Hey guys! I got over 50 reviews, so I'm in a very good mood! -dances- This is an awesome chapter, or so I believe! It's my favorite so far, just because it has Yuki and Shuichi talking!Finally! I might update again today, though I'm not sure...Here's the next chapter! Yay! Read and review please! I hope you like it! XD

Oh, and thanks anonymous reviewers! -bows- Keep on reading, okay? Good! D

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation, even though I desperately want to.

Chapter 10: Erwachen

Silence. That was all Shuichi wanted to hear. But no, the images kept repeating themselves in his head until he couldn't think straight. They were horrible scenes, played over and over again. He couldn't even close his eyes to block them out. His eyes were already closed. It was as if someone was keeping his eyes open during an R rated movie during the scene were everyone dies a bloody death. To Shuichi, this was worse than death.

'Yuki' he thought. He could see Yuki glaring at him, cutting his heart open. Shuichi let out a sob. 'Yuki!' Yuki rolled his eyes and slowly walked towards Shuichi. Shuichi gulped. 'Yuki?' he thought.

"Darn brat" he hissed, slapping Shuichi across the face. "Will you ever just leave me alone? Will you? I almost died, because of YOU. You made me sick! You made me run to New York. It's all YOUR fault."

'No, Yuki!' Shuichi cried. No sounds came out of his mouth, escaped the occasional sob. 'Please, Yuki! I'm sorry! I'll leave! Just please, don't hate me!'

"You ruined my life, brat" Yuki breathed, putting a cigarette between his lips. "Everything you touch is destroyed. How can you live with yourself?"

'I-I don't!' Shuichi cried. He was so angry that Yuki couldn't hear him. He reached out to touch Yuki. Yuki immediately slapped him again, pushing him away. Shuichi winced. 'Yuki…'

"Stay away from me, brat" Yuki warned. "I hate you." He started to turn around. "Leave, now." Shuichi frowned, tears forming in his eyes. 'Yuki hates me' he thought. 'He hates me… Yuki truly hates me…' He found himself walking out the door, after his mind repeated the scenes a few times.

'I'm sorry Yuki!' Shuichi cried. 'I'm so sorry!' He took a deep breath that not even he could hear. All he could hear was Yuki's words. 'I hurt you! I ruined your life! I should just die! That's what I deserve! Then, you can live your life again… I won't interfere again… I promise…' And Shuichi started to cry again.

Suddenly, the nightmare stopped. Then, another one started immediately. This one was the one Shuichi hated most. He had many reasons for his opinion.

Shuichi read the headline of a newspaper. It read: 'Eiri Yuki, found dead in his apartment'. Shuichi practically choked. He continued reading, hoping that he was just seeing things. But he wasn't. There it was again, the headline. Shuichi rubbed his eyes. He continued reading anxiously.

"Yuki Eiri was found bleeding to death in his apartment" it read. "Apparently, he stabbed himself because SHUICHI SHINDOU ruined his life. He caused Yuki Eiri to commit suicide. He is a horrible person."

"Shuichi Shindou is a " one fan-girl claimed. "Yuki didn't deserve such a fate.Shuichi's such a ! He should die, and Yuki should live!" Then the girl started crying and was unable to continue speaking clearly.

"We hate Shuichi Shindou!" a crowd chanted. "We hate Shuichi Shindou! He killed Yuki Eiri! HE killed Yuki Eiri!" Shuichi froze. "If he just left Yuki alone, he'd still be alive right now!"

Shuichi soaked the newspaper with his tears. He looked around and realized that he was in Yuki's apartment. He gulped.

There was Yuki, on the floor, covered in blood from head to toe. A knife was beside him, caked with his own blood. He was extremely pale and made no movements. Shuichi rushed to his side, trembling with fear.

Shuichi's eyes widened in horror. He started to cry again, choking from the tears. He looked at his X-Lover and made a horrified look.

'I'm sorry Yuki!' Shuichi cried. 'Please, don't die! You can't die!' Shuichi checked for a pulse. There was none. Shuichi started crying harder. 'Yuki! Yuki! Yuki! No, Yuki!' Yuki's blood began to stain Shuichi's clothes. They were now dark red, the color of blood, Yuki's blood.

Shuichi broke down in tears. He soaked Yuki's clothes with his tears. He cried for what seemed like hours. Then, the blood wrote something on the floor. Shuichi sniffed and looked at the floor. The words were written in Yuki's blood. They read, 'You did this. You killed me, Shuichi Shindou. You did it. You killed me…' Shuichi gasped.

