Four weeks.

An entire month without her and Elliot felt like the longer she was gone, the harder it was. He thought it was supposed to get easier, but each day without her felt a little longer, a little more painful and that much more lonely. On this morning, he got up early, did a quick workout and then hopped in the car to drive to his destination.

Four weeks.

Four weeks ago she had made him feel things he didn't know were possible. Made him want to follow dreams he'd pushed aside. Made him think he could have it all. Well one of his dreams was to be with her. But if that dream wouldn't be possible, maybe he could at least follow the other one.

Parking his car, he climbed out, walked across the tarmac and smiled at his old friend in the cold morning light, "Hey Ryan."

Ryan pushed off the small aircraft and smiled, "Glad we're finally doing this."

Elliot shook his hand and looked at the small plane behind him, "I can't believe we're actually doing it to be honest."

Ryan nodded, "It's about time…"

"Hmmm…" He kicked at the ground and looked around, "Maybe."

Clearing his throat Ryan asked, "How you holding up? Been meaning to call but I wasn't sure…"

Elliot shook his head, "No. No, I'm good. Focussing on the kids…work. This will be a good distraction too."

"Kathy really isn't letting up, huh?" He asked, Elliot shook his head, "What the hell is her end goal here? She's just hurting the kids in the end."

"She's just…" He sighed and looked away, "She's mad…and I get it. I do. Whether I cheated or not, she was always worried about Olivia. But at this point I don't see why she won't just let me see them. She's just being stubborn. It's not like Olivia is ever coming ba-" His voice cracked but he shook his head and smiled, "Anyway…"

"Never say never Stabler…" Ryan whispered, Elliot looked back at him, "That night I met her, I saw a woman in love. Maybe a woman afraid to admit it…but I don't think she's gone for good."

Elliot's heart flipped in his chest as the sun started to rise, "Can we go up?"

Ryan smiled sadly and nodded, "Yeah. Go around the other side and climb in."

Elliot followed, climbed up into the plane and waited. He knew today he was just going up in the air with him, their formal lessons wouldn't start for a while. But something about today made him feel closer to Olivia. Like being here, following his dreams would somehow bring her back to him.

As soon as they were in the air, Elliot's worries began to melt away. As if being this high up made the rest of the storm in his life dissipate. He could hear Ryan talking to him, but his mind wandered to that last night. The fear in her eyes when the helicopter had landed, how she had taken his hand, trusted him with her life and her fears. How he had touched her, loved her all the way up here where no one else existed.

And then he thought of their conversation on the roof. When he had told her about his dreams to be a pilot. How she had told him they weren't silly like Kathy once had. How the softness in her voice, the sincerity told him she would support any decision he ever made good or bad because she believed in him. And then she'd shared her own dream. A dream of a family, a home, a place to call her own.

Leaning down, he held his lips just above hers, "What are your dreams Liv?" He whispered again.

She smiled and breathed him in, "My dream…was to find a place to call home. To have a family." He froze, locked eyes with hers and she smiled, "And I have a funny feeling I found both of those things in you…" Pulling him even closer she whispered, "So since I've got my dream…let's work on going after yours."

She'd said her dream was him. Yet she was gone. Maybe to save him, to save his children but she was still gone. She had sacrificed her own dream, her own happiness for him, for his family. He should be less surprised than he was. She was the most selfless person he had ever yet. Didn't mean it made it hurt any less. But way up here, above the city he'd fallen in love with her in, he thought, when did she get to have her dream?

Here he was chasing after his. But that dream also included her. And he wondered…was she truly gone forever?

"You still with me, Stabler?" Ryan's voice pulled him back into the present, "You've got that daydream look in your eyes."

Elliot turned to him, adjusted the headset on his head and frowned, "Sorry. Yeah. I'm here. Was just…thinking."

Ryan nodded, "Thinking can be dangerous. Unless…the thoughts remind you of what you're fighting for."

Elliot couldn't help but chuckle, "You should have been a therapist or a motivational speaker. Not a pilot."

"Hey, maybe in another life. But in this one, I like it up here." Elliot looked out the windows, "And I think you do too. Am I right?"

Elliot nodded, taking a breath, remembering what he had felt as a young boy wanting to pursue this, "Yeah. You're right."

"Follow one dream at a time my friend. Maybe the rest will fall into place." Elliot looked back at him and he shrugged, "Therapy in the sky. Could be a new shtick. What do you think?"

Elliot rolled his eyes but laughed, "Follow your dreams Ryan. Whatever you want."

He could hear Ryan laughing as he steered the small plane and the only thought he had was, maybe, just maybe, things weren't exactly as they seemed…

Hope was a good thing to hold onto. Wasn't it?

Four weeks.

Four whole weeks. A month in this place and the longer she was away, the more irritated she became. Sitting on her lumpy bed, she shivered in the cold morning air. Pulling her legs up against her chest, she wrapped his Jersey around her tighter and her fingers trailed along the gold pendant on her neck. She remembered what he had said when he put the necklace on her.

Reaching out, he took the box and slowly took the delicate necklace out of it, "Now that we aren't partners anymore…I wanted you to have a little piece of me with you always. So it will be like I'm there…no matter what. Like I have your back even when we're apart."

And for a moment she felt better. Felt like he was right beside her, telling her that everything was going to be alright. One way or another, it had to be okay. She had been awake for the last two hours after noticing that Adeline had disappeared from their room. Worry prickled in the back of her mind and she wouldn't close her eyes again until she knew she was okay. The door creaked open, and a rush of cold air burst in as someone stumbled into the room.

Shifting on the bed, Olivia peered through the darkness, "Addy?"

The person stopped, their feet sliding across the wood floor. "Persephone?"

