Hey everybody! I updated, as promised! My day sucked, so I'm a bit depressed. Please give me good reviews so I can be happy again! I can't even dance... -cries- Well, this chapter is a bit more interesting. The next chapter will be a lot better though. I think it'll be the best chapter yet, hands down! Oh, and I didn't know where Yuki lived, so I made something up. Thank you for even reading this. -bows- I can't believe it! Nine people are reading this story! Nine! That is so awesome... (as I said, I'm depressed, so no exclamation points for me) I couldn't be happier about THAT particular subject. You guys make me feel so appreciated.
Oh, and I deeply apologize to the anonymous reviewers! I've never replied to you guys, or even made recognition that you reviewed! I am so sorry! I'm truly greatful that you reviewed my story! I read all your comments and I listened to that song. If you want me to reply, then make yourself a name so that I know which reviewer I'm writing to.
Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation. -cries-
Chapter 8: 911! Breaking!
At first, Yuki made no effort to move at all. He just stood there, staring at his lover in shock. He was frozen and extremely confused. His mouth was dry, so no words came out, and his whole body seemed paralyzed with shock. He went into his 'Eiri panic mode'. He wasn't angry like he tried to be; he was afraid. He was terrified. He had never been more afraid in his life, which was a big deal if you knew Yuki's background.
'What the heck happened?' he thought, since that was the only thing he could do at the moment. He looked at Shuichi again and cringed. The sight of his state was traumatizing, even for Yuki. Shuichi, the high-energy leveled baka, was unconscious due to lack of sleep, food and water.
Finally, Yuki came back to reality. He rushed over to Shuichi's side and lifted him up. Shuichi was light; a lot lighter than before Yuki had left. He was extremely pale and he was shaking. Yuki looked at his sleeve with dismay. It was covered in blood. Some of the blood seemed older than the others, which meant that this was over a period of time.
'What did he do?' he wondered as he carried Shuichi to the kitchen. He carefully lifted Shuichi's sleeve to see the damage. He gasped.
There were cuts all over his arms…. They seemed self-inflicted. Yuki began to tremble. 'H-h-he c-cut himself?' he thought nervously. 'W-why?' Yuki began thinking as one of his hands reached for the phone, shaking badly.
Then, it clicked. The note….said that Yuki went to New York… 'He thought I left for New York again?' Yuki thought. 'But I left him a note saying where I was… He thought I wasn't coming back this time, or that when I did, I'd want him to leave. What gave him that idea? Did he just not notice the note and jump to conclusions?' Yuki took a deep breath He lifted the phone and dialed.
'And he cut himself because of that?' Yuki thought. He pulled Shuichi's sleeves back down, frowning. 'And he starved himself because of me? Am I really that important?' Yuki took a deep breath before answering the lady on the other line.
"911, please state your emergency" a kind, feminine voice asked. She seemed calm and collected. Then again, she had to be that way to succeed in her job.
"Um…hi" Yuki said clearly. "Uh… I found my boyfriend at my apartment, and he's in really bad shape…." Yuki was shaking so hard that he nearly dropped Shuichi. He didn't know what to say.
"How severe is it?" the woman asked politely, still keeping her voice calm.
"It's pretty bad" Yuki admitted. He stopped shaking. "And he cut himself, too…." Yuki looked at Shuichi's sleeves.
"Where is he?" she asked. It was more like a demand, but she said it in a kind, soothing way. Yuki almost felt comforted. Almost.
"Well, we're in the Tokyo Marsh Development in this area, number 44" Yuki replied. He sighed.
"Okay sir, an ambulance will arrive shortly" the woman said. "Don't hang up.
"Thank you" Yuki breathed. "I'll stay." He walked towards the door, starting to shake again, the phone still on his ear. The lady was trying to tell him something, but he wasn't on this planet anymore. He couldn't hear what she was saying at all. He was so nervous.
'What if they get stuck in traffic?' Yuki asked himself. 'Or what if they forgot to come? What if….What if Shuichi dies?' Yuki tried to erase that thought out of his mind, but it still kept coming back, more graphic each time, to Yuki's dismay. The thought of a blood-drenched, dead Shuichi haunted him for the rest of the day,
Hours seemed to go by, even though in reality it was only minutes. Once he heard the ambulance alarm, he ran out his door, clutching Shuichi tightly. He ran down the stairs, being careful not to slip. He couldn't believe that he was holding Shuichi, the sick boy, in his arms at the moment. It almost seemed like a dream, no, a nightmare.
Once Yuki arrived outside, he saw several paramedics rushing about. A few neighbors looked out their windows to see what was going on. Some gasped or ignored it. Others even came outside to get a better look. After all, it wasn't everyday that an ambulance parked in front of your development. Yuki was angry at them for getting into his own business. 'They probably don't even really care' Yuki thought angrily. 'They're just nosey.'
"Is this the boy?" a paramedic asked. He was right in front of Yuki. Yuki nodded quickly and handed Shuichi to the doctor. He started shaking again, and he paled. The paramedic nodded and put Shuichi in the back of the truck.
