A/N: This chapter is kinda like a Laura study. Trying to really showcase how she feels about everything in her life right now and what she feels about Natasha. Natasha is her rock and a big factor for her health. Like you can see in this chapter, (but also like in the first fanfic) it's actually a really big reflection of her own well-being.

TW: I will also warn this will bring up some darker themes. I won't like describe anything, but some things will be hinted at. So, the rating will continue to be T, but just so you know, that will happen in this chapter as well as later chapters. And again, I won't really use the words, but you will see some hinting towards dark events, and you will just kinda have to know what I'm talking about.

Other than that, we are moving forward in time already. If you haven't read my fanfics, especially Never far from home, I have quite a few times jumps all over the place. This is like I said in the introduction in chapter one, this is a sequel, which can be a standalone.

In never far from home I covered everything from when Natasha met Laura 10 years ago, to the end of Ultron. This is from the end of Ultron to the end of endgame. The difference is, never far was kinda similar to the actual MCU, and this will be more AU. So, while it won't cover every big event from after Ultron, it will be quite a big and long timeline regardless. And quite a bit of time jumps because it's me.

I will try not to refer too much back to Never just because everyone may not have read it. But if you are lost and don't understand like "what is she talking about here" it probably is mentioned in Never far, but you can always pm/or comment me if you don't know what is going on and want answers, I'll be happy to explain.

Red/S-B

Laura was sitting by the table holding a tight grip around her mug and a book in her lap. The mug had was holding a non-caffeinated late, and it was some of the most depressing things Laura knew. One of the biggest downsides of breastfeeding for sure.

It was only 10 in the morning, but the kids were already up and running. It was a nice Saturday, it really was. Sun was shining and you could see the temperature had started falling with the small layer of dew sprinkled on the grass on the field.

It was the middle of December already. The Christmas decorations were already up in the house, and Clint had put out a few Christmas lights outside this year as well. The kids were going to pick out a Christmas tree with their father this weekend too. In a way, it felt like life was just flying by, but at the same time, it felt like time had stopped.

It's been weeks, almost months since the Natasha event. It felt still so unreal. And sometimes she still felt the fear that had washed through her that day. Sometimes it still flashed pictures of Natasha in Maria's arms after she fainted. Pictures of the doctor running down through the door. Even Tony Stark had been there. He was the one that would get there fastest, so he had shown up first. Then a quinjet had arrived just half a minute after. Everything had just been a blur. She remembered Maria and Tony low shouting at each other as they tried to work together.

It had seemed so dramatic at the time, but she knew she was fine now. She had recovered. She was fine. Completely healed from the incident.

Nothing in any test could tell you about the cardiogenic shock, the arrhythmia, or angina. Nothing about how her heart had failed her. It was untraceable on paper.

But Laura had been there. She had seen it. How Natasha had been fighting herself as her chest had started to burn and her breath got lost. How Maria had desperately tried to keep her calm to drag out the risk of it getting worse.

Even when Clint tried to shield her off in another room, she had fought him. Just to get closer to her, to watch her, to make sure she didn't lose her.

She had watched as Maria got more and more scared. How she too was fighting the thoughts of maybe losing the woman then and there. Losing her in her arms, in the staircase of what the woman counted as home.

She had fainted only a minute after her legs gave up under her. After what seemed like years of her gasping after small pockets of air. Holding tighter and tighter around her upper chest and lower throat till she fell to the floor. She had woken up shortly after, but even then, she was still fighting consciousness. Holding her hands over her chest gasping as it got even worse.

Laura had completely forgotten about her book when she stood up from the chair. It fell down on the floor with a loud thud. She let out a small sigh as she picked it up. She had tried to finish that dumb book for weeks now and she had barely made a dent. She just had so much on her mind all the time, and while she would like to try to pretend life didn't exist and instead fall into an imaginary world in said book, her brain hadn't allowed it. And she had tried everything, she really had. She had been to the doctor multiple times. She had even started to go to therapy again because she seriously had just passed a breaking point.

