A/N: Black Widow movie spoiler warning. Black Widow movie spoiler warning. Black Widow movie spoiler warning.
And no, I cannot stress this enough because I'm actually not about to get people angry at me for not marking it. Like yes dragging bw movie into it wasn't my original plan, so no, it wasn't tagged like this at first but now it is so BE AWARE. Like the fic isn't going anywhere so if you wanna wait till you see it. Do it. Don't come for me.
Also, this is my AU. I know we are like trying to keep some parallels, but like, this is an AU OKAY. I have said this multiple times, but CIVIL WAR DID NOT, AND WILL NOT, HAPPEN IN THIS AU.
I said this actually years ago that I don't like to include the actual CW events. Like I love the movie, but like I don't really like how that always end up with fighting between the teams and stuff which is why I don't like writing about the actual mcu event.
So, this chapter is now starting on like kinda on the replacement of that part of the storyline. And that means also this is gonna be the official Black Widow movie spoiler warning. From this point and out, I will mention things that happened in the movie and the ending of said movie.
I WILL NOT INCLUDE HAWKEYE EVENTS (I THINK). I am writing this chapter on the 6th of November meaning that the series has not aired yet and will not for like another 18 days. I don't think I will include anything canon from that show just because I think I might have passed that timeframe when that is relevant by the time that series airs.
HOWEVER, I might include Kate in the NEXT and last instalment in this series. Yes, you read that right. There is a third instalment of this series in the kinda early stages. Aka first chapter is written already lol ups. (it's been written for legit 4 months before I even picked up this one yet)
To make this all like super clear, this is the timeline.
Never far from home: Early 2005 – 2015 / From Laura met Natasha till just after Age of UltronHome is where the heart is: 2015 – 2018 (2023) / From fall ish 2015 right after Age of Ultron to just after second blip
SECRET NAME THAT IS DECIDED ALREADY: 2023 – undecided / from right after second blip to undecided time in the future.
So yes, this is what is happening, this is the plan. I am stoked about this. But it might be quite far in the future. We will see.
AND YES, THIS IS MY AU AND AS WE PROGRESS IT WILL BE MORE AND MORE UNLIKE THE CANON MCU. YOU WILL NEED TO SURVIVE THAT OKAY.
Sorry for all the yelling. I'm only yelling because I don't like people shitting on others very clear AU's. like it's a literal piece of your own imagination and fiction and people like to get mad others for that. Like you are very welcome to just stop reading if you don't like it….
Now back to our favourite unstable household.
Again, sorry
Red
After the Avengers had gone back to the compound Laura and Clint spend most of the summer with the kids going a lot back and forth between their new house and Annie and Kent in the old town. They tried to make the change to the new town as simple as possible for the kids by both exploring in the new town and still being around their old friends.
Lila and Laura's birthday passed, and summer was coming to an end. The kids were starting their new schools and Clint and Laura were getting ready for the new season in their new home.
The home was all filled with new furniture, new toys and games, and their yard was filled with new things as well. A picnic bench was placed out on one of the fields, a few new targets for both the kids and Clint to play with. The house was perfect, life was perfect. Or at least almost.
After last year's chaos, the Avengers kept keeping in touch. Wanda and Maria were both in and out of their house quite often, but Natasha and Pepper, Laura almost never saw. None of them had visited after they moved in, and in general, Natasha hadn't spoken to them much. Pepper did the talking for the both of them. She had been the one calling on Laura's birthday and sending her the gift. She told Laura nothing was wrong with Natasha, but she had a lot to do and was in and out of the compound all the time.
As much as Laura was happy Natasha was happy, she was getting curious. What was she doing? Was it connected to why she had disappeared for months?
She was still thinking about how Wanda had commented on Natasha's had seemed happier now than before, and she still found herself blaming herself for that. She knew it didn't necessarily have something to do with her at all, but Natasha had been such a big part of her own life.
"Hey, the kids asleep?" Laura turned her head when she felt Clint touch her shoulder, looking up at him with a small smile.
"Yes, did you get Natasha's text?" He asked softly, kissing her lightly on the lips.
"What? No? What text I got no text?" Laura turned around in her chair looking at him surprised, not expecting him to bring up Natasha at all.
