Ch 14. Grave Light

AN: Special thanks to rukiaprincess who helped look this over, offering wonderful critique and even helping with titling this chapter!

"I find it a shame for a woman to be widowed so young."

Manta's pallid complexion was enough to convince Anna of her choices, or lack thereof. She couldn't offer him as the sacrificial lamb, couldn't bear responsibility for an innocent death—at least not Manta's.

Sitting at her fiancé's bedside, she wondered how Hao had done it. Was it gradual poisoning, slipping toxins little by little into his meals? Deceive people into thinking it was a natural illness and then escalating it into a remarkably grave condition?

It didn't matter, she concluded. She would have to compromise her pride to save the person she had grown to care for and respect.

And fighting all the time tired her out.

Two weeks following her visit, she saw the events unfold like old moves replayed on a go board. The winner had already been decided and every single move mapped out. The black and white stones only needed pushing and Hao was the invisible hand. Thus the game was set and Anna's fate had been sealed—she was to marry Asakura Hao within one month's time.

The cloudless, azure sky marked a placid day. The weather had cooled down considerably to a comfortably warm temperature. Summer neared its end.

Ren's feet carried him back to her courtyard; they mechanically climbed up the wooden steps to her veranda where she sat, the extended roof shielding her from the afternoon sun. She had her legs and feet tucked beneath her and both hands rested demurely on her lap. He passed Anna without saying anything---and she let him pass her--- without her saying anything. She kept her face forward even when he settled his back against the wall behind her. As he expected, the place was empty save for Anna, himself, and the scenery of the garden; Anna rarely kept guards or servants around her.

The seceding season dabbed the world with gentle sunlight. Faintly, the air smelled of ripened summer blooms and autumn's reddening leaves. An intangible beauty, matching Anna's melancholic countenance, it mingled both sadness and sweetness.

Ren couldn't gather any words for her; the usual quips were unformed and his sarcastic temperament lost. He couldn't help but be his real self now---stripped of sarcasm, leaving his true emotions unguarded---so he contemplated on speaking very carefully, even as little as possible to avoid betraying his feelings. She had undeniably brought out his serious side and he was beginning to feel the troublesome nature of it all. He just stared at her, losing himself in brooding and reverie as he studied her every detail, down to the white colored teacup sitting beside her---left utterly untouched. The sea of her navy robe sprawled around her, as if alive, like the lengthy bond mane streaming loosely against her back.

A somber expression bore on her delicate face as she gazed into the nothingness ahead. Anna almost looked docile, a stark contrast between her previous self. Where was that biting attitude he had come to know? He waited for Anna to speak---but she wouldn't and he couldn't.

What was to be said anyhow? Hadn't he already been too late? And what difference did it make now as opposed to her engagement from before?

But it was different.

Significantly different. Hao was the difference; this made her impending marriage seem more real and somehow very grave. Ren admitted there was something awfully threatening about Hao nowadays. Even their friendship seemed changed; a great divide having settled in between them, as evidenced by their last conversation.

"It sure is a magnificent sword, though you didn't have to deliver it personally." His friend smirked obnoxiously again, as Ren reflected on how much of a sore sight that expression had become.

"I'm not here to play. I have questions to ask you."

"Is it really that difficult to admit your defeat, Ren?"

"I've ceased looking at it as a game long ago."

"Well, I'm glad for you. That reminds me, you have yet to offer your congratulations."

"You're leading us in circles again so I'll get straight to the point. The death of the crown prince's closest officers...is that part of your means in obtaining power? Even to a lesser extent, there's Oyamada Manta's illness and his sudden remedy by breaking off the engagement to live in a covenant…it's too coincidental how this gives you the opportunity to "save" Anna's honor. If you orchestrated all of this, then you've gone too far."

"I've gone too far? Only people who say that end up staying in one place."

"Don't look down on me."

"Ha ha. Don't take it so seriously. It was just a joke. A joke!"

"A joke, huh? I hope so. You'd be committing treason if it were all true."

"Since when have you become such a serious person, Ren?"

"I've always been a serious person."

"If you're angry about the sword, let me assure you I'll take good care of it."

"Horai is not the issue. Just know what you're doing and what the consequences would be."

"I didn't think I was doing anything worth worrying about."

Ren paused a moment before replying. "You've really changed a lot, Hao. And not for the better."

