"Dib! Dib…talk to me. What's wrong with you?" Zim shook the writhing human but received no answer except the feeling of Dib's fingers fisting in the Irken's shirt. What to do, what to do. Desperate, he looked around for anything that might ease whatever was ailing his supposed enemy. Nothing he saw in the paranormal investigator's room inspired him. Maybe his pak then. Spider legs, his life lines, communicator, irken pain killers for those days he got picked on…Zim smacked himself in the forehead. Those might work, but the Dib worm was human; who knew what alien medicine would do to him? He debated with himself internally for what seemed like forever; Dib growing worse by the second. A pathetic whimper broke Zim's concentration and made him decide to damn caution to hell. A syringe popped out of his pak and he guided it to the human boy's neck. With a quick motion he slid the needle into a vein and injected a softly glowing purple liquid into Dib's bloodstream. Several minutes passed before they noticeably took effect and the boy's thrashing quieted. Still conscious, Dib opened his eyes when he was hauled up by the surprisingly strong Zim. With the Irken's aid, he managed to make it down the stairs and into the living room where the oblivious Gaz sat; playing the latest in whatever series she was on now. He tried to call out to his sister for possible aid but only received a disgruntled and violent threat about what would happen to him should he interrupt her again.
When they got outside, Dib still leaning heavily on Zim, the irken looked around. Now what? He needed to get the human to his base, but waiting for Gir to arrive with the cruiser would take too long. He looked over at the semi-conscious Dib.
"Hey, Dib-human. You got a car or something around here?" Dib smiled before replying.
"Nope. I'll I've got is," he paused for a second, trying to think. "My baby. All I have is my baby." Zim squinted, confused.
"You have a baby? What does that have to do with a car?"
Dib cracked a smile again. "Not a child, you stupid alien, my motorcycle…my baby." He pushed a button on the wall of the garage which caused the door to open. Next to the broken remains of Tak's ship (which, for some odd reason, he was still emotionally attached to) was a midnight blue Ninja, with black and silver tribal detailing. Zim's mouth dropped open and he damn near dropped Dib too. It had to be the prettiest piece of machinery he had ever seen. Aesthetics was one thing Irkens lacked when it came to vehicles. He left Dib leaning on the garage door opening and went to check it out. Gloved hands slid over the smooth metal; an involuntary sigh of joy escaped him. He snapped out of his marveling when he heard Dib's pained laugh from where the boy still leaned against the structure. Embarrassed, Zim ignored him and pushed the bike out into the driveway. From there he helped the human onto the back. Just in case the medication wore off, the ex-invader sat in front of him and inverted his spider legs to wrap around the boy. He shuddered when Dib leaned in close and wrapped his arms around Zim's waist.
"You do know how to drive one of these, right? I can trust you to not damage her?"
The alien nodded, having taken it upon himself to figure out human transportation. (Not that he learned well, because that's just the way Zim is but…at least he had a vague idea.) Dib yawned. "Then I think I'm going to pass out now." And he did, burying his face into the Irken's back like a little kid. Zim shook his head. Humans. He turned the ignition and revved the engine, pulling out of the driveway like a bat outta hell. Reckless as always, he sped up to 140mph and whipped around the other vehicles on the road; running about 10 stoplights on the way. He sped through the streets, the sleeping human pressed tightly against his back. The alien could feel Dib's head resting on his shoulder around the Pak. A car's horn blared and Zim barely missed a head on collision. There! His base! He swerved into the lawn and came to a screeching halt inches from crashing into the stoop. Close call.
Zim jumped when the nearest gnome (about a foot away) fired at the bike and its riders. What the…He smacked his forehead; they were programmed to attack Dib no questions asked. They needed to get inside quick; the other gnomes were taking aim. Zim retracted his spider legs that were wrapped around the terran then quickly jumped off to catch him when he slumped over. However, the abrupt motion made the bike topple over onto the pointy hat of the closest gnome. He heard a screech followed by the explosion of said gnome. The other robotic menaces halted in firing and returned to their inactive states. Zim blinked then just stared. That was…odd. Stupid wiring must be getting faulty. Either that or Gir spilled soda on something again. He shrugged, set Dib on the ground and picked up the bike, setting its kickstand. The irken surveyed the damage caused by landing on the explodey gnome. Besides the soot scorch marks, which he managed to wipe off, there was only a tiny dent that was barely visible. Well so much for not hurting Dib's "Baby". He hoped the human wouldn't notice. Hey, speaking of "kick"stands…Zim nudged the still form of Dib with his foot. There was no way the one and only ZIM was going to haul some pathetically stupid human all the way down to the medical bay. No matter how cute (and good kisser) he was.
Dib woke up to a foot in the ribs. He immediately checked himself out mentally. Besides the obvious stinging in the ribcage, he found no major pain anywhere else. He felt clearer too, not quite so feverish. No medication he knew of could do all that. He gaped at the looming Zim.
"You look like a fish, Dib."
He closed his mouth. "What the hell did you give me Zim? I feel…better." He grabbed the offered hand and was hoisted up by a slightly sheepish alien.
"Pain killers." He wouldn't meet Dib's eyes. Who knew how the boy would react to being told some glowing alien goo was running through his veins? Luckily the human didn't press him and together they walked into the hideous green house. Zim watched as Dib moved towards the service elevator in the closet.
"Where are you going?"
