There were unfolded moving boxes on the bed. Ochaco rolled up her sweater sleeves and grabbed the packing tape. Methodically, she bent the cardboard as the dotted lines indicated, glancing all the while at the door.
He still wasn't home yet, and it had been two days.
She would've been more worried if she wasn't already overwhelmed with an aching emptiness that scratched at her ribcage with each thump of her heart. The tension in her mind was making her sweat, and she wiped her forehead with a shaky hand.
Finished with the boxes, she gently pulled open the dresser drawer and started meticulously folding her clothes. The soft cotton and linen of her shirts caught on her dry skin, and she almost wished the material would snag, just so she'd have something to get angry about.
She desperately wanted to feel something again, even if it was boiling magma rolling through her veins.
The door to the apartment opened at that moment, and she froze for a second, gathering her thoughts. Then, she swiftly slid the boxes to Izuku's side of the bed before she could change her mind. She was itching for one last fight, one last opportunity for him to show he had any sort of passion left towards her, and blocking his only path to rest might just do it.
She closed her eyes in anticipation as his footsteps neared the bedroom. The clump, clump, clump echoed the thuds of her heartbeat in her ears.
He appeared in the doorway, his costume ripped and dirty, and she could see his eyes tiredly analyze the situation. Like a deer in headlights, she stood still and warily watched for his reaction.
His face showed nothing as he slowly turned around and went to the living room. Springs squawked as he settled on the couch. Her nails bit into her palms and tears welled in her eyes, and searing hurt swelled within her for the first time in months. She took a deep breath, murmuring to herself, "I just can't do this anymore…" almost as if she was pleading with herself to understand.
Shaking her head, she continued on to the next box. She picked out her knick-knacks from the collection on the dresser and threw them on the bed, pausing as she eyed the framed pictures on the wall. One picture in particular was her old favorite… Izuku had his arms around her, and she was giggling, her eyes shut in mirth. Besides the playfulness of the shot, what really stood out was the tender look on Izuku's face as he smiled down at her.
Maybe she should take it, if only to remember what Izuku loving her was like. It was hard to remember anymore.
Suddenly, a sharp siren pierced the air, and she instinctively ran to the bedroom window. Seeing dark smoke billowing out from an apartment building down the street, Ochaco swiftly pulled up the blinds and unlatched the panes of glass. Hesitating, she glanced towards the living room. 'Should I wake Deku…?'
No, he was obviously exhausted, and she was a rescue hero in her own right. She was better equipped for this, anyways.
Besides, she didn't know if she could face him again so soon after that sharp rejection.
She touched her fingertips together and threw herself out the window, the shock of cold air drying her tears.
When she reached the neighboring building, her mind was blissfully clear. She took a moment to study the scene in front of her. The building was older and squat, only three or four floors tall. The paint on the stucco was fading, and it was probably a calming cream in its prime; now, it was a pale, putrid grey that contrasted greatly with the flames licking up the sides. The air was filled with ash, and she covered her nose with the brim of her sweater. The bottom floor was nearly decimated - studs and peeling drywall were all that remained. 'That must've been the source of the fire.'
Spotting a pair about a hundred meters from the apartment, she dashed over. She dodged broken glass and chunks of stucco, aware that only her sneakers were protecting the soles of her feet from being punctured.
"Tsunami, what's the status?" she barked at a familiar blue-clad hero, and he stopped his conversation with his sidekick to turn to her. The rookie hero ran off, muttering into a radio.
"Uravity, I'm surprised to see you," Tsunami greeted, lifting his blue-tinted visor to give Ochaco a grim half-smile. Tsunami was an older man with a gruff voice and intimidating blue eyes, but from her previous encounters with the water-based hero, Ochaco had always known him to be kind and gentle.
"I live in the area. I don't have my support equipment, but I can still help." She stopped herself from sheepishly rubbing the back of her neck and instead started analyzing the building.
"More hands will definitely make this easier. I was just about to use the fire hydrant to put the fire out, but it turns out this one hasn't been in service for quite a while. It isn't even hooked up to the main line." He chuckled wryly. "I think blowing out the sewers below to access water would cause even more damage to the structure, so I'm sending my sidekick to find another few hydrants. The firefighters should be here soon to assist." Tsunami wiped his forehead wearily, smearing soot on his pale skin. His bare hands, usually wielding water, were in fists.
"Are we in the process of evacuating? How did the fire start? Is the building safe enough to enter?" Adrenaline was coursing through her veins, and she just wanted to jump into the fray.
"There are a few heroes assisting with evacuation, so if you want to aid them from outside, go ahead. I don't think you should go inside without your helmet on to protect you. The building should hold for a few more minutes. As for the origin of the fire, we aren't sure yet, but it is looking like foul play. The building's sprinkler system hasn't activated, and the water supply has been shut off for the whole block."
