The entire ride to the hospital felt like it was taking forever. Cragen kept trying to talk to her but she couldn't seem to form a coherent thought. Elliot was shot. He was lying in a hospital bed somewhere alone. And she'd broken up with him. It felt like the only option, the right thing to do. But now the thought of him dying, of him never knowing how damn much she needed him too made her heart stop. She must have made a sound because suddenly Cragen was reaching for her hand, squeezing tightly, "Breathe Olivia."

She turned to look at him and whispered, "I-I-"

He whipped the car into a parking spot and turned to her, "You were coming to tell me you were leaving again, weren't you?" She didn't respond, only swallowed the lump in her throat, "Why? I thought things were good."

She looked down, her hands were trembling, her skin was pale, "I have too…I have to do it. For him. For his kids."

And then he understood, "Ah. Kathy's not thrilled about this new development I take it?" She only shook her head and he sighed, "Come on."

She couldn't seem to move from her spot in the car even though her brain was screaming at her to get out. To go to him. To kiss him. To hold him. To beg for his forgiveness. To tell him she needed him. Wanted only him. That she'd wait as long as she needed too. That she'd give up anything for him if it meant they could be together. She'd live in two separate worlds if that's what he needed. But he had to live through this first. Cragen bent down beside her, "Olivia…"

Her voice cracked, "Cap…I can't do this."

"You have to do this. He needs you." He took her hand again and tugged gently, "I'm gonna be right here with you, okay? But you need to move."

She slumped forward and Cragen slowly extracted her from the car, leading her towards the hospital entrance. As they got closer, a memory washed over her and she felt sick to her stomach thinking about it.

Everything had happened so fast. One minute they were running after their suspect, Elliot was shouting at her to go left. The minute she did, she heard the shot. And when she turned back around, her heart stopped. Elliot was on the ground, face down against the pavement. The suspect was running away and she knew that part of her should go after him. But Elliot…Elliot…

Running forward, she fell beside him and saw the blood pouring from his leg, "Elliot. Elliot." He didn't move and she reached for her walkie, calling for an ambulance, trying to keep her voice calm but she felt like around her was moving in slow motion.

They'd been partners for two years now and he was her best friend. The person she trusted most in this world. She knew as a cop that the possibility of getting hurt was huge, but it hadn't happened yet. At least not this severely and the gravity of the situation overwhelmed her. She sat with him, stayed with him, until the paramedics pulled her off of him. John practically carried her to the car and drove off behind the ambulance to the hospital. The whole time, all she could think was he can't die.

The minute she stepped through the hospital doors, the chaos around her felt overwhelming. People were shouting. She saw them wheeling Elliot away and a Doctor was approaching them, "Who should we call for him?"

John looked at Olivia, she swallowed hard, "I'll…I'll call her."

The Doctor only nodded, and quickly walked away, "We'll let you know as soon as we have any information."

And then he was gone. John moved towards her, "Do you want me to-"

"No. I'm his partner. I should do it." She pointed towards the front desk, "Just…"

"I'll call Cragen and keep checking in." He gave her shoulder a squeeze and she knew he knew what she was feeling and thinking even if she didn't want to admit it to herself.

She walked down the hall, found a quiet spot and lifted the phone, dialing his home phone number. As soon as she answered her heart sank, "Kathy…hi. It's Olivia. I…Elliot…there's been a shooting and-" She heard the woman gasp, heard the pain in her voice, "He's…he's gonna be fine. He's strong. You know he is. But…but he needs you. We're at Mercy…"

Once she was able to calm her down enough, she went back to the waiting room and sat down. His wife was on her way. His wife, the woman he loved. The woman that belonged here beside him. The Mother of his children. His four young children who desperately needed their Father. He had to be alright. Somehow she sensed it the moment she walked in, and she had never felt more out of place. The Doctor came out at the same time, "Is anyone here for Detective Stabler?"

"I am." Kathy said quickly as she walked over to them, "I'm his wife."

The Doctor looked down at Olivia, "And you are…"

"Just…just his partner." She whispered and stood up beside Kathy, "Work…work partner."

"Is he okay? Tell me he's okay." Kathy said desperately, "Is he-"

"He's going to be fine." The Doctor said with a smile, "The bullet lodged in his muscle but we were able to extract it. No serious damage. He'll be quite sore for a while but he'll make a full recovery."

Kathy let out a little breath and reached for Olivia's hand, "Thank God…"

Olivia swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded, "Yeah…Thank God."

The Doctor flipped through some forms and then spoke without looking at them, "He asked for you."

Both women froze, unsure who he meant. "Me?"

Then the Doctor looked up again and shook his head and looked right at Olivia, "No. You. He wanted to make sure you were okay…was worried you got hurt too. We assured him you were okay though…that made him feel much better I think."

Kathy's hand fell from Olivia's and they both stepped apart subconsciously. "Oh."

He smiled at them both, "You two must make a great team. Always looking out for each other."

Olivia felt the tears burning in her eyes and she nodded, "Uh…yeah."

Kathy moved closer to him, "Can I please see my husband now?"