All traces of Hao's playfulness disappeared then, but the smile remained displayed. "Are you done yet, Ren?" He spoke through teeth.

"Che. I guess I am."

"Then I hope you understand, I have to start the day early tomorrow—I trust you already know your way out." Ren quietly turned to leave. Before he reached the door, his friend admonished him in a low voice. "Don't get in the way, Ren. If ever you do, even our friendship won't be considered. I have no qualms about removing obstacles."

Thus, the conversation between two friends ended in that grim manner.

Ren looked at Anna once again; she hadn't shifted from her position. The more he reflected on the situation, the more he became angry. Why had she accepted? And why had she been acting so depressed? Had the events really been manipulated by Hao? Was he forcing Anna into marriage?

He wanted to confirm so many things with her but was positive she wouldn't cooperate. Damn, what was Ren supposed to say? Or do? It was surely different from putting on a tough façade or tricking a woman into his arms. And let's not forget---this was Anna. He was always awkward when it came to being honest about his heart, and she was somewhere in there—in his heart. Right now he needed Anna to talk, and his preference at covering up his vulnerabilities with indifference didn't seem appropriate as a strategy.

Desperate to do something—anything—but reveal his soft side, he lunged for the teacup sitting beside the person he so vehemently stressed over. It worked too, because she finally looked at him, although a bit oddly. The fact that her tea must have cooled down considerably was a positive also. He'd hate to think how the insipid liquid would have blazed his throat if he'd gulped it down hot. He hated his drinks bland and he hated them hot.

"Thirsty?" she asked sardonically. There, at least she broke the silence and things were starting to feel normal again.

"A little." Ren couldn't help but shoot her a wry grin.

"Good. Then a little compensation is due."

His smile transformed into a scowl. "Compensation for what? For drinking your flavorless tea?"

"Well, you drank it. So you owe me. You can start the first chore by---"

"I'm not your servant to push around."

"That was not your tea to drink."

"Well you weren't drinking it. And to be honest, the Tao family has much better tea than that. More than your feeble mind can imagine."

Anna rose from her place and motioned towards him. Ren prepared to counter her slap when she surprised him by snatching the tea cup from his hand instead. She slid the shoji to her room open. "Consider yourself lucky as I am not in the mood to---"

Ren seized her wrist before she could step into her room. "Enough already, Anna." The cup slipped from her fingers and shattered on the ground.

"I'll count to ten because I'm feeling generous. Unhand me before I finish…1..."

"Stop being so difficult..."

"2…"

"Stubborn woman…"

"3…"

"Stop counting…"

"4…"

"Stop it already…"

"5…"

"Hey…"

"6…7…"

"I'm the one who can make you happy!"

Anna stopped and for one brief second, Ren could have sworn he saw softness in her eyes.

"I knew that would make you stop counting." His smirk was met by her left-handed slap. He glared at her. "Of course slapping me was unnecessary."

"Leave before I do more than that."

"Consider it a dare then."

She slapped him again. This one hurt more than the previous.

"Anna, I'm being serious. I can make you happy."

"This lovesick persona doesn't fit you. Just go home already." She spoke in a bored tone and without looking at him.

He relinquished her wrist. "Take me seriously for once."

"You say the same things he does. You both assume my happiness depends on you two."

"Hao huh? Don't compare me to him."

"And how would you make me happy? I'll be his wife. Would I take you as a lover on the side and have you take me as your mistress?

"You're wrong. I would take you as my wife and ignore the opinion of others." He felt the ridiculousness of the words before they even left his mouth. This was the kind of effect she had on him.

"I doubt that. You care too much about form and appearances. Also don't forget that I feel nothing for you." Cold and biting words.

"I don't believe you. You must feel something."

"Annoyance. Boredom. Yes, you can count that as feeling something."

"You're really testing my patience with your stubbornness."

"Then leave like I've suggested."

"Why make things so difficult, Anna?" She didn't respond. "I can make you happy and I say it with conviction. It's not too late to break off your engagement with Hao."

"I can make my own decisions about my own future."

"Yet you're not making any. "

"I have. Agreeing to wed Hao was my own decision."

"The same as agreeing to wed Oyamada, but you didn't look any happier. Especially now, why make a decision that only causes you to sulk?"

"I wasn't sulking."