"That is suspicious," Ochaco agreed, cracking her knuckles. "I'll go 'n assist the evacuation group."
"Thanks, Uravity, and be careful." He gave her a parting, fatherly pat on the shoulder. With a determined smile, she leapt into action.
The next few minutes were a mix of introductions and reassurances and repeatedly using her quirk to help lower victims to the ground. Heat was radiating off the building, and Ochaco wished she had taken a moment to put on her hero suit as she blinked ash and dirt out of her eyes. Her stomach was churning, although the feeling was more comforting than anything - it meant she was doing her job.
'Gotta save people, gotta save people.' The familiar mantra ran through her head. The smoke got darker and smellier as it ate up more resources, and she coughed and hacked as her lungs struggled for oxygen.
She had stepped away to take in gasping breaths of cleaner air when she miraculously heard it over the crackling of the fire and the creaking of the building - a child's telltale wail. With burning eyes, she stared up at the building, searching. Most of the windows were blown out… Finally, she found the source of the scream. Almost directly above her, there were little fists pounding on the glass.
"There's kids up there!" she cried, and she heard Tsunami yell in response, "Where?! Stay out here, Uravity!"
'What would Deku do?'
The thought came instinctively, and she let loose a growl of frustration.
"There's no time!"
Ochaco ignored the shouts behind her as body lunged forward, and she took away her gravity as she lunar-jumped to the building. Her fingers gripped the window ledges, and she shimmied towards the sole intact window. She waved a hand at the child - no, children - staring wide-eyed at her to move. They scrambled back after a heart-pounding moment. With a grunt, she released her quirk. Gripping the decorative ledge above the window precariously, she kicked the glass with all her might. The force from her leg shattered the window, and she wrapped her sweater sleeves around her fingers as she removed pieces of the broken glass. She carved out an entrance large enough to fit through and slipped inside.
She coughed as smoke billowed past her out through the open window, and her throat felt raw as she croaked out, "I'm Uravity! I'm here to help you!" She couldn't see anything in this smoke…
Recalling years of fire safety courses she took while in school, she dropped to her knees. 'Smoke rises. Get below it.'
Now she could see the two children sprawled on the floor. The boy was no older than ten, while the girl looked like she was maybe five or six. Ochaco's eyes stung as she gestured at them to come towards her.
The boy reached out and pushed his sister towards her. The small girl gratefully jumped into Ochaco's arms, and the anti-gravity hero shuffled the pair towards the window, petting the girl's hair all the while. There were tear-stains and soot on the children's faces, and Ochaco wondered how long they had been in there and if anyone else was trapped in the building. The boy tugged at Ochaco's arm, breaking her short reverie, and she glanced down as she stood the little girl up in front of the window.
"You g-gotta help me, Miss Uravity! Our mom… she isn't moving!"
Ochaco's stomach dropped, even as she spit out, "Where is she? I'll get 'er out!"
"She's in the bathroom! She was trying to fill the bathtub or something when she just fell over," the little boy cried, obviously trying to keep it together for his sister by the stiffness of his bottom lip.
Ochaco's heart ached as her mind raced. She had no idea where the bathroom was in this apartment, but her priority was getting the children out of the building as fast as possible.
"Thanks, little man. You're doin' a great job at protecting your family. Now, go with your sister," she gently ordered, taking the gravity of the children. She knew she had precious minutes left to rescue the mother and herself before the building collapsed, but she allowed the kids a few seconds to get used to the sense of weightlessness before she tossed them out the window.
The children cried out as they floated towards the ground. Peering out the window while taking gulping breaths, Ochaco saw that Tsunami had caught the kids. She released her quirk with a quick clap of her hands before diving back in.
The carpet was starting to smoulder, and she tucked her fingers into her palm as she quickly crawled through the apartment. Taking shallow breaths, she tried waving the smoke away with her fists to see better. She struggled down the hallway, sweat pouring down her neck from the heat. Finally, her eyes spotted tile, and she sighed with relief, feeling her strength wane with each breath of smoke she inhaled.
"Ma'am, can you hear me?" she gasped out. "I'm here t-to help!" She coughed into her sweater again, tears dripping down her face.
Ochaco dragged herself to the body on the bathroom floor, fingers scrabbling at the hot tile. She shakily pulled the woman to her and felt around for her throat. Her pulse was faint and slow.
"I'll protect you," she vowed, taking away the woman's gravity.
She sluggishly made her way back down the hallway, dragging the victim behind her like a morbid balloon. Sweat poured in rivulets down her face, dripping in her eyes. Her sweater stuck to her like a second skin, and the soles of her shoes were starting to melt. Finally making it to her entrance point, she shoved the woman out the window.