"Of course." He said pointing down the hall, "Room 311."

When he stepped away it was just the two of them, neither of them knew what to say. Olivia felt so small, and she hated it. She didn't want to be the other woman but she couldn't help her feelings. "Kathy-"

"You can go now." Kathy said quickly, "I've got it from here."

She felt like she'd be slapped in the face but understood that she couldn't fight this, "Right. Of course. I should go back to work and…and…"

"Yeah. Work. Where you belong." She whispered sternly, "I belong here. You belong there. Okay?"

Lifting her head, she nodded slowly. Her shirt was covered in blood. Elliot's blood. But her place wasn't here. She wasn't the wife. She was just the work partner. "Yeah. Okay. If you need anything-"

"I have people I can call." She said, pulling at her coat, "Goodnight."

And then she turned and walked away. Olivia stood there unable to move, unable to breathe. Even from down the hall, she could see Kathy walking into the room, walking up to his bed, taking his hand. Where she belonged. She glanced around the space, felt like a stranger, felt like she needed to run. John walked up behind her then, "You gonna go see him?"

She shook her head quickly and reached for her coat, "No. I'm gonna go back to the precinct. Fill out paperwork for us. He's fine."

John watched her carefully, "Liv…"

"He's fine." She whispered looking back down the hall and seeing the two of them huddled together by his bed. "Kathy's here. He'll be fine now. He doesn't need me."

She started to walk away and John didn't stop her, at least not physically. But what he said did, "He needs you too."

She froze, completely froze and felt like she was about to be swallowed up by some dark hole below the surface. But she had to deny it. Had to push those feelings aside because he had a wife and he would never be hers. Taking a deep breath, she kept walking without looking back at her friend. No. Elliot Stabler didn't need her. But she sure needed him…

"Olivia." Cragen's voice brought her back to the present again, "Come on. We're almost there."

She took one step and then another, all the while Cragen pushed her forward and she was grateful for it. She knew she wouldn't make it far without him. As soon as they stepped up to the desk, she felt the dread pulling at her chest. The fear of hearing the words, "I'm sorry. We did everything we could but…"

As a cop, it was something most of them had nightmares about. Each day she knew it was a possibility. But before, she had no one to care about her. Or so she told herself. But Fin cared. John cared. Cragen cared. And God…Elliot cared. Elliot cared and she cared and he was divorced and Kathy couldn't dictate who he was with anymore. And maybe Kathy had reason to hate her and maybe she understood it but she needed to see him. She needed to see Elliot. Needed to know that he was alive. Needed to tell him-

"Is anyone here for Detective Stabler?" A voice asked.

"Y-yes." She mumbled quickly, "Yes. Me. I-I am. We…we are."

Cragen squeezed her shoulder, "I'm his Captain. What's the prognosis?"

"Well he's still in surgery. But we weren't sure who to call? His forms list a Kathy Stabler?" Olivia froze, "But one of the nurses said she wasn't sure…"

Cragen cleared his throat, "They're divorced. But…I'll take care of it. For his children's sake."

The Doctor nodded once, "Okay…" He looked at Olivia, "And you are…?"

"The girlfriend. The one he was going on and on about while you dragged his ass in here." A voice said from behind them, everyone turned to see Dana, "Guess I couldn't keep my end of the bargain Benson. Sorry about that."

Olivia let out a nervous laugh, "You really hate him don't you?"

"No. He just happens to get in the damn way every time something big is happening." She said with a huff before turning back to the Doctor, "This is Olivia. You come get her when he wakes up or goes back to his room? I promised him she'd be the first thing he sees when he wakes up. You hear?"

The Doctor smiled and nodded slowly, "Sure."

When he walked away, Olivia's knees started to give out and both Cragen and Dana had to grab hold of her, "Alright there Benson. Let's take a seat. He's gonna be fine."

Olivia swallowed hard, "What the hell happened?"

Dana sighed and leaned back in her seat, "Well I got a crazy lead and I went after it. But no one was around so I went alone."

"Your first mistake," Cragen said glaring at her, "You said we were all going to do this together."

Dana rolled her eyes, "I don't do things with a team Don. Sorry to disappoint you." She looked at Olivia, "I was in pursuit and I never even saw Elliot. Next thing I know there's a shot ringing through the air and I thought it was me, but when I looked again it was Stabler falling. And I knew you were gonna kick my damn ass so I stayed with him until we got here."

Olivia ran a hand over her face, "Where was he shot?"

"The right side." Dana said pointing to her abdomen, "He bled pretty badly…" Olivia cringed, "But…but we got here quick. I'm sure it's gonna be fine. He wouldn't shut up about you."

Olivia's heart rattled in his chest, "I…"

"Why was he even there? It was early. He make it a habit of coming into work before the sun comes up?" She said angrily.

Olivia's face flushed, "I…I don't know."

Cragen looked at Olivia and then at Dana, "Star can you please go get us some coffee?"

Dana looked at him, confused by his question but then looked at Olivia and understood her presence wasn't wanted right now, "Ah…sure. Any special requests?"

"In this dump? Anything that's not toxic." Cragen said with a smirk, "Take your time."