Psychology happened to be a big part of her field as well as how your brain actually worked. Now her field was quite broad anyway, but she had a degree in the area for crying out loud. She wasn't dumb, she took the hint, she needed to fix it and get her life back on track.

Laura had actually found a big relief in the therapy sessions. Her therapist was lovely, and it was a nice and needed change talking to somebody about everything in her life. About Clint, about Natasha. Talking about everything just to get it off her chest. Laura always felt she was the one ending up with always having to listen to everyone else's problems and nobody took a minute to listen to her. And now, for the first time in a while, she finally got relief.

The last weeks had felt especially heavy. At the start, her body hadn't really processed what had happened, and it seemed fine. Nothing told her it would only be the start, a warmup for the hell later down the line.

When it finally hit her, her world slowly started to fall apart. Laura knew it was normal not maybe reacting so much at first, maybe you were still in shock. You needed to process everything, your reaction would maybe be a bit delayed, and then slowly you had the battle in front of you to heal.

But Laura's reaction had not been good, and when she got the realization that she really could have lost Natasha that night. Everything had changed. Everything had changed after that night.

After Maria took Natasha back to the Avenger facility Laura had spent the whole night pacing back and forth. Back then she didn't know that would be the last time in weeks she would see the two of them, and the last time in weeks she would hear the redheads voice.

Maria had updated her the whole night and along the way. When they were flying home. When they moved her into the hospital part of the Avenger's facility. Through every small turn, she had messaged her, or called her, telling her exactly what was going on. She was single-handedly the only reason Laura had survived the first 24 hours. The only reason her own heart hadn't failed her too.

Maria had called her the second the quinjet had landed and didn't hang up before they had gotten a clear answer on what had happened and a clear diagnosis. After that, she had announced she was going to Pepper's apartment to tell her everything in person. Apparently, she had ordered Pepper to stay home not wanting to risk anything like an accident on her way to HQ, when ultimately, they wouldn't get to see the redhead that day anyways. But even after she hung up to stay with Pepper, she continued to message Laura regularly to make sure she was okay.

Takotsubo cardiomyopathy. That's what Maria had called it. A cardiac event. Natasha had woken up with shortness of breath and chest pain, caused by irregularities in her coronary artery. Maria didn't get to see the woman when she had woken up but apparently, she was okay. Whatever "okay" meant in this situation.

Like Maria had said. Completely reversible. Natasha was fine now. She had recovered. She was fine. But even with this information Laura never stopped wondering why and how it all had happened.

Natasha was the fittest person you would ever find. She had no cardiac history before this. If she had the red room and KGB would probably have gotten rid of her a long time ago. Even if that sounded awful, that was the harsh truth. The red room would never have kept a student that had heart problems. It was a risk they would never take, and Laura knew they had no problems getting rid of students.

No, Natasha's case was different. It came out of the blue. Yes, she had been sick, but even when her health situation had been a bit out of the ordinary it made no sense how her heart had shut down like that.

Laura had wasted no time, opening her tablet to google the second Maria had given her the diagnose, and the second she had hit search her heart had sunk.

Broken heart syndrome. That's what it was called. That was the top result on google. Broken heart syndrome.

"A temporary heart condition that's often brought on by stressful situations and extreme emotions. The condition can also be triggered by a serious physical illness or surgery."

They caused it. It was their fault. They were the trigger to this. They made it happen.

Laura was still struggling to cope with that. To not blame herself over and over. Multiple times Maria and Clint had told her it wasn't that. It was multiple factors and she couldn't be blaming herself for everything. And even if she did Natasha was fine now. And she couldn't do anything about the past. She needed to let it go. That was what they told her.

She wished it was that easy. To just tell herself it wasn't her fault. But she didn't believe them. How could she believe them?

Natasha hadn't talked to them after everything that had happened. She had sent one message to both Clint and Laura telling them she was fine and didn't blame them. But it had been un-personal and more or less two identical messages to them both. She hadn't replied to Laura after she messaged her. She wasn't really surprised by this, but it still stung. It also made the healing processes even worse. She had no idea what Natasha was really thinking. If she actually was fine.