"Do you want to come?" the doctor asked urgently. Yuki nodded and followed him inside the ambulance. The paramedic had a stern face on, which told Yuki that he meant business. Yuki sat next to Shuichi, who was into a stretcher, breathing heavily.
"When did you find him?" the paramedic asked. Yuki gulped. The truck started moving very fast. Yuki clutched Shuichi's pale hand.
"Uh…maybe twenty minutes ago" Yuki said nervously. He took a deep breath and tightened his grip slightly.
"That's Shuichi Shindou, isn't it?" the paramedic asked. Yuki nodded silently. "And you're Eiri Yuki, I presume?" Yuki nodded again. "Well, no need to worry." 'Yeah, easy for you to say' Yuki thought. "We'll be at the hospital shortly. I promise you." He seemed to notice Yuki's grip and the fear in his eyes. He immediately knew that he had to comfort Yuki as best as he could.
When they finally arrived, Yuki hopped out of the vehicle, followed by the paramedic with a stretcher with Shuichi on it. He moved out of the way and watched several paramedics run out of the hospital and help transport Shuichi inside the building.
Yuki could only watch. He stood out there on the sidewalk for at least a half hour, waiting for something, though he didn't know what. Finally, a nurse came out and escorted Yuki to the waiting room. She had brown hair and blue eyes. She tried to calm the shaking novelist down, but she failed miserably. She barely managed to get him inside the hospital. She had to push him inside, because his knees kept buckling when he tried to walk.
So, Yuki sat down in a chair and put his face in his face. He thought of Shuichi, his Shuichi, in the hospital. He glanced at the other people in the room. They, too, looked worried. Many were crying. Some were shaking like him. Some were silent, swaying back and forth in a rhythmic motion.
Yuki looked down the hall eagerly. He imagined for Shuichi to come running down the hall, singing and glomping Yuki. He saw it for a moment, but once he rubbed his eyes, it was gone. Shuichi wasn't there. He sighed. 'You see what you want to see' he thought. 'You hear what you want to hear.'
Yuki struggled not to cry. 'I can't cry' he told himself. 'I won't cry because of this.' He bit his lip, holding back tears. He took another deep breath. 'He cut himself because of me… He starved himself because of me… Why? Why did he think I was leaving? And why did he do that just because he thought I went to New York? He's such an idiot... He's my idiot though...'
'What if he…dies?' Yuki thought. 'No, he won't die! He can't die! He-he just can't!' It still amazed Yuki that the energetic Shuichi would actually hurt himself. Shuichi was almost always happy, or he was sad for a stupid reason. But he never hurt himself, on purpose. Sure, he burnt his hands on the stove a few times, and cut himself with scissors before. But he never did it on purpose, and never when he was alone. Then again, that was the whole reason Shuichi hurt himself in the first place. He was alone.
'I'm NEVER leaving him alone again' Yuki told himself. 'If he lives, I swear that I'll never leave him alone for more than a day!' He grumbled something to himself and closed his eyes. He started to think about things, a lot of things that were very important to him.
Yuki occasionally looked up at the nurses and people, hoping that they would say something about Shuichi. But they didn't, to Yuki's dismay. So, he waited for a little more. He was slowly breaking inside, and he knew it.
Finally, Yuki couldn't hold it in anymore. He let out a choked sob, which led to another, and another, until he was officially crying. He kept as silent as possible, keeping his face in his hands. Shuichi was hurt, and Yuki could do nothing to help him. 'It's my fault' he thought. 'It's my entire fault. If I refused Mika's offer, this would've never happened. I'm such a jerk. I'm so selfish… How does Shuichi put up with me, a heartless bastard?'
Tears kept flowing. Yuki Eiri, the romance novelist, was, for once, at a loss for words. He always had a large amount of words to say or write. That was why he was such a good writer. But he couldn't help the one person he cared for the most. He couldn't do a thing, nothing at all. He hated himself. He truly did. He hated this feeling of being worthless. He wanted to protect Shuichi from any harm ever since he met the baka. He had failed before, when Shuichi got raped and beaten by Taki and his hired rapists' because Shuichi didn't want anything to happen to Yuki. Yuki hated himself then, and he hated himself now even more, if that was even possible.
"I'm sorry" he whispered hoarsely. He closed his eyes again. He tried to understand why he was so scared, so worried, so hurt. He never felt so horrible in his life. Why? How could one boy make him feel this way? It was like his whole life was falling apart, just because of one person in the world. He thought about it for at least ten minutes, but still couldn't understand.
And then Yuki finally realized that he loved Shuichi more than anyone else in the world.
A/N: Okay! Did you guys like it? If you did or didn't, please review so I can improve! I'll update faster if I get more reviews! And I'll give you a Shuichi-shaped cookie as an added bonus! Who can resist that offer? Okay, so maybe a lot of people... Whatever! Well, this was a deep chapter, I think... Yuki's really hurting, isn't he? I bet you all can't wait to see what happens next. I am so loving 'the authoress power' right now! XD I already know, so I don't have to suffer! Yayness! I'll update tomorrow between 8PM to 11PM. Thanks for reviewing. Keep on reviewing, too!