'Please, make it stop!' he cried out. 'Make it stop!' He covered his ears, but still heard the blood's words. 'You did it. You killed me… You killed me… Shuichi Shindou…' Shuichi started shaking. He looked at Yuki's dead body once more. Then, he looked at the knife…and smiled.

When he tried to reach it, he froze. He couldn't move at all. 'No!' Shuichi thought. 'Please! Let me end it! Please!' But his body still wouldn't move. He tried desperately to move even an inch. He couldn't reach his death, even though he wanted to. 'Why me? Please! Let me die! I killed Yuki! I have to do this!'

Still, Shuichi couldn't move. He could barely think straight. He couldn't even cry to release his sorrow. Everything stopped moving, except for the blood coat on Yuki. It dripped down to the floor and spread until the whole floor was drenched with his blood. Shuichi couldn't bear to look at Yuki, but he found that Yuki was right in front of him, still bleeding. He couldn't look away, thanks to his paralyzed body. So, he had to watch his lover's dead, bleeding body…. Yuki's words repeated over and over again in his head.

Meanwhile, Yuki looked up quickly and wiped his eyes. He glanced at the visitor. It was Hiro. He gasped when he saw Shuichi. He rushed right to the bedside. He stared at Shuichi and frowned. Then, he turned towards Yuki….

"What did you do to him?" he demanded. "What. Did. You. Do?" He punched Yuki in the face with fury. Yuki made no effort to move away or fight back.

"I…" he began to say. "I had to go to Kyoto… I left a note but….I…" He paused and gave Hiro a heart shattering apologetic smile. "I must've not put it in an obvious place where Shuichi could find it… So, he thought I left him again…."

"Darn you!" Hiro yelled. "You're such a !" Yuki hung his head sadly.

"I know. I know…" he said. Hiro looked at Yuki's eyes. There were red and puffy. 'Was he actually crying?' Hiro thought. Yuki's hair was messy and dirty looking. He was shaking with fear. 'Man, he looks horrible…'

Hiro decided to shut up. Yuki, meanwhile, remembered when he had his cell phone in his pocket… 'I could've called him' Yuki thought. 'I could've stopped this from happening. But no, I decided to be a selfish ...'

After a few minutes of watching Shuichi in silence, Hiro turned around and headed out the door. "Call me if he wakes up, okay?" Hiro said. Yuki nodded hesitantly.

"Aren't you gonna stay here?" Yuki questioned. "I mean, and watch Shuichi?" Hiro shook his head.

"I think you need to see him before I do, alone" Hiro explained. "And besides, with me here with you, you won't be able to cry. You can't let anyone see you care, can you?" Yuki was about to protest, but Hiro was already long gone. Yuki sighed and ran his fingers through his hair nervously for a few minutes.

"Yuki…" Shuichi breathed. Yuki looked at Shuichi with interest. Shuichi stirred in his sleep. Yuki froze and hoped for the best. "Yuki…?"

"Shuichi, I'm right here" Yuki cooed. He grabbed Shuichi's hand tightly. "I won't leave you, I promise."

"Ngh…" Shuichi groaned. His eyes flittered open. He took a deep breath. Yuki gasped.

"Shuichi?" he asked softly. He watched Shuichi look around with fear. Shuichi gasped once his eyes laid on Yuki.

"Yuki!" he cried hoarsely. He tried to sit up, but he realized that he had a headache and felt dizzy. He clutched his head with a groan.

"Shuichi, you're awake!" Yuki cried. He HUGGED Shuichi. Shuichi gasped again. His pain drifted away slowly.

"Yuki…" he breathed. He immediately started crying on Yuki's chest, soaking Yuki's new shirt. Yuki didn't seem to mind though. He smiled, and wiped his tears away. "You're alive…" He cried harder, if that was even possible. Yuki let Shuichi cry for at least five minutes straight.

"Why would I be dead?" Yuki questioned. He rubbed Shuichi's hair, waiting for a response. He was so happy that Shuichi was awake. He would've danced, but we all know he can't do that in front of ANYONE.