Olivia slowly climbed off the bed and tried to move towards her, "Are you okay?"

She heard a sniffle, and then the girl moved into the only light streaming through the window. Olivia's breath caught in her throat when she saw her, bruised, battered and completely broken, "No…"

Olivia bit down hard on her lip, wishing she could run from this place and find Colt immediately. But it would only cause them more danger, "Come here…"

Addy crawled into the bed beside Olivia, and started to cry, finally letting the walls around her crumble, "It wasn't supposed to be like this…"

Olivia pulled the blankets up around her, rocking her gently, "Shh…I know. I know."

Addy clung to the oversized jersey, "Why do you always wear this?"

Olivia swallowed the lump in her throat and adjusted herself on the bed, "It…just makes me feel close to someone I miss."

They lay there quietly for a moment before she spoke, "Elliot?"

Her heart ached at the sound of his name and her own tears threatened to fall, "Addy…"

Shifting slowly on the bed, Addy looked up at her, "You love him."

Olivia looked down at her, smoothed back her damp hair and nodded, "I do."

Addy frowned and rolled onto her back, wincing in pain as she did, "Well then what the hell are you doing here? Most people that end up here are searching for something. But if you already had that something…how did you end up here?"

Olivia's heart raced and she shook her head, "It's complicated."

They lay there for a moment, both lost in their own thoughts before Addy's eyes closed and she whispered, "Tell me about him."

The younger girl was relaxing, she felt safe beside Olivia, or Persephone as she thought of her as. She felt safe the way that Olivia felt safe with Elliot. If she closed her eyes, she could tell herself he was here with them. Her fingers traced the pendant again and she sighed, "I've known him for 8 years. He knows me better than anyone else in the world…even better than I know myself sometimes."

Addy yawned and curled up closer to her, "That's got to be terrifying."

Olivia laughed and wiped at her tears, "Like you wouldn't believe. And yet…sometimes it's also really comforting."

Addy's voice was low but she still could hear her, "What's he like?"

"Well…" Her fingers continued to rub against the gold and she sighed, "He's smart. And kind…incredibly handsome and protective." She laughed to herself, "But sometimes he's also a real stubborn son of a bitch."

Addy laughed, "I'm sure you make a great team."

Her voice got caught in her throat as she croaked out, "The best team…"

Tilting her head to look at the woman in front of her, Addy whispered, "So then how the hell do we get out of here so you can go back to him?"

Olivia smiled sadly and whispered, "I'm working on it."

Her lip trembled before she asked, "Will you take me with you?"

Olivia sighed and nodded, pulling her close again, wanting her to feel safe, "I'm not going anywhere without you Addy. I promise. Close your eyes. We're going to be just fine."

Addy yawned again and began to drift off to sleep, "I trust you Persephone…"

Trust.

To trust someone so completely was a gift. She trusted Elliot with her life. Her mind. Her body. Her soul. And he in turn had trusted her when she said she wasn't leaving. Had he gotten the letter? Did he know how she truly felt? Did he still trust her now after a month away? Would he still be waiting for her when she got back?

God she hoped so.

Otherwise…she didn't know how the hell she was going to survive.

Five weeks.

Five hole weeks without even knowing if she was safe. He'd gotten into it with Huang and Cragen earlier trying to just get any information about her. He just wanted to know that she was okay, that she was in a place where someone was looking out for her. Today was Friday night and he had plans with the kids. He was running late and he knew he had to pull it together before going to pick them up. He hated showing them that he was hurting. The custody trial was next week and they were all going through enough. He had to make things as normal as possible for them.

Five weeks though was a long time to be without her…

Moving around his room quickly, he knocked into his bedside table and a book fell to the floor. "Shit."

Bending down, he reached for the book and realized it was a book he had been reading while he was recovering. Something was sticking out of the top of it and he reached for it curiously. As soon as he saw what it was, his heart stopped. A strip of pictures, from one of those photo booths at the mall. She'd dragged him into it after they had caught a movie and he was hesitant at first until she pouted and all bets were off.

He remembered it like it was yesterday…

"I'm sure it was a great movie. I mean people gave it a round of applause." Elliot said as they walked out of the movie theater and towards the mall.

Olivia laughed, "Wouldn't know. Someone wouldn't keep their hands to themselves so I missed 95% of it playing tonsil hockey."

"Hey…I didn't hear you complaining." He chuckled as he pulled her closer, "Zero complaints at all in fact."

Rolling her eyes, she tugged him towards the food court, "Cocky son of bitch."

"That's me." He teased as he let her lead him around.

Olivia saw how busy it was and sighed, "We may be waiting awhile."

Elliot shrugged, "We're not in a rush, are we?"

Glancing around she spotted a photobooth in the corner, "Nope."

He followed her gaze and felt her moving backwards, "Olivia…no."

"No. He says no like he's actually getting out of this." She chuckled and shook her head, "Poor thing…"

He groaned and was suddenly standing right in front of the booth, "Liv…I'm not big on pictures."

"Yes. I know." She said with a smirk, "But now that you're my boyfriend…you're gonna have to get over that. I demand pictures."

"Demand huh?" He chuckled, "And if I don't give in to said demands? What happens then?"

Tapping a finger to her lips she pretended to be thinking, "Well…it would result in a lot less naked Olivia time in your bed…so you decide how you want to proceed with this. I'll be fine either way. I can take pictures by myself."

Climbing into the booth he huffed, "Damn you're good."

She poked her head out of the curtains and smiled, "I know. Now get in here."

He stared down at her and frowned, "There is barely room in here for both of us."

Rolling her eyes, she stood up and shoved him down onto the seat, "Sure there is."

