We did the usual campy stuff around the fire minus the rendition of "We are the Champions" again. We were all way too tired to sing anyway.
I sat in between Connie and Fulton trying not to listen to Portman bitch and moan about how we made extra mess for him to clean up with our little water fight. It was such a shame that he was Fulton's best friend otherwise I would have been the worlds biggest bitch towards him right then.
Coach Bombay was trying to lighten the mood a little by sharing some hockey stories with us from when he played in the Minors. Adam, Guy and Charlie were listening with great interest as they were probably the biggest hockey nuts I've ever met. Before I came to join the Ducks I thought I was bad.
Dwayne was keeping his distance from Connie although he kept glancing at her before turning away looking a million times guilty than what he did before.
"Okay Ducks so we're going home tomorrow" Bombay was giving us the instructions about packing up our little campground properly.
"Thank god for that" Connie whispered to me.
I had to agree with her. Although it had been the best camping trip I've ever been on, it was definitely starting to wear thin, especially because everyone was so tired and grumpy.
"I thought you'd be keen to stay a few extra days with Fulton" Connie nudged me.
"Yeah I do but this whole camp thing is starting to bug me. Its making everyone crazy, we should be happy not fighting with each other" I say realising I must have just sounded like a Dr Phil clone.
Connie wrinkled her nose. I've noticed that she does that whenever she's trying to think of something to say.
"Me and Guy are NEVER getting back together, at the moment I'm likely to decapitate him with my hockey stick or slit his throat with my skates" Connie's reaction to my statement was certainly colourful.
"Should I be worried? I mean you're not becoming homicidal or anything are you Moreau?" Portman had heard the last part of our conversation.
Fulton looked even paler than usual. He knew Connie a whole lot better than I did. Maybe she was being serious.
"Depends on who I feel like killing at the time. Wanna become a homicidal maniac with me Portman?" Connie replied with a strange look.
Portman grinned "Hell yeah" he replied.
"Guys, you're not serious are you?" my voice is barely a whisper. I had trouble reading the look on Connie's face.
"PSYCH!" Connie yelled laughing hysterically.
"That wasn't funny!" I protested. The other Ducks were watching us with interest.
Portman joined in with the laughter.
"Oh Gaffney you should have seen your face!" he chuckled.
Fulton put a comforting arm around my shoulder.
"You guys suck" I complain. I had to laugh, she did have me worried for a moment then.
Fulton shot Connie and Portman a dirty look "That's not nice guys" he stuck up for me as he kissed me on the cheek.
"Hey Coach Mackay do you have anymore marshmallows?" Goldberg asked. He'd been calling her "Coach Mackay" ever since she'd saved us from elimination by pretending to be our Coach when Bombay was off having his midlife crisis.
"Yes Goldberg I do" Miss Mackay smiled as she left the group to get the marshmallows.
Averman snorted as Goldberg rubbed his hands together excitedly with anticipation.
"Fulton, Portman would you mind going to get enough suitable sticks for everyone?" Coach Bombay asked the Bash Brothers.
"Say what?" Portman hadn't been listening.
"Come on, idiot!" Fulton dragged his larger Bash Brother up by the back of his jacket and hauled him off.
I must say it was kinda funny to watch.
"Miss Mackay have I ever told you you're my favourite tutor?" Averman asked with a grin as Miss Mackay returned with two large bags of marshmallows.
"Averman she's your only tutor" Charlie pointed out with a laugh.
"That wasn't my point Spazzway!" Averman shot back with a frown. His joke had been ruined once again.
Coach Bombay chuckled "Oh I still remember the first time I heard that from Karp, no offence Charlie but you sure showed me why they called you that"
Dwayne, Luis, Russ, Ken and I looked at each other confused who the hell was Karp?
"Dave Karp, one of the District 5 Ducks, he was like a keg on legs really" Goldberg explained getting impatient that the Bashes hadn't returned with the sticks.
"Goldberg how would you know what a keg looks like?" Adam retorted.
Goldberg just raised an eyebrow "Hello? My parents delicatessen is licensed you idiot!" he rolled his eyes.
"Oh sorry" Adam lowered his eyes to the ground.
I had to feel sorry for the cake-eater. Just when he thought he had a good insult for the others, they always shot it to pieces.
"Yeah the Karpilundi stopped the puck with his head once" Averman interrupted remembering the incident.
"Wait a minute y'all I'm confused, Coach why'd Charlie show ya why they called him Spazzway?" Dwayne asked.