"Well, I just saw you….dead" Shuichi whispered. "There was blood everywhere… And you weren't breathing. And I was so scared. And t-there was a knife. I wanted to kill myself because you were dead… But I couldn't move! And I had to watch you bleed, Yuki!" He started crying again. "You were gone and it was my entire fault…"

"That was just a nightmare" Yuki assured Shuichi quietly. He was frightened that Shuichi was willing to kill himself if Yuki died. "What gave you that idea in the first place?" Yuki was now very interested in what Shuichi was saying, even though it made no sense.

"Well, you hate me now…" he murmured. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He shuddered with sadness. He was happy to see Shuichi, but he was sad because he thought Yuki hated him.

"I don't hate you" Yuki said. He looked at Shuichi with disbelief. Shuichi just stared at Yuki. "If I hated you, why would I be here in the hospital in your room?"

"Hospital?" Shuichi asked. Yuki nodded. "So, you don't hate me, right?" Yuki nodded. "Then, why did you go back to New York?" Shuichi was bewildered.

"New York?" Yuki questioned. "I didn't go to New York. I went to Kyoto."

"What?" Shuichi yelped. His eyes shot open. "B-b-but Tohma said that you went to New York, and that he found a blood stain in your apartment! He said you got sick again!"

"Tohma?" Yuki hissed. He growled. "He told you that I went to New York again?" Shuichi nodded.

"And I thought that you were sick and dying" Shuichi said softly, clutching Yuki tighter. "I was all alone, and I had to punish myself…" He wiped his eyes. He was overjoyed that Yuki didn't hate him. All of his fears weren't true. They were just nightmares, like Yuki said. Yuki…

"By starving and cutting yourself?" Yuki questioned. Shuichi nodded slowly and frowned. Yuki didn't sound pleased. Shuichi didn't like to make Yuki sad or angry.

"I'd do anything for you, Yuki" Shuichi reminded Yuki. "I thought of all the things that could've happened to you… I couldn't just sit there and stuff my face while you were out there. Maybe you got hit by a car, or bled to death or…"

"Stop" Yuki interrupted. Shuichi became silent and listened carefully. "I was fine. I was filling in for Tatsuha at the temple. I left you a note on the kitchen table. Didn't you see it?"

"There was no note" Shuichi said. He yawned silently. "I checked there, but there was nothing…" Yuki growled and rubbed Shuichi's back softly. "I'm so glad you're alive, Yuki… If you want, I can leave for good; I'll get out of your hair…like the note said…" Yuki remembered the note and frowned.

"No, you're not leaving me" Yuki said. Shuichi smiled.

"Good, 'cause I didn't want to" Shuichi whispered. He smirked.

"Don't even do something like that again" Yuki commanded. Shuichi nodded. "You had me worried."

"Really?" Shuichi asked. Yuki nodded. "Oh Yuki… I love you…" Shuichi smiled and drifted into sleep. He looked so tired, and hungry and scared. It made Yuki angry, very angry.

"Tohma, you will pay for doing this to Shuichi" Yuki hissed. "I'll make sure of that." He looked at his pained lover and frowned. Shuichi looked so fragile. Yuki could only imagine how he felt when he arrived home after the talk with Tohma.

'He must've been terrified' Yuki thought sadly. 'He probably got worried about me. He even made me a flower. He thought I truly hated him… How can anyone hate Shuichi? Well, besides that , Tohma… And he had nightmares about me dying? I never knew I was that important. He cut himself, didn't eat, didn't drink and didn't sleep because I wasn't there? Because he thought I left again?' Yuki shuddered. 'I must've really screwed him up when I left the first time… Man, I'm such a jerk…'

Yuki felt a bit better than it wasn't his fault that Shuichi was like this. He remembered that he let Tohma lock up for him… 'That must've been when he found the note, hid it and went back to NG' Yuki thought. 'Then, he talked to Shuichi, already having a plan to get rid of him… That ! He must've thought that Shuichi would run away…'

Yuki clenched his right hand into a fist. He gazed at his sleeping koi and smiled. 'I'm glad he's okay' Yuki thought. 'But Tohma, he'll pay dearly for this! NO ONE hurts MY Shuichi and gets away with it!' And with that, Yuki let Shuichi sleep on his chest. It felt good to have Shuichi back in his arms again.

A/N: Did you guys like it? It's the longest chapter so far! YAY! What will Yuki do to Tohma. What will Tohma's reaction be? You'll find out in the next chapter. Read and review please! If you haven't reviewed a few other chapters before this, please review them seperately so I feel like I have more reviews, k? Thnx! Especially you, reviewers! D