Detective Inspector Alec "Help, Someone's Flirting With Me" Hardy
"So you're new in town then, Sir?"
DI Hardy made an affirmative noise.
"And you're Scottish?"
"Uh-huh." (Translation: Stop asking questions, that's my job. I'm the copper after all, and you're the granny who hit her neighbour with her car.)
The elderly lady brought her face a bit closer to Hardy's and lowered her voice to a conspirational whisper: "You know, I've always wondered what you lot wore underneath..."
Hardy frowned. "What do you mean?"
"Why, underneath your skirt, obviously. Sorry, kilt."
Hardy's speechlessness was, unfortunately, taken as an invitation to continue: "Come on, Inspector, I can't be the first woman asking you this question."
At that point Hardy thought it wiser to leave the room and ask (well, order) a lower-ranking colleague to continue this particular interrogation.