Disclaimer: All Drake & Josh characters copyright their proper owners. I just wrote this.

Author's Note: I wanted to make sure I didn't confuse anyone with this. Drake and Christine last saw each other when they were eleven. This is six years later. Yes, I purposely made them seventeen for those who may have been curious since they are sixteen on the show. This is probably my favorite chapter in this story. It also happens to be the longest. I hope you enjoy.

Chapter Four: My First Kiss

An eleven-year-old Drake Parker sat on the porch swing with a girl about his age sitting across from him.

"We just have to try and remember," said the little Drake. He leaned forward and felt her soft lips touch his. It felt right. He pulled away, staring into her emerald green eyes...

Seventeen-year-old Drake Parker flipped over in bed as he woke up from his dream. He glanced at the clock. It was only 6:30 in the morning. Why was he up this early, and why was he having a dream like that? He thought about the dream. Then he thought about the last day he saw Christine before she moved away.

My first kiss...

Why, why had things ended up the way they had? Why did her dad have to be moved to San Francisco? Why couldn't they have gone to middle school and all of high school together? Why did they have to be torn apart at the time when Drake himself was just dealing with the loss of a father figure, simply because the man he used to call "Daddy" didn't want him anymore? Walter had been a better father to Drake than Ford had. Walter wanted to know Drake. Ford ignored Drake's letters, and in doing that, ignored Drake's existence.

Drake recalled the day Christine had found him crying because Ford hadn't answered one of his letters. It was the first of many that would go unanswered. Christine tried to take his mind off of it as best as a girl her age could, but it was still in the back of his mind. He enjoyed his time spent with her though. He felt wanted when they were together. She spent time with him because she wanted to, not because she was forced to be with him. Then she moved away. No, he kissed her. Then she moved away. Why did he do these things? He let his head fall in his hands.

"Drake?" asked Josh from his bed.

"Yeah?" said Drake, glancing up at his brother.

"What are you doing awake at seven o'clock in the morning?"

"I had a dream," Drake replied.

"A nightmare?" Josh questioned.

"No, far from a nightmare," Drake responded.

"So, what's the problem?"

Drake turned to Josh. Things were weird. He didn't quite know what was going on with himself.

"I have no idea," Drake replied. He really didn't. He didn't know why he didn't want to show Christine who he was now.

"You want to talk about it?" Josh asked.

"I don't think so," Drake replied.

"Does this have anything to do with Christine?"

"Why do you keep asking that?"

"Because I figure eventually I'll be right."

"Fine, you're right, okay? Happy?"

"Whoa, why are you dreaming about Christine?"

"It wasn't exactly a dream. Well, it was, but it was also a memory."

"A memory, of what?"

"Of her and me and the day she told me she was leaving. The last day I saw her."

"Oh," Josh said. He didn't know what to say to that.

"Yeah," Drake continued. "I guess that day's been at the back of my mind. I know I'll never forget it."

"Must have been pretty sad, huh?"

"Well, yeah, but it was also nice."

"Nice? Drake, that was the last day you saw your best friend and you say it was nice?"

"You don't know what happened," Drake replied.

"No, I don't. What did happen?"

"Well," Drake sighed, "that was the day we both had our first kiss." He glanced at Josh who had a "so?" kind of look on his face. "Together," Drake continued, rolling his eyes.

"Oh," said Josh. "Oh, wow. I had no idea you two were like that...um, wow."

"It never went beyond that. We weren't even boyfriend and girlfriend, if you can even seriously have boyfriends and girlfriends in fifth grade. No dating at all. Just best friends who happened to kiss each other when saying goodbye."

"Wow. That's why you're acting weird?"

"I don't know," Drake replied. "The strangest part is, I really don't want to go out with Candice tonight. I feel bad, but I don't want to."

"You should probably call her early today and let her know that then," Josh replied. "If she doesn't know, man, you'll be in trouble."

"Yeah. I'll do that right before lunch. Wow. I'm awake before lunch."

"Dude, that is weird," Josh replied. "Starting to show up on time for class too. My, is this a change in Drake Parker? Christine must be good for you..."

Drake picked up a pillow and threw it at Josh.

"Hey!" Josh yelled.

"You were asking for it..."

