Spring break in one week! PREPARE FOR MASS UPDATES, YO! Seriously.

Broke Back Mountain.

Ed awoke from his sleep hearing the most annoying sound. He tilted his head and yawned awake, stretched, stood and decided to find out what the hell just woke him from his much needed sleep. As he walked up the stairs of Winry's house, he knew the sound was from someone singing. Or rather, someone TRYING to sing. It sounded more like a wife castrating her husband.

As he neared the top floor, he could tell it was coming from the spare bedroom that he and Al were currently staying at.

"I'm gunna be a cowboy!" The voice sang out of tune.

Ed raised a brow. It didn't sound like Winry.

Ed slowly crept to the door and opened it to a crevice, revealing the next American Idle to totally suck, but still get a contract. He almost screamed when I he saw Al dancing around in front of a mirror wearing a cowboy outfit.

"Gonna go to the mountains, get plowed in my behindddddd!" Al chimed. He turned around, shoving his armor ass in front of the mirror and gave a shake that would put Shikera to shame. Just as he was about to sing something else, he noticed the door wasn't shut anymore. If Al could blush, he would be as red as pre-teens newly developed acne.

"Uh, it's not what it looks like!" Al stammered while ripping the outfit off.

Ed came out from hiding and sighed. "It's okay Al. I already knew. We ALL already knew."

Al felt even more embarrassed. "Uhm, so you're not freaked out?"

"Oh of course not, Al!" Ed cried while wrapping his brother in a gentle hug. "We all know you saw Broke Back Mountain!" Ed started to sob. "I didn't mean for you to see it! You're too young! Oh Al, that movie confused you!"

By now Al was dumbstruck with Ed crying hysterically in his arms.

"It's okay Al, we'll fix this. After we find the Philosopher's stone we'll for straight to a strip club! That'll fix you, I promise!" Ed looked at Al with teary, pleading eyes. "Okay Al?"

"But Ed, I-"

Ed shook his head violently. "NO! I won't have it! Where did you get the DvD for Broke Back Mountain? WHERE AL?"

Al said nothing.

"TELL ME!"

Al looked up and said, "You're suitcase."

Broke Back Mountain is ghey. If you don't know what that is...where the hell do you live? In a box?

I LIVE IN A BOX BEHIND BURGER KING.