Dana nodded slowly and looked at Olivia, "He really loves you…did you know that?" Olivia just stared at her blankly and Dana smiled, "Well…he's crazy about you Benson. Just thought you should know."

As soon as she walked away, the dam broke and Olivia fell forward, burying her face in her hands as the sobs wracked her body, "Oh God."

Cragen sighed and quickly wrapped his arm around her, "Breathe Olivia…breathe."

"I ended it. He came over and I ended it because she's never going to accept it. And I didn't want him to lose the kids. But he was upset. And God he must have gone to work early and-and-and this is all my fault." Her body shook as she cried.

Squeezing her tight he whispered, "This isn't your fault. We know that this is part of the job. It could happen at any time."

"But he never would have been there. He would have been with me. I should have just kept my mouth shut. Or I should have never let him take me to dinner that first night. Never let this happen. He's not mine. He can't be mine." She rocked back and forth crying harder and harder.

"Olivia…love is complicated. There are no rules here. You two didn't expect this to happen but it did. If Kathy wants to be mad and bitter that's on her. But she left him. And from what I heard yesterday from Casey…" His voice trailed away and she froze, "I mean…"

Olivia pulled away and looked at him, "From what you heard yesterday from Casey? What are you talking about?"

He sighed and looked at her, "I'm not sure it's my business…"

"Cap." She answered quickly, "If Kathy is trying to take his children away from him and you know-"

"She's been in a relationship." He whispered quickly, Olivia looked confused, "For over a year…"

Olivia's mouth hung open, "Over a year? But…they…they haven't…"

Cragen nodded, "I know. But Casey was worried about you and did a little digging of her own. She'd heard some rumors and she went to see if they were true. Kathy's been seeing a lawyer from the Queens DA since well before her and Elliot separated."

"I…" She stood up slowly, "She was…and she…she wanted me to leave him. But she was with someone this whole freaking time? How…how could she-"

Standing up he frowned, "I'm not sure Elliot even knows. But I am sure his lawyer is about to find out and they'll use it. She has no reason to take the kids from him, Olivia. You and I both know that. I understand why she's hurt that it's you…but if you ask me she has no leg to stand on here. So don't pull away from him. He really does need you…" He reached out and squeezed her arm, "And you need him."

"Cap…" Her hands were shaking, "I was going to walk away from him forever…so that…so that…"

"I know." He smiled sadly, "But I think that proves how much he means to you. Don't you think? You were willing to sacrifice your own happiness so he would have his children."

She looked up at him quickly, "What if he doesn't forgive me?"

Cragen shook his head, "There's nothing to forgive Olivia…he knows you. He knows why you did this. And I'd be willing to bet that he wasn't going to give up as easily as you think he was."

And then she thought of the words he had said before he left her apartment.

Taking a deep breath, he turned to look at her again but she wouldn't look at him, "I want you to know something." He watched her stand up a little straighter, watched her hold her breath and he spoke again, "I'm not going to find someone else. I'm not going to be happy with someone else. I'm not going to love someone else. It will always be you and I."

She pressed her hand to her chest and cried softly, "Elliot…"

Leaning towards her, he kissed her forehead, "It will always be you and I." Looking down at her he whispered, "So when you realize that…you know where to find me."

"Ms. Benson?" A voice called out to her, "He's in his room now. Still asleep…but if you'd like to see him you can."

Olivia swallowed hard, looked at Cragen, "I-"

He squeezed her arm just as Dana walked up towards them with the two coffees, "Go Liv. He needs you. You. Not anyone else. You."

She moved forward slowly and then whispered, "His kids…"

"I'll take care of everything else." He assured her, "You just go take care of him."

"And yourself." Dana added, they both turned to look at the woman and she shrugged, "Hey…I may not understand the two of you but I respect it."

Olivia's face flushed and she smiled, "Th-thanks." She turned to walk away again then paused, "But do me a favor?" Dana looked at her expectantly, "Stay far, far away from my boyfriend from now on?"

Dana laughed nervously, "Sure."

Looking back at Cragen, he gave her a reassuring smile and a quick nod of his head before she turned and walked down the hall with the Doctor, desperate to see Elliot. Desperate to make this right and to fight for him. Desperate to fight for them.

"He's still pretty out of it." The Doctor said by the door, "But he'll know you're there if you're talking to him and it will probably help him wake up sooner if you do."

Olivia nodded slowly, looking at him through the glass of the window, remembering how she had watched from afar when Kathy was the one beside him. "Is he in pain?"

"He's on a lot of meds at the moment. If he needs more, just press the red button and a nurse will come in." He smiled and squeezed her hand, "I think you being beside him will be what's best for him."

Olivia looked at him curiously, "Why?"

"Because I've never seen a man talk so much while under anesthesia. You must really be something Ms. Benson." He squeezed her hand again, "I'll be out here if you need anything."