He chuckled and pulled her down onto his lap, "Oh…so maybe this isn't so bad."

Wiggling her hips a bit she smirked, "Nope. It's not."

Taking a breath, he looked forward, "Okay so what now?"

"We get four pictures." She told him, "We can do whatever we want, but they are quick so you have to think on your feet."

He watched her lean forward and start to press the buttons on the machine, "Okay, when do we start?"

"Now." She said quickly, leaning back and smiling, catching him off guard as it flashed.

"Damn it!" He laughed and tickled her sides, "Not fair!"

She threw her head back and laughed loudly with him smiling as the second picture snapped, "All's fair in love and war."

"Love huh?" He teased and kissed her cheek as the third picture snapped.

Turning her face all the way towards him, she held his face firmly in her hands and just smiled, pressing her lips to his. And the fourth picture showed them locked in their embrace. But the kissing did not stop even after the picture was done. It wasn't until someone else knocked on the booth waiting for their turn. Olivia pulled away and smiled, "Whoops."

Elliot's face flushed and he tried to adjust himself as she climbed up off his lap "Liv…"

She laughed and pulled his hand as they emerged, "Sorry about that."

The couple behind them laughed, "No problem."

Olivia scooped the pictures up and walked ahead before Elliot followed her, "Let me see."

She smiled as his hand wrapped around her shoulder, "I love them."

"There you go throwing that L word around again." He said nuzzling her close, he felt her tense slightly and he kissed her cheek before looking at them, "But I love them too."

Smiling, she held out the second set of pictures, "Then I guess it's a good thing they give you two copies."

Elliot took the strip and smiled, "Maybe pictures with my girlfriend aren't so bad."

"Glad you think so." She said kissing his cheek, "Now, your girlfriend is starving from all that making out. Buy me some pizza?"

Wrapping his arm around her again he smiled, "Anything for you Liv. Anything for you."

She winked and slipped her own strip of pictures into her bag not wanting to lose it. He glanced down at the photos again as they walked together and he knew he'd do just about anything to keep her smiling like she was in those pictures.

Sighing, he walked to his dresser and stuck the photos on the edge of his mirror. As hard as it was to look at them, it was harder to ignore the fact that they had been real, that it had all happened. He stared at the photos as he finished getting ready, telling himself it wasn't all in his head and that somewhere down the line, he had to believe she'd come back to him. It would always be the two of them. Always.

By the time he picked up the kids, he was feeling slightly better and was glad when Kathy stayed in the house. Now he sat at the arcade watching the twins and Kathleen play a game when Maureen walked up behind him with a tray of pizza.

"Here we go." She smiled and sat down beside him, "Still hot."

Elliot smiled and shifted the tray into the middle of the table, "Smells great."

Maureen looked at her siblings and laughed when Dickie pushed his twin sister out of the way, "Some things never change…"

Elliot looked up and laughed, "No. They don't."

Maureen picked at her slice of pizza and watched her Father carefully, "Mom found out the gender today…" She saw him tense and she frowned, "It's a boy."

Elliot cleared his throat and reached for his soda before he took a sip, "Good for her and Michael."

Maureen sighed and placed her pizza down, "Dad…"

Turning towards her he shook his head, "Your Mom, despite what is going on with us, is a great Mother. She'll be great with this kid too."

"I know." Maureen whispered, "She's…cracking a bit I think. Stressed about the custody hearing." He cringed and she frowned, "I told her I was going."

Elliot looked up at her, "Mo…no. You don't have a reason to be there. You're over 18 so she can't keep you from me. I don't want you to go and get in the middle of this. I'm sorry any of you have to handle this anyway."

Maureen shook her head, "I'm going so she knows I love both my parents. But that I also support you getting as much time with them as possible. We need you Dad. I understand why she's hurt…but you both made mistakes. She needs to get over this if she expects us all to still be a family and wants us to accept Michael."

Elliot was quiet for a moment, contemplating his response, "You know I loved your Mother, right? That part of me still does. She gave me four incredible children and many good years. We just…"

"Grew apart." Maureen whispered and he nodded, "It's okay. I mean sure it hurts. But…I know in the end it's best for everyone. Mom is happy with Michael. She's excited about this new baby." Elliot looked down and she leaned in, "And you deserve to feel that too."

Elliot smiled sadly and looked back up at her, "Not sure if I have that shot kid…but it's okay. I'm gonna focus on the four of you and nothing else. That's all that matters." Standing up, he went to move towards the rest of the kids, "I should-"

"I don't believe she's gone for good." Maureen said quickly and he froze, "I really don't."

Elliot took a deep breath and looked down at his oldest daughter, "Mo…"

"Olivia has been a big part of all of our lives. Whether I understood it back then or not…I'm old enough to understand that sometimes you can't control these things. Love is love. You didn't ask for this to happen but it did." She answered.

Elliot moved towards her and smiled, "You're a good kid, I ever tell you that?"

She smiled up at him, "A few thousand times in my life, yeah."

Leaning down, he dropped a kiss to the top of her head and smiled, "Thanks for being you Mo."

When he walked away she called after him, "I really don't believe she's gone…I meant that."

He took a deep breath, and kept walking not wanting to turn around and show her how much those words meant to him. He wanted to believe it was true too. But if it wasn't, he had to be okay with what he did have.

That Sunday when he dropped off the twins and Kathleen, Kathy was standing on the porch. All three of them gave him a nervous look and he gave them what he hoped was a reassuring smile before he said his goodbyes. Walking towards the porch again he watched the kids go inside after greeting their Mother.

"Well they didn't show up with pitchforks so that's a good sign." She said leaning against the railing.

