shouting long enough to tell Ryan, "And I know you have to live with what I did. But so do I, Ryan. And as much as it sucks for you to live with the consequences of my mistake, it sucks for me, too. It kills me knowing that there is nothing I can do about it, except tell you that I'm sorry for everything."

With that, neither boy had anything else to say. They both stared at the door, wondering what was taking Kirsten so long bringing the stuff up from the car. After a few very awful quiet moments, Seth finally sighed and sat back down in the chair. He looked at his feet then at his fingernails. He looked at the window and settled on trying to look out the tightly closed blinds. He wanted to look anywhere and not at Ryan.

Ryan, in the meantime, just stared at the ceiling. When Seth finally got up the nerve to glance at Ryan, he noticed that he was rubbing his eyes underneath the sunglasses.

"Headache?"

"Always."

"I'm sorry."

"Shut up."

"Sorry."

"Seth…"

Seth sighed. He almost said "sorry" again, but managed to stop himself. After a few more unbearable silent minutes, he finally said, "I'm just trying to figure out what to do to help you."

"Leave."

"What? I…what?"

"Just leave."

"I can't. I have to stay."

"No. You don't. I just…" Ryan waved his hand over towards Seth. "Don't want this. Not now. Not here. Please leave."

"Ryan, I can't leave."

"Why not?"

When Seth said, "Because Mom said…" Ryan groaned. He knew that anything Seth had to say that started with "Mom said," probably wasn't going to be good.

Never the less, Seth continued. "Mom said we're a family, and it's the holidays. And families celebrate the holidays. So I have to be here with you and with them, celebrating the holidays."

When Ryan didn't answer and just resumed rubbing his eyes, Seth added, "I think for the sake of my parents, we can at least try to make it through the holidays. This has been really hard on them, too. I promise I'll try to stay out of your way as much as possible, but when they want the family holiday time, can you at least try to pretend to tolerate me?"

Ryan only mumbled a "fine," as he rolled onto his side and away from Seth.

Fifteen very silent minutes later, Kirsten opened the door to find Seth quietly staring at Ryan's back. She figured it meant Ryan was still asleep so she tried to tiptoe into the room, but couldn't get all the way in as the two large bags got caught in the door.

"Seth," she whispered. "A little help here."

She was surprised to see Ryan roll back over and look at her. It was then she finally noticed how angry he looked and how sad Seth looked, and she quickly regretted running down to the car when she did. She suddenly wished she waited for Sandy to get back before leaving, and she really wished she hadn't stop to talk to Neil Roberts about Ryan's scars. She figured it would be best not to address what may or may not have taken place in her absence. "Seth, put the presents and other stuff over there. Thanks."

Kirsten slowly approached the bed. "Did you get enough sleep, Ryan? We can always put off celebrating for a little while longer if you'd like to get more sleep."

"No. I'm fine."

"Oh. Okay. If you're sure." Kirsten wrung her hands together as she looked from Ryan to Seth, back to Ryan and then at Seth again. She hated how upset they both looked, and she hated the fact that the room was filled with so much tension. She also hated the fact she had no idea what would be a safe conversation to have with the two of them. She didn't want to ask Ryan about how he felt again. But she didn't want to ask Seth about school or home or any of the other things that Ryan was missing out on because he was in the hospital.

Seth decided to busy himself with taking the presents out of the bags and stacking them neatly on one of the chairs. He refrained from making any jokes about the wealth of their stash as he remembered his promise to Ryan. He was there because his mother told him he had to be there, but he wasn't going to remind Ryan of that. He was going to try to stay as quiet as possible, and do his best to keep out of Ryan's way, even in such a small hospital room.

Ryan was content to once again stare at the ceiling for a few minutes before struggling to pull himself up. He was trying to be quiet and see if he could manage to sit up and call the nurse by himself, but Kirsten was at his bedside before he had barely moved.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I need to…" Ryan pointed towards the bathroom. "I need nurse."

Kirsten leaned over and hit the call button and then put her hand on Ryan's back as she helped him sit up. Ryan closed his eyes until the dizziness again disappeared. At least this time it didn't last long as he sat there waiting for Julie to come in and help him.

The voice that came over the speaker, however, did not sound like Julie. This voice had an English accent, an annoyed English accent. "Yes. Can I help you?"

Ryan opened his mouth to answer, but Kirsten beat him to it. "Yes. My, um… Ryan needs to… Can we get some assistance in here?"

He looked at Kirsten when the only response they heard was a click of the speaker being shut off. "Not Julie?"

"No. Her shift ended while you were sleeping. She said to tell you she'd see you tomorrow. I don't know what this nurse's name is. But I'm sure she's nice."

