Where Am I Going To?
Part Two
Chapter Nine
Run, run, run, must run, don't stop.
Panting, exhausted, Luke dodged root, limb and fog as he raced, trying to balance his physical exertion while listening to the Jedi master strapped to his back. It seemed….odd. He had expected Yoda to be like Obi-Wan; forgiving, understanding, and certainly human. Luke had expected to find another relationship consumed in love, a third father figure. He'd gotten nothing of the sort. He got a small green lizard thing that whacked him repeatedly with a his Gimer Stick should Luke fail in something, and that was something Obi-Wan had certainly never done.
Good, old soft touch Obi-Wan. Luke missed him desperately.
Yoda had demanded that he leave his attachments behind, which the boy was struggling to do, but did make it easier. He made no sort of move to allow Luke to anxiously suction himself to the Jedi. It was probably just as well.
"Run! Yes. Remember, a Jedi's strength flows through the Force. But beware the dark path." Luke found he had to stop, as if something was holding his legs down. "Anger, fear, aggression. Start down the dark path, you did, easily it flowed. Fight you now to regain peace." Luke panted, feeling as though his lungs were on fire. "If once you start down the dark path again, forever will it dominate your destiny. No escape a second time! Consume you, it will, as it did Obi-Wan's apprentice…."
After a moment, Luke managed to regain enough breath to whisper, "Father…Is it possible to become immune to the Dark Side?"
Yoda shook his head, and Luke felt as though the small Jedi master had grown inconceivably heavy. "No, no. Fight it constantly you must."
"But how am I to anchor myself in the Light?"
"You will know how. When you are calm, at peace."
Calm, yes…Luke took deep, slow breaths, closing his eyes against the gloom of the swamp. The very mist seemed to be sucked in with each breath he took, making him cough.
"Remember, a Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense. Never attack."
Luke's eyes opened, and he quickly asked, "But tell me why I can't-"
"No, no, there is no why!" No why? But…But…From the time Luke could talk he'd always been asking questions. The obvious five year old things, like who kept the stars in the sky, or how such and such a thing worked, or where things came from. But more than that he'd asked questions about his mother, about his father, the Jedi, the Old Republic. He'd asked questions about the Empire, what would happen when he got older and became Emperor. With Obi-Wan he'd asked about his mother, he'd asked about his father, the Force, loyalty. With Leia he asked about human nature. With himself….
Why am I like this.
"There is no why. Nothing more will I teach you today." Confused, Luke carefully began to shrug off the pack. "Clear your mind of questions, mmm…" Clear his mind of questions. How? That was a question.
No why. It didn't make sense, but he put out every effort not to question why he couldn't question. Instead, he busied himself by scooping his flight jacket from off the log where he'd dropped it, sliding his arms into it. He paused for a moment, shivering. Peering into the distance, he saw…no…he felt…something.
"Something's not right here…..I feel cold."
Yoda forlornly poked at the ground with his stick, shaking his head. "That place is strong with the Dark Side of the Force. A domain of evil it is. In it you must go."
Luke turned briefly around to stare at Yoda, blinking. Was he nuts? Just the brief exposure to the Dark Side on board the Death Star had been traumatizing. Yoda was actually purposefully sending him into evil?
The wordless, soundless language that was the Force replied that he must face it.
But will I come out conquering it or it me?
You will not know, he was told, he felt, until you try.
"What's in there?" he whispered, still trembling.
"Only what you take with you."
And he was packing enough emotional baggage for five people. Still, he cautiously began to strap his belt back on when he was interrupted by the Jedi master once again.
"Your weapons…you will not need them."
Luke glanced long and hard into the darkness before shaking his head no, and Yoda shrugged in response.
Better safe than sorry.
Without a backward look, he walked in.
…
He'd crawled into the cave warily, casting his eyes everywhere. Nervously, he pushed a snake away from a branch far too near his head for comfort before moving on. The Dark feeling only increased, and, instinctively, Luke unclipped his lightsaber.
And from the shadows, as if it had just materialized there, came….
Himself.
The Lord of the Sith he'd once been entered, smug, and just as powerful as ever, the pulsing red lightsaber held at the ready. Luke gasped, falling back, retreating in his brief moment of terror.
