Where Am I Going To?

Part Two

Chapter Fourteen

She was staring off into space, the glittering galaxy so close, shinning, shinning, shinning. Splitting the darkness. No darkness could conquer such bright and awesome glory. That was what he was thinking as he delicately wrapped an arm – now with a new hand – around her shoulder. She wasn't thinking anything like that. She was just watching the ship disappear into it.

Han….

Gone. Would she, could she get him back? Did he love her? He'd never said he did.

But Luke had, and it was this very thing – this love of his – that he was determined to either let live or die once and for all.

"Leia?" he asked her calmly, brushing away a rebellious strand of her silky brown hair. "I….I really need to talk with you."

Leia's insides froze up. "Yes…" she whispered absent mindedly. With Luke in perfect health, she could no longer distract herself over his wounds, leaving her to wallow in the shell of misery that lived without knowing where the man she loved was. "Yes, we do need to talk."

Luke took a deep breath, just watched her. His heart was hammering in his chest. She was so beautiful, and so perfect, and so…. "I-"

"Let me go first," she insisted, now whirling to face him, gently shrugging off his arm.

He blinked, surprised. "Of course."

"I know you're still in love with me."

"Well, I-"

"And that's why I think you need to go far away. Or I need to go far away." Her hands flew to her face as she paced, shaking. "Oh, somebody does. But I don't know what's up or down or anything anymore."

Stunned, Luke just watched her wear a hole in the ship floor, staring, slack jawed. "Away?" he finally whispered hoarsely.

"It's because I don't want to hurt you," she explained, seizing his hands in hers, turning to face him. "And I know I will. I know I am. But I just can't….I told you I'd try, I'd give it serious thought, falling in love with you. It's been almost three years, and I can't, I just can't! I'm so sorry, Luke, please forgive me." She leaned her head onto his shoulder and began to cry. He made no move to comfort her, feeling as though something was kicking his insides out. "I am so, so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, I never, ever did. I do care about you, but I….I tried to deny it so strongly, but I am in love with Han, I know that now."

Han. Somehow, he always ended up on top, didn't he? Luke could feel cold, heavy tentacles of the Dark Side begin to try and wrap around him, and he rebuffed them with renewed ferocity.

"And it's only going to hurt you more if we're anywhere near each other." She pulled away now, and Luke continued to just stare. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I…I think I'll just go now, somewhere, anywhere. I…." She tried to think of something to say, but just shook her head.

She walked across the room. Away from him. She was leaving.

Luke blinked, trying to understand.

She was leaving….

You can't!

"No," he whispered hoarsely, still not moving. "No, you can't…." She didn't hear him. He lunged foreword all at once, still meters away from her, crying out desperately. "Stop!" She stopped, turned, waited breathlessly. He shivered, mouthed soundless words like a fish. What was going on? He felt like something inside of him had just shattered into a thousand pieces. But all he knew were the words, "Keep her, keep her, keep her," pounding through his brain, and he knew, he knew he could not let her leave him all alone.

He took a few steps towards her, and then stopped. He tried to start again, but thought better of it. "Please don't go away." Was he crying? That must be it. "Please? No one's ever….they never…" He paused, swallowed, tried again. "No one's ever just accepted me the way you have. They've always put me on a pedestal, or demanded even more – maybe more than I can give – or they haven't given a damn about whether I've lived or died but you do. You hold no standards, you…." He struggled for the right words. "You are patient with me. I don't understand it, I don't have to. All I know is that I've loved you right from the start."

"Luke, please, I-"

"And if you leave…..If you leave….I just…." What? "I….I feel better around you, I do, I….Look….I remember my mother, and so many other things, so many pleasant things. I remember, I do. It's there, I know it is, because when I look at you….." His blue eyes met her brown ones, and he knew that he could not let her leave. "I can feel it. And I….I look at you and…"

They simultaneously took a few steps closer to each other, just within reaching distance, but they did not reach out, and they moved no further than that. "I'm home," he sobbed, putting his face in his hand for a moment to control his emotions. "Please. I don't want that feeling to go away. I don't want to forget."

She hesitated toward him for a moment, but decided better. "I can never love you the way you want me to."

He chocked down his tears, shaking his head. "I don't care. Han can have you, he can, you can give him all your love. It doesn't matter. Just don't send me away, please, Leia, don't leave me alone again. Everyone always leaves me, and I'm just stuck here, alone and…and I…."

They fell into each other's embrace, holding tightly, never letting go. Home, yes, they were. They were home. "You can love Han," he cried in a whisper. "You can, I still love you, I can never stop loving you. I can't. I tried so hard….Don't leave me alone."

