Here it is! The sequel:

Disclaimer: I do not, shall not, and will not ever own any scrap of anything that I borrow from the genius that is known as J.K. Rowling.

Warning: There are Mary-sues in this, but it is a part of the plot and it is bashed. So...stay if you wish. (says in a singsong voice) It's pretty funny.

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The Insane World of Harry Potter

…The sequel

Ah, I see you have returned. Wanted to hear a good story again, eh? Well, you've come to the right place.

We begin, on a dark night, with an equally dark purpose….

"Mom!" Yelled an attractive fifteen year old girl. "Where's my new shirt!" She yelled as she dug brutally through her tiny closet. The girl's name was…Shmooglepoo. You thought it was me, didn't you? Well it isn't. I come in later.

Shmooglepoo, the midget, lived in Munchkinland. Yes, I know, we all hate Munchkinland, but that is where the story begins. So shut up.

Ahem, as I was saying: Shmooglepoo was looking ferociously through her closet for her favorite new shirt.

Everyone said that it made her look much thinner. And she needed that; she was getting a little plump. It was all because of that adorable munchkin that was courting her; he always had some chocolate treats to give her.

It was quite odd, how she met him. And he wasn't like all of the other munchkins, he was much more obnoxious. He was quite the immature one, but that was what she liked. She was somewhat manipulative, and the weaker the mind, all the easier to get her way.

"Mom! That shirt!" She yelled up the stairs. All she got was a mumbled, "Huh?" Her mother wasn't the brightest lily in the valley.

A knock sounded at the door. She squealed in delight. She had completely forgotten about her date with…Merry. (Evil laugh)

She opened the door and immediately hugged the stuffing out of poor Merry.

"Well…It looks like you're happy to see me." He said as she released him from her vise-like grip.

She blushed and giggled.

Merry inwardly cringed. He hated giggling.

"So, where are we going?" She asked as she wrapped her shawl around her shoulders and shut the door behind her.

He smiled obnoxiously. "You'll see."

In another world-

"Cheese, cheese, cheese! Everybody's gotta love cheese! Gets your noodle goin'!" Sang another fifteen year old, but this one was completely different from Shmooglepoo. Other than her name, origin, and terrible fashion sense, that is. This girl was…ME! MWUAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAA!

"Stacey, shut up." Chided my beautiful older sister. She is insane as well, but will only admit it upon certain circumstances. (Dr. Evil pose)

"Neighba!" I yell as I punch my fist into the air as a sign of rebellion.

She rolls her eyes.

I roll my eyes.

The spoon rolls its eyes.

Little kid- But there is no spoon.

Me- I know that.

Little kid- There is no Stacey.

My bones bend.

Me- Ow.

Little kid- Teheheehee! Nya nya nya! Tehehe whowa whoywa ha!

Me- …

Little kid- …

Spoon- …

Me- Ahem, as it were:

My sister, Kathryn, starts to incessantly poke me. (no really, she is) She's not stopping- oh wait. There, she stopped. Ahem. Moving on.

Rubs sore arm. "That hurt!" I say as I slap her.

"I didn't do anything!"

"Yes you did!"

"Did not!"

"Did so!"

"I've been sitting here, how could I have poked you if it wasn't written?"

"But it was!"

"That was in the real world stupid."

"…."

"Haha!"

"…uh…well….Nu uh!" The virtual me sticks her tongue out.

"…"

"…"

"There is no spoon."

"Hiya Bradley!" Stacey says as she waves her hand frantically in her friends face.

"So, wazzup Bradley?" Kathryn says.

"I wouldn't say that." The Kathryn in my mind says.

"Yes you would." The me in my mind says.

"Coooool. There's a me in my mind!" Says the virtual me.

"There's a me in everyone's mind." The virtual Bradley says.

"I'm bored, and all of these different me's and who's and whatzit's are confusing me." Says the virtual Kathryn.

Everyone stares at her.

"What?"

The virtual me nods, "She's right."

"Of course I'm right."

"I'm always right. And that is something that I would say." The Kathryn in my mind says.

"I'm glad I'm getting it right, now can I please get on with the story?" The me in my mind asks.

The virtual Kathryn, and the Kathryn in my mind nod.

"Good."

"now….for a plot…" The me in my mind finishes.

"Hmmm…." The real me starts to think.

Everyone waits.

The spoon waits.

Bradley taps her foot.

The virtual Kathryn picks at some gum under the table.

"Ewwww! I wouldn't do that!" the Kathryn in my mind says.

"Yes you would."

"No, I totally wouldn't. You suck." The Kathryn in my mind says as she throws an endless amount of popcorn at me.

"Aaaaahhhhhhhh!" I scream as I run for cover that miraculously appears.

Everyone starts to throw popcorn at me, and rocks, and pineapples, and grapes, and herring. Soon an angry mob forms and starts to poke me with sharp and pointy sticks.

"Ok ok! Mercy! Mercy! Uncle! Oww! My bones! My cornea! OUCH!"

Everyone gasps!

They all point!

"You said a bad word! We're taking you to the wizard!"

Ahem, skipping to the story. You all don't want to know the long and perilous journey that I had to take, so I'll just get to the good part.