"She asked if she could come over tomorrow evening and stay for the weekend. I told her it was perfect since the big kids are going to sleepover at Annie's" Clint said, moving over to the couch with a small shrug. He seemed a bit confused. This was the first time in months Natasha had contacted any of them directly. Not to mention actually might get to see her.
"Okay, I'll make her bed then. Did she say when she was coming?" Laura said with a small frown looking at him thoughtfully.
"Nope, just evening," Clint said back with a small shrug.
Laura spent the next Friday overthinking. She didn't know what to expect. When Natasha visited uninvited it usually wasn't a good sign. Both when it was and wasn't announced it always seemed to be a more negative reasoning behind it. And the woman had a record of just falling through their door, usually very beaten up and hurt. Laura wasn't sure if she liked this at all.
She was happy the kids wouldn't be there. If this was one of Natasha's overworked visits the kids usually didn't help the situation. But if she had texted Clint and asked about tomorrow it couldn't be so bad right? If she was hurt, she usually came unannounced. And if it was work-related, she usually came the same day, and she never asked if she could come over either. It was never a question about if they allowed her and wanted her because she knew both of those answers anyways.
Clint had just gotten back from dropping Cooper and Lila off at Annie and Kent's when they heard their doorbell. Laura lifted her head as Clint got to his feet to get the door. She could hear Natasha's voice from the hallway and had to put down her book as Natasha walked into the living room.
Natasha walked into the room looking at her with a small smile. She was dressed in a leather jacket with some black jeans and her hair tightly braided.
"I see you went back to red." Laura only got out, watching the now again redhead walk over to her and drag her into a tight hug.
The woman looked completely fine. She looked alive and healthy walking around in the living room.
"This looks really good; way better than it has ever done." Natasha said at one of the new decorative pieces with a watchful eye.
"Thank you." Laura said quietly, still trying to take in every detail of Natasha to see if anything was physically off with the woman or not.
"So, should I ask business or pleasure?" Clint said looking at her with a small thoughtful look. He was probably wondering the same things Laura was. Because to add on the already lack of contact with the agent, he also had been somewhat left outside of information from the Avengers.
The woman laughed back shaking her head lightly. Laura watched as she took a deep breath before saying. "What about something in the middle. I need to talk to you. Both of you."
Laura shot Clint a quick look. Something in Natasha's voice seemed off. She seemed a bit worried, and Laura could see Clint look at her with a frown as well.
"Okay?" Clint said slowly looking at his former partner with a concerned look as the woman shifted in her place.
"Where are the kids?" Natasha said quickly, looking around the house.
"Nate is napping, but the two big is at Annie's," Laura said back, feeling a bit on edge now.
"Okay, let's talk after Nathaniel is in bed then." Natasha said with a small smile before straightening up looking at them with a calmer look "I have missed you guys so why not catch up on the good parts first."
They spent the day talking and giving Natasha some time to catch up with Nathaniel, playing with him for most of the afternoon. It wasn't before closer to 10pm Natasha walked down from the second floor wearing the same concerned face again.
"Okay, what has happened?" Clint said, looking at her seriously, starting the conversation.
"A lot," Natasha said back, looking at him with the same serious look.
"Steve and Tony have been fighting. It started out as nothing but now they are starting to force people to pick sides. It's not something hostile, or not yet, but it has torn the team apart." Natasha started, leaning back in the chair, closing her eyes for a second.
"Rhodey and Vision are backing Tony. Sam, with Bucky, obvious, took Steve's side. It left Wanda in the middle with me.
Steve, Sam, and Bucky have all been working on tracking down Hydra, and they are in and out of the compound all the time. Wanda has then been left alone, and I don't know how well she is handling it. She has vision but I know he is trying to get her to side with Tony, something I know she isn't comfortable with. She isn't comfortable with any side." Natasha said with a sigh, looking at them with a sad look.
"What about you, and Maria?" Clint said, looking at her confused.
"Well Maria is technically working for Pepper more than Tony, so she isn't really part of the conflict. But she is also working with Shield, which Pepper let her do of course, so she has more or less written herself out of the conflict." Natasha says with somewhat of a lighter voice.
