Ryan didn't know how long he'd been asleep. He was surprised when he woke up because he didn't even remember drifting off. He noticed a bottle of water on the nightstand so he knew either Kirsten or Sandy had come in at least once.

He figured it would be easy to get into the bathroom so he didn't bother to call for help as he slowly pulled himself up. Ryan then sighed as he slowly climbed out of the bed. He hadn't had any dizzy spells during the last few days in the hospital so the sudden wave of lightheadedness caught Ryan completely by surprise. He crashed into Kirsten's dresser, knocking everything over.

Ryan just laid his head on the dresser and waited for the feeling to pass before surveying the damage. The only item that was knocked to the ground was that stupid baseball picture of his that Kirsten insisted on framing. He tried to bend over to pick it up but got dizzy again and slumped against the side of the dresser.

Ryan was trying to straighten up when he heard, "Are you all right? What happened?"

"Sorry. Got dizzy. Picture broke." He was actually relieved to feel Kirsten's hands on his shoulders as she helped him. She took a step back only after he was safely sitting on the bed but still remained close. It was obvious that she was trying not to hover, but still wasn't willing to back away completely. "Feeling better?"

"Yeah. Sorry."

"Where were you trying to go?"

"Bathroom. Got dizzy."

"Why didn't you call for help?"

"Haven't been dizzy lately. No reason to think I would be."

"No reason? You spent the morning being pushed around on a stretcher and jostled about in the back of an ambulance. I think that's good reason for anyone to be dizzy, especially someone recovery from a head injury."

"Sorry."

"You don't need to be sorry. You just need to remember to ask for help."

"Sorry."

"Ryan…" Kirsten let out an exasperated sign and then rubbed her forehead. It was obvious that his soft-spoken 'sorrys' were really getting on her nerves, but she refrained from saying anything.

She put her hand on his elbow and started to pull him up. "Here, let me help you this time."

But Ryan just pulled away. "Um… huh?"

"You said you had to go to the bathroom. Let me help you."

"No. I, ah, no. I'm good."

Kirsten couldn't help but be annoyed, and that was noticeable in her tone. "Ryan, you need to let us help you."

Ryan pointed towards the bathroom. "Um… there? That? Ah…"

That's when Kirsten finally caught onto what Ryan was trying not to say, and she laughed. "Oh, no. I'll just help you into the bathroom. I promise, I won't try to help you in the bathroom."

If Kirsten was hoping that Ryan would laugh too, she was most likely disappointed when all she got was a slight nod. At least he was willing to let her help him to the bathroom. It was a small consolation at best.

They both moved slowly as Kirsten kept one arm around Ryan's waist and held onto his arm with her other, stopping just in front of the broken picture frame. Ryan watched as Kirsten bent down and picked up his picture and then kick the broken glass to the side. "Sorry I ruined it."

"Just the glass broke. Luckily the picture is fine, and the frame can be easily replaced." Kirsten placed the picture back on the dresser and smiled at Ryan as she once again put her arms around him. "Just be careful of the broken pieces. I don't want you to cut your foot."

"I clean it up first." Ryan tried to bend down, but Kirsten was holding onto him just a little too tightly.

"Ryan…" Her voice was soft even if her grip wasn't.

"No, s'kay. I got it."

"Really? How?"

Ryan looked down at the pile of broken pieces and then at Kirsten. "Um…" was all he said before he shrugged his shoulders.

"Exactly." Kirsten continued leading him into the bathroom. "You do what you need to do in here, and I'll do what I need to do out here. Deal?"

"Sorry."

"Just…" Kirsten started but then stopped and exhaled loudly. "Please let me know if there's a problem. If you get dizzy or feel sick or something. Okay? Please?"

Ryan again simply nodded as he shut the door, leaving Kirsten to clean up his mess.

When he came out a few minutes later, the broken glass was cleaned up, the covers as well as the pillows on the bed were smoothed and fluffed, and Kirsten was waiting.

Neither said anything as Kirsten stood behind him as he made his way slowly back to the bed. Ryan just sat and looked around. It was then that he noticed the baseball picture was now in a different frame, back in the same spot on Kirsten's dresser. The confused look on his face said it all.