Clint had moved on long ago. And she wasn't surprised. Clint had just backed off as he had done even before the cardiac event. And like he had said to Natasha that night: It really did seem like his priorities were at the kids and Laura.

Laura knew he had been struggling a lot after everything that happened with Ultron and the Maximoff twins. She didn't blame him, of course not. It had been traumatic, and he needed time to heal. But even when that was the case it was still hard to watch him drift from Natasha like that.

But maybe the worst part about it all was, the kids had started to drift as well.

Natasha had been gone for way longer than two months before, and they always asked a million times when she was coming back. When was she visiting next? Had she called or texted?

But now neither Cooper nor Lila asked anymore. She didn't know why they just suddenly stopped. Maybe it was because Clint was home with them all the time? Whatever it was, it hurt Laura to see them too slowly just stopping asking after their aunt.

Of course, they were kids. They didn't see the seriousness in the situation. And really you can't blame kids for, well, being kids. But Laura still wanted them to care, even if they didn't know what really had happened that night.

And then there was Nathaniel. He was even named after the woman. And Natasha had barely seen him at all. It was only three months since he was born, but Laura imagined her being there more or less the whole way. To be a part of his childhood. To be a part of raising him. Beside her and Clint the whole day. That was her dream.

Laura wished more than anything she was here now. She wanted her home and well. To give her a hug, and just, all in all, being able to look at her and make sure she was fine.

Lately, that's all she had been thinking about. Natasha and everything that had happened with her. How it was still affecting her, and how it would always be in the back of her head. It never let go and it was starting to get really hard getting back into a good routine.

At least that was one good side with Clint's new mindset. They now shared a lot more of the daily routines and Clint was even more involved. The days' Laura had been really down he had taken the kids in the morning, and the worst case also ended up entertaining them in the evening as well. It gave Laura time to try focusing on herself. And that was really needed at this point.

Today Kent and Annie with their two kids were coming over. Another attempt to keep Laura's head on earth. Annie and Kent were good family friends. Laura had known Annie for years, and the couple was the first couple that had known about Natasha's real past and actually seen the truth and the real Barton family.

Together Kent and Annie had two kids. Caspar was born in 2004 and was a few months older than Cooper who was born at the start of January 2005. Because Cooper had started school early, he and Caspar went in the same class and had grown up side by side.

Lucie was their youngest was only a couple of weeks older than Lila. They too were in the same class at school and were more or less inseparable.

Laura was very thankful for them. She could not imagine a life where she hadn't had a friend like Annie. She knew the kids would be friends with them for the rest of their life too. And it made her extremely happy. Just having friends and being able to be normal kids outside of the house. To not needing to be involved in all the intelligent community

After shield fell and the Avengers went public, people had started to take notice of Laura and Clint. Thankfully it was really only their small town that knew Laura was the wife of Hawkeye, and the media hadn't decided to cover that yet. She hoped they never would. Just for her kids' sake.

Annie and Kent had been there for the family when times were hard. Even when Shield fell, and they had to deal with a Natasha, who was hiding from the whole world at the time, the family had been there for them.

Their family was the Barton family's way to try to keep a normal life. They tried to arrange playdates or dinners at least one time a week. And every other week the kids would have asleep over, alternating which family would host. Not only was it a great way of escaping all the stress from a busy life, but it was also just a nice evening for everyone, including the adults.

This Saturday had pizza and movie night on the agenda. Laura had bought all the ingredients earlier this week and was very prepared. They would be over in a few hours and usually, they would stay quite late.

Laura could feel some butterflies in her stomach. For some reason, she felt nervous having them over. And she had no idea why. Again. She loved that family. It was gonna be nice. Of course, it was. So why did she feel so stressed now?

Upstairs she could hear the kids run and play. They had been so good lately with almost no fights. And Nate to had been good, starting to get some better nights, not waking up by literally nothing.

"Hi" Laura could feel her body freeze when she felt something behind her. She let out a heavy breath as she felt him wrap his arms around her carefully. His voice was soft as he spoke, and she let him move her hair to the side to kiss her neck gently.

She turned around and looked up at him. Clint looked at her with a small smile before letting go.