"Stacey, where were you?" Bradley asked as a bedraggled me comes crawling up the road.

"I…I-I…sigh You don't wanna know." I say as clean clothes materialize on me.

Everyone suddenly appears due to a plot hole.

They scratch their heads.

"How did that happen?"

We all shrug.

The people that are now there are: Bradley (who was already there), Kathryn, Me (of course), Isabel, Jenny, Jennifer, Kimmie, Morgan, and sir-not-appearing-in-this-story.

Real me, "Stop poking me real Kathryn!"

Real Kathryn, "Is Kimmie Kim Possible?"

Kimmie, "I could be." (swirls a cape that comes out of nowhere.)

Real me, "No, she's not. You shall soon see who she is. MWUAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!"

Kimmie joins evil laugh, then realizes that she wouldn't do that, under most circumstances.

"Who was that…uh…Shmooglepoo….at the beginning of the story?" Asks Isabel, "Cause she ain't takin' my man. A huh. (z-formation snap)"

"I wouldn't say that." Says the real Isabel. "You suck." Throws popcorn at me.

"JUST STOP IT AND GET ON WITH THE BLOODY STORY!" Yells Merry.

We all stare at him, Isabel glomps him.

I blink.

"What happened to Shmooglepoo?" I ask.

"Oh, she was murdered by decapitation and her body dragged throughout all of Munchkinland because of her ugly name when you were off to see the wizard, at the beginning of this story." He answers.

"Ah. I see." I say.

…………………………………………………………………………….doo de doo…………………………………………..I like cheese ………………………………………………………………………. …………………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………doo dee doo deedoo………………………I like cheese ………………………………………………………………………

…………………………………………………………………………………... …………………………………… ……………………………………………...

"What was that?" Jennifer asks.

"My mind." I answer.

She stares at me.

I stare back, and take a bite from an apple.

She spots the apple tree and hugs it. "I love trees." She says as she continues to hug the tree, then starts talking to it.

Everyone moves away a safe distance.

"I didn't know you could talk to trees." Says Maureen, who just appeared….magically…

Everyone stares at me.

"Hey, it could happen." I say as I finish my apple.

"Hey! How come I haven't said anything yet!" Says Jenny who was looking at her giant pile of Zuko pictures, and Gohan pictures, and Syrus pictures.

"Yeah! I'm hardly mentioned at all!" says Maureen.

"Yeah!" Choruses everyone (Kathryn, Jenny, Isabel who is still glomping Merry, Merry, Jennifer who is still hugging the tree, Kimmie, Bradley, and sir not-appearing-in-this-story)

"At least you actually said something." Shouts Morgan impatiently.

I stare at her, and point up to what she just said, "Doesn't that count?"

"No!"

"What...w-w-what are you doing! No! Stop! Stop...NOOO! Mmph!" I say as I struggle from inside the potato sack.

Everyone laughs wickedly.

"Now what do we do?" Asks Jenny who gives me a kick for good measure, thinking of what Zuko would do.

Morgan laughed.

The Morgan in my mind- "I wouldn't-"

Everyone- "We know."

Everyone either:

shuffled their feet,

snapped their fingers,

cleaned under their nails,

fought over who got to glomp Merry (Kimmie and Isabel),

just sat there,

and other nervous habits. Until...I arrived.

Everyone looked frantically around them, who was talking?

I laugh good naturedly.

"You cannot see me."

They all just stare at one another, hoping that one of them would know what is going on.

No one does.

So I tell them.

"I am the Narrator."

They cheer.

The story can be told now.

They look around expectantly.

Nothing happens.

Five minutes pass.

Jennifer sits in the grass that appears at her feet.

Isabel lets go of Merry and wonders what will happen.

Kimmie takes this opportunity to glomp Merry.

Maureen wonders if she will ever find a way to make chocolate magically appear.

Jenny wonders how she can capture Zuko, Gohan, and Syrus.

Kathryn wonders if she should chew the gum that she found under the table.

Morgan wonders what it would be like to glomp Rupert Grint.

Everyone- "STOP READING OUR THOUGHTS!"

Narrator- "Alright, alright."

Ten minutes pass.

Everyone and a huge mass of random knights- "GET ON WITH IT!"

"Bossy, bossy." Says the narrator, "I don't even have a book or script to go by."

"Here you go." I say as I hand him the script.

"How did you get out of the potato sack?" Everyone, and the mass of random knights ask.

"It's not important, just read the story." I say as I sit on the white nothing that everyone is standing in and on and about.

Everyone blinks.

I blink.

The narrator blinks.

The white nothing blinks.

"Enough of this!" says the plot, and everyone falls through the floor.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

End Chapter 1. Are you scared? Would you like a lolipop?

Snape: No, I wouldn't like a lolipop.

Me: I wasn't asking you.

Snape: Then who were you asking?

Me: (points) Them.

Snape: Who?

Me: (sigh) Why do you not like lolipops?

Snape: I'm allergic.

Me: Really? (evil smirk)

Snape: What are you doing?

Me: (licks the lolipop so it's sticky and slaps it on his hand, it swells)

Snape: Look what you did! You're such a freak.

Me: tehe. Reviews are like lolipops!