Her cheeks flushed at his words and then she slowly walked into the room. She hated hospitals. Always had. You'd think in her line of work she'd be used to them by now. But the smell, the sounds, they all overwhelmed her. Made her think of being a little girl when her Mother would drink too much, pass out somewhere and have to be taken in. Or the handful of times her Mother had gone so far that she hurt her and she'd needed stitches. Looking at him now, she saw a shell of the man she knew. He looked pale. Her heart rattled in her chest as she moved closer to him, focusing on the beeping of the machine signaling that he was indeed very much alive. That he was still here with her.

Standing beside the bed, she stared down at him, looking for the rise and fall of his chest. Since this all started, the most comforting feeling and sound was that of his heartbeat. She'd never thought she'd be the type of woman who liked to fall asleep beside her lover, lay her head on his chest, feel him wrap his arms around her, fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat. But Elliot made her feel and do a lot of things she never thought she'd do. He made her want for more. Made her believe it was all within her grasp.

She'd let him go for the sake of his relationship with his children, for him. And she'd do it again if it came down to it. But God she didn't want to. She wanted to stay here. She wanted to hold his hand, be the one he turned to on his dark days. Share his dreams, his hopes, explore the world with. She wanted to be the one he held close, the one he loved, the one he believed in. She wanted to be the one that made him happy.

She thought back to their conversation last night…

"Olivia…" He looked over at her and shook his head, "She can't just take my kids away from me because she doesn't like my girlfriend."

"But she can try." She said quickly, "And she can make your life hell. Your kids lives hell and that isn't fair. That's not what I want."

"Not what you want." He nodded his head, "What do you want Olivia?"

What did she want? What did Olivia Benson want?

Well the answer was simple of course.

She wanted him.

Her knees buckled and she fell forward, he didn't move though and the tears came. She knelt on the ground beside him and instantly reached for his hand, her own shaking as she pulled it to her chest, "You asked me what I want. I want you El…I want you. All of you. A life with you. I just…I don't want to be the reason you lose your children."

She was staring hard at his hand, so hard she didn't realize his eyes were open but he stayed quiet. "I wasn't supposed to want you. This wasn't supposed to be my life. Our life. I accepted that you were married. I accepted that you had a family. Or I tried too but…I'm sorry. I can't…I don't want…I didn't mean the things I said I just want you to be happy. I need you to be happy."

"You make me happy." His voice was low, raspy and tired, but she heard him. And when she looked up at him in shock he smiled sheepishly, "So you figured out I was right? It will always be you and I?"

Pulling his hand to her chest, she squeezed and whispered, "You're okay."

He grimaced slightly as he tried to move to get a better look at her, "Just peachy...thought you told Star to leave me the hell alone."

She laughed through her tears and kissed his palm, "Turns out she is more stubborn than even I am. Can't follow rules to save her own damn life let alone yours."

He swallowed the lump in his throat as he watched her, "Olivia…"

"Your children need their Father…" She whispered in a cracked voice, "But I need you too."

He tugged gently on her hand, "Come here…"

Pulling herself up off the ground, she watched as he scooted across the bed, "El…you shouldn't-"

"I need you." He whispered, holding her hand tighter, "I just need you, okay?"

Staring into his eyes, she saw them gloss over with tears and she knew how hard it was for him to admit that, "Okay."

"Come here." He whispered again, "Please just come here and sit with me."

Kicking off her boots, she climbed up carefully and curled up against his uninjured side, "I'm here El. I'm right here." She pressed a hand to his chest, focusing on the steady beat of his heart as he dropped a kiss to her forehead, "And so are you…"

His eyes started to drift shut as the medication took over again, "You're here…"

Leaning her head back, she kissed his cheek, "I'm here and I'm not going anywhere ever again. I promise."

Squeezing her hand tight in his he sighed and let sleep take over, content to know she was right beside him where she belonged. As for Olivia, she never took her eyes off of him. She was so lost in thought she didn't notice that someone was watching them from the window. Someone who used to be in this position…

Outside in the hallway, Kathy watched Olivia curled up around her ex-husband and a memory washed over her. A memory from that same day when he had been shot all those years ago. When she'd sent Olivia away. Only…even though she wasn't there physically. She was still with him. She would always be with him.

Staring at her husband, she watched him breathe and she wondered how many times she'd come to the hospital like this after a case gone wrong. The first few times she remembered the panic she felt. Now it felt like a chore. Now she was here for her children. But she felt the need to be here to keep being here but it wasn't love. She just didn't know what it was anymore.

But when he opened his eyes and said her name, she knew what it was, "Olivia."

Kathy cleared her throat, "She went home."

She heard the inhale, the disbelief, "What?"

"She went home. But I'm here." She stood up, leaned over him and kissed his cheek, "I'm here Elliot. I'm right here."

He looked at her once, forced a smile and nodded, "Okay."

"Close your eyes." She said sitting down on the edge of the bed beside him, "You're gonna be just fine."

And so he did. And they both knew who he was thinking of. Who he was wishing was beside him. And yet she stayed. And he stayed. And life moved on. At least for the time being.

Back in present time, she watched them so content together. So in sync. And she knew. It had never been her. Never would be her. Taking a deep breath, she stepped back, turned and began to walk down the hallway when she saw Cragen walking towards her, "Kathy."