Elliot shook his head, "I made it very clear that no matter what does or doesn't happen between you and I…you are still their Mother and they are to show you respect." Kathy stared at him and he shrugged, "They're confused. And…trying to handle all the changes. We're all doing the best we can." Kathy looked down, and her hand rubbed along the growing bump, "I heard the good news. A son huh?"

Glancing up at him she frowned, "Elliot…"

Shaking his head he smiled, "Whether you believe me or not…I am happy for you. You're a wonderful Mother and if Michael makes you happy I think that's great."

She huffed, "It's easier when you're an asshole, it makes it easier to hate you."

Elliot laughed and kicked at the ground, "Sorry. I'll try and be more of an ass from now on."

They stood there in silence for a few minutes before she asked, "Did you ever wish we had another boy?"

Elliot looked up quickly and frowned, "No. We had a son."

"I know. But we also had three girls. It didn't bother you?" She asked curiously.

Elliot rolled his eyes, "Last time I checked…that part was on me. But…no. All I ever cared about was that they were safe and healthy." He paused before whispering, "You too."

Biting down hard on her lip she asked, "Do you want more kids?"

He laughed bitterly and stepped back, "Kathy…I don't want to do this right now. I'm gonna go."

He turned to walk away and she called after him, "I just…hate that it's her."

His face fell forward and he sighed before turning back to her, "Does it really matter now? She's gone."

"I just would sit here at night wondering if you preferred spending time with her than me and…it drove me crazy." She growled.

Elliot nodded, "I know. I know Kathy and I'm sorry. I really am. I never, ever meant to hurt you or the kids. When I married you I expected it to be forever. I had every intention…but we just…"

"Grew apart." She whispered and he nodded, "I know you're right. I don't know why I can't just…get over it. But she's everything that I'm not and I worry that the kids will like her more too."

"Kathy, you are their Mother. Not Olivia. No one is ever going to take your place in their life." He said.

"But she took the place of me." She whispered, "In yours." He cringed again, "I'm sorry…I'm sorry."

Taking a deep breath, "Like I said, it doesn't matter. She's gone. So…" He pointed to his car, "I guess I'll just see you at court on Thursday."

Kathy watched him walk away, "I really am sorry Elliot…"

"Me too." He whispered before climbing into the car and driving home, wishing that sorry was enough to bring her back.

Five weeks.

Five weeks suddenly felt like an eternity to her. She'd spent the last week trying to avoid Colt as much as possible. Whenever he saw her, he made it a point to try and get her alone but she wasn't willing to let that happen. Walking into her room, she expected to see Addy already in bed. However, she was surprised to see someone else lying there.

"Who are you?" She asked quickly, her heart starting to pound in her chest, "Where is Addy?"

The woman looked up at her, "I was told this is my room…Addy is gone. I'm Sasha."

Olivia's heart stopped and she quickly mumbled, "I have to go."

Turning, she ran back outside and across the field where the men's quarters were. There weren't many of them and she technically wasn't supposed to be there. It was one of Colt's rules but right now she didn't give a damn. Slamming her hand on the third door, she waited impatiently for Dean to come out. A moment later, he stepped back, bleary eyed and confused, "What-"

"Addy. Where the hell is Addy?" She asked quickly, slightly out of breath.

Dean grabbed her hand and pulled her in, "What do you mean where is she? She's your roommate."

Shaking her head she glanced around, "I just went back to my room and there is someone else there. She said Addy is gone. Dean I swear if he did something to her or brought her-"

Sighing, he lifted the mattress and took out his burner phone, "Hang on."

She started to pace, "What are you doing?"

"Just…hang on." He said, pressing the phone to his ear, "Starr…send a team down. I think it's time."

"Time for what?" Olivia asked as she watched him listening to Starr, "Time for what Dean?"

A moment later, he hung up his phone and then moved to the closet, "Come here."

Quickly, she followed him and saw him take out a box, "Do you think he took her to be transported?"

"Either that or he's got her in his room. He told me and some of the guys the other night about the drugs he feeds the women so that they don't ask questions." He said before turning to her, "Take this."

Olivia quickly took the gun and hid it on her hip, "What's the plan?"

Turning to her he frowned, "I'm going to bring you to his room."

Olivia's eyes went wide, "What?"

"He told us all how you are the one he wants right now. He's obsessed with you. We need to get you in that room to look for Addy." He said.

Olivia's mouth hung open, "He's going to expect-"

"I know. But I'm going to stay right outside and Starr and her team will be here before anything happens. I promise you that he won't lay a hand on you. But it's the only way to get in there." He said.

Olivia swallowed hard, "Dean…"

"Olivia…I know. I know, okay? But we don't have much time. If Addy is still here we need to get to her before he transports her. Otherwise, there is no getting her back. Do you want to save her or not?"

Swallowing hard, she knew she had no choice. She just hated going into this so blindly. Whenever she jumped, she knew there was a level of danger. But she always knew that with Elliot by her side, she would be okay. Here, she felt alone, completely and totally alone. Dean was talking to her, she heard almost every other word. The whole time, she held onto the pendant on her neck, telling herself that in some way, Elliot was with her and that was enough. Plus, if she did this, maybe it would get her that much closer to going home.

The next thing she knew, she was standing outside Colt's cabin and her heart was threatening to beat right out of her chest. Lifting her hand, she tried to keep herself from shaking as she knocked on the door. After a moment, the door opened and Colt was standing there, a smug look on his face that made her skin crawl, "Well, to what do I owe the pleasure of this surprise Ms. James?"

Taking a deep breath she whispered, "I know…that I've been avoiding you lately and I wanted to apologize."

Leaning against the doorframe he nodded, "I'm listening."

