Chapter 9: The Line Between Love and Hate

July 1999

Ashley sold her house and moved back to West Newbury. Doctors said that there was nothing wrong with our mother, that she was just deeply depressed and that if she didn't start taking care of herself properly she would die too. I think that is what she wanted so then she would be with dad again. Much to my dismay Ashley and John had been spending a lot of time together. Honestly I thought that my sister could do so much better than John but hey it wasn't my life. I was home for 2 weeks helping out with mom. Ashley was getting frustrated with her.

"It's like taking care of a god damn baby" Ashley said.

"She's sick Ash" I replied.

"It's her own fault that she is like this" Ashley said.

"Don't you see that Ma you have 4 kids who need you" Ashley yelled.

"Leave her alone" I ordered.

"No, huh Ma are you really that selfish… fine you know what go ahead and die" Ashley continued to yell.

"I said stop it" I shoved Ashley a little.

We both laughed about it later but at the time it was like we were little kids again. Our mother had been sitting in a chair watching us blankly. But it was almost as if seeing us fighting flipped a switch in her brain.

"ADRIAN ELIZABETH! ASHLEY MICHELLE, STOP THAT RIGHT NOW" she yelled.

We both stopped and looked at her.

" What the hell is the matter with you two?" she asked "both of you are 22 years old try acting like it"

"She's back" Ashley said in a sing song voice.

"Now both of you get out of my sight" she said.

"Who would have thought our fighting would make her snap out of her misery" I said.

"She always loved yelling at us as kids so it really doesn't surprise me" Ashley replied.

"Hello ladies" John said.

"Hi" I replied coolly.

"Hey Johnny" Ashley said.

"What are you guys so happy about?" he asked.

"Mom decided to join the living again" Ashley answered.

"That's good" he said.

"Yes it is" Ashley said.

"Addie do you think I could talk to you in private?" John asked.

"Umm ok" I said.

"I'll just go make sure mom… well I'll just go check on her" Ashley said.

"What do you want Cena?" I asked.

"You always were a person who like to get right to the point" John said.

"Just get on with it" I said.

"I want to ask Ashley out and since you are the older sister I wanted to get your ok first" he said.

"Why?" I asked.

"I know you don't like me" he said "but I honestly care for your sister and it would be uncomfortable for Ashley if you weren't ok with us dating again"

"You broke her heart once before how can I trust you?" I asked.

"I was 16 years old I didn't know what I wanted" he replied.

"Go ahead ask her out but I swear Cena, if you ever hurt her again I will make you pay in ways you don't even want to imagine"

"I have no doubt in that" John said

"I'm serious Cena you break my little sister's heart I'll break you"

John did ask my sister out and they generally seemed happy. John moved to California to pursue a career in body building, he took Ashley with her. Ashley was almost 24 now and she wanted some stability in her life… you know marriage and kids. John on the other hand was a loose cannon. His good looks and great body got him noticed quickly. His career was just beginning, he'd come home from bars at 3 in the morning completely drunk. Ashley never said a word about it because she was too in love with him to see his flaws. John needed to decide what was more important, his career or Ashley, and decide he did…