"I took the frame from a different picture- one that I didn't like as much. Feeling better?"

"Uh huh."

"Good. Sandy went to go pick up your prescriptions and lunch. Do you think you're up for a trip to the kitchen for some homemade take-out?"

"No thanks. Just don't… Um, if okay, I stay here."

"Of course it's okay if you don't feel up to coming to the kitchen. It might be a better idea to have lunch in here. Then you can rest some more and be ready for Hanukkah dinner and celebration tonight."

Kirsten recognized the look on Ryan's face, even if he was choosing not to say anything. She knew what he was thinking. "Just stop. I want you to please stop right now."

"I don't…"

"Yes, you do, and I'm asking you to please stop it. You can't shut us out, no matter how hard you try. We will be here for you. No matter what."

She looked Ryan in the eyes and waited as he tried to look away, only glancing at her quickly, hoping she would look away as well. When she didn't, he finally looked at her and waited for whatever else she wanted to say.

Kirsten then did something she had done in the past, but not often. She leaned down and kissed Ryan's cheek. Gently she held onto his face so he couldn't look away. "I want you to remember that you're home now. Please try to remember that – you are home."

Since Kirsten made it impossible for him to turn his head or look down, he had not choice but return her gaze. She only held his face for a minute, even if it felt like longer. Ryan didn't say anything as he swallowed hard.

Kirsten pulled the covers back further. "Lie down. As soon as Sandy gets home, we'll bring lunch in."

Again Ryan just wordlessly nodded as he climbed into bed and stared up at the ceiling.

He didn't say anything as Kirsten arranged the covers around him and gave his shoulder a simple pat. "Lunch will be here soon."

The click of the door closing behind Kirsten finally made Ryan turn his head, catching that baseball picture out of the corner of his eye. He immediately recognized the 'new' frame – it was from a picture of Kirsten and Sandy at some Newpsie event. It was a really nice picture of the two of them, and yet, Kirsten replaced that picture with his Little League picture, from a time when Ryan didn't even live with them.

Ryan continued staring at the picture, not only remembering the day it was taken, but also remembering the day it came to Newport - almost the same time last year. It was his mother's idea of a Christmas gift, sending him all the pictures she had from when he was younger. Some gift, Ryan thought bitterly. It was just more proof that he really was completely and totally out of her life. She didn't even want to keep any of his pictures.

But he also remembered Kirsten's excitement when she saw the pictures, and how she spent a good hour going through them. She asked questions about a lot of them. When where they taken? How old was he? And then she asked if he would mind if she organized them for him. Ryan just shrugged at the time, not exactly sure what she meant by organizing them.

He found out a few days later when a few new photo albums suddenly appeared on the bookself next to Seth's. It was obvious when flipping through the pages that it must have taken Kirsten a great deal of time and energy putting the albums together.

Shortly after that, the framed pictures started popping up. The first one that Ryan noticed was in Kirsten's office. He had gone there to help with some project and saw it on her desk. The single picture frame of Seth in grade school was gone. Replaced with a double frame – Seth on the left and Ryan on the right. They were about the same age. Both were smiling, and both were displayed on her desk.

Right after that, Ryan found that baseball picture in her room. He went to get Kirsten's keys for her and there it was - his Little League picture, on her dresser, in a frame, sitting there as if it had been there since the day it was taken.

Ryan never asked her why exactly. All Kirsten ever said was that she liked the pictures; end of discussion.

It didn't take long before Ryan heard voices, and he knew Sandy was back. A short time later, the door opened and Kirsten came in carrying his lunch tray. Sandy followed behind her, also carrying a tray containing two more lunches.

"Hey, kid. We thought we'd join you for lunch."

"You don't…" Ryan stopped mid sentence and glanced at Kirsten. "Um, thanks."

"Sure, no problem. No one likes to eat alone."

Ryan stared down at his lunch and waited for the tag team parenting to begin. They both didn't have to have lunch with him, so that could only mean the talk was coming, from both sides. But for whatever reason, and Ryan was thankful for them, neither Cohen said anything about Seth or the accident, or asked how he was feeling. No in depth conversations at all.

Sandy told him about the medications – what they were, what they were used for, how long Ryan would have to take them and so forth.

