Tristan's Peace - Chapter 15
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters that you may recognize from King Arthur. Nor do I own any that you may recognize from the Dark Hunter Series by Sherrilyn Kenyon. I am merely playing with them for a time. So please don't sue me, I have no money. Nada, zippo, zilch.
A/N: Have just spent some time back reading this story. And I'm going to pat myself on the back. I really like this thing. I'm actually sitting back in my chair going "I like this. This is good." I just hope you all think so. Seems a bit slow as I realize only about 48 hours have passed since the start. And that's okay. A lot is happening. And we will get to the meatier things.
And even though I know people are reading it, I'd like to see more.
To all my reviewers: I'm not going to reply personally this chapter as this one is very long. I'll play catch up with the next. Please read and review. Hope you all like it. More flashbacks from both T & T.
2005
Both Tristan and Teagan sat together on the bench. Underneath the apple tree. Neither wanting to talk, each in their own thoughts.
Teagan was thinking about something Ash had told her. A thought that was nagging the back of her mind. An idea that Artemis had put into Tristan's head. Then letting his naturally suspicious mind take it from there.
That she had cheated on Tristan with his brother Galen. She hadn't. Tristan had to know she hadn't. But, he hadn't talked about it. In fact, Tristan hadn't said much of anything. Her mind went back, trying to figure out how and why he would think that.
No matter how she tried, she couldn't figure it out. But she remember her happiness at seeing him again. It had felt so good to touch him, knowing he was actually still living.
Teagan didn't go and rest like she told Victor she would. She had waited so long to see Galen that she couldn't contain herself. She needed to make sure he was whole.
Now.
She found him as he was just walking out of the stables. What looked like saddlebags slung over his shoulders. He noticed her as soon as she did him.
Both faces became happy faces. The relief evident in both.
"Galen!" Teagan squealed in happiness. She ran into Galen's open arms, hugging him tight. The force of their impact nearly causing him to fall over.
"Galen. It is so good to see you again." The words muffled in his chest. She didn't want to let him go.
Galen hugged her back. "It is good. It has been too long." He pushed her away, just a bit. He needed to warn her. Now. "Be careful of Victor. He is still after you. He sent Justus after you, but that foul thing never returned."
"Thank you for the warning. Am I in danger?" She didn't let him know that she had already seen Victor. He skin was still crawling with that meeting.
Galen nodded. "I don't think he will hurt you. But he plans on taking you away, married or not. He has been planning this for many years. Rumor has it that your husband killed off Justus. He plans on killing your husband."
Teagan snorted. Of he only knew the truth about Justus' demise. "The knights of this fort will never allow that. They are family to me."
"Then you need to flee. Soon. I don't know what he plans to do, but..." He wanted to tell her all he had heard. Suspecting that Victor had somehow let him overhear his plans for her. Knowing full well that he would tell her as soon as he got the chance.
Teagan interrupted. "Galen, do not worry. I almost hope Victor tries violence. Arthur will do his best to get you here. You can finish the rest of your service here. Under Arthur."
"But Arthur's knights. They are free men. And they stay?" Not one knight he knew had stayed with his Roman Commander once his service was over.
She nodded. "They are good men. Arthur is a good man. A great leader. Our King."
Galen shook his head. He had heard about King Arthur and his round table knights. "That later. You need to get away from here. Is there no place you can go?"
Teagan put her hand on her growing belly. "I can't ride."
Galen noticed. He cocked a dark eyebrow. "Can you send a rider? To where your knights are?"
"I will. Merlin can send one of his tribe. They help me out in the infirmary while Dag is away."
His eyes grew big. "But Merlin is a woad." Maybe all the rumors he heard were true. Enemies uniting.
"Woad, yes. And our ally. Our Queen, Arthur's wife, is woad. She is with her people now."
Teagan smiled to herself, sparing a glance at Tristan, remembering when she realized that Galen was his brother. He wasn't looking at her, his eyes closed and his head back against the large trunk of the apple tree. He wasn't sleeping, but merely resting. His fingers making lazy circles on her thigh.
Galen and Teagan were sitting on the wall, looking at the stars. Teagan looked at her friend. She hadn't seen him since they trained together all those years before. He should be ending his term of service soon. He was as handsome as she remembered. His dark eyes. His dark hair, that tended to be wild. She reached out and gently tugged on one of the plaits. The plaits reminded her of Tristan's. In fact...
"Galen? Do you have any brothers?"
"Yes. An older brother and older sister." He looked at her and saw confusion written on her face. "Why?"
Teagan didn't answer, she just stared at Galen intently, trying to find something.
Galen just shook his head, smiling. He looked again to the stars.