It hadn't dawned on Ryan that it wouldn't be Julie who again helped him the bathroom, and he'd have to get used to another stranger in there with him. "Sounds mad."

"Why would she be mad? I'm sure she's very nice."

Kirsten hadn't even finished the word nice when the door flung open and in walked this new nurse. Even through his sunglasses and in a darkened room, Ryan could see this one was most definitely different from, well, anyone he had met in the hospital. For one thing, her hair was more than one color. It actually looked like three colors, with these very strange looking blond pieces hanging down on the bottom – fake blond pieces. Ryan almost asked her if she knew it was Christmas and not Halloween, but decided since she would be accompanying him into the bathroom, well, sarcasm probably wouldn't be a good idea at that particular moment.

Despite the British accent, it was still obvious to Ryan that this woman was mad about something. She stood in the center of his room, hands on her hips. "Is there something I can help you with?" It was supposed to be a question, but it sounded more like a demand. Ryan opened his mouth to say "Never mind," but Kirsten instinctively stepped in front of him. "Ryan needs the walker and help in the bathroom."

This yet named, most definitely not nice nurse stared at Kirsten for a second, before looking at Ryan and then glaring at Seth. As she turned to leave, they all heard her mumbling, "…couldn't just tell me that over the intercom. Make me come in here, just to tell me he needs the walker…come in, leave, get the walker, come back… couldn't just tell me that…"

Seth momentarily forgot his promise to lay low and stay out of the way. "Whoa! Dude! What was that!"

But even behind the sunglasses, Ryan's glare quickly reminded Seth to just shut up and try to become invisible. Yip, Ryan was here in the hospital, peeing with Nasty Nurse because of him. Nope, Ryan didn't need any reminders of that fact. That one glare told Seth all he needed to remember.

It didn't help matters when Kirsten looked at Ryan. "I could help you instead, if you'd like." Seth groaned as Ryan just stared at her. It wasn't exactly a glare, but it still told them both what Ryan was thinking so they quietly waited for Nasty Nurse to return.

Seth did take a step closer to the bed when Nurse Nasty came back, pushing the walker like a steamroller towards Ryan. He wanted to help but noticed that Ryan was now intentionally ignoring him, concentrating instead on getting himself out of the bed. Seth had to look away when he noticed that even with his mother and the nurse helping, it still took a lot for Ryan just to stand up. His guilt level went even higher as he watched Ryan try to hobble towards the bathroom, leaning heavily on the walker with his good arm. He cringed when the nurse stopped his mom from helping and again as she stood there, wringing her hands as Ryan and the nurse disappeared into the bathroom.

He finally opened his mouth to say something when Nasty Nurse slammed the bathroom door shut for no apparent reason other than the fact she wasn't very nice. "Um, Mom, are all the nurses as lovely as that one?"

"No, that one is definitely different."

"Do you think maybe I should, um, go in and offer to help, you know, protect Ryan maybe."

"Why would you need to protect Ryan in the bathroom?"

"I don't know, she just strikes me as the type that might just damage Ryan's poor danglies."

"His what?"

"You know, danglies, on account of her being British."

"Seth, I have no idea what you're talking about. What exactly are danglies, and why should I be worried about Ryan's?"

"Danglies are, um... how do I put it in Mom-speak? Ok, if she damages the danglies, she'll be hurting Ryan's ability to make you a Grandmother some day."

"Seth!" It was obvious that Kirsten wasn't amused, nor did she find Seth's assessment particularly cute, especially given the fact that Kirsten, too, was a little worried about that nurse, alone with Ryan in the bathroom and him unable to move very fast. She briefly debated knocking on the door, but quickly decided that wouldn't be a very good idea.

First Seth just sighed but then he whined. "I'm sorry. It's just... I mean with nurses like that, no wonder he hates me."

"Seth, I already told you – that nurse isn't like any of the others." Kirsten paused for a second as she took in what Seth said. "Wait. When did Ryan say he hated you? Before, when you two were alone? He really said he hated you?"

After a shrug of his shoulders and a quick glance at the bathroom door, Seth looked down at the ground, again kicking at something invisible. "Not in so many words, but he didn't exactly say I was still his best friend."

Kirsten couldn't help but give Seth's arm a gentle rub. He sounded so sad, and she didn't know what she could possibly do to help him or Ryan. "What happened between you two before I got here?"

Since neither of them was exactly sure how long Ryan would be in the bathroom, Seth gave her the abbreviated version, than added, "it would probably be for the best if I just leave. You guys have Hanukkah with Ryan, and I'll see you at home later."

Kirsten stopped him as Seth headed for the door. "You're not leaving!"

When Seth opened his mouth to argue with her, Kirsten held up her hand. "No. I said you weren't leaving. You knew he was going to be mad. You need to stay here and face that."