Christine flipped through the channels on the television. There wasn't much to watch. The cartoons had ended and nothing good was on after that. She couldn't even call someone to hang out with that day. She thought about Drake, but after last night, she wasn't sure. She thought about calling Mindy but decided they didn't know each other that well, so she didn't want to call her and bother her about spending time with her. There just weren't many people to hang out with now.

She sat down at the computer to see if any of her friends in San Francisco were online. Nope. It was a Saturday. They were all out having fun. Then someone signed on to the internet. She looked at the screenname. She quickly signed out of her AIM. That was the last person she wanted to talk to online or anywhere else. She was really bored. She picked up the book she'd been reading and sat on the couch to continue reading it.

"She knew that if she let herself remember, she couldn't tell him the lie he had to hear.

'Forney . . .'

She wouldn't be able to break his heart . . .

'No, Forney. I don't love you. Not in the way you need to be loved. Not in that way.'

. . . and she wouldn't be about to break her own."

Christine had always gotten depressed at this point in the story. Novalee wouldn't tell Forney that she loved him. Christine often thought that maybe if she had told Drake that day that they'd made a mistake, perhaps the pain wouldn't have been this bad when she did leave, and she wouldn't be as disappointed with the way he appeared to act toward girls now. Then again, as the novel went on, Novalee realized that she'd made a mistake in not showing her true feelings. Christine sighed and had just started to continue reading when the phone rang.

"Hello?" she said, answering it.

"Hey, Christine. It's Drake."

"Hi," she said.

"I wondered if I could talk to you today."

"About what?"

"About everything. There's a few things I wanted to tell you."

"Okay," she sighed. "Why don't you come by my house? My mom won't be home until later."

"Alright," Drake replied. "See you in a little bit."

"Bye," Christine hung up the phone. What did he want to tell her? Why had she invited him over where they'd be alone? Was she still thinking about that kiss and the promises he had made that night six years ago? She knew she was. Sometimes, she could still feel the sweet sensation of his lips against hers. A part of her also wished that Josh hadn't interrupted them the previous night.

She finally got up and put her book away. She paused and looked out her bedroom window. Things were difficult to get used to now. Her friends in San Francisco had promised to keep in touch. She had to wait until late at night for them to be online though, as they were spending the weekends with their friends and family. Two things she was seriously lacking right now.

The doorbell rang, and she hurried downstairs to let Drake inside.

"Nice house," he said, walking through the door.

"Thanks," she replied.

"Look, I wanted to talk to you about myself."

"That doesn't sound shallow," Christine teased.

"I want to talk about how I've changed."

"You're right. You have."

"Yeah, I know. I know you don't like it either."

"Drake, I..."

"Let me finish. First of all, I know I look like an idiot in my classes. Well, after Ford quit writing me back, one of the first things to slip was my school work. It eventually became this way. I don't do my homework, I don't study for tests, and I just don't do well."

"It was just weird seeing you, who used to get such good grades, kind of slack off that way," she replied. "But you're not an idiot. I could never think that of you."

"Thanks, but I know I'm not the best student. Mrs. Haifer would agree with that."

"I could tell."

Drake paused. He had done very well in school before his parents divorced. Unfortunately, it slipped and never came back. Part of him wished it had, but it hadn't. He'd grown to enjoy not having to do any work unless he wanted to do it. Besides, it had meant he could go out with more girls. After that thought, he continued what he wanted to say.

"The thing that bothers me most is what you think of the way I'm dating."

"Oh, that," she replied.

"Yes, that."

"If you want to date that way, it's none of my business."

"Christine, you're my best friend. I don't want you to hate something I do."

"How can you say we're still best friends? Six years have gone by, Drake. Things change. People change."

Drake looked taken aback for a moment.

"I just...look, I know it's probably bad, but I do date that way. Lately, I've been kicking myself for it. I don't know why."

"You're starting to sound like my dad."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Christine..."

"I can't believe you. You nearly kissed me again last night. What was that about?"

"I just, I didn't, I wasn't thinking."

She looked a bit hurt but tried to quickly hide it, but Drake had seen the look on her face. Now he felt awful.

"Obviously not," she replied. "Yet again, you sound like my dad."

Drake glanced down at the coffee table. Among the mail was a letter for Christine from her dad, unopened.

"What's wrong?" Drake asked. "You haven't opened his letter."

"I don't want to communicate with him," Christine said icily.