She stopped short and nodded, "Thank you for calling."

He anxiously put his hands in his pockets and nodded, "Of course." He paused for a moment, "The kids?"

"I haven't told them yet. But I'll uh…I'll have Maureen bring them by tomorrow maybe when he's feeling better." She brushed her hair back from her face, "I should…"

She started to walk away and Cragen wanted to keep his mouth shut but he couldn't, "If you're happy with someone else…why can't you just let it be?" Kathy stopped, turned to look at him, shock written all over her face, "I understand why it hurts. Why it bothers you. But I can assure you nothing ever happened while you were still married. She never would have done that and neither would he. So let it go…If not for you then for your kids. They need their Father…and they'll only resent you if you keep them apart."

She tugged at her coat and looked directly at him, "I'm not quite sure that any of this is your business Don."

Cragen nodded slowly, "Maybe not. But as their superior…I know them. I know they are good people and they never meant for anyone to get hurt. But some things can't be helped…nothing was done intentionally. You can't help who you fall in love with. Who your soulmate is."

Kathy looked back down the hallway through the small window and saw Olivia carefully watching him sleep. Watching over him and she hated her. But why? She didn't love him. Hadn't loved him in a long time. So why? Taking a deep breath she looked back at Cragen, "Goodnight Captain Cragen."

And then she was gone.

Don sighed, not sure if anything he had said made any difference. But he was glad he had said it. That someone had said it. Turning to look towards Elliot's room he smiled. Maybe the world wouldn't understand them. Maybe they would have their opinions, questions and feelings. But the only thing that really mattered was that the two people in that room knew the truth and that they wanted to fight for each other. The rest…well the rest would come in time.

He thought of Marge then. And it hurt. It always hurt when he thought of her. He missed her. His own soulmate. He smiled watching them, turned slowly and walked back down the hallway and out of the hospital knowing that they were both exactly where they were supposed to be.

Three days later, Olivia helped Elliot into his apartment, his arm draped around her shoulders as they walked slowly. "You sure you're okay staying here?" He asked.

Olivia smiled and placed his bag down on the ground, "Of course I am. You should be in your space. It's best for your healing and I'm not going to let you be alone."

He sagged against the wall as he saw her shuffling around the apartment nervously. He knew she was right but he also thought maybe she was trying to avoid her own apartment since the last time they were there she had broken things off. They hadn't talked much about it, he'd been in and out of it, Doctors, nurses, his friends and children all visited and it left little time for them to really talk. The moment his four children came rushing into the room, Olivia had stepped to the side, still clearly unsure of her place and that had killed him. He wanted to reach for her, pull her beside him but he knew that now wasn't the time. The kids needed to know their Father was okay. Maureen and Kathleen gave him a knowing look and he just smiled, assuring them that things were fine. The twins asked questions, said that Kathy sent her best and he just nodded, pretending that everything was fine. At least for now.

"Are you hungry?" She asked slowly looking over at him, "John dropped off food earlier. I can set you up in your room and then heat something up?" She was still looking everywhere but at him, "You need to take another pill in about an hour so you should try and eat something. You know it will make you feel less sick."

He shifted his weight and sighed, "Liv…"

"I'm not totally sure what he brought but I can order take out or run to the store to get you something different." She opened the fridge, "No beer though because you can't mix that with your meds. But I think maybe-"

"Olivia." He said her name a little harsher than he meant to and she jumped, turning to look at him. He sighed softly and reached his hand out, "I just wanna lie down in my bed."

Nodding slowly, she walked towards him and immediately put his arm around her shoulders again, leading him towards his room, "We can do that."

They took a few steps before he added, "And I want you to lay down with me. And rest."

He heard her sigh as they walked up beside his bed, "I'm fine El."

"Like hell you are." He said with a strangled laugh, "You haven't slept in days. And before this all happened you hadn't either." She gave him a look and he glared right back, "I know you Benson. I know you."

Staring up at him, her eyes welled up with tears, "I didn't want to sleep in case you needed something…I want you to-to know that I was-was there if you needed-"

"I know." He smiled, leaned in and kissed her softly without looking away, "I know. But like I said…I just need you."

Sighing softly, she buried her face in his neck, "What if you had died?"

He held her to his uninjured side and whispered, "Don't."

"El…" He squeezed her tighter, "I just…"

"Sleep now. Talk later." He said shifting her towards the bed, "Some of your clothes are in the closet."

She pulled away just enough to look him in the eye, "You're the injured one and you are still taking care of me."

"I'll always take care of you." He whispered, touching her cheek, "That's what partners do."

"Partners…" She smiled as she said the word, "We're still partners?"

Leaning in, he kissed her again, "Always Liv. Always."

Kissing him back gently, she helped him up onto the bed and then moved around to change into something more comfortable. He was watching her and she knew it but she didn't shy away from him. She smiled looking at her own clothes and then his. Reaching for her favorite sweatshirt of his, she slipped it over her naked body and then walked back to the bed. He just smiled, held his arm out and she climbed up beside him once again, holding on and finally allowing herself to get some much needed rest.