"I can't believe I didn't see it sooner." She whispered. More to herself than anything.
If she looked hard enough, it was there. The same dark eyes and nose. The dark hair with the braids. Galen's mouth was different, smaller. And Galen was not as tall as Tristan, but broader, much like Gawain. But the resemblance was there.
"See what, love?"
She touched his cheek. "You have no tattoos. Why not?"
Galen's voice got quiet, thoughtful. "Because that honor fell to my brother. But he was taken."
Teagan caressed his cheek again. She decided to do some fishing, just to make sure her hunch was right. "Do you miss your family?"
"I do. My brother especially. He taught me so much. He knew that the Romans would come for us. Though they did not come until he was twenty. He taught me everything he knew."
"I can't believe I missed it."
"Missed what?"
Teagan smiled at Galen. "You two are so different." And they were. Where Tristan was quiet and controlled, Galen was friendly and, at times, boisterous. These two were very similar in the way Dagonet and Bors were. In fact, Galen reminded her of Lancelot. No wonder Tristan took to him like he had. At the thought of her friends, she smiled sadly. She missed them.
Galen noticed the smile. "Woman. What are you talking about?"
She decided to give in. Just a little. To see if he was as easy to goad as his brother. "Did anybody tell you who I was wed to?"
Galen shook his head. "No. They are only saying that it is one of Arthur's knights."
"Yes, that's right. Have you met any of those knights?"
He gave her a strange look. She was hedging. It was the same look that Tristan gave her when he was getting frustrated at her. "Woman, you are getting to something. Just tell me." Frustration was starting to creep into his voice. Along with a big amount of humor.
Teagan threw back her head and laughed. Yup. "Oh boy. I can get Tristan riled like that too."
Galen went still. "Did you say Tristan?"
Teagan nodded. "He says that I make him so 'un bloody hinged' that he can't think straight."
He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Teagan knew Tristan. His brother Tristan, whom he hadn't see in on over 16 years. In fact...
"Are you telling me that you are married to Tristan?"
Teagan nodded, giving him the brightest smile he had ever seen on her.
Galen reached over and drew her into a huge hug, nearly crushing her. "You are telling me that my brother is alive?"
Teagan nodded.
"And I'm going to be an uncle?"
She nodded again.
Suddenly, he released her and burst out laughing. Tears came to his eyes. "Oh, Teagan, love. Can't picture old Tris being a father. He's too chilly. He doesn't say much as it is." He was clutching his sides.
Teagan gave him a wicked grin. "You'd be surprised at what I can get him to say."
Galen fell over, still laughing. "Stop. I don't want to know."
When he was done laughing, he drew Teagan into him. She rested her head on his shoulders.
"Tell me about when you were boys."
"Hasn't he told you?"
She nodded into his shoulder. "But I want to hear it from you. And he never mentioned your name."
"He taught me everything I know. He looked out for us, being the eldest. I've never seen anyone as good at warfare than he is."
Teagan nodded again. "He's very good. Especially at killing."
Galen rested his head on her shoulder. "You've seen him kill." It was not a question, but fact.
"Yes, it was like watching a dance." Her voice became soft. "He enjoys it."
"Does that bother you?"
This time she shook her head. "No. This is what you do. What you were trained for. It is part of who you are." And it didn't.
"My Teagan. Always the accepting one."
"I wasn't once."
"Tell me?"
"Tristan died." Her voice hitched. As it always did when she talked of it. It was still painful for her to think about. All the needless pain she had put that man through.
Galen pulled away. "How? It can't be. You just said that he is alive."
Teagan patted her belly. "Oh, he is. And he did. I helped bury him. And Dagonet and Lancelot."
"I don't understand."
She chuckled. "Not many do. Dag was first. Then Tris and Lancelot." She went on and told him the story of how the Saxons attacked the fort. "I couldn't just stay here and look at that grave. Or Lancelot's. I love them so. But Tristan's was harder. I left the fort."
Galen shook his head. "I still don't get it. If they were dead, in the ground, how did they come back?"
"I asked. No one knows. Gawain said that they just showed up at the gate. That Merlin had his hand in it. He tried to show me once, but I didn't see it."
Galen was silent, trying to wrap his brain around what she was telling him.
Teagan continued. "Dag and Lancelot said it was like a bad dream. They don't remember it at all. Just waking up in their beds."
"What about my brother?"
Teagan shrugged. "He says he doesn't remember. But every once in a while, he'll have a nightmare."
"Really?"
Teagan nodded. "He was more angry that I wasn't here when he came back."
"But you didn't know."
"I was captured by the Saxons. Dag and the rest found me and brought me back."
