Chapter seven: new discoveries

November entered in a flurry of cold rain and stormy clouds. But the storms outside were nothing compared to the storm that was raging inside a certain dark haired Gryffindor.

It is now one week since Halloween and Remus's confession. Sirius had been busy since then. The Marauders had quite a time with congratulating Remus on his first hangover. Also James had challenge Sirius to a game of 'Snape-cursing'. They each had to curse Snape through out the week and in the end whoever got him the best without getting in trouble would win. (Sirius had won when he charmed Snape's hair to move and growl on its own accord. Strange thing is that he didn't even seem to notice.)

But now it was back to the same old same old and it left Sirius plenty of time to think. And the melancholy of the school day found Sirius thinking mostly about Remus's confession. He almost physical cringed whenever someone mentioned the Halloween party.

"Sirius? Earth to Sirius..." Remus called to his friend who had spaced out again for the millionth time.

"Wha? Hmm? "Sirius said as his eyes refocused. He looked up into Remus's and his stomach gave a strange flutter.

What was that about? He thought confused.

"You ok?" Remus asked concern in his eyes. Sirius pulled his gaze from them and looked at his eyebrows.

"Yeah just… a little tired ya know." He said giving a fake yawn. Remus nodded but he wasn't fooled and Sirius knew it.

Ah, dear friend I cannot tell you what is wrong for I know not myself…where the hell did that come from?

Remus seemed to take Sirius's answer anyway. Figuring that he would tell him what was going on in his own good time. . That was one of the greatest things about Remus. He knew when to push and when to wait.

While Remus turned back to his work Sirius drifted back into his thoughts. He had been thinking about what Remus had said the other night.

What am I going to do? Remus is in love…with me! I can't tell James…its too personal…what do I do? I don't want our friendship to be ruined…but I don't know what I can do…I need help…who can help though? Who can I tell…groan there's only one person who can help gulp…Lily.

"Hey Remus, do you know where Lily is?" Sirius asked the other boy. Remus looked up his amber eyes full of suspicion but he didn't question his friend. "She's in the library with James," he said. Sirius jumped up and ran out of the common room without a word.

Remus looked after him, shrugged then went back to his essay.

"James! We are here to study not to snog," Lily lectured her boyfriend.

"Aw can