She knew his type. Knew she needed to feed his ego in order to get to him, to get him to let her in and trust her. "You've been so welcoming. So kind in allowing me to come here…it's been life changing. And I guess I was feelin ga little overwhelmed and scared of my feelings for you." She whispered, "I didn't think…that I was worthy of…someone like you."

Stepping backwards, he nodded, "Well I'm glad you're here now. Come on in."

Glancing to the left, she saw Dean watching from afar and she told herself she had to trust him. Stepping into the cabin, sheh absentmindedly let her fingers hold onto the pendant on her chest. Elliot, just focus on Elliot she thought. He'd get her out of this evenn from the other side of the country. Looking around, she saw that as she suspected, he was living in the lap of luxury while the rest of them lived in squalor. It wasn't unusual. In the corner, she spotted a sweater, a sweater she recognized as Addy's and she knew she had to be in here somewhere.

Turning back to him, she saw him pouring two glasses of wine. She had been warned about that. She had to make him think she was drinking it without letting a single drop pass her lips. When he walked back towards her she focused on him, "Here you go."

Olivia took the glass and smiled, "Thank you."

He nodded and watched her walk towards the other side of the room, "So…Persephone. I don't know much about your history. You're a bit of a mystery."

Leaning against the window behind her she shrugged, "Nothing special. Just a typical girl who got lost in the shuffle of the outside world I suppose. Never really belonged anywhere."

"So you came here because you wanted to belong somewhere." He was swirling the wine around in his cup.

Her eyes roamed around the room, trying to look for more clues to Addy's whereabouts, "Something like that."

Colt adjusted himself on the couch, "Well you're a very beautiful woman. I imagine the men were lining up to get to you. Ever been in love?"

Olivia swallowed hard, "Yes."

"Did he break your heart?" He asked softly, "Made you not believe in love or being happy?"

"He didn't break my heart." She said looking back at him, "He's…a good man."

Narrowing his eyes at her he leaned forward, "So if he's such a good man why are you here?"

"Because life doesn't always go according to plan." She said, holding the glass to her lips, making it look like she took a sip.

Colt laughed, "Life rarely does Perseophone. Usually goes well for me though…"

Olivia smiled at him, "Well you're one of the lucky ones." Glancing around she sighed, "Do you mind…if I use your bathroom?"

Colt leaned back on the couch again, "No. Not at all. Make yourself at home. Down the hall to the left."

Olivia nodded slowly, "Thanks."

"Take your time." He said, eyeing her carefully, "I'm not going anywhere."

Olivia placed her wine down, then quickly walked down the hallway. Slipping into the bathroom, she checked her gun at her hip, and the phone that Dean had given her. She saw a message that said We're in place. Find Addy. Taking a breath, she took in her surroundings, trying to keep calm. The bathroom was over the top which didn't surprise her. She assumed he took any money they were given for donations and put it into his home. Her eyes scanned the space until they fell on a door in the back corner and she froze. Something about it was calling her name.

Moving forward, she looked back at the regular bathroom door and knew she had locked it to give her more time if needed. Turning the knob, she was surprised to see it was open. The room was dark but she knew immediately where she was. His bedroom. A groan from the left caught her attention and she turned, walking towards it, "Addy?"

The person in the corner, curled in on herself and whimpered, "Leave me alone."

Olivia knelt down beside her and reached out, "Adeline, listen to me. I need you to try and stay with me. I'm not who you think I am…I'm going to get you out of here. My name is Olivia…I'm a Detective. Everything is going to be fine…"

Adeline shook at her side, "He's going to kill you. He'll kill all of us."

Olivia slowly began to lift her up, "No. He won't. I can promise you that."

"Are you so sure about that?" A voice behind them asked.

Olivia jumped, dropped Addy who yelped and then she shuffled to the side. Before she knew what was happening, Colt had his arms wrapped around her from behind and she was stuck. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she knew she had seconds to get out of this. Time stopped and she tried to focus, tried to breathe and then she remembered a time years ago when Elliot had put her in a similar situation to help her with her defense.

She'd been here for only a few months and while things were going well, she also knew she still had a lot to prove. As a woman, she was always the one that people looked at, judged, expected to break first. She knew most people didn't stay in this Unit but she felt compelled to be here. She felt like because of who she was, where she had come from made her the person that should be here. She wanted to protect the victims the way no one was able to protect her own Mother.

Today had been a crappy day and she was tired. She should have gone home. Instead, she was standing here, taking all of her frustrations out on the punching bag in front of her. Each punch felt like a little release and she couldn't stop herself. She stumbled slightly and sighed, when she heard someone walking in the gym. "I thought I'd find you here."

Turning to look, she saw her partner walking in, "Elliot, go home. Why are you still here?"

Shrugging he leaned against the back wall, "My partner had a bad day and I wanted to check on her."

"Your partner is a big girl and can handle herself." She grumbled, adjusting the punching bag in front of her.

She heard him walking towards her but she didn't turn to look at him. She kept her eyes trained on the bag in front of her, one punch after another, harder and harder and she felt like he was judging her. She went to say something to him when suddenly she felt two strong hands wrap around her from behind, "What the hell are you doing?"

"If you want to get your frustration out, want to learn about self defense. You need practice." He held on tighter, "Get out of my hold."

She growled, "Elliot, this isn't funny. Let me go."

He didn't move, just held on tighter, "You have to get out of this on your own."

Her heart was pounding in her chest but she knew he would never hurt her. He wasn't trying to be rude. Wasn't trying to upset her. He really did want her to be better. He wanted her here. He wanted her to stay here as his partner. He believed in her and wanted her to be better. She held her breath, trying to think of what to do. But her mind was blank. Without a gun on her hip, she felt helpless against him even if he wouldn't hurt her.