A few hours later, Olivia woke up expecting to feel him beside her. But she frowned when she realized she was holding onto his pillow. Panic pulled at her chest, and she sat up, "Elliot-"

"Relax Benson." He placed a hand on her thigh and rubbed affectionately, "I can't get far right now."

She sighed and blinked in the dimly lit room. It was early evening now and he had the lights off as he lay beside her. She ran a hand through her hair, pulled the blankets up around her legs and turned to him, "How long was I out?"

"A while." He smiled and held out a plate of food for her, "You need it. Hungry?"

She looked down at the plate in his hands and frowned, "Why were you up?"

"The Doctor said I needed to walk around on my own too. I just went to the kitchen and back. I promise." She gave him a look and he laughed, "Fine I peed too. Is that okay Doctor Benson?"

She smiled and leaned back against the headboard, "Doctor Benson…that could be fun."

He smirked and placed the plate down between them, 'Trust me…the thought entered my mind a while ago. We can play Doctor anytime you want babe."

His hand settled on her knee again and she saw him watching her carefully. And she knew they still had to talk. Taking a shaky breath, she put her hand over his and whispered, "Elliot…I didn't want-"

"I know." He whispered, "I know. I know why you did it but it didn't mean it didn't fucking hurt like hell."

Threading her fingers through his she sighed, "Can you forgive me?"

"There is nothing to forgive. I meant that. I just…" He turned his head further to look at her, "I need you to hear me when I say I'm not letting her make me choose. I can have you and the kids. I also talked to my Lawyer when you were asleep…and he made it clear she has no standing in trying to keep them from me just because I'm seeing you."

She thought back to what Cragen had said, "Elliot…"

"And I know." He said with a nod, "He told me all about her boyfriend too."

Chewing on her bottom lip she frowned, "I'm so sorry…"

Looking at her he shrugged, "What are you sorry for? That she cheated on me?" He sighed and shook his head, 'Don't be. We fell out of love a long time ago, Olivia. I don't know what we were holding on for."

"The kids." She whispered and he froze, "You were holding on for Maureen, Kathleen, Dickie and Lizzie."

"Yeah. You're right. But…they're older now and they know that what we were doing wasn't working. It wasn't healthy for anyone. Not for Kathy and I and not for them. You can't force a marriage just because you have children." He said. "My parents fought like hell in front of me and my siblings and it was the worst. I don't want that for them…it's why I agreed to the divorce in the end."

"But if you're with me…she's going to still be angry. She's still going to fight. You know that." She whispered, "And I don't want that for them or you."

They were quiet for a moment before he whispered, "Why didn't you say anything about seeing the text?"

She sighed and moved closer to him, "Probably for the same reason you did? Because we both hoped it would go away? Or maybe we both felt some level of guilt?" He turned to look at her and she shrugged, "We may never have cheated but I won't pretend I didn't want you long before that first night…"

"I know." He whispered, "I know. But…we didn't plan on any of this. We didn't intentionally go into this to hurt anyone. I'm sorry that it did hurt her but we're divorced now and what's the point of this?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. Honestly…it's probably because it's me. If you had picked anyone else-"

"I don't want anyone else." He said gripping her hand, "Olivia, I don't want anyone else. I want you."

She smiled softly and whispered, "And I don't want anyone but you." Licking her lips she whispered, "So…what do we do now?"

Sitting up, he grimaced and groaned, "Damn…"

"Hey…" She shifted on the bed, adjusting the pillows behind him, "El…take it easy."

"I need to look at you when I say this." He said suddenly out of breath, "I need-"

"Okay. Okay." She shifted and reached for his hand, "El…I'm here. I'm right here."

He nodded slowly and pulled her even closer, "I'm going to fight like hell for you and my children. Okay? I really don't care what anyone else thinks. I've said that and I'll keep saying it. I love you for sacrificing your own happiness for the sake of my children but Liv…it doesn't have to be like this."

"I just…I don't want them to be afraid or to be worried about what's going to happen. I don't want them to think they can't spend time with you or that I'm taking you away from them. El your kids…" Her voice cracked as she spoke and she held his hands to her chest, "I adore them. I'd do anything for them."

"You proved that." He whispered, "Maureen and Kathleen are okay with this…and I think the twins have picked up on it by now. And we're gonna make it work. I promise you we'll make it work. Just…I need to know that you're here."

"I want to be here." She whispered, "But I'm afraid…I'm so afraid that you're saying all this now but that she's going to keep pushing it and eventually you'll just walk away and-"

"Olivia." He huffed and tugged on her hand, "I'm not going anywhere. So just tell me what you need me to do to prove that I'm here…that she can't dictate what's going on."

She looked down at their hands and whispered, "I need you to be honest with me. I need you to not hide what she says…I need to know what's going on." He was staring at her and she frowned, "I know you think you're protecting me and I appreciate that…but if we're going to do this we have to do it together."

"Together." He pulled her all the way up to him, "I like the sound of that."

She smiled and reached out to touch his cheek softly, "You know that it killed me…that I-"

"I know." He whispered leaning in to kiss her, "And you're right…I need to be honest with you. About everything."