"Don't lie; I saw it on your face. You're binding yourself to someone you don't love. Choose me instead; things will be different. And if Hao's threatening you, then I will protect--"

"Protect me from what? You're making things up and you've conveniently assumed I have warm feelings for you."

"Well..I…I have become fond of you, and I'm confident you've become fond of me too."

"Just forget about those foolish feelings."

"My feelings aren't foolish." Swiftly he cupped the back of her head in his hands and pulled her face to his, pressing his lips firmly against hers. It was a simple kiss—no more, no less--seemingly done in one fluid movement. He pulled away quickly and locked his eyes on hers, waiting for Anna to catch her breath and maybe even slap him.

No slap came. She looked at him dispirited and whispered, "Please leave," before slipping through her bedroom door and fiercely sliding it shut. The entire frame rattled.

He stood paralyzed in retrospection. This was the first time he'd heard grief in her voice. By instinct he raised his fist to rap it against the door but stopped himself before his knuckles hit parchment. She was still standing by the door; he could feel her weight leaning against it. Emotions were welling up inside of him now and he spoke over the lump in his throat. "Do you really want me to give up on you now?"

No answer. It was just as he expected.

He gave one last glance at the white papered door before reluctantly stepping away.

oOoOo

AN: Does she love Hao or Ren? LOL. BTW, I went back and revised all the chapters, even changing some dialog because I think I made Anna too bchy which sometimes didn't feel appropriate for the situation. So re-visit the other chaps if you would like. I also added a bit of notes in the first chapter regarding the time period this story is set in, so I urge you to take a peek if you haven't seen it yet. And THANK YOU REVIEWERS! Seriously, you guys are AWESOME, so that's why I worked extra hard to update this sooner!

P.S. NEED YOUR OPINION. How comfortable are you guys with sex scenes? I mean I'm not going to write any lime/lemon, I'll try to be more subtle, but I don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable reading this fic.

---11/20/05

Starian Princess: Thank you for being the first reviewer, it really eased up my fears about putting out a bad or blah chapter. And yeah, this Ren is for you! I hope you didn't think Ren was out OOC. To be honest, I have the hardest time writing that guy. He's so inconsistent sometimes.

Clarisse: OMFG the "breathless" emotican you used was so cute. It totally brightened my day. I love Hao and am making notes to add more hotness in the next chapter.

kittyblah: Lol, the surprise might take a while. I hope you like this chapter in the mean time (I know how cruel am I to drop the main character from the story).

Felix-samma: Aw man, it took forever to think of a way to get Anna out of that marriage. I'm really glad the reasoning worked for you. I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint.

yohxanna4ever: I did the happy dance when I saw your comment, lol. See you next chapter!

white artemis: We'll see, we'll see how much Anna resists such a good looking and cunning guy like Hao, especially when they get married. Uh oh, the odds are stacked really high against her….hope to hear from you again!

KuRoxTeNsHi: Yosh! I'll try my best to make Anna resist Hao's charms, although I personally wouldn't be able to resist his charms (oh plus she kind of has to marry him now). Thanks for the compliment!

hao-sama-rawks: Yup, Hao totally rocks! I actually ended up not liking the title after I got 3 chapters in, but by then I figured it'd be too late to change it. It was just to convey my negative view on polygamy. As for other characters, I'll randomly insert them in every now and then, but I didn't want to lose focus on the dynamics amongst Anna, Hao and Ren. Oh, and thanks to replying to my review!

Miakoda13: I love long reviews! It makes me feel appreciated! About Anna's refusal to marry Hao, I've only managed to allude to some of the reasons using the "pride" line but for the most part I sort of want to keep it ambiguous until a little later. Please bear with me until then!

EdElric745: I feel so flattered that you actually printed this out; I just hope it's the revised version because I'm actually kind of embarrassed by the originally posted version. Anyhow, I did change the rate as you suggested…as far as where this story is headed…well, we'll have to take it chapter by chapter.

silverfeathers: I had the biggest grin while reading your review, your energy definitely came across, LOL. Sorry, I'm making it ambiguous about how Anna really feels, but we'll see soon. Oh, and I hope your studies went well!

asn water: I'm also glad you're back! Oops, Anna did kind of give in easily, but I take it as a sign that the ice queen is starting to melt. Maybe? Now, to deal with Jeanne…