Kirsten talked about the home health care worker that would be coming each day to check up on him – drawing blood, checking his dressings, and looking for signs of infection and so forth.

Then they talked about the weather and the Christmas tree and the great deli sandwiches and then the weather again. Finally they left Ryan to 'rest' until dinnertime, and Ryan breathed a sigh of relief that they actually didn't want him to talk. Yet.

Ryan got nervous for a second when Sandy came in a few hours later for dinner. He waited to see what Sandy would say, but was relieved when Sandy simply said, "Chow time." He then let Ryan walk unaided to the bathroom and then let him hobble towards the door by himself.

But once Ryan managed to make it down the three stairs, he felt Sandy's hand on his arm. Ryan glanced over his shoulder, wondering why Sandy would be stopping him, only to see Sandy pointing to the wheelchair. Ryan opened his mouth to argue, but Sandy shook his head and pointed to the wheelchair again.

"Too far to walk."

"Doctor said…"

"That you could walk short distances. The kitchen is too far."

Ryan groaned as he sat in the chair. The tone of Sandy's voice made it clear that arguing wasn't an option.

As Sandy wheeled him down the hall, Ryan noticed the darkened living room, with just the Christmas tree lights and fireplace illuminating the room. It was the same once they got to the kitchen – the only light coming from candles on the table. In the darkness, Ryan didn't even see Seth until Sandy pushed the chair up to the table.

The silence was awkward as neither boy said anything. They both concentrated on the empty plates in front of them.

The kitchen remained uncomfortably quiet as Sandy took each container of Chinese food, put some on his plate, passed the container to Seth, who put food onto his plate, passed the container to Kirsten who put food on her plate and then on Ryan's until everyone had a plate full of food. And no one started to eat.

Had Ryan bothered to look up from the mountain of food Kirsten had placed on his plate, he would have seen Seth stealing glances in his direction, Sandy looking at both boys and Kirsten looking at Sandy, imploring him to start the conversation.

Finally, Ryan felt a poke on his arm and looked over at Sandy, who was nudging him with a pair of chopsticks.

"Are chopsticks okay, or would you rather have a fork?"

"Chopsticks fine."

"Okay, so eat up. You, too, Seth. Let's all dig in. It's not hospital food. Ryan's home. It's still Hanukkah. We really do have something to celebrate tonight."

Ryan only gave a quiet, "mmm…" as he picked at his food, and just as Seth stuttered a "Um, yeah – welcome home."

It wasn't exactly a glare that Ryan gave him when he looked up, but it certainly wasn't a smile. It was more of a blank stare – he was confused that Seth would actually be talking directly to him. Ryan thought they finally had some sort of an agreement. Until he could figure out his feelings about Seth and the accident, Seth would leave him alone. Obviously, Seth just didn't get it, and Ryan was too damn tired to try to explain it to him yet again.

The rest of dinner continued to be uncomfortably quiet. Both Sandy and Kirsten attempted to make small talk, but succeeded in eliciting only one-word answers, grunts or mumbles from both boys.

The uncomfortable silence continued as the family moved to the living room. Ryan wasn't really paying attention to the activity around him as Sandy pushed his chair into the living room. He didn't bother to look up as Kirsten brought out the gifts, or when Sandy returned to the living room with the candles and the matches. He wouldn't look up when Seth pulled the Menorah from the fireplace mantel.

It wasn't until Sandy finally said, "Ryan" that he actually looked up, and despite the darkened room, he could still see all three of them looking at him.

"Sorry. Tired." He hoped that would be enough. That they'd let him go back to bed and skip this whole forced celebration. Since tired was usually all it took for them to leave him alone, he wasn't expecting the pat on the leg from Kirsten or her very simple, "You can go to bed when we're done."

Nor did he expect Seth to actually talk again. "If he's too tired, we don't have to do this. I can just go."

Go? Ryan wasn't sure what Seth meant by go. Kirsten had said that Seth was only at the Haunted Mansion until he was settled. Well, Ryan was back in their house, so where did Seth think he was going this time?

Ryan almost opened his mouth. He almost asked Seth the question, but Sandy spoke first. "No. We're all here now, and I think you both can manage a little celebrating."