And then he spoke in a soothing voice, "Move your left leg between mine." Slowly, she did as she was told, "Hook your foot with my ankle." Again she compiled, "Then take your right hand, wrap it around my forearm, squeeze tight and use your elbow on your left hand to hit my stomach." She didn't move and he nodded, "It's okay. You have to do it or you won't learn." She still hesitated, "And after you do that, push your foot behind my ankle so that I start to lose my balance. And then you'll have the ability to break free and fight back. Ready?" She nodded once, catching his eyes in the mirror, "One. Two. Th-"

Before he could finish saying the number, she followed his instructions, catching him off guard and he stumbled more than she expected. She pushed hard, punched him in the gut again and pretended and he fell backwards, "Damn Liv."

Taking a deep breath, she knelt down beside him, "You told me to do it!"

He laughed and sat up, rubbing his stomach nervously, "I did. But you're stronger than even I gave you credit for."

She smiled sheepishly and leaned back on her heels, "Sorry…"

"Don't apologize." Carefully, he pulled himself up off the ground, "Let's do it again."

She stared up at him in surprise, "What?"

Reaching his hand out to her he smiled, "Liv, the only way to get better is to practice. You can trust me. I'm not going to let you fail. No matter what."

Taking his hand, he pulled her up to her feet and she stood in front of him, "Is that a promise?"

Turning her slowly, he wrapped his arms around her again and nodded, "That's a promise."

Back in the cabin, she took stalk of her surroundings. She felt his arms wrapping around her. Saw Addy trembling in the corner but the only thing she could hear was Elliot's words from that very day. She moved her foot, adjusted her body and went through the motions he had taught her. Next thing she knew, Colt was on the ground and she had her gun pressed to his chest and the room filled with other agents, "Don't. Move."

His eyes went wide as he stared up at her, "You're a cop."

"Yes. I am." She held him closer, "You're not getting out of this one."

Addy trembled in the corner, "Persephone…"

Dean knelt down in front of her, "Good work. You okay?"

Olivia looked up at him, "Yeah. I'm fine." She looked down at Colt and frowned, "Can you…"

"I got it from here." He said quickly, "Go check on Addy."

When she knew that he wasn't going to be able to get away, she turned and crawled towards Adeline, "Hey…you're okay."

"I want to go home." Adleline shook as she leaned against her, "Please take me home."

Running her hands through the girl's hair, she leaned in, "You're safe now Addy. I promise you are safe. I've got you."

Addy looked up at her and whispered, "It wasn't supposed to be like this…"

"I know." Olivia whispered, ""Just stay with me…everything is going to be fine. I promise."

Thirty minutes later, Olivia stood in the field looking out at the dark night sky, the moon and the stars. This part was over and she could focus on going home. Getting back to Elliot. Where she belonged.

Someone walked up behind her and she turned, "Addy is going to be just fine. She's being treated. We put in a call and her brother and sister and law are on their way to meet her at the hospital. They've been searching for her for months."

Olivia smiled, "Good. I'm glad."

Dean nodded, "All the inside info you gave and all the girls you were able to interfere on…Starr was right. You are damn good at your job."

Taking a deep breath, she looked up at him and nodded, "Thank you Dean."

"Are you sure you want to go back? We could use someone like you in the FBI. You make connections with people. They trust you." He said, "I'd like to offer you a job."

Olivia shook her head, "I appreciate the offer Dean but…I belong in New York. I need to go home." She squeezed his arm and stepped back, "I'll see you around I'm sure."

Dean watched her go and said, "That partner of yours…your best friend." She froze and turned back to him, "Make sure he knows how lucky he is to have you by his side."

Oliva's heart jumped in her chest, "We're both lucky."

And then she turned and walked away, ready to finally go home.

Six weeks.

Six full weeks without her and today of all days he was missing her the most. Today was the day of the custody battle. He knew that if she was here, if she was beside him, he'd feel less nervous. He didn't believe that he would be taken away from his children. Didn't believe the judge would go against what was best for the kids, but he also knew that he had made mistakes in the past. Olivia would be the only thing that helped keep him calm.

Sighing, he went through his closet, trying to find something to wear. All of his suits felt wrong and he was looking for one in particular but couldn't find it. And then he remembered. The last time he had worn it he had been with Olivia. In fact, she was the last person to wear it. It made him want it even more. It would feel like she was beside him, like part of her was still with him. Thinking hard, he remembered that someone had brought it to him that day when he found out she was gone. What had he done with it?

And then he remembered.

Moving into the living room, he glanced around. The place was a bit disheveled. It had been a lot during the last six weeks. But he was doing the best he could, he reminded himself. He vaguely remembered collapsing on the couch, feeling frustrated and tossing the jacket. Bending down, he moved the couch to the side and saw the coat, a little worn around the edges but still okay. PIcking it up, he cleaned it up as best he could and then slipped it on over his shirt before walking out of the apartment ready to face the day.

But still…he didn't check the pocket.

Once he got to the courtroom, he was surprised to see Don, Fin and John in the back. He gave them all a quick look, they nodded, letting him know they were there to support him in whatever way he needed. Then he took his place beside his lawyer. "Ready?"

Elliot sighed and pulled at his coat, "I think so." Glancing to his left, he saw Kathy with her lawyer, saw Maureen behind them and he wished things had turned out differently.

So many things.

Sitting down, he listened to the opening remarks. He'd been at enough of these custody hearings during other cascades to know how it all worked. He was just going through the motions, waiting for the final result. But then something caught his attention. "I wanted it noted in the record that my office was flooded with letters on behalf of Elliot Stabler, the father."