She swallowed hard, "Has she been texting you?"

He sighed, "She sent a text saying that she was glad I was okay but…that was it. Haven't heard from her. But Maureen said she's…not happy still."

Frowning she leaned against the pillows, "So not even a near death experience could soften her huh?"

He smiled sadly, "Guess not…" He watched her carefully and then whispered, "And if we're on this honest streak…" She turned to look at him nervously and he quickly said, "I should probably tell you that the kids are on their way over to have dinner with us."

"What?" She jumped up quickly and he shifted on the bed, grimacing, "Oh! Crap. I'm sorry." She sighed and then pulled away, "Elliot…"

"When you were asleep Maureen and Kathleen called and asked if they could come by." He said quickly, "And they said they were picking up the twins. I know you saw them at the hospital and I know maybe you're worried-"

"I just…I don't want to give her more of a reason to hate me." She growled, "El…I should go-"

She went to climb off the bed but he held her hand tight in his, "No. You should stay right here."

"Elliot…" He shook his head and tears welled in her eyes, "I can't…I can't."

"Yeah. You can." He whispered, "Because I'm asking you to stay and to be here. With me."

The look in his eyes told her he needed her and she knew she couldn't deny him. She wanted to be here. Wanted to start this life with him and that life included his children. His four children she loved and would do anything for. It wasn't them she was afraid of. "I…"

Shifting slowly on the bed he whispered, "I'm asking you to stay…and to fight with me."

Her heart was racing in her chest but before she could stop herself she whispered, "Okay."

He let out a shaky breath and leaned back, "Okay?" She nodded slowly and he laughed, "She said okay…she's staying."

Leaning forward, she kissed him softly, "I'm staying."

"You're staying. Thank God you're staying." He held her face firmly in his hands, "Liv…"

Kissing him again she whispered, "We can do this."

A knock on the door startled them both and he nodded, "We can do this…"

Carefully she pulled away and then stood up, "I need to get dressed…"

"Yeah." He squeezed her leg and let her pull him up, "That's a good start."

Clearing her throat she looked at him again, "We can do this?"

He smiled and kissed her again, "I promise we can do this."

Ten minutes later, Olivia came out of the bedroom and was waiting for it to be awkward, waiting for the stares. Instead, the kids jumped up, walked over to her and hugged her tightly one at a time. She looked at Elliot who was sprawled out on the couch and the smile on his face said it all. He had his kids and his girlfriend all in one place.

"Come sit." Lizzie said, tugging her hand, "Thanks for taking such good care of Dad."

Olivia swallowed hard and sat down beside him where Lizzie placed him. She looked between all the kids and then felt him place his hand on her back, "Oh…of course."

"Please, Olivia's had his back for years." Kathleen said, rolling her eyes, "She's half the reason he's still alive I'd bet. Lord knows she's kept him from doing a lot of stupid things in the past."

Everyone laughed and Elliot smiled, "Yeah she was my best partner that's for sure."

A silence fell over the room for a moment, and nervousness spiked in Olivia's heart, "Does anyone want-"

"Liv." She had expected it to be Elliot who said it but it was Maureen and she turned to look at her, "It's okay."

Glancing back at Elliot he knew she didn't know what to say so he shifted slightly, and took her hand, "You guys sure it's okay?"

Maureen looked between her siblings and Olivia spoke before any of them could, "I just…if it's too much-"

"Here we go." Kathleen said quickly leaning back in her chair, "She's gonna give the she'll walk away speech."

Elliot chuckled behind them, "Girls…"

"Am I wrong?" Kathleen seed curiously, "I mean this is Olivia we're talking about. She's going to say that we come first and that if Mom can't get over it she'll walk away."

"Would you really do that?" Dickie asked softly without thinking.

Everyone froze again and Elliot sighed, "Dickie…"

Olivia put her hand over Elliot's arm and then nodded, "Yeah. I would Dickie. If it meant that you guys were happier…yes."

"But that wouldn't make Dad happy." Dickie said, shaking his head, "He'd be unhappy so what's the point of that?"

Elliot looked right at Olivia and smiled softly, "Yeah. What's the point of that?"

Olivia smiled nervously and shrugged, "I just want you guys to have your Dad…and I want him to have the four of you. I'm sure it's weird…and I know you probably…" Fidgeting slightly she sighed, "I'm not your Mom and I will never try to take her place. But if you're okay with it…then I'm here. But if you need me to give you all some space…and if your Mom can't accept it then yes. I'd walk away."

Dickie sighed and looked at Lizzie, "You owe me ten bucks."

Olivia's mouth hung open and everyone laughed, "What?"

Lizzie sighed and reached into her pocket, "We made a bet that you'd offer to leave if we were uncomfortable. Dickie said the first hour. I gave you at least two before you did it."

Everyone laughed harder and Olivia sighed, "You guys I'm being serious here…"

"We know." Kathleen said with a smile, "And yeah…Mom's pissed right now. Why…well I don't know seeing as she's with-"

The room went silent again and everyone looked away, "How long have you guys known?"