Coach Bombay grinned as Charlie moaned. He hated this story.
"First game that I was coaching we were getting our butts whipped by the Hawks and Charlie finally got the puck and was on a breakaway. He looked good too. I think I said something like come on or alright or something like that when Karp politely informed me that, and I quote "Spazzway, he'll screw up", before Charlie took a shot, missed the puck completely and fell over before sliding into the boards" Coach explained.
The rest of us laughed at the tale except for Charlie who looked plain embarrassed.
"Tell us more about District 5" I ask. I always knew there were some original Ducks who didn't make it to Team USA and after hearing that I was now intrigued.
"There was the time Fulton got kicked out of the championship game" Goldberg started before Connie quickly told him to shut up.
"What did I say?" Goldberg was mumbling.
"He got kicked out? Why?" I ask ignoring the glances the original Ducks were giving each other.
Connie looked defeated. She waved her hand at Goldberg as if she were giving the green light to go ahead.
"Coach made this really cool play with Tammy and Tommy Duncan doing their little figure skating thing, anyway Tammy starts spinning in front of the net and the Hawks are just staring at her then Tommy gives her the signal, he passes the puck and BAM! She scores" Goldberg explained.
"What does that have to do with Fulton?" Luis asked before I had a chance to.
"Well McGill knocked Tammy over on purpose as she was skating back to the box and Fulton got mad and flipped him over the bench and started picking a fight with the rest of the Hawks, that's why he got kicked out" Goldberg continued.
I could feel several pairs of eyes burning into me. I knew they were waiting on my reaction. I wasn't jealous, I mean Fulton didn't even know me back then and he was just protecting a teammate. He'd do the same thing for any of us.
"Cool" I reply wishing I'd come up with something better to say than that.
"So any more stories?" Ken asked politely trying to take the focus off of me for which I was thankful. I was starting to feel like a test subject.
"Connie and Guy making out on TV!" Charlie hooted.
"Shut up Conway" Guy warned.
"Who made out on TV?" Portman and Fulton had returned and Portman was wanting to know the details.
I saw the grin on Fulton's face as it registered what we were talking about.
"Connie and Guy were making out when we won the Pee Wee Championship game and when it was broadcast on the news they showed the footage of them kissing. It was so funny" Charlie finished. He'd teased his two best friends for weeks after that.
"It was embarrassing!" Connie grumbled.
"Hey how come you didn't make out with me when we won the World Championship?" Portman tried to sound hurt.
"Because I didn't want to!" Connie laughed.
Wait a minute! Was Portman flirting with Connie? I thought they couldn't stand each other.
Guy remained silent. I felt a little sorry for him, first he breaks up with Connie, then she starts flirting shamelessly with Dwayne, they have a huge fight, their first real kiss is dragged up as a camp story and labelled funny and now Connie was all chummy with Dean Portman, a guy she swore she didn't like at all.
Unfortunately Fulton decides to ask "What stories did we miss?" to which Luis gleefully replies.
"Oh just telling Julie about how you got kicked out of a championship game for your old girlfriend Tammy"
"Tammy wasn't my girlfriend" Fulton protested. I don't know who he was trying to convince more, me or the other Ducks.
"Sure Fulton, sure. You never got yourself kicked out of a game for me. Frankly I'm hurt!" Averman pretended to be wounded.
"That's because half the time you deserve to be knocked down for your comments!" Jesse stuck up for Fulton.
"I resent that!" Averman exclaimed.
"So tell us another story, I like hearing about all y'all adventures" Dwayne spoke up.
Averman looked at Charlie "Well there was the dog shit purse" he said slowly knowing that the others would be dying to hear that story.
"Averman, its poop not sh…well that word" Coach Bombay scolded almost tripping himself up over the words.
"C'mon tell us!" everyone was urging. It appeared that only Charlie and Averman knew what was going on with that story.
"Are you okay?" Fulton whispered to me as Charlie was starting to tell the story.
"Yeah why wouldn't I be?" I replied knowing exactly why he was asking me.
"She was never my girlfriend you know" he looked me in the eyes as he spoke.
"I believe you" I said reaching out for his hand.
"Good" he replied.
"SSHHH! We're trying to hear the story" Portman scolded from his place next to Connie.
"Sorry" we both mumbled and sat back to tune into Charlie's story about the dog shit, sorry poop, purse and the dickhead that chased them.