Well, I updated! And quickly, if I may say so myself! I'm so happy that I have some happy reviewers! THANK YOU SO MUCH! I feel so loved! XD I just LOVE reviews, and reviewers! I can't believe some people actually like my writing! I tried letting my friends give their opinions, but most of them are homophobic… Grr! Why can't the world realize that love is two people loving each other, not just a guy and a girl? -fumes- Anyways, here's the next chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation

Lies, Deceit and Unwanted Pain

Chapter 4: Waiting for My Love…

Shuichi stared at the clock in awe. It had been two or three days since he slept. 'Time goes by so fast…' Shuichi thought with dismay. The clock had always been there, but Shuichi seemed to notice it more now. Maybe it was because he wanted time to go faster, so that he could see Yuki sooner.

Shuichi sighed wearily. His whole body felt weaker than usual. His whole world was spinning, back and forth, up and down… Shuichi clenched his hand into a fist.

"Stop moving, stupid world!" Shuichi yelled with all his strength. He growled until the spinning stopped. Then, he smiled in relief. He looked around the couch for something to do. He definitely didn't have the energy to stand up, let alone search the whole apartment for something to do.

"I wonder what Yuki is thinking about right now…" Shuichi thought aloud. Shuichi considered ordering food or making some for Yuki, but quickly dismissed it. He knew that he would burn the house down if he tried to cook something. And if he ordered something, it could be stale by the time Yuki returned, if he ever did.

Shuichi frowned and looked around for the remote. 'I could've sworn that I left it on the table' Shuichi thought angrily. He would've gotten up and turned the TV on, but he was too shaky and weak to attempt it.

Shuichi wanted to watch TV for a weird reason. No, he didn't want to watch Ryuichi's latest concert on TV. No, he didn't want to watch that weird game show. He wanted to watch the news, again.

Personally, Shuichi didn't care about the weather or the newest fashion model. He wanted to see if there was any info on Yuki. Even though it made no sense, Shuichi was willing to give it a try. Maybe someone said that they saw Yuki in New York or boarding an airplane? Nah. Even if they did, why would they announce it on the news? It could've always been a look-alike, so he doubted that they'd announce it on the news.

'It's worth a shot' Shuichi reminded himself. "Aha!" Shuichi cried happily. He reached for the remote under the couch. "I've got you, you evil remote!" Shuichi gripped the remote tightly, as if he thought it was going to slip out of his hands and run away. He smirked at the EVIL Remote that Hides under THE Couch. "It's time to watch the news."

Shuichi turned the TV on using the remote. He flipped through channels until he saw a glimpse of a lady in a yellow rain coat. The rain coat was used for dramatics if the weather men predicted rain. Shuichi knew that. Hiro had told him that useful piece of information a last week. Shuichi always thought that the lady really just got back from a rainstorm. Hiro just laughed at him and explained how that made no sense.

"Okay, now let's stop the stupid forecast" Shuichi threatened the TV, as if it would skip the forecast just for him. "It's not like I'm leaving this house any time soon! I don't need the forecast until my Yuki comes back!" The TV did not change until the lady was finished, which, to Shuichi, seemed like hours. Every minute was like eternity of waiting. He now knew the feeling of being in an empty apartment. There was no one to talk to, except inanimate objects. He was crazy enough as it was. He didn't need to have conversations with the drawers.

Nothing of interest was on the news. There was some pretty boring stuff on that day. For example, the biggest story was about a cat that got stuck in a tree. Boring! 'Man, they must be really desperate if they're putting that on their show!' Shuichi thought. He sighed and dismissed the thought of hearing something about his beloved Yuki on the news. If a cat stuck in a tree was the best these people could offer, Yuki definitely wasn't on it.

"I hate the news" Shuichi breathed hoarsely. He realized that his throat was very dry. It was difficult to speak with such a dry throat. He frowned at himself. He couldn't believe that Yuki left him. 'I wasn't being annoying lately' Shuichi thought. 'Or was I?' Shuichi scratched his head. He sighed in frustration. Today wasn't his day. 'I wonder what day it is' Shuichi thought, trying to steer his mind away from bad thoughts.

It was Friday when Shuichi first realized that Yuki had left. Then, he stayed up all night, into Saturday. Then, he went looking for a gift for Yuki. Then, he went home and made one. Shuichi looked at the clock drowsily. It was 11:59PM. Shuichi stared at the clock for a few seconds. Then, it was 1AM. That meant that it had been three days since he had seen Yuki, three whole days….