"But I don't want to make it even worse."

"Then don't leave. Leaving will just show Ryan that you don't care enough to try to work it out. That you still think running away is the answer, and that you haven't learned anything from this whole nightmare."

When Seth didn't answer and only gazed at the closed bathroom door, Kirsten continued. "But stay, and you show him that you care – about him and about his place in this family. Show him that even though he's upset about the accident, you refuse to leave, and that you have learned from your mistake."

Again, Seth didn't immediately answer. He knew Ryan didn't want him there, but he didn't know how he was going to get his mother to understand that.

Before he could put into words exactly the way he needed to, Kirsten looked at him with that all knowing Mom look. "Honestly, I don't think Ryan's too sure how he feels right now. I'm sure he's very mad at you. I'm sure he's still very hurt, and I don't mean just physically. You have to remember; Ryan doesn't exactly understand the dynamics of a real family. We need to be here for him, all three of us. We have to show him that no matter what, we are a family and family sticks together. Okay?"

When Seth could only nod slightly and offer a very little smile, Kirsten punched his arm lightly. "Well, at least if he decides to deck you with more produce, your dad and I will be here to stop him."

The eye roll told Kirsten that Seth didn't find her joke all that funny. It also told her that even though the boys weren't getting along now, with all the time they had spent together, Seth had picked up some of Ryan's patent facial expressions. "It'll work out, Seth. I promise you, somehow it will all work out."

Seth could only whisper, "I hope so" as the bathroom door opened, and Ryan came hobbling out with Nasty Nurse following behind. Ryan glared at Seth when he saw him standing too close to the bathroom, making Seth slink back into the corner.

When Kirsten noticed Ryan stumbling alone and the nurse just standing there, it was her turn to glare as she moved next to Ryan to help him back to bed. The nurse just sighed as she headed for the door. "Leave the walker for the next time he needs to go. Ryan knows what to do."

"Shouldn't we call you to help?"

The nurse gave Kirsten the most unpleasant look as she repeated slowly, "Ryan knows what to do. I'll be back later to draw his blood."

"With your fangs?" Seth thought he mumbled soft enough, but realized that he must have spoken just loud enough to be heard as both Ryan and the nurse were glaring at him, and his mother was trying very hard to contain her laugh.

After one more nasty glare, the nurse headed once again for the door. "If you need anything, the name's Amanda."

Seth thought it would be for the best, for Ryan's sake, if he quickly apologized for the fangs comment so as the nurse opened the door, he tried to make amends. "Um, Nurse Mandy…"

He jumped when she whipped around and literally barked, "AMANDA!"

"Oh, um, okay. Never mind."

One final evil look and Nurse Amanda walked out. Kirsten continued helping Ryan get back into bed, fixing his covers and talking to them both, very loudly. "That's it! As soon as your father gets here, he's getting rid of that nurse. I don't know what her problem is, and frankly I don't care. That was just… She was just…"

"She fine."

Kirsten took a deep breath and then looked directly at Ryan. "She didn't do anything to you in the bathroom, did she?"

Ryan stared at her for a second, clearly confused and slightly taken back. "No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Sure."

"What goes on in there?"

"Um, 'scuse me?"

"What does she do to help you?"

Again Ryan just looked at Kirsten before trying to answer her rather strange and pretty personal question. "She, ah, stands there. Makes sure I don't fall so I can, um… do what need to do. She fine. Don't want any trouble."

"Fine. I won't cause any trouble, but I won't allow her to be alone with you. One of us will just stay to make sure she doesn't use her fangs when she draws blood, and one of us will accompany you into the bathroom to make sure you don't fall."

The look Ryan gave Kirsten said it all. It was a combination of 'are you out of your mind?' and 'that's not happening.' He started to shake his head but refrained from saying anything. That is, until Seth said something first.

"I've got to agree with Mom on this one. Anything would be better than Meanie Mandy."

"Amanda!" Ryan hissed.

Seth could only mutter "sorry" as he turned away and stared out the window.

Kirsten again looked from Ryan to Seth and back to Ryan. She didn't know what to say, or who to say it to. She knew Ryan could care less what the nurse's name was or what Seth called her and only snapped simply because Seth spoke. She also knew she couldn't exactly lecture Ryan for it though. He was mad and hurt. She had to remember that, and that she and Sandy agreed he had the right to be.

But she also couldn't tell Seth that it was okay, or thank him for offering his support. Nor could she lecture him for saying something.

So Kirsten just stood there as Seth stared out the window, Ryan stared up at the ceiling and neither said another word.

It will work out. Kirsten was still holding out hope that it was all going to work out. Somehow. But as Seth sighed, causing Ryan to glare, Kirsten had some serious doubts.