Filled with relief and feeling extremely drained, she collapsed back onto her hands, coughing violently. It felt good to just lay down in this warm cocoon...
'No time... Gotta get up.'
Struggling to get her shaking arms and legs to cooperate, she growled and started dragging herself up to the height of the window again.
'I can't give up... Still have more people to save…'
Her vision was fading, her breaths coming in quicker and quicker as her lungs couldn't find enough oxygen in the air.
With her last bout of strength, she heaved her body over the window frame.
Then, she was falling, and although the biting wind was speeding past her, time seemed to slow down. She couldn't breathe. She was suffocating while surrounded by clean air. Her lips twitched at the irony as she stared at the sky above her. 'I wonder if Deku will miss me,' was her last thought before she hit the ground.
The first thing she noticed was the intense and overwhelming pain all over her body.
The second thing she noticed was a familiar sound.
Beep... Beep… Beep...
'Augh, that damned alarm clock…'
Ochaco instinctively reached out to turn it off before noticing that something was attached to her hand.
She hesitantly prodded at the strange object protruding from her skin's surface with her other hand. It was some sort of tube… A stiff bandage covered her palm, and her left arm was in a… cast?
Her eyes fluttered open, staring at the dimly-lit white ceiling above her.
'This isn't my room.'
Memories of the smoke-filled apartment and falling through the sky flooded her senses, and she involuntarily shuddered and took a gasp of clean air. Oxygen was being pumped through little tubes in her nose, and she took a moment to just breathe.
Lifting her head, she gingerly propped herself up on her right elbow. Pain shot through her temples at the swift movement, and she winced. A chair creaked to her left as a scarred hand made its way into her view, gripping the railing on her bed.
Her eyes followed the hand wearily, noting the scratched, worn ring on his finger, up the arm, and to the weary face it belonged to. He was still in his smelly, torn costume from earlier. Her mind was swirling with so many questions, but she couldn't bring herself to ask them.
"Y-you probably shouldn't move. You have a pretty bad head injury," Izuku explained gently, leaning back into his chair as he shakily ran a hand through his green locks.
Head and heart pounding, Ochaco's eyes filled with tears, and she turned her face away. Those words were so full of care, she could almost trick herself into believing…
There were just the sounds of the heart monitor and her breathing apparatus between them.
As she sat there, shoulders slumped in her hospital bed, her confusion morphed into a deep anger. It was bubbling, curdling in the pit of her stomach like acid, and she felt her adrenaline spike as if preparing for a battle.
'After all this time… why is he here?'
All the times that he had left her in the cold, all the times that he had rejected her love, all the times he made her feel less than worthless… and for what? Grief? Some misplaced sense of pride? Lack of love and respect?
'I needed him so much these past months. Why now?'
She shook her head, letting out a bitter laugh. She felt Izuku's startled gaze on her, and her fury grew.
The year and some she wasted on him. The tears she cried for them. All of it was fueling her.
She thought she had burned in that apartment building, but now she truly knew how flames felt.
"Why are you here?" she spat, barely able to get the words out as her hands tightly gripped the cool white sheets in her lap. Pain shot through her hands, but the adrenaline quickly soothed her aches.
Izuku was silent.
She glanced back over at him impatiently.
"Well?!" she cried, chewing on the word.
He was hunched, his face hidden by his unruly bangs as he murmured something unintelligible.
Her first instinct was to be gentle, and that enraged her even further. She clenched her fists.
As she went to open her mouth, to scream and yell and cry at him, Izuku finally looked up at her. The expression on his face… she could feel the anguish radiating off of him. It stopped her short.
"You're leaving me, aren't you?"
She nodded, a small sliver of hope rising in her…
He dipped his head again. "... Okay," he said meekly.
She saw red.
"Okay? Okay?! That is the only thing you have to say?!" Ochaco croaked, and Izuku shrunk back in his chair with wide eyes.
"I… I just want you to be happy," he squeaked, his hands in the air.
"Happy?! No, you don't get to pull that card." Her chest was heaving for air, yet she persisted, her body trembling. "You haven't cared about my happiness for a long time now. All you have cared about is yourself - your grieving, your career!" she sobbed, staring him down. "You are selfish, Izuku."
She took a moment to breathe, but the breaths were shallow, quick, and not satisfying. Ash and smoke were filling her lungs again, but it was from her trying to burn their last remaining bridge.
"I tried so h-hard," she said through hiccups and snot, and she pinned her gaze on the ceiling. "I tried to help you. I begged you to let me in. You refused and left me behind. I'm just so…GAH!" Her shriek of frustration felt like a release, and she sank back into her pillow with the force of her exhaustion.
He just kept staring at her with those big eyes, and she laid her head back, her tears rolling into her hair. She was so tired.
