I'm back on Fruits Basket, thank god, and this is a question that flashed through my head hundreds of times. It's also YAOI, and the only Fruits Basket pairing I write: Yuki X Kyou. I hope you enjoy.
Disclaimer: Nooooooope. Sorry.
Kyou was wandering down the hall one day, contemplating his everlasting love for Yuki, and how to break it to Tohru.
"Maybe, I should say we could be friends…"
"KYOU!"
The cat turned around hearing his name being called. Yuki was running towards him, arms spread out wide.
'Is it my dream come true?'
"Kyou, I have something to tell you!"
Kyou stared at him stupidly. And then decided to run towards him with open arms too.
"I have something to tell you too, Yuki!"
"Kyou!"
"Yuki!"
"What is it called when people are paired together in our family?"
Kyou fell down anime-style and rubbed his head. The look on his face could be one of the Greatest WTF! Faces on earth.
"What in the hell-"
"I mean, isn't it considered as incest?"
"…"
"Or better yet, Sohmacest?"
"…"
"Sure, I was about to confess my undying love to you just moments before, but then I though 'Hey! Wouldn't our relationship be forbidden and bind us to hell for all eternity?'"
"…!"
"So what did you want to say, Kyou?"
"I love you?"
"OMG! So do I! However did you know?"
"I didn't."
"So, this is just a random moment where we have confessed our boundless love for each other?"
"Guess so."
"Okay."
"Hey Yuki?"
"Yes?"
"Wanna have sex?"
"Sure. My room or yours?"
"Mine."
"Lets go then."
And then they had several rounds of burning hot gay sex. At the end of all the burning hot gay sex, Tohru walked into Kyou's room.
"Hey Kyou? I just wanted to tell you about my heart-pounding love for you…"
"Um, wait, leave and come back in after I'm dressed up from my experience that was NOT burning hot gay sex!"
"Okay then, can I at least take your sheets?"
"HELL NO!"
"I'll take them anyway, cuz' I'm so kindhearted and thoughtful that I will not notice all the sticky, white stuff on them."
"…Okay then…"
And Tohru took the sheets, but Kyou had somehow forgotten that he and Yuki were under the sheets.
"OMG! Yuki, what are you doing to Kyou!"
"Well, technically, he was doing me."
"Why! You knew I loved Kyou!"
"Yeah, and you knew I loved him too."
"So! I'm a girl, and I think that you and Kyou being together is considered incest."
"Really? I thought so too…"
"And that'll bound you to hell!"
"…You're jealous…"
"What? No I'm not!"
"Yes you are! You're jealous that I've gained Kyou's heart and left you in the dust!"
"…THAT'S IT! I'm not washing your sheets for a day!"
"Yes you are. You're the housekeeper."
"Dammit! He's right."
Kyou watched the exchange with hidden trauma. He did love Yuki, but seeing him fight with Tohru like this, it hurt him deeply.
"Tohru…"
"Yes Kyou?"
"Listen, can we be friends?"
"W-why!"
"I know you love me and all that crap, but I love Yuki."
"You'll be damned to hell for all eternity though!"
"Yeah, and lets face it, I'm obviously gay."
"Damn, you've got that straight."
"And dear Tohru, that is a bit of an oxymoron."
"…!"
"Also, I can't hold you, let alone have sex with you…"
"And it takes two to tango." Yuki interjected, earning a glare from Tohru. Kyou stepped in before anyone died, and made him miss out on more burning hot gay sex.
"Actually Tohru, I would be in love with you, if the idiotic author wasn't reveling in OOCness right now."
"So, you're saying that if I kill the author, then we can be together?"
"No, I'm saying that thanks to the author I've been able to experience the wonders of burning hot gay sex."
"So, you're saying that now that you've experienced the hell-binding actions of burning hot gay sex I can kill the author, cuz' you've got no use for him anymore?"
"…No. I'm thanking the author. I can't have sex with you!"
"Why?"
"Cuz' I'll turn into a cat! And I don't want lukewarm hetero sex as a cat!"
"…But I do!"
"There is something very, very wrong with you."
"I don't care if you're a cat, monster, or human! I just wanted us to connect our bodies in a loving way so that I'll become pregnant and give birth to Chibi!Kyou's!"
"Very, very, very wrong with you."
Yuki decided that he had waited way to long and pulled Kyou back into the bed.
"Tohru, sweetie, me and Kyou have some matters to attend to. Such as sizzling hot gay sex."
"What happened to the burning hot gay sex?"
"It died and came back as more anal action."
"O.o!"
"Please leave Tohru."
Tohru ran out the room crying her eyes out, because even if it was going to be lukewarm hetero sex, they wouldn't be going to hell at least!
Yuki and Kyou spent most of the night having sizzling hot anal action gay sex, and then stopped…
…having sizzling hot anal action gay sex, and evolved to hellfire-hot karma-sutra yoga-master anal-action ball-popping deep-throat spring-breaking raw gay sex.
All in all, it was a happy ending. Cuz' they fucked all night long and Tohru listened to them while crying herself to sleep.
END+
Hyah ha ha! What'd you think about that? My return to Fruits Basket, and I'm already corrupting minds. Any way, don't do any of this at home; especially break someone's heart so terribly. Okay, I hope you enjoyed!