Elliot had no idea this had happened. He stopped. Looked at his lawyer who just gave him a nod. Then he turned to look at his boss and coworkers who just smiled, letting them know as usual, they were right beside him. Brothers in blue. Slowly, he turned back to the judge. "I found many of them moving. But one in particular…said more about his character than I think any of the rest. I'd like to read it before I make my final decision."

Elliot swallowed hard and waited, unsure of what he was going to hear or who could have written it.

To whom it may concern,

I am writing this letter on behalf of Elliot Stabler. I have known Detective Stabler for over eight years now. In that time, we have been partners at the Special Victims Unit and became incredibly close as friends. I can honestly say that my life became infinitely better the moment I met Elliot and his children.

Immediately his heart started to pound harder and he knew. She was here. Even if not physically, she was right here beside him where she always had been.

When I came onto the team, Elliot had been there for a few years before me. He'd already proved himself to be strong, resilient and capable. He took the time to guide me, help me become the best that I could be in a Unit where most people don't last more than a year or two. With the sensitive nature of the cases we see, it takes a very strong person to continue to show up day in and day out.

And that is what Elliot Stabler is. When I joined the Unit, I was told that I should find a reason, a reason for showing up everyday. A reason for fighting when all else fails. A reason to keep searching for justice even on the darkest days. Elliot's Stabler's reason was always clear.

His children.

Maureen, Kathleen, Richard and Elizabeth. They are his world. They are his reason for fighting, his reason for breathing. Every time we find a child, everytime we save them, I know he sees his children. I know that a little piece of him will see his children in every victim we meet. I know the fear it causes him. Those who do not do what we do, will never understand the toll it takes on you. Will never know how hard it is to lay your head down at night and remember the children you couldn't save. Will never understand the pain, the fear, the emotional turmoil, the stress and anxiety it causes.

But everyday Elliot wakes up, kisses his children goodbye and goes back to fight to make the world a better place. A better place for them. A safer place. A place where he can know they won't ever be the victims he faces each day.

Growing up, I did not have a Father. My life was a constant battle and I dreamed of a parent who cared half as much as Elliot cares for those children. As someone who longed for that, I am so proud of the man that he is. For the Detective he is. But mostly, for the Father he is. To take him away from his children would not only be a disservice to him, but to his children who adore him. His children who need him in their life.

Life is short. The years go by quickly. They deserve to be surrounded, protected, and loved by their Father. Though he may miss time with them while at work, it's not because he doesn't love them. It's because he loves them so much that he can't stop until he knows they are safe, until he knows that they won't suffer the way he has seen so many others suffer. For as much as those children need him, he needs them just as much. He needs them so he keeps fighting, so he keeps showing up, so he can make the world a better place one day at a time.

Sincerely,

Olivia Benson

The room was silent as the Judge finished the last part of the letter. Elliot leaned against the table in front of him, floored by her words. When he turned to the left, he saw Kathy, tears in her eyes staring back at him. And he knew she finally understood.

"I think it's clear in this case that while-"

"Stop." Kathy cleared her throat and looked back at the Judge, "Stop. Just…stop."

"Ms. Stabler I have to remind you that this is a courtroom and interrupting me will-"

"I know." She sighed and stood up on shaky legs, her hand resting on her pregnant belly, "But I changed my mind."

Elliot could hear Maureen gasp, saw Kathy's lawyer reach for her, "Kathy…"

"Fifty-fifty." Kathy said sniffling, "I want fifty-fifty custody. My children need their Father…" She turned to look at him and she frowned, "And he needs them…Olivia was right."

Elliot sat up a little straighter, "Kathy…"

"I'm sorry." She whispered softly, "I'm so sorry…I was just…I didn't-" She looked back at Maureen, "I'm sorry."

The judge turned slowly to look at Elliot, "Mr. Stabler…would you be okay with this agreement?"

Elliot stood up slowly, "Yes. Absolutely."

The judge nodded and leaned back, "Well good…because that was my suggestion." Looking between the two lawyers he nodded, "Can we come to this agreement together?"

Elliot's lawyer looked down at him and smiled, "I think so."

Elliot took a deep breath, felt the world start to tip back on its axis. At least part of it was going back to the way it was. Now if he could just figure out where Olivia was…maybe he could make her see…

"Elliot?" He'd been so lost in thought, he didn't realize Kathy was standing beside him.

Turning to look at her he nodded, "H-Hi." He ran a hand over his face and he frowned, "Kathy, thank you. Thank you."

Kathy sighed, "You really do love her." He froze and then whispered, "And she loves you…loves you enough to walk away to save the kids."

Elliot nodded, "Yes."

"I'm so sorry…" She whispered, "I…I may not like it. Might not like that it's her…but I need to learn to accept it. Just like you've accepted me and Michael…"

Elliot stood up a little straighter, "Thank you…I don't know if she'll be coming back but-"

"That letter didn't sound like a woman who was willing to give up that easily." She whispered, "And if there is anything I can do to help…"

Elliot laughed, "No offense…but I'm not going to be running to you for advice when it comes to Olivia."

She blushed nervously, "Probably for the best…"

Looking back at her he sighed, "So…fifty-fifty. You know that with work-"

"I never understood it." She whispered, "But hearing it from her perspective…I think I'm starting to see how much you sacrifice for all of us."

Elliot sighed and leaned against the table, "I see them in every kid I find Kathy…and that takes its toll. I'm sorry for the things I missed. But it was always for them."

"I know." She whispered, "Or at least I do now. Which is why…we can have fifty-fifty, but if something comes up at work, I'll be there too. I won't stand in your way of a relationship with them. Not anymore."

Leaning forward, he put his hand on her shoulder, "I appreciate that."