Dib spun around. "To your base. Duh." Zim scoffed at him.
"Pfft…if you were supplies you might take that entrance, but I can't imagine why. I'm surprised you didn't get lost or killed getting in from that direction. This way is quicker." He grabbed Dib's wrist and pulled him into the kitchen then shoved him onto the deluxe toilet (had to get a new one when he grew taller) and flushed him. A mad giggle escaped him then when he saw the human's expression.
Several minutes later in the bases medical center a rather heated argument broke out on whether or not Zim was allowed to operate on Dib should the opportunity arise.
"Absolutely not! I don't trust you! I could wake up with a third arm, or...or...wings or something! I'm still debating on whether not I even want you to run a freaking diagnostic scan on me!"
Zim ground his teeth (though the wing idea intrigued him). "I've done it before you stupid human! Nothing BAD happened to you then, did it!" He lunged at Dib and pinned him to the floor; his gloved claws digging into the still shirtless boy's skin. He straddled the boy's chest and leaned over so their faces were mere centimeters apart.
"There is OBVIOUSLY something wrong with you Dib." He dug his claws in deeper, drawing a gasp from the human. Zim briefly kissed him. "I intend to figure out WHAT it is and FIX it even if I have to knock you up to get to that point."
Dib stared and then lost it. He twisted under Zim laughing hard. The irken poked him. "What is so amusing worm baby? You don't think I'll do it?"
Dib's response was to laugh harder. "I…don't think," he gasped for air, "you CAN, Zim."
The alien poked harder. "Why not?"
The human managed to calm down enough to explain. "You can't 'knock me up' as you so eloquently put it." More giggling laughter. "You can 'knock me out' but you can't 'knock me up'. I'm a guy. You're a guy." At the alien's still slightly confused expression he elaborated further. "Oh come on, Zim. You took sex Ed with me. Tell me you paid attention at least one day. If one of us was a girl we might have come close to that earlier." A mischievous grin lit up his face. "But if you were to truly knock me up, you'd have to operate on me-"
Dib broke off and stared into space as memory of his day returned to the fullest extent. All of it ran before his eyes. Coming home, going to the labs, his dad…no. His father, his DAD, couldn't have really…
"My dad...Zim, he…"
Zim peered at him, the human's eyes held a far away look.
"He what?"
Dib snapped back to reality extremely pale and sick looking.
"He…experimented on me." Zim had to lean closer in order for him to hear the broken whisper. "I remember now. I woke up on an operating table with him putting something in my head. Like a chip or something. I think that's what caused the attack earlier. You win Zim. You gotta get it out." The alien stared at him, not answering as he digested the information. The lack of response caused a frightened Dib to twist his hands into the fabric of the irkens shirt. "Please. I can feel another attack coming." As if to prove his point, a jab of pain lanced through his head. The irken finally nodded, the pleading look in Dib's eyes hurt him for some strange reason. He moved off the human and helped him to his feet. The boy started to walk on his own but was driven to his knees as the final wall of medication gave way and the proverbial dam broke, washing him in immense pain. He fell to the floor and was once again pinned by Zim's body. He grabbed the alien's arms tightly, needing an outlet, any outlet, for some of the pain.
Briefly Zim questioned the short lifetime of the painkillers, but thrust that thought to the back of his mind as he tried to calm the suddenly convulsing and writhing human. With one hand always on Dib's chest, he used his teeth to tear his gloves off so he could run his naturally cooler skin over the human's feverish forehead and through his hair. If Dib didn't survive this, he was going to make sure that Professor Membrane didn't either. Wait, correct that. Even if Dib did survive Membrane was still going to burn.
The terran continued to thrash despite Zim's attempts. It calmed slightly when he tried to focus on the smooth irken that was spilling out of the alien's mouth and he later would vaguely remember exchanging a few words. When his vision cleared for a few precious seconds, the expression on Zim's face surprised him. He looked like he was ready to tear someone limb from limb. The moment passed however and all thoughts he had disappeared.
Zim battled with Dib's convulsions and tried to inject him with the glowing analgesic but it was knocked from his hand and went skittering across the floor. He ground his teeth, frustrated as his concentration broke. A spider leg slid out and he maneuvered it so it slid the syringe back to him. Making sure he had a tight grip on it this time, he ruthlessly crushed Dib's arms to his chest to prevent another such accident. The boy's head still moved too quickly for him to get a clear shot in so he embedded two spider legs into the ground on either side, narrowly missing impaling the human he was trying to save. With torso movement ceased, Zim buried the needle in Dib's neck, upping the dosage from before and praying to whatever god might look out for the boy, that he would stay quiet long enough for Zim to fix him. He smiled tightly when the drugs took affect and Dib slipped into unconsciousness. Now…to get started.
Membrane punched a hole through one of the monitors. That stupid boy actually figured out what happened to him. Not only that, but he was becoming very frustrated with the lack of visuals every time that boy closed his eyes. It was complete loss of input when he was unconscious. On that note, goddamn that imbecilic…whatever he was! How dare he HELP the boy. Yes. That little green freak would have to be disposed of. Professor Membrane smiled darkly. It wouldn't do him any good to get so angry. That boy would soon be dead anyways. Simply a shame more data couldn't be collected. He leaned back and watched the other monitors awaiting the signal's comeback…that is, if it ever did.
…If Zim didn't fail…