"How are you?" He asked looking at her. She looked back at him with a tired look. She had a feeling he knew what she was gonna say already.

"Tired. Have a lot on my mind." Laura answered simply.

"She is fine. You know this." Clint said before turning around to go to the kitchen. They had had this conversation countless times already, and both of them were really starting to hate it.

"I don't like how you're so confident saying that. She hasn't spoken to us in weeks." Laura took a deep breath again. Breath Laura, breathe.

"Laura. I think you need to focus on yourself here for a second." Clint said calmly looking at her with a small smile. She could tell inside he wasn't as calm and nice as he looked on the outside.

"Clint I just think we also should…" She tried only to interrupt.

"Whatever you're going to say I will not agree. Nat has everything she needs at HQ, and I have everything I need here." Clint cut her off making Laura shut her mouth. She looked at him with big eyes, still having a hard time listening to him talking like that.

Continue to breathe. In through your nose. Out your mouth. Calm down Laura

"You know I love Nat, but she has other priorities back there. And mine are here. She can come and go as much as she wants as long as everyone here in this house is safe. Do you understand me?" Clint said with a firm voice. He always ended up raising his voice. And every time Laura could only nod under his eyes before closing her eyes in defeat.

"I can feel a headache," Laura mumbled after a while. She lifted her hand to her forehead slowly, immediately feeling her head starting to spin.

"Taken your medications?" She could hear Clint reply.

"Yes," She mumbled back leaning forwards to lean on the table. Both sides of her head were throbbing, and she was starting to feel a little bit sick.

"At least to go the sofa to take a nap," Clint said and Laura could feel him poke her side.

She lifted her head and opened her eyes to look at him. His blue eyes were staring at her intensely before he nodded at the couch, and all she could do was to only nod back before moving over to the living room again.

It had been a lot of naps lately. She didn't like it, but she needed them dearly. She barely slept at night and headaches had started to follow her every day. And no matter what she did she never seemed to be able to shake them off. No wonder why Natasha got so drained of her migraines.

Laura let out a small sigh before curling up under a blanket. She looked up only to see Clint starting back at her. She nodded again before closing her eyes, falling into a deep, deep sleep.

Laura woke up by Clint shaking her a few hours later. He smiled at her softly before handing her a glass of water. Laura smiled faintly before saying. "Thanks, Clint," He smiled back before moving over to the kitchen. She let out a small yawn before turning her head to look at the clock on the wall.

"He at his second nap?" Laura asked before standing up stretching her arms over her head.

"Second nap" Clint confirmed with a nod.

"And the two others?" Laura continued as she sipped on her water looking at her phone.

"Upstairs, probably charging up some crazy amount of energy for tonight," Clint answered with a small laugher. He stopped when she didn't reply and turned around to look at her. Laura watched his intense blue eyes look at her. They were like a storm. Always awake, always alive, and ready to start rumbling.

"You okay Laur?" He asked softly.

"Yeah, fine. Just tired, still." Laura replied. He only looked at her for a second before nodding. It was a weak reply, it really was. But at least it was true. She really did feel dead.

He continued to look at her for a few more seconds before he started to move. He was just about to walk out of the kitchen and into their small closet when he stopped abruptly. He stopped and just looked out into nowhere for a second before frowning.

"Did you hear that?" He said low, looking at her with a small on alert look.

She only shook her head slowly. She hadn't heard anything, but she didn't like the way he was looking. This could be bad. Or dangerous.

Clint took a step towards the front door before stopping again. This time Laura did hear something. It was hard to describe the sound. In a way, it sounded like footsteps but also as if something was getting dragged.

If this was the apocalypse Cooped had been talking about, she was not ready.

She looked at him one more time before slowly walking towards the door. Before they even got to the hallway the door got slammed open and immediately Laura felt her whole body freeze up.

Laura could feel Clint stop behind her as well as they both just looked at them. Staring at the two women in front of them in shock having no idea what to do.

Natasha was hanging over the shoulder of another woman. And the first thing Laura noticed was her wild eyes. They were all over the place. Unlike her normal kind eyes, they seemed almost distressed, scared. And Laura had seen the woman stressed before, this wasn't it.