"Well, was Tris better then? When you came back?"
She shook her head. "No. And it got worse. And it was mostly my fault. Galen - I buried him. My brain couldn't get around that fact. It took a while for me to get over that. I pretty much avoided him as much as I could. In fact, I left. Again. And in the meantime, Tristan was angrier. More violent than usual."
Galen gave her a squeeze. "I'm glad things are good for you now."
"I wonder sometimes." She whispered to no one in particular.
Her mind coming back into focus, Teagan sat back, her toe digging into the soft gras that was underneath the bench. It felt cool to her foot, the dew beginning to form.
"Tristan?"
"What?" He moved his arm to her shoulders, his fingers catching a bit of her hair.
"I didn't deceive you." She turned her body, facing him. His fingers still in her long hair. "Ash says you thought I cheated on you with Galen."
Tristan looked at Teagan, the worry clearly evident in her eyes. "I know you didn't. I have better faith in you than that."
Again the tears threatened. One thousand plus years of suppressing all her feelings for this man about to spill over again. Teagan sniffed, trying to stop her eyes from leaking. "But, I remember. You acted so awful."
Tristan pulled her close. "I was more upset at the thought of having children. I wasn't ready for that."
Galenhad just been a convenient excuse to hide his own insecurities.
"So you had a good time with my brother."
Teagan nodded. "As well as I could. Considering the week we've had. It was good to catch up on the years we've missed." Her voce held such warmth.
Tristan eyed her. The way she talked about Galen. It was like... "Do you love him?"
She gave him a glance. His tone was different. Something was wrong. But she didn't know what yet.
"Of course I do. He was the one who helped me survive. And now..." She reached out to touch Tristan's cheek, but he pulled away. "What's wrong?"
"Did you kiss him? Did you love him?" This was said low, holding warning.
But Teagan couldn't believe what she was hearing. "What kind of question is that?"
"Just answer it." His voice was low, menacing.
Teagan didn't answer. She couldn't. Tristan had never acted this way about the other knights. She was close to Gawain and Lancelot and he didn't act this way about them.
Tristan took her silence as a yes to his question. "So he was your first."
It dawned on Teagan. "You are jealous."
"Why shouldn't I be?"
She looked at him, dumbfounded. "Because I'm with you."
"But you met him first. It was him first. Then you met me and settled."
Teagan sprang up from the bed, she was so angry. As much as her expanded form would allow. "How dare you say something like that. You, not him, were my first."
Tristan got up from his seat and moved to mere inches from her. "Only because he wasn't here. I was."
Teagan's whole body shook. "I don't believe you." She raised her had to slap him, but stopped. She let her arm fall. It wasn't worth it. "I can't believe you are that insecure."
Tristan was calm. Way to calm. He only got like this when he was very angry or ready to kill. She prayed that it didn't end with violence. Normally, she took what he had to give, the violent side and everything. In her condition, she wouldn't survive it this time.
"But Galen is so much more suited for you than I."
"You stupid man. You do not know me at all."
Without another word, she turned and left him standing there.
0o0o0o
It was Gawain who found her in the training area, shooting arrow after arrow in to target 200 paces away.
He whistled low. Awed as usual at how she could be that accurate. In the dark with only moonlight to guide her.
Gawain stood for a moment watching her. It seemed she didn't know he was there. She stood tall. Well, as much as she could. Being not that tall to begin with.
She wasn't wearing her usual breeches tonight. She was in a simple pale blue dress. It did nothing to hide her pregnancy. Being only four months along, she was showing a good bit. Gawain smiled. Merlin had said she was carrying twins. Then he frowned. Teagan was refusing to rest, even though she looked dead on her feet. She was also refusing to see Merlin. So she probably didn't know about the two babies. They had just found out themselves this evening. Which was why Gawain was looking for her in the first place.
He had gone up to their room to congratulate them when he noticed Teagan gone. And Tristan was just sitting there with a murderous look on his face. It didn't take Gawain long to figure that they had had a fight. And by the looks of Tristan, it was a big one.
Gawain looked again to Teagan as she sent another round of arrows into the target. He sighed. He had figured that the news of twins was what set off the fight between the two. Teagan so far had not been very receptive to being pregnant. Tristan as usual, was quiet. But the entire company of knights noticed that he was more sullen than usual. That and the fact that Tristan's brother Galen had come into the picture. A reunion that had gone well at first.
Then it turned out that Teagan knew Galen. Tristan suddenly morphing into this green eyes monster.
Gawain let out a chuckle. Life had certainly become very interesting since Teagan came to the fort.
