Ch 15. Violet

Her smile died midway. She could see her father looking at her cautiously from the corner of her eyes as she kept a constant gaze on the person sitting across from her. "Congratulations," Jeanne said just a few decibels above a whisper. Her anticipation in delivering her own good news became lost. "I hope to meet the recent addition to our family soon."

The weary lines on her father's face slackened a bit. "H-ha…T-that's right…Congratulations son-in-law…When will…"

Hao filled in for her father, who failed to finish his thoughts. "The ceremony will take place next month." He languidly swiveled the ceramic cup in his hand. Her own cup of tea grew cold.

"Next month, huh? So soon…" Her father nervously brought the ridged cup to his lips and drank the bitterer than usual concoction slowly.

"It would be best. I'm sure you've heard about her situation."

Her father threw her another sideways glance before reluctantly replying. "Uh, yes. We did hear about that. How fortunate for Kyouyama-san and her highness…For you to step in..."

"It was the least I could do for her highness." The cup continued to rotate in his hand, without spilling a drop.

Jeanne beat her father in responding. "That's very kind of you."

Hao brightened at this. "I'm glad you understand."

"Had my health been better today, I might even ask why you are doing favors for someone you've seemingly disliked before. Maybe I've imagined your slight resentment towards her highness?" She stood up from her seat to leave. The maid took the signal to collect the unfinished drink.

Looking half astonished, Hao dragged out, "A misinterpretation, for certain." He glanced up as she passed by him. "I hadn't known you weren't feeling well. I hope resting will expedite your recovery."

"I thank you and bid good night." She had only taken a couple of steps out of the long room before hearing the shrill sound of ceramic dropping against the floor. It seemed her father was not a shy man and, unexpectedly, rather quick in breaking her news.

Her body now bore Hao's first child.

"I wonder if it'll be a boy or a girl. No, I have a feeling it'll be a boy. Of course, I wouldn't mind having a daughter either…" He paced excitedly like a madman in front of her, grinning widely to himself and muttering with much seriousness at the same time. He had fallen back to his old self, a side lost for years. She suppressed the fragile tinge of happiness she felt, knowing all too well he would revert back soon enough.

"…perhaps you should transfer back to my estates. But then, my work will surely prevent me from paying you the attention an expectant mother needs…."

He rambled on some more, before stopping abruptly to look at her, as if he'd just noticed her presence for the first time. Snapping out of his momentary bliss, the sharp look returned to his penetrating eyes. A terse, "You're angry," was directed towards her.

"It is too early to say that I am angry. Still, I implore you leave before my feelings escalate into something resembling anger."

"You are ruining your own moment to be happy, as well as mine, Jeanne."

"The moment's passed, Hao. It's passed."

He looked disappointedly at her, and then away. "That's rather unfortunate. I'd much prefer celebrating with company rather than alone."

"Yes, I do find that regrettable." It was a genuine confession.

Anna saw the night pass as if with her vision blurred. The processions of the ceremony, the men's sake induced behaviors, and her body's mechanical movements---all were blurred except for two haunting faces.

The first one, a girl younger than Anna, studied both Anna and Hao with scholarly diligence. The pained eyes seemed to memorize everything about them, from the small shifting of weight between Anna's feet, to the constant triumphant smiles Hao exercised. By chance she briefly locked eyes with the timid girl and saw passive envy in her. It made Anna scoff inwardly, having realized the other's ignorance. The guest wished to be the bride while the bride wished to be the guest.

The other face left a more lasting impression. They had only met once before the wedding to exchange their awkward self-introductions, and currently, Anna caught herself occasionally stealing glances at Jeanne's downcast eyes and well-concealed pregnant belly.

Shaking her mind off of the troublesome details, she decided to concentrate on herself instead. Besides, her façade required constant maintenance. Skillfully she played the part of a bride, her visage managing different expressions, painstakingly balancing between fiery and icy. Her faux emotions remained displayed, even as the room spun from having drunk one sake cup too many, transforming the wedding decorations into offensive, glaring bursts of colors. They were still there even as cordial hands fastened over her own, leading her away from the inebriated bodies sprawled over tables and in hallways (a funny contrast from their orderly aristocratic selves during day).

Vaguely, she recalled taking note of a particular Tao's absence.

More clearly, she remembered following Hao with soft steps. Her heart didn't entirely feel sad, but it shook significantly; even her lungs forgot how to grasp enough air. So, giving into the exhaustion of having long fought her private battles, she drifted behind her man. The late summer moon peered down on them and dyed their surroundings the same violet shade as her favorite robe on him. The same violet as all the other nights he'd stood before her. The same violet painfully stabbing her when she tried to forget him. The same violet as hope, the same violet as despair. The same. All the same.

The violet night followed them into their appointed room, where the already set futon greeted them behind blossom schemed wall screens. Anna awoke at the touch of moistened fabric on her skin. Drawing her chin, upwards, between his forefinger and thumb, Hao wiped the rouge and powder off her face. "Let me know if I'm being too rough."

"I'm okay," she caught herself saying too faintly. "But I can do this myself."

"I know, but it's something I'd like to do."

"You know, right?" She pushed his hand away from her face. "You know this would never work out," she said, nearly shouting.

"As long as we don't snuff out each other's flames," he put a little too simply.

After tossing the face cloth aside, his two hands landed on her shoulders. Anna leveled her eyes to his. "I'll be sure to make things difficult for you, Hao."

She missed a breath when his arms scooped her up to be carried to their bedding. "You can make things as difficult as you want. It'll keep things interesting."

"So I'm only here for your amusement."

He laughed. "As I've repeated many times before, of course not."

She commanded her body steady itself beneath his hurried kisses. It had the effect of making her limbs rigid.

Hao stopped, looked at her, and settled on wrapping his arms around her waist instead.

"We can put this off for when you're ready. I'd rather have your heart in full before taking your body." Anna would have considered thanking him in her head if he hadn't added, "Of course I still have full claim on it if anyone else wants to try anything." His smirk could still be seen through the dark.

"You're an arrogant idiot," she growled, before flipping around to face away from her newly acquired husband. In good humor, Hao laughed and only re-secured his arms around her.

oOoOoOo

AN: It's so short, I know (making sad eyes at you..ish scared of this chapter's reviews). I promise next time it'll be longer, okay? Thanks everybody for the feedback, and since I can't respond to anonymous reviewers, be sure to leave an email if you have any questions (or better yet, why not get the wonderful account ffnet offers?).

12/21/05