"Shield doesn't exist anymore," Clint said looking at her with a stern look. Natasha smiled back softly before shaking her head.
"Yeah of course, now how could I forget." She said with a small smirk before adding. "And I have been working something else and I have also been running back and forth."
"Where have you been then?" Laura asked, looking at Natasha confused.
"Some of it includes what did last year. But I'm going to be honest, I came to talk to you about Wanda and not me." Natasha said, pushing away the topic Laura really wanted to cover away.
"What about her?" Clint said, and Laura could see him shifting in his seat, knowing how much he cared for Wanda.
"She is sitting alone in her room. I can't be there to support her, one thing is doing work, but Pepper has also moved out of the compound, and of course, I am following her." Natasha said look at them with some worry.
"Look, I will not force you to do anything, but I also don't wanna leave her. And I can't bring her all around the world just because I am trying to track down old soviet. I just want her to feel safe." Natasha said looking at Laura with a pleading look.
"What do you need us to do?" Laura said, straightening up looking at her.
"To let her move here," Natasha said quietly. Laura's mouth dropped in surprise. Out of everything Natasha could have been bringing home, this kind of proposal was not anything to what she had expected.
She turned to Clint with a confused look. She liked Wanda, of course, she did, but another person, an avenger, living with them. Of course, they had done it before, Natasha had more or less lived with them for years, but still.
"I mean we have the space?" Clint said slowly, looking back at her with a thoughtful look, she knew the tone he was using, and clearly, he was set on an answer.
"I think you should decide." Laura said with a small smile at her husband. She knew what he wanted already; he would do anything for Wanda who had lost her brother in a selfless sacrifice for him.
"Have you talked to Wanda about it?" Clint said, looking back at Natasha who was smiling softly at him. Laura had a feeling Natasha knew they were going to say yes already. Natasha knew Clint just as well as she did, and Wanda was his sweet spot, just like his kids were.
"I haven't, I didn't want to do that before I know you said yes. And I thought maybe that it would come better from you than me too. so, it doesn't seem like I forced you into it" Natasha said, looking at them both with a thankful smile.
"I can call her tomorrow then?" Clint said, looking at Laura who smiled at him in agreement.
"All I want is for everyone to be happy. But with everything going on I think we just need a break from each other. I don't think it will last forever, but Wanda can't make the space between them like Steve can by going on a mission and such." Natasha said with a small sigh. "I just want her to feel safe. And when her family can't do that… then maybe she needs a new one who can." She said, turning to Laura before standing up.
"I think I'm going to take a shower. I will talk to you both tomorrow, okay?" She looked at them softly. Laura smiled back, and Clint nodded.
"Good night, Talia." Laura whispered, watching Natasha disappear out of the room, and Clint picking up his phone.
After Clint had called Maria to get a quick briefing he and Laura talked for a while. The idea of having Wanda over wasn't in itself a problem. But Laura was feeling a kind of pressure on her with this agreement. She didn't want to disappoint anyone, nor make anyone feel not welcome.
Of course, it was all about time and perspective, but it was a new and kinda scary thing. They were essentially doing what they had done for Natasha again, just ten years later.
Laura was just about to go to bed when she passed Natasha's room. The door was open, and Laura could see into the room. Natasha didn't always leave the door open, and Laura couldn't help but feel a little bit curious now that she had.
"Natasha?" Laura asked carefully knocking on the inside of the door. This room, like Natasha's old one, also had a bathroom in it, and she could see Natasha stand by the mirror dying her hair carefully. The newly dyed red hair looked great, and it was a beautiful, saturated orange colour with some hint of some colder tones instead of warm. Her hair had also gotten some of its length back again, reaching just below her collarbone.
"Hi." Natasha said, lifting her head to look at Laura through the mirror. She was wrapped in her bathrobe, and Laura could see a new scar along Natasha's leg she hadn't seen before.
"Thinking about something or?" Natasha said smiling at her before putting down the towel carefully turning to her.
"Not really, just happy to see you." Laura said looking at her with a small curious look. Natasha smiled at her before walking over to her closet with a thoughtful look.