"Mom?" They both turned to look at Maureen, "Michael's waiting outside…"

Kathy looked back at Elliot, "Are you going to be okay?"

Elliot nodded as Maureen stepped up beside him, "I get to see my kids. Course I am."

Kathy smiled at them both, then turned and walked out of the courtroom. Maureen looked at her Dad, "Did you know she wrote that?"

Elliot shook his head, "No. I didn't."

"She didn't want you to know." They both turned to see Cragen, Fin and John standing there, "She made us all keep it under wraps because she thought you'd be against it."

Elliot smiled softly, "Sounds like Olivia…"

"Sure does." Maureen said, squeezing him back, "You sure you're really okay?"

He took a deep breath, pressed a kiss to the top of her head and smiled, "I'm getting there kid. I'm getting there."

The following night…

Six weeks. It had been six weeks since she was back in New York. Six weeks since she'd been home, surrounded by the people she loved most. Six weeks since she'd seen him. She'd thought about calling him before getting on the plane, but she decided surprising him would be a better idea. She'd taken the cab directly to the Precinct figuring it was her best bet to find him.

Riding the elevator upstairs, she thought of all the moments she'd shared with him here. All the fights, all the laughs, all the tears. And she couldn't wait to experience more. Walking into the squad room, she looked around and for the first time in six weeks finally felt at peace. Until…her eyes landed on a blonde woman she didn't recognize.

Her feet moved her forward and she stopped by the desk, "Excuse me. I'm looking for Detective Stabler."

The woman looked up quickly, "He's in interrogation. Maybe I can help you? I'm his partner, Dani Beck."

His partner.

Her heart rattled away in her chest as the words echoed through her mind. His partner. He had a new partner. A female partner. A young female partner. Swallowing hard, she tried to not jump to conclusions, "Oh, no. That's okay. Um, is the captain in his office?"

"He had a meeting with the Chief. He should be back in a few minutes if you want to wait?" She asked.

Olivia nodded, "Uh. Sure. Yeah…that would be…be good."

Olivia started to walk away when Dani called out to her, "Are you sure you're okay Miss?"

"I'm good." She pointed towards the office, "Yeah…I'm good."

Walking into the office, she tried to not let herself jump to conclusions. Tried to ignore that pit in her stomach. But when she turned back around and saw him walking towards the woman sitting at her old desk, her heart sank. She watched the way he leaned over her, the way he smiled, touched her arm, all the things he'd done with her. The only thought she had was that she had been replaced. He hadn't waited. And before anyone could see her, before Cragen got back, she slipped out the side door and walked quickly to the elevator before pulling out her phone.

When he answered she sighed, "Dean? Hi…yeah it's Olivia. I uh…I changed my mind. Is that job opening still available?"

The doors of the elevator closed as Cragen exited the second elevator and walked to the squad room. He saw Elliot and Dani laughing about something and he smiled, "Well, it's good to see you two not at each other's throat for once."

Elliot looked back at his boss and laughed, "Sorry Cap. I was just apologizing to Dani for my behavior…the case with the kids and…" His voice trailed away and he shook his head, "I was taking it out on her and that was wrong."

Dani pointed to Cragen's office, "Someone is waiting in your office."

Cragen nodded, "Oh. Alright." He looked back at Elliot, "You okay?"

Elliot sighed, "Yeah. Today…today I'm okay."

Cragen smiled. "Good. I'm glad."

"We're gonna go grab dinner. We'll be back in a while." Elliot said, reaching for his coat, "Need anything?"

"No. I'm good." Cragen answered, "Enjoy."

Walking back to his office, he opened the door and turned, "Sorry to keep you waiting-'

But the room was empty…and suddenly he had a bad feeling.

A few hours later, Elliot and Dani were at their desks going over some files when Cragen walked into the office. But he wasn't alone.

"You colossal idiot." The voice said, Elliot looked up and frowned when he saw Star, "She was gone six weeks and you couldn't keep it in your damn pants?"

Elliot leaned back in his chair, "Star…what the hell are you doing here? And more importantly…what the hell are you talking about?"

"Olivia…" She said with a huff, "She's on her way to the airport to take a job with the FBI because she came back and saw you flirting with…her."

Elliot's head was spinning and he stood up, "Hang on…hang on what are you-" He walked closer to her, "Olivia was here?"

"Yes. She came back and was coming here tonight to surprise you." She huffed and shoved him back, "But I should have left you bleeding on the sidewalk you dumbass…"

Fin and John walked into the squad room and looked around, "What's going on?"

Elliot pinched the bridge of his nose, "Star…she left."

"Yes. Because I made her." She said with a sigh, "God, didn't you get the coat? I swear to God if you didn't get the coat…I'm gonna kill my team. She spent forever writing that damn letter."

"Yes I got the coat…but I still don't understand." He said quickly, "She didn't-I never got a letter. You mean the letter she wrote for the custody case?"

"Jesus Stabler." Her hands flew up in the air, "No. not that letter! You call yourself a Detective?" He looked blankly at her and she frowned, "Coats have pockets, did you know that?"

Everyone looked at him and he cursed under his breath, "Damn it Dana…" He grabbed his keys and pointed at her, "Next time just shoot me again. That hurt less than thinking I lost her."

And then he was running.

A letter.

She had left him a letter and he had no idea. When he got to the car outside, he moved quicker and then frowned looking at it. Something was wrong. And then he saw it, a flat tire. "You have GOT to be kidding me."

"Get in." Fin said from behind him as John climbed in the squad car in front of Elliot's car. "We'll put the lights on and everything."

Elliot laughed, kicked his own car and then climbed in the passenger seat, "Let's go."