Why couldn't he breath?
He was pressed upon by himself, and ultimately had to raise the lightsaber to keep himself from getting killed. His movements felt slow, like he was moving through soup, or a dream. Block, slash, dodge, step, and the process was repeated until….
Nothing. His other self was suddenly gone, and the panting, tangible, real Luke was left to know it had only been a vision.
One that he'd never seen the end of.
Who could win such a battle? The Light he was trying so hard to obtain, or the Darkness he'd always been. He might never know. He was….afraid. He did not want to fight such a battle, he wanted no temptations. But come it would, he knew, and far sooner than he liked. Finally, he turned off his lightsaber, clipping it back to his belt, and scurried out of there as fast as he could.
He still could hardly breath.
…
"Tell me, this war, what do you fight?"
Luke looked up from his dinner, blinking momentarily. He carefully swallowed what he'd been chewing, puzzling over the question. "What do we fight?" The Jedi master nodded, and Luke sucked in a breath, trying to gather his thoughts. "Well, the Empire, Master Yoda, the-"
He stopped, as Yoda shook his head crossly, tapping his Gimer Stick on the ground to emphasize his point. "No! Trivial, that is. In the end, loss or win of such war matters not! See you not?" Luke stared at him, confused, and shook his head. The weary master sighed, seemingly dissatisfied. Well, what other reasons were there for joining the Rebellion? Luke had merely followed Leia, searching for a place he'd be accepted. Now he was, and fought the Empire. He'd sworn to, vowed to, and it struck him that in agreeing to go to Dagobah, he had sort of backed out of a promise to the Rebels. "Never were the Skywalkers a way to knock down tyrannical governments. A symbol, they were."
"I…I don't understand."
"See you, Luke, what you fight is not the Galactic Empire. If case that were, won by now, you would have."
Luke couldn't help but bristle. "Look, why don't you try taking on the whole Imperial Navy with the resources we have!"
"Listen you will!" And for his outburst Luke received a sharp whack from Master Yoda's stick. Luke quickly shut up. "What you are fighting, in end of the battle, is your worst enemy." Luke leaned in now, intrigued by the inflection in the Jedi's voice. "In the end, fighting yourself, you are."
The cave…
"A key you are, young Luke. Lost that fight, your father did, and of the Dark Side he became. That is why so important to the Jedi are you. To fight the Empire your destiny is not! To show others that you fight something far more terrifying it is. Giving them the courage to try, you are. But, lose should you, this all consuming battle, if fail in your destiny-"
"I will sooner die than face that," Luke vehemently swore. He'd said it before, he'd say it again. He would not go back to the Dark Side. "And die you will. Die. And be born into something else entirely."
The same question as before sprung up as Luke shivered, and he had to ask, "Am…Am I doomed to repeat the mistakes of others?"
"What believe you?"
"I believe that…I was told that….That we all are unique. That the end result depends on the person."
Yoda nodded sagely, satisfied. "Wise is the one who told you that."
Luke gulped, looking away. Leia. Leia had told him that. Sweet, perfect, wise Leia, who accepted him as he was, and demanded nothing of him. She understood him in the way that he didn't even understand himself.
Yes…she is….And I love her for it.
Aloud, he asked, "Is that true?"
Yoda carefully climbed back into his chair, looking very tired, and it left Luke to wonder exactly how old the Jedi master really was. Wearily, he responded, "Someday, know will you. Then, over, shall your battle be."
Luke gently tucked the ragged blanket around the tired lizard, settling back to watch him carefully.
"Then we see who you really are."
To Be Continued…
REVIEW AND DO IT NOW! Seriously, people, it's not that hard. I'm okay with you just saying "Cheese!" True, it makes no sense, but…I prefer longer ones, however. You know, some good feedback on what I did, what you liked, what could be improved, etc.
Stephanie C: Indeed. I was really looking foreword to that last scene with Yoda and Luke, and I think it turned out pretty dang spiffy!
PrincessSkywalkerOrgana: Thanks.
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Stefanie2: -bows- Thank you very much!
websurffer: Oh yeah. I am the ultimate in crafty.