"I won't," she soothed, stroking his hair.

"Say you still care about me."

"I always will."

"Then that's enough."

He would make it enough.

…

Luke stood, shoulders heaving with the exertion of his angry breath, smoking blaster in hand. The attacker lay dead a foot or so away from him, ceasing to twitch from its final moments of agony. Lando, Chewie, Leia, they all just stared at him for a moment, breathless. Luke's left eye twitched spasmodically for a moment before he stared disgustedly at the crude weapon in his hand before tossing it away, revolted.

It had been six months since Luke's fight on Bespin, and he was now twenty one, a fully grown adult. And that was the third assassin this month.

"That's it!" The three males ducked in terror at the rage of the female companion, storming past Luke and towards the base computer library. "Enough of this, I'm sick and tired of it. I'm finding out who is at the bottom of this, or…or so help me, I'll-"

"Leia!" Luke pleaded, leaping gracefully over the body of the fallen and chasing after her. "Leia, please, don't do this."

"Forget it, Luke, there's nothing you could say to get me to change my mind."

Luke paused, nearly running into a rather confused secretary, whose eyes followed them down the hall. "Leia, honestly, it's just a few assassination attempts, I can handle it!"

"You had your chance."

"Leia."

"No!"

"Oh, come on, I'm a big kid!" He finally came to a skidding halt as she plunked down a computer, Lando sliding into a seat next to her. Chewie stood behind Luke, cocking his head and giving a rumble-y estimate of what he thought of the situation.

"Good point, Chewie," agreed Lando, but Luke didn't pay them any attention.

"Really," he argued. "I've survived assassination attempts since I was seven, this is no big deal!" Lando opened his mouth, but Luke quickly cut him off with a, "Not one word, Lando."

"Whatever you say."

"Luke," Leia reprimanded harshly, swiveling around in her chair, "I am not going to sit back and do nothing while these…these…criminals infiltrate the base, murder guards, and proceed to either murder you or possibly gather sensitive information about the rebellion. Now, you can either sit down, shut up, and thank me for trying to save your hide, or you can-"

"Now, just a minute! I've already proven I'm more than capable of taking care of myself."

"Well-"

"Shut up, Lando."

He sighed. "Never mind, then."

"Leia?" Luke pleaded for a final time. She pursed her lips and glared at him, and he threw his hands into the air. Damn, impossible woman! Let's just see Han cope with one of her obstinate moods. Oh, maybe he was just escaping a bad divorce on this one.

But then, he doubted that.

"Fine, have it your way! I give up!" He then slammed gloomily into a chair, which is where Wes found him only a few seconds later.

"Hey, Luke, can you-"

"Go to hell, Wes."

"Okay…" he backed off. "Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed." But then, he wasn't about to tempt fate and rile Luke up anymore than he already obviously was.

"Bad day," explained Lando, and Chewie nodded.

Wes shook his head, sighing. "Never mind, I'll go ask Tycho."

It was always a bad day when those two argued. "Jeeze, Chewie," Lando muttered. "You'd almost think they were siblings!"

To Be Continued….

Well, that's that for ESB, but Part Two – also known as Part Insanely Long – still isn't over yet. On to an actually altered version of Shadows of the Empire! That's right, I'm not being "lazy," and am actually doing a slightly altered version of events! Also, I would like to remind you all about the contest I announced a few chapters back. I only got two entries, and I need at least three. So, I'm extending the deadline to the 25th of September, so GET THOSE ENTRIES IN! If I don't get at least three entries, the whole thing is void, and no one gets a prize. And that wouldn't be fun, would it? So, go ahead!

HermioneSkywalker: Actually, apart from like a grand total of half an episode, I've never watched Charmed, nor know much of anything about it. Sorry. Thanks for the complement, though

xInuyashaxangelx: well, if you need me to explain it more, you can e-mail me. I love getting e-mail! Now, who said anything about Luke and Leia being related? Is there any evidence to suggest that? No, or is there? MUAHAHAH!

Stephanie C: Yup Lil' Lukie's obtained inner peace. –waves flag-

darth mojo the spork: Thanks! If you have any questions, just send an e-mail

East Coast Ryder: Well, school doesn't start till Wednesday, so we'll see -.

Shi Feng Huang: Awwww. I made you cry? I like doing that. Not like going over to a kid and punching them till they cry, I like having brought someone past that emotional cusp. Thank you!

denique: Wow! High praise indeed.

PrincessSkywalkerOrgana: Why the sad smilie? I'm sorry –patpat-