Maureen sighed, "A few months…but I was questioning it for a while. But I was afraid to bring it up. Make things worse between you and Mom. I just thought once the divorce was final she'd tell you and then it wouldn't matter anyway."

Elliot scrubbed a hand over his face and sighed, "Look…I am never going to say a bad word about your Mother in front of you. She is your Mother. She's the reason you're here. Even though we are divorced and right now we're…not getting along…she will always be your Mother. So please don't ever think that I would ask you to choose. Because I won't." The kids all looked nervous and he whispered, "But did she…"

"She asked us to choose." Lizzie whispered, "This afternoon before Maureen came to pick us up."

Olivia stiffened, "Elliot…"

Elliot shook his head, "I'll handle it. Okay?"

Lizzie's lip trembled, "We don't want to choose."

"I know." He reached for her hand, "And you don't have too. I promise. I'll fix it, okay?"

"Don't you mean you two will fix it together?" Kathleen asked with a smile, "You're a team aren't you?"

Elliot looked at his daughter and then at Olivia, "Yeah…we're a team. Right Liv?"

Olivia smiled and nodded her head, "Right."

"Alright. Now that we have that settled…back to the food business. Can we order pizza?" Dickie said quickly.

"Dickie!" The three girls yelled.

Elliot laughed and looked at Olivia, 'Welcome to my crazy family Liv…"

She smiled and squeezed his arm, "Nowhere else I'd rather be…" Turning to Dickie she smiled, "Want to check the menus with me?"

Dickie nodded, "Absolutely."

Olivia smiled and stood up, walking towards the kitchen with Elliot's son. The girls watched them go and then looked back at Eliot. He laughed and leaned his head back, "Okay…just say it."

"It's about damn time." Kathleen said with a laugh, "Took you two long enough."

Elliot sighed and scratched the stubble on his jaw, "Girls…it was complicated. You know that I never would have-"

"We know. And Mom knows that too. She's just…" Maureen sighed and rolled her eyes, "Honestly I don't know what the issue is right now but she needs to get over it. Especially since…"

"Maureen we don't know…" Kathleen whispered quickly, shooting her a look.

"Don't know what?" Lizzie asked looking between her sisters but no one said anything, "Don't know what?"

"I…" Maureen's face flushed, "Nothing…I just meant we don't know how serious it is between Mom and this guy. But it must be kinda serious since they have been together for awhile. And if that's the case she needs to just move on." Clearing her throat she looked towards the kitchen, "Lizzie let's go help Olivia before Dickie makes her order everything on the menu."

Lizzie could tell when she wasn't going to get an answer so she nodded slowly, "Uh…okay."

And suddenly it was just Elliot and Kathleen, "Kathleen…"

She smiled and shook her head, "Not today, okay Dad? Not today." She leaned in and kissed his cheek, "Let's just enjoy today."

Elliot looked back at Olivia laughing with his other three children and for once he decided not to push it. Because he just wanted to be happy. Whatever it was could wait. At least for tonight.

After the kids had left, Elliot had gone back to his bedroom to lie down. He was exhausted but happy. Damn happy. He heard Olivia out in the kitchen cleaning up, humming to herself as she went and it all felt so…right.

"Liv?" He called, suddenly needing her beside him.

He heard her close a cabinet in the kitchen and then poke her head into his room, "Yeah? You need something? More water or-"

"Just need you. Come lie down." He said, patting the space beside him.

She laughed and leaned against the doorframe, "I was going to clean and-"

"It can wait." She still didn't move and he pouted, "I almost died a few days ago…what's a guy gotta do to get a little love from his girlfriend?"

Rolling her eyes she walked into the room and crawled up onto the bed beside him, "My boyfriend is so needy."

He chuckled and pulled her down to his side, "Damn right I am."

Leaning forward, she pressed a kiss to his neck, "You have really great kids Elliot. And I feel lucky that I get to be a part of their life."

His heart swelled with pride and happiness, "They love you Liv…just like I do."

Her heart jumped in her chest and she felt it, the words right on the tip of her tongue, "Elliot…"

He squeezed her closer and whispered, "It's alright…I feel it. You being here…showing up…being willing to fight with me proves it. I don't need the words."

Looking up at him she whispered, "Are you happy?"

Carefully he rolled to his side and she adjusted beside him to make sure he wasn't in pain, "How could I not be? I'm here with you."

She smiled and touched his cheek, "El…"

Leaning forward he kissed her, "Tonight I had you and my children all in one place…I'm happy Liv. Really fucking happy."

Her fingers traced the lines on his face, "Elliot…"

"They're keeping something from me. I can feel it." He whispered and he felt her tense, "But I also know that whatever it is…I can handle it if you're here. If they support this and I have you…it'll be okay."

She frowned at his words, "What do you think it is?"

"I don't know." He whispered, "But I'll figure it out. But not tonight…" He shifted onto his back again, "Tonight I just want to be here with you…and know that you're not leaving again."

Dropping a kiss to his shoulder she whispered, "I'm here El. Right where I belong."

Holding her close he whispered, "Right where you belong…"

They would figure out the rest tomorrow…and all the days that followed. But tonight…tonight this was enough.