"Why not?"

"He's terrible, that's why!"

"What could he have possibly..."

"You don't understand. You can't understand."

Drake sighed. When she got angry, she got angry.

"I want nothing to do with him," she snapped.

Drake paused. That hurt him.

"You know what the worst feeling in the world is? When your own father doesn't want to know you. He's your dad, and he wants to talk to you. Don't let that go."

"What about you?" she dared to try. "Why don't you just go to New York if you want him to pay attention to you so badly?"

Her feistiness that he loved was bitter and cruel at the moment. As much as he wanted her to start coming out of her shell, the last comment really stung. How could she say that? He stared at her. That wasn't like her at all. Then again, time did change people. No, she would never mean that, but Drake didn't know how to respond to it.

Christine stared back at him. Her eyes became less stony. She saw the pain she caused. She'd just hurt her best friend. She couldn't deny that he would always be her best friend. She hadn't been that close to anyone in San Francisco. What had she done?

"Drake," she whispered.

"I have to go," he said.

"No, Drake," she replied, softly. "Please..."

"What's there to say if I do stay?" Drake asked.

"Don't go," she begged. "Please, Drake..."

Drake looked back at her. This was tearing him up inside.

"I'm sorry," she said. Her eyes were full of tears. "I wish I could take it back."

Drake hated when a girl cried. To make matters worse, it was his best friend. He knew she hadn't meant what she said, but it still hurt. She glanced away from him, the tears still glistening in her eyes. Drake was broken up inside. He finally wrapped his arms around her. She let herself settle into his warm embrace as she returned the hug. They both needed comfort. He had no idea why he was willing to forgive her. It hurt a lot, but he was. Her tight embrace told him that she hadn't wanted to hurt him. Drake still wasn't understanding, however. Why? Why was he acting this way? He'd canceled his date with Candice. He didn't want to go out with anyone that night at all. Why had he forgiven Christine quickly? She was sincere in her apology, he knew that, but he couldn't understand the things he was doing, the things she was doing.

"I know this is tough," he said. "What you're going through sucks. I wish I could make it easier on you. You know that can be just as hard as going through it yourself. When you're ready to open up, I'm here. I'll always be here, but don't let what's happening ultimately control your life."

"Thank you, Drake."

They let go of each other.

"One question," Drake said.

"What?" Christine asked.

"Why are you all alone on a Saturday?"

"Well, I just...I don't know..."

"You're not that social. Right. Well, come on, let's go."

"What? Where?"

"The Premiere."

"Why?"

"Because you need to get out of the house, that's why. I'm not letting you become a hermit. Now let's go."

"Demanding aren't we?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Hey, I'm just trying to help," he said, a bit offended until he saw her trying to hide her smile. "Yeah, that's me. The high overlord. Now do you want to go to the Premiere with me or spend the rest of the day here with no other form of human life?"

"I get it. I'll go," she said, laughing. "Give me a few minutes, I'm going to go change."

"Okay," Drake replied. He watched as she hurried up the stairs. He had intended to tell her something else, but they'd gotten off track. He had wanted to tell her that he never wanted to pull on her what all the other girls he dated ended up with in the end. That didn't happen. He didn't want to bring it up anymore. He was still trying to comprehend why Christine's coming back to San Diego made him question what he was doing. It was new to him. To add to that, not only did he not understand why he was suddenly breaking dates, but he couldn't understand why he didn't feel like not seeing all those girls wasn't bad. It was just different for him to think that way.

Christine had added a new thought to nag at Drake's mind. His father, Ford. Maybe she was right. Maybe he should take matters into his own hands. Wouldn't it be better to find out what really happened? Drake pushed this thought aside, though. Right now, Christine needed his help with whatever she was going through with her parents' divorce. Her needs were going to come first, and when she needed to open up to someone, he would be there.

A/N: As I said, probably my favorite chapter. Please review and let me know. Especially the dream portion. If it's too difficult to see the transition, let me know because Drake will dream often in this trilogy. Seriously, I love the reviews. Let's me know if I'm doing the story well enough, what you like, what you hate.

The portion of text that Christine reads about Novalee and Forney is from Where the Heart Is by Billie Letts on page 326 (of the book I have at least). It's a wonderful novel that's been adapted into a movie and I highly recommend reading the novel or seeing the movie.