"Okay, that was unexpected." Clint only said looking at them with a confused look as the new woman pushed the door close behind them. At least he seemed calm so maybe it wasn't too bad of a situation?

"What were you expecting, something more dangerous?" Laura hadn't really noticed the other woman before she opened her mouth. She had an accent she couldn't place. Sounded kinda similar to an eastern European language, maybe?

She had long brown hair with some soft waves in them, framing a beautiful young face. Paired with it she had two wide-awake blue-green eyes, scanning her surroundings. She was very pretty she noticed. Taller than Natasha, but not too tall. She had a slim body and was dressed in a black T and some ripped jeans. On top, she had a red leather jacket which Laura knew was Natasha's because she had seen it a million times. She seemed very young actually, now that Laura looked at her.

"More that I didn't expect you, Wanda" Clint answered calmly looking at the girl.

Wanda, this was Wanda. This was the one twin. Oh my god. No wonder why Clint wanted to protect her. She looked like she was barely 20. This was insane.

"Well, Natasha dragged me here," Wanda said nodding at the woman who was starting to straighten up.

"Needed a support, plus I thought maybe you wanted to see your daughter," Natasha said between her teeth. Laura could tell it was very forced as she finally was standing straight looking at them. Her wild eyes had started to die down, but she was very clearly tired, and she seemed to be in pain as well.

Clint only looked at her for a second before nodding. He smiled at Wanda before he offered to take her red jacket and put it away.

Even when Wanda undressed Laura could see the girl was looking at her carefully. She couldn't blame her for being on edge at a new place.

"Hi. I'm Laura, Clint's wife." Laura offered her a hand as she induced herself, trying to keep as calm as possible. She watched as Wanda looked at her hand then back at her before she shook it carefully. Her green eyes continued to look into Laura's brown as she spoke up.

"Wanda." She answered politely looking at her before turning to Natasha. Laura was surprised to see the woman turn to Natasha, but she was even more surprised by the encouraging nod from the redhead. She knew they were close, but Wanda seemed very reliant on the other woman.

"If you guys want to move to the living room or something?" Clint tried, looking between them, clearly unsure about what to do.

"No, Annie and the family are here." Natasha only replied, and like clockwork the second the sentence was off her tongue the door opened for the second time in 10 minutes.

Laura watched a happy blond open the door. followed by two kids running through the door and two down the staircase.

Laura hadn't actually thought about her two kids before they came flying down. They barely looked at the other adults before dragging their friends upstairs again.

Copper was the only one that seemed to have noticed the new brunette. He looked at her for a second before Clint smiled at him waving to signalize him to follow Caspar to his room.

It surprised her that not even Lila had noticed Natasha. She loved that woman to pieces. Laura turned to locate the redhead, to see if she at least was watching the kids. To Laura's surprised Natasha was already gone, and it took her a good 5 seconds to notice her standing in a corner almost completely blending in with everything. She would probably not have noticed her if she didn't know she was there in the first place so the kids would have no idea she even was in the house.

But then again, she was a former superspy, what was new.

"Laura!" Laura got snapped out of her thoughts when she heard Annie's soft but excited voice. She felt her body move on autopilot walking into the hug. Smiling as Annie wrapped her arms around her.

"Annie, Kent, this is Wanda, she is part of the Avengers." Laura pulled back as he heard Clint speak up intruding Wanda proudly.

"Hi, I am Annie, and this is my husband, Kent. We are long time family friends." Annie said shaking Wanda's hand carefully. Wanda smiled softly at the two of them nodding slightly at Kent who hadn't moved yet.

"And Natasha, so nice to see you again." Laura had no idea Natasha had moved out of the corner and was now standing behind her somehow. Natasha nodded softly at the blond before the blond forced her into a hug, which didn't surprise Laura a bit. She knew Annie loved Natasha.

She watched as Natasha moved slightly uncomfortable in Annie's arms, as she was dodging something. But even if she was in discomfort her soft, caring face, did not reveal anything as she pulled back, glowing in the kindest my beautiful way.

And at least Laura had her back, at least she was home.