"You left me behind." Her voice broke on the last word, and she turned her face away. It was easier to be vulnerable and honest when not facing those wide, green eyes. "We made a promise to each other to love each other through thick and thin…." She left the next words unsaid, the hurtful truth on the tip of her tongue. '...But I don't even know if I love you anymore.'
There was tense silence between the two, and Ochaco closed her eyes as she took in shaky breaths, wishing she could just go back to warm oblivion. She was cold and spent.
Ochaco wasn't sure if it was a few minutes or a few hours, but he finally spoke.
"I... I was in this… fog," Izuku haltingly started, his voice thick. He cleared his throat nervously. "Just going through the motions… I've dealt with pain before, but nothing could've prepared me for losing…" he choked back a sob. My inspiration. My reason for existing. She could imagine him saying the words clearly in her mind.
'Me too,' she wanted to say. However, she held her tongue. His head was on the bed rail as his wide shoulders shook with barely-restrained grief.
"I always took you for granted," he continued, his voice husky as he looked without seeing at the floor. "I know that. I… I just thought you'd always be at my side no matter what I did… because I couldn't possibly imagine a future without you. You were just always there." He took a deep, shuddering breath. "You're right. I was - no, am selfish. If I ever even considered how my actions were affecting you, I reasoned that you were happier without me bringing you down. I tried to tell myself that you were fine and that I was the only one hurting. The misery just sucked me in, and I didn't want it to change. It felt… almost good to hurt, like I deserved it for not being able to save him." He wiped his dripping nose. "Almost losing you today, though…" he hunched back over, tears dripping down his pale cheeks. "It woke me up. All I could think about was you and the boxes on the bed and…" He gulped, and his voice sounded smaller, "...how much I've screwed everything up." He dissolved into soft sobs. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…"
Ochaco pondered his words.
She hurt. He hurt. Everything hurt so badly. But maybe, just maybe, their relationship was the one thing that didn't have to hurt anymore...
Did his explanation make up for the neglect? No, and it'd take a lot more than words to forgive. It would take action, repeated until her doubts drowned in evidence. She had a feeling the path to healing was rocky, long, and winding.
However, that path seemed a lot less daunting if she had a willing partner beside her.
Did she even want to forgive him? Did she want to open herself to more possible hurt from him? She recoiled at the thought.
Was any of this worth it? Was he worth it?
She recalled the moment everything changed for her, the moment that made everything that followed worth it. "Deku is the name of a hero!"
This boy - no, man - who completely flipped her world on its head with a few simple words. He had been inspired by her, just as she had been by him and his courageous actions. That was when she realized that she could make a real difference in another's life.
Her parents were the reason behind her wanting to become a hero, but Izuku was the one who inspired and drove her to be her best. Just his existence kept her going when it would've been so easy to quit.
She recalled the Deku of old, who was filled to the brim with compassion and fortitude. The Deku she fell hopelessly in love with.
Could she love this new, broken Izuku? Could he love her, fractured into pieces as she was?
She sighed, feeling her chest warm against the odds. She already knew the answer.
She would always love him, the stubborn hero who had no one to save him.
No one but her.
"Please… you don't have to forgive me. I've done too much to warrant that. Just… please promise me you'll be happy…"
Izuku's whimpered words broke her from her trance.
She stared at his forlorn face, trying to find a hint of his old self in there. She wouldn't fool herself into thinking he'd ever be the same, but maybe with a little bit of help, he could be a semblance of what he used to be.
Could that be enough for her?
The truth was... she missed him. She missed him so much that the longing in her hurt as much as her broken body did.
"Izuku…" she murmured, before clearing her throat, suddenly nervous.
Did he even still want her?
"Maybe we could… try… again," she whispered.
At first, it seemed like he hadn't heard her. Then, he lifted his head and gazed at her with such warmth that it thawed what was left of her frozen body.
"Really?" he asked softly, flexing his fingers on the hospital bed railing.
She nodded slowly, careful not to jostle her head too much, and a radiant smile split Izuku's face as tears trailed down his freckled cheeks. She felt her own lips turn upwards.
"O-okay," he agreed. Then, he tentatively leaned forward and brushed his hand against hers. It was a very light touch, just pinkie against pinkie, really. However, it was more than she had experienced in over a year, and her chest swelled with emotion.
She could feel herself sinking into an old comfort she hadn't felt in a long time. There was a tinge of something new to it that hadn't been there before - distrust? Fear? She was too tired to identify it, but she knew it would be their companion for a while more.
There was another new feeling there, too, though, that made her breaths come easier and her eyes slide closed trustfully as their pinkies entwined. It was slight, so slight that she could barely feel its fluttering, but it was there. Hope.