His tone, once again, left no room for argument so Ryan figured it would be easier to just focus on something, anything in the room so he was 'there', but didn't have to say anything to anyone. He turned his head towards the fireplace and caught sight of the stockings.

All four stockings. All four identical stockings. Seth had made sure of that. All Seth had said when he gave it to Ryan was that they all wanted him to have one. He never told Ryan that he made the stocking, nor did Seth tell him that he had to go to a number of different craft stores in order to get the identical lettering and decorations so Ryan's stocking would look just like the rest.

It was the same with the stocking holders. Seth even bought four new stocking hooks so anyone who had never been in the house would think Ryan's stocking had always been there.

And yet, it wasn't Seth who told him about any of that. It was Kirsten who told him when he was helping her take down the decorations. Not because she wanted to, but because Ryan found the old stocking hooks and asked.

Ryan smiled slightly thinking about it, but then caught sight of Seth. He frowned again, pulling himself back to this holiday and the fact that he was in a wheelchair, his leg in a cast, his arm in a sling, with an ever present headache, no spleen and a very irritating inability to talk in complete sentences.

Stocking or no stocking, Seth was the reason for the nightmare of this holiday. He left. That day on the ladder Ryan needed him, and he just left.

Up on that ladder…so high up. Ryan looked down, knowing it would be okay. Even though the ladder moved, he'd be okay, because Seth was there. He was holding the ladder. He'd never let him down…

But Seth was gone. He left. The ladder shifted again and the ground was getting closer and closer…

Ryan jumped when Kirsten put a present on his lap. Since he hadn't been paying attention, he hadn't even noticed that they were moving onto presents. Not until Kirsten put it on his lap, bringing him back to reality. He jumped out of the wheelchair, dropping the present and scaring everyone around him.

Kirsten put her arm around his shoulder as Sandy quickly grabbed hold of his arm, keeping him from falling. They both began to speak at the same time.

"What's wrong?"

"Are you okay?"

"Sorry. Too tired. Need to go…to bed. Night." Ryan tried to hobble out of the living room, but Sandy still had his arm.

"Sit. I'll bring you back to the bedroom."

"No. It's 'kay. Living room to bedroom not too far. I'm fine."

Ryan pulled his arm free and hobbled as quickly as he could out of the living room and away from Seth and the stockings and the memories.

No sooner did they hear the click of the bedroom door than Seth looked at his parents. "I've got to go."

Seth was able to leave the room faster than Ryan, leaving Sandy and Kirsten standing alone in the middle of the darkened living room, with the unopened presents on the floor.

"Sandy…"

"I know. I'll talk to him in the morning."

"What are you going to say?"

"I'm not sure yet."

Kirsten waited a second before asking, "We are talking about Ryan, right?"

Sandy put his arms around her and pulled her close. "Yes, dear. This time we're talking about Ryan. I promise, I'll talk to him tomorrow."

"If it helps at all, it seems like Ryan is more upset than he is mad."

"I'm sure he's upset but also mad and hurt and confused. All of those things. I was hoping that coming home would help him begin to sort out those emotions."

Kirsten didn't say anything as she picked up Ryan's gift, went and got a bottle of water and his pills from the kitchen and went into the bedroom.

Ryan was already in bed, without his sunglasses and with his eyes closed. He took the pills from Kirsten and swallowed them with the water. Neither one of them said a word as Ryan lay back down in the bed, and Kirsten left the water on the nightstand and the present at the foot of the bed.

As Kirsten turned to leave, Ryan finally mumbled, "Thanks. Night."

"Night. Call if you need anything."

Ryan then waited for Sandy to make his appearance. He figured it was only a matter of time. Ryan was ready for him when he did come in a short time later.

But Sandy only stood in the doorway. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Tired. Real tired."

"Okay, then. We'll let you get some sleep."

"Thanks."

"See you in the morning, kid. Make sure you call us if you need something."

"Kay. Night."

Ryan lay there for a while after he heard Sandy leave. All the thoughts rattling around in his head made it difficult for him to relax and fall asleep. He wanted to sort them all out. He needed to figure them out. That much he knew. He just didn't know how.