"Do you have something I could borrow to sleep in?" Natasha said, looking through a very empty closet. Natasha hadn't been here at all, and the few things that were in her closet was the things that had gotten saved from the old house. And even that hadn't even been Natasha's clothes in the first place. But a mix of Clint's and Laura's that Natasha liked to "borrow".
"Yeah, sure," Laura said walking out of the room quickly to get a pyjamas set for Natasha. After spending a few minutes looking for Natasha's favourite hoodie, also known as Laura's hoodie, she returned to the redhead.
"Here." Laura said, handing Natasha some pants and a hoodie. The redhead smiled at her before taking it from her and turning around.
"You know, after a few months of not seeing you, that concerned face is a part I haven't missed, I'm going to be honest." Natasha said, walking into the bathroom while talking to her. Even with her back towards Laura, Laura knew Natasha was wearing a small grin. She could hear it in her voice.
"Am I wrong for being worried about my best friend?" Laura said sitting down on her bed waiting for Natasha. While she hadn't felt very worried while they talked, she wasn't surprised Natasha had looked through it.
"No, but I like I prefer you happy." Natasha said, walking around the corner. She looked at Laura with a serious look. She looked somewhat concerned, and Laura felt some guilt in her building knowing Natasha was very sensitive to her environment.
"You look worried now too." Laura said quietly, making Natasha laugh softly at her followed by a deep breath.
"Yeah, I guess so." Natasha whispered with a small sigh, sitting down beside beside Laura, an empty look filling her eyes as she leaned back in the bed.
They sat like this for a while. None of them saying anything, just thoughts hanging over them mixed in the silence. After another 5 minutes Laura turned to Natasha, and she could see the worry in Natasha's face spread as their eyes met.
"What's wrong?" Laura said looking at Natasha who closed her eyes for a moment.
"Close the door." She whispered, looking down at her hands. Laura froze for a second before nodding slowly, slipping out of bed, and walking to the door closing it carefully.
"Nat, talk to me." Laura whispered, putting a hand under her chin to lift her head up to meet her eyes. Natasha looked at her with a small hurt look.
So, there was something wrong? This wasn't just about Wanda.
"I... umm." Natasha started, stumbling over her words. "The reason I haven't been talking to you this summer was because I umm. I've considered, maybe… doing something." Natasha said slowly. She turned away from her before taking a deep breath.
"You know the contact that I had. The one that used this house before I sold it?" Natasha tried again, turning to her again. Laura nodded slowly at her, listening to her carefully.
"Well, he has been looking around into something. And so, have I. After I went after Bucky, I realized that many of the people who were active back in my time are still active. People I didn't think was active or could be.
And he… he has this small safehouse in Norway just on the west side not that far away from the sea, and he offered it to me if I wanted to stay there for a while." Natasha turned to her and looked at her seriously.
Laura looked at her, not sure what she had just heard. A pang of guilt hit her.
Why was she feeling guilty now?
"You're leaving again?" Laura whispered, looking at Natasha. It was all she was able to say. She was so confused. Why was she leaving? And why didn't she tell her earlier? Had something happened? Had she done something wrong again?
She could feel tears, but she didn't want to cry.
Not now.
Natasha nodded slowly, looking back at her with the same look she was giving her. Pain, confusion. "I am, yeah." Natasha whispered back.
Laura just nodded whipping a small tear off her face trying to collect herself. At least long enough so Natasha could finish her explanation.
"I have only told Pepper, and she said she was okay with me leaving if I thought I had to. We've been talking about it for a while. And I... I just have this feeling. And I promise I will be careful, but something just keeps pulling me towards Europe again." Natasha looked at her. Laura could only nod. She was so confused. She didn't want her to leave again. She wanted to be selfish.
"I understand." Laura whispered, looking at her with a small half-hearted smile. The words felt like they got stuck in her throat and she had to force them out. To force the words out of her when every single part of her wanted to tell her no.
"But I don't want to leave you again. I don't want to leave you like I did last year. I know what I did was wrong, and I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt you. Or the kids. Or Clint. I don't want to feel like I'm abandoning you." Natasha jumped closer to her, grabbing her hand.
Laura looked at her with a small smile, thinking about how that was all she ever wanted to hear. To know that she still cared and understood how much Laura had missed her.