Shuichi could hardly believe it. Sure, when they went on tours, Shuichi didn't see Yuki for a month or so. But, this was different, very different. Shuichi could call Yuki when he was on tours, even if Yuki didn't answer. Shuichi knew that Yuki was there on the other line, listening intently, though he knew Yuki would never admit it. If Shuichi called Yuki, he'd probably die when he would hear something like: "This phone is out of service". Shuichi knew it would say that, so he didn't even bother, not like he could get to the phone anyways. And, on top of that, Yuki was mad at Shuichi. Shuichi never left for a tour without making sure that he and Yuki weren't mad at each other. He used to think that it would be a disaster, and now he realized that it really was. Back then, he thought he'd never see the day that Yuki left for more than two days being angry with his pink-haired lover, after New York of course!

Shuichi felt an overwhelming pain come over him. He bit his lip, trying to hold back tears. He hated the pain, the guilt, and all this unwanted pain. He didn't want to sulk and slowly die inside, but he couldn't stop. His lover had left him, again. He was hurting, yes, but Yuki's happiness mattered more. He sighed. 'I sound like Ayaka' he thought to himself. 'All I want is his happiness, even if it doesn't include me…' Shuichi's heart shattered. Then, it brought up a painful question.

"What-what if Yuki does want me to leave?" Shuichi asked himself anxiously. He gripped the couch nervously. He had been ignoring this question in his mind for awhile now, for obvious reasons. "What will I do then?" Shuichi started crying again. He knew that when Yuki returned, Shuichi would have to ask him the ultimate question: Should I leave? Just the thought of it made Shuichi shiver. 'I'll kill myself' Shuichi told himself. 'I can't live without him. I'll die for him, I don't care… I'll leave him if it makes him happy, but I won't go on. I can't. He's my whole world!'

Shuichi started coughing violently. He recovered quickly, but his throat hurt even more than before. 'If Yuki is cold, then he has water somewhere…' Shuichi thought. Rain water. Snow frozen water, or so Shuichi thought. 'So, I'll take just one sip…' He tried to stand to get something to drink, perhaps from his mug. His legs wobbled and collapsed from beneath him. He groaned. 'So much for that idea' he thought. His thoughts became hazy and his whole world started spinning. He plopped back on to the couch and stared at the TV.

"I hate you, you stupid TV" Shuichi choked out. He coughed again, and then shivered. He growled. "You're so stupid! You don't have any news about Yuki, so you're worthless…" Shuichi would've smashed the TV if he had the energy to stand. But he didn't so he just glared at the TV and started saying insults that were inaudible.

Shuichi looked for something sharp. He had to find something sharp, something that could cut him. He was on a mission. He knew that he wouldn't be able to make it to the bathroom, so he had to make do with what was around him. He saw a piece of glass on the floor, under the couch, mixed with several other random objects.It was probably from that lamp he broke a week before.Shuichi bent down and groped around for the glass.He grabbed the piece of glass and lifted it up to his face, so he could admire it.

Shuichi's eyes gleamed mercifully. With the strength he had left, he pulled down his sleeves and cut his arms several times. When he felt that he was done, he dropped the piece of glass and pulled his sleeves back down. The blood seeped through them for awhile. He was wearing an extremely light shirt! Really, it wasn't a lot of blood. Two minutes later, the bleeding stopped. Shuichi stared into space, admiring everything in the room that was Yuki's. His mind was so clouded that he didn't even realize how much everything hurt physically. He only knew how much it hurt emotionally, and that was enough for him to break down into tears.

"Please back home…" Shuichi whispered. "I need you…" And Shuichi sat and waited. He waited for a long time. He would wait forever if he had to, because he was waiting for his love to return…

A/N: That last paragraph made me cry… I cry easily, so I doubt any of you will even shed a tear. –cries- I feel so bad for torturing Shuichi! ;; But it can't be angst if it doesn't have torchure in it... Oh, and I might have the BIG EVENT that I've been raving about happen in the 6th chapter, not the 5th. I had another idea as to what could happen with Shuichi, so I just HAVE to add it... It'll be a very interesting chapter, or so I believe. It'll have more dialouge with the characters. And maybe a call from Hiro... I'm not sure. Things may change if I can't work things out in my small brain. So, there's still a possibility that the BIG EVENT will happen in the 5th chapter. Not sure yet... I have a lot of thinking to do... -growls- I hate thinking. It makes my brain hurt, or at least it will when I find my brain. -scours-

Well, that's all for now! Thank you so much for reviewing, you wonderful reviewers! You're what keeps me going! So, read on:)