A movement on the wall caught his eye. Tristan was up there. No doubt watching over his wife. And he was giving her distance. Right now, Tristan's wife was very angry at him, she needed the distance.
Gawain looked again to Teagan. She had stopped shooting and just stood there. Slowly she turned and looked at Gawain. It looked as though she were staring right through him. She wasn't seeing anything. Something wasn't right.
Gawain started for her as she started shaking.
Violently shaking, she sank to her knees.
He was to her in an instant. Scooping her up just before she hit the ground.
Standing up, Gawain glanced up the wall. Tristan was gone. No doubt he had seen Teagan fall and was on his way down.
Sure enough, the scout rounded the corner. Running up to Gawain, he took a shaking Teagan from him. He pulled her to him and rested her head on his chest. He knew that when she was upset, she used the sound of his heart to calm down. Right now, he prayed to Arthur's god that she would calm.
"What happened?"
"Don't know. One minute, she was shooting, next she was just standing there, shaking." He looked to his friend. "What the hell is going on with you two?"
Tristan only shrugged. He turned, taking Teagan to their room, Gawain right on his heels. She was still shaking, her teeth chattering. Tristan felt her forehead. She was hot to the touch.
Laying her on the bed, he quickly took off her clothes, leaving only her shift. He turned to Gawain. "Go get Merlin. And Dag."
Gawain was out the door in an instant.
Hearing Teagan moan, Tristan looked over to where his wife lay. She had slept for three days. And for three days, Tristan sat. He had watched and listened to her dream. And though she dreamed, she did not wake. And when she dreamed, she spoke. And as she spoke, Tristan was beginning to realize what it was he was doing to her.
Teagan had always been one to speak her mind. It was not often that she spoke without meaning it. Lately, though, she had become withdrawn. Even with the other knights. Now, in her sleep she was talking about her feelings that she had been holding inside. Tristan could not help but listen to her.
She didn't love Galen. She did, but only how she loved Gawain and Lancelot, who were brothers to her. She spoke of how she loved him, Tristan, with her entire soul. Hearing this made his heart soar.
Her next thoughts, though, broke his heart. Teagan felt as though he didn't want her anymore. That he no longer found her beautiful because she was pregnant. That he no longer wanted to touch her because she was pregnant.
Looking at Teagan, he could understand why she would think that. He had never been one to talk of his feelings. Feelings got in the way. You let your feelings out, you died. He had seen too many friends die that way. He had shut his heart, his feelings away until Teagan. She had tipped his entire world upside down. He was still adjusting to her, having her with him.
Now, add in the fact that she was pregnant. And with twins, Merlin had said. His life was about to become more complicated. And right now, he didn't know what to do.
It was true that he hadn't been touching her. Not that he didn't want to. Gods knew he did. And this was a big part of the problem.
There were times when he lost control. There had been times when he had been rough with Teagan, times he had lost control with her.
Before, he had used battle as a release for his violence. He enjoyed killing, it gave him great pleasure.
Now, things were different. He needed a different kind of release.
It had happened the night that Lancelot had walked in on them. That night so long ago. His anger at being hurt. At having Teagan fight to save him. He should have been saving her. And his anger at her. She had been avoiding him, afraid to love him lest he die again.
Tristan hung his head. Guilt again coming into his heart. He had truly hurt her that night. There were times when he should have scared her away.
As he looked at his sleeping wife, he smiled a sad smile. She should be afraid of him, but she was not. She had embraced him. For who and what he was.
0o0o0o
Teagan opened her eyes slowly. She was so tired. And her head hurt. Remembering her fight with Tristan, she tried to sit up, groaning when her head protested. Laying her head back down, she looked at Tristan.
Hearing Teagan groan, Tristan watched as she opened her eyes. Those blue eyes met his, questioning. Silently asking him why.
Tristan tried to go to her. He even got up from the chair he had been sitting in by the fireplace.
He wanted nothing more than to hold her. To make everything all right. But he couldn't.
Tristan couldn't look at her as he silently left the room.
And as he left their room, he heard Teagan start to cry.
"So I did have a baby."
Tristan couldn't smile even though he wanted to. This was hurting her. He hated seeing her like this, but Ash had said that he would be the one to help her through.
And remembering babies was just the beginning. The worst was yet to come. And as much as his mind was urging him to tell her about what Victor had done now, his heart said to wait. Let her remember, then comfort her.
"I was afraid." Then a wise man told him to love her.
It was the old man Merlin who came across Tristan as he stood against the high wall. His keen eyes looking out across the sleepy fort. Neither man speaking untilTristan heaved a huge sigh.
"I don't know what to do." He said at last.
"Love her."
Tristan did. With everything inside him. "I do."