Natasha looked at her while she tried to get her tears away from her face. The look Natasha gave her was pleading and Laura finally understood what Natasha was actually doing. What she was actually asking of her.
"Are you asking for my blessing?" Laura said with a choke laughing between her streaming tears. Natasha laughed back before dragging her into another hug.
She felt Natasha hold around her tightly. Leaning her head on hers as she hugged through her crying and shaking. She could feel her hands in her hair. And she knew she couldn't force Natasha to say back. Even if that was all she wanted.
Natasha pulled back slowly, looking at her with a small smile brushing away some of her tears.
"I understand, and I support you." Laura said looking at Natasha with a small tearful smile. "I will always support you, Natasha."
They sat there together in silence for a while, just taking in each other's company again. Laura had missed Natasha more than she could ever explain. And now having to watch her go again, hurt. Throughout the last few years she had, had this feeling of their friendship fading and her slipping away from her. She knew Natasha wasn't going after everything just to hurt her, but it felt like that.
Maybe she was wrong. Maybe her selfishness had taken the best of her, but watching Natasha be so ready to leave them already felt impossibly hard. And it felt wrong. What was her motive, other than just wanting to? What could be so important that's she wanted to leave everyone she loved, her family?
What was her drive? What was pulling on her?
Was it even something that was pulling on her? Or were they pushing her away?
"Can I ask you something?" Laura asked carefully, turning to Natasha, watching as Natasha looked back at her slowly.
"Yes?" Natasha looked at her with a small, concerned look.
"Are you happy?" Laura said, looking at her with a small smile. Natasha turned to her surprised clearly not expecting that question from her.
"Wanda said you seemed happier after you can home with Bucky." Laura admitted, giving her a small grimace. She had wanted to ask Natasha for weeks now, but it felt wrong to bring it up. Not only because she was asking about Natasha's quality of life, which she knew very well had been very up and down over the years, but it was also a risk of hearing something she didn't want to know.
She watched as Natasha smiled softly at her before shaking her head.
"Yeah, I guess I am?" Natasha said slowly looking into the room thoughtful. "I guess I haven't thought about it like that?" She added with a distant voice.
Laura looked at her while she thought about it. She herself didn't have much to support the theory, but she did want to hear Natasha's side, to see if she had done something wrong like part of her believed.
"I think. I think that maybe after everything, I maybe have felt that I did a change?" Natasha started slowly. "I mean, I always worked with the goal of trying to make up for the pain I caused, but after being able to do something for Bucky, somebody I not only know as a friend, but somebody I have known has gone through a lot. I think maybe that has changed what I feel."
Natasha turned to her and looked at her seriously. Her eyes were shining thoughtful, and Laura could only nod as she watched Natasha reflect over everything that had happened.
"I don't like how it's been keeping me away from you, Clint and the kids, but knowing now I have a chance to do something. And I mean, now after everything, I felt like I have had the opportunity to do something new. Something that I know gives results. And I mean knowing have done something good, and will be able to continue to make a chance by leaving now. I guess it has made me happier yeah." Natasha finished, smiling at her with a distant smile. She could see Natasha's eyes unfocused in front of her, staring into nothing as she thought about it some more.
Laura turned away from her.
Will be able to continue to make a chance by leaving now.
"Why?" Natasha said, nudging her carefully when she didn't look at her again. "Laura?" Natasha tried again, pushing her lightly again to force her to look.
"I don't know." Laura said leaning back at the headboard with a sight not wanting to take the conversation further. "I don't know Natasha. Just forget it." she said again, shaking her head to get Natasha to drop it.
"No. Stop lying. What is bothering you?" Natasha's voice cracked, and Laura lifted her head to see a heartbroken face. The guilt was building again, and she forced herself to look away so she wouldn't completely break.
"I said leave it Natasha!" her own harsh voice surprised her, and the second she let it slip she knew she had done a big mistake. She turned to Natasha who looked at her shocked. Her mouth fell open and her big eyes stared at her in shock.
"What? I, Laura?" Natasha whispered as Laura pushed herself of the bed turning away from her. She couldn't do it. She couldn't look at her. Not now. She refused.
Don't look back.
Don't look back.