Disclaimer: This is a non-commercial work of fanfiction. Any recognizable characters from Newsies belong to Disney and not to me.
A/N: So, this past weekend Ariel_of_Narnia (Ariyah) convinced me to watch The Greatest Showman, and since I have Newsies in the back of my mind most of the time, this ridiculousness resulted. (Thanks for poking me to write this, Ariel; this is for you! :)).
For context (on the off chance that anyone else is reading this), the subject of this parody is Jack and Davey's back and forth at the circulation gate (when Jack attempts to get Davey to join the cause of the strike and Davey puts up a halfhearted protest) set to the song "The Other Side."
Going On Strike (A parody of "The Other Side" from The Greatest Showman)
.
[JACK]
Right here, right now
I'm gonna call you out.
We haf'ta take a stand;
I know you see it.
You strike with me,
We'll set the newsies free
From old Joe's treachery and penny-pinching!
Forget that schoolboy look; let's go less by-the-book.
I know it's crazy, but hey, who isn't crazy?
You can play it sensible, skip being intentional,
Or you can risk it all and see...
.
Don't you wanna get away from the new kid part you have to play?
'Cause you got what we need, so tell us 'bout this striking deal -
We've got a pape price to appeal!
'Cause if you walk away now,
Nothing is gonna change.
We'll all get stomped on, exploited and disarranged.
But instead if you step in with me,
We'll take a stand The World will see!
.
[DAVEY]
Okay, my friend, you want to drag me in.
Well, I've got news for you: it just won't happen.
(Les, come - let's go,
He's someone we don't know;
Our folks are counting on us to assist them).
[To JACK] I don't care much for you, or that spit-shake you do.
You're up to something, clearly it's something,
But we're nothing alike, and I don't have the time to strike.
I'll have to leave that up to you...
.
Don't you know that I'm okay with this smart kid part I get to play?
You don't know (and it shows) what it'll mean to take a hike;
(I) don't need to join you in your strike!
So go and throw your papes down.
I'll find a job or two
And pay the rent when my family's bills come due.
Can't you see the pressure's gonna spike
If you protest and go on strike?
.
[JACK]
Now if your pa was union, would this be your fate?
Hawking these headlines, a job that you hate?
.
[DAVEY]
If I get mixed up with you, my parents won't get to eat.
We'll all be evicted and thrown to the street!
.
[JACK]
But say we beat Hearst and Pulitzer, keep our jobs secure,
We'll change the game for the working class poor:
All of those kids with bodies aching,
Tired, worn out, nearly breaking -
Now that's a risk that seems worth taking...
But I guess I'll leave that up to you.
.
[DAVEY]
Well it's intriguing, but to strike we need a union.
Unless we're organized, we'll only come to ruin.
.
[JACK]
Fair enough; we'll get official for the action:
"We're a union now!" - I said it, so it happened.
.
[DAVEY]
There's still a lot you're missing - like members for one thing!
.
[JACK (pointing to Newsies)]
You sayin' that all these bummers don't amount to anything?
.
[DAVEY]
Officers?
.
[CRUTCHIE]
Jack for Prez!
.
[DAVEY]
Statement?
.
[JACK]
Other pants.
.
[DAVEY]
...fine.
.
[BOTH (to NEWSIES)]
Don't you wanna seize the day with this picket power that's in play?
'Cause we got what we need, so newsies, let's go take a hike;
Starting right now, we're all on strike!
.
[JACK]
So, Joe, go do like you do,
I'm gonna do like me:
Walk out, fight back, then break in with the cleaner's keys,
All 'cause you ain't gonna share alike -
We newsies have to go on strike!
So you go do like you do,
(We're going on strike!)
I'm gonna do like me,
(Starting right now we're all on strike!)
'Cause you walked over us and now we're all on strike,
Starting right now we're all on strike!