"No, son. Love her. Touch her."
"I can't." Tristan looked at the old man, fear showing unchecked in his eyes. He couldn't hide the emotions in his eyes like he couldn't hide the shaking in his voice.
"Then you will lose her."
The scout was silent. His eyes again looking out, but obviously not seeing anything.
Merlin continued. "She needs you. She needs your touch. She knows you are not one for open affection. And she does not push. But right now, she needs to feel you. Teagan needs to know that you still find her beautiful." He spoke from experience, so many of his tribes women feeling the same way Teagan did at the moment.
"She is so beautiful. And even more so now."
"Then what is the problem?" Merlin had the patience of many saints. He would find the reason. Even from this normally silent man.
"I want to touch her. I want to make love to her. But... I can't."
"Why not?"
"Because sometimes, I can't control myself. I don't want to hurt her. Or the babies."
Merlin came to where Tristan was sitting and knelt level with the young man. He saw fear and desperation. "Son, you can still love her. You will know what will be too much. Trust yourself. Trust her." He saw a glimmer of hope in Tristan's eyes at those words. He did trust Teagan and that would be his saving grace. "And it is good for the babies." He winked.
Merlin smiled as Tristan walked away toward his wife, his eyes momentarily taking on the look of swirling silver. Quickly he blinked, causing them to return to the faded blue they had been.
0o0o0o
Teagan was sitting on the edge of the bed, weeping when Cassandra came into the room. Lancelot standing at the doorway, unsure of entering or not. Things were certainly in an upheaval upon their arrival. Teagan was here, lying in a bed with sheer exhaustion. Guinevere was in her and Arthur's rooms, possobly loosing their child. And a Roman Commander was currently in his room under guard.
"What are you doing up? You need your rest." Cassandra said as she moved quietly toward Teagan. Her steps cautious.
Teagan shook her head. "No. I don't."
"Think of the babies."
Fire lit into Teagan's eyes. She stood up and paced the small room. Her head protesting the entire time. "No. I won't think of these damned babies. That's all everyone thinks about anymore. All they want to do is scorn me for not getting enough rest. Not eating enough. I'm not allowed riding, not allowed to work. I get hollered at when I try to keep up with my training. And these babies have driven my husband away. Did you know that he hasn't slept in the same bed as I since he found out I was pregnant?" Cass could only shake her head as Teagan stormed on. "He hasn't. He hasn't touched me in months. And I don't know why. He doesn't talk much as it is. And now he won't talk hardly to me at all. Except to accuse me of picking his brother over him." She gave a frustrated sigh. "I don't want these babies if it means that I will lose Tristan. I will not survive it."
Teagan sank back onto the bed. Her anger and frustration sapping all her strength.
Cassandra was uncertain of what to do now. Should she hug her friend or should she leave? She had almost become unapproachable these last few months. Always pushing herself, always acting the perfect hostess for that damned Roman Commander.
Her question was answered when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Lancelot, stood there with a dejected Tristan behind him. Her husband motioned for her to follow him and she did, giving a last look at the pair.
Teagan looked up at Tristan. "How much did you hear?" She couldn't hide the pain and hurt that she felt inside.
"Every word." He crossed the room and knelt down, bringing his face even with hers. He brought his hands to cup her face. "You are right. I am stupid. I love you so much. I just don't want to hurt you. That's why I have stayed away."
She gave him a weak smile. "Do you trust me?"
He gave her a kiss. "I trust you with my life."
Teagan brought her hand to trace his tattoo with the pad of her thumb, leaning her forehead to his, looking into his eyes. She moved to kiss him back. "Then, please trust us." She said against his lips.
Tristan swallowed hard, forcing down the lump that had come unbidden into his throat. Silently he pulled Teagan closer to him, his chin resting on her head. There were so many things that he needed to tell her. His current habit coming to mind for one, the inevitable arrival of Victor for two.
Her voice brought him back.
"Tristan?" Teagan brought her fingers up to play in the hair on his chest. Reveling in the steady heartbeat that she felt underneath her fingertips.
"Yes?"
"Do you still trust me?"
He pulled away from her, locking his dark black eyes with her blue ones. "I trust you with my life." And he did. Probably more now than he did then.
Tristan bent, his intention to kiss her when his cell started vibrating, causing his to startle.
With Teagan laughing, he pulled it out of his pants pocket. "It's Ash. Says to meet him at Tahoe's. But not to rush."
Teagan jumped up, slipping into her flops. She reached out her hand, which Tristan took. "Good. I'm hungry anyway." She said as she pulled him up.
A/N: I know this is a long one. But I couldn't find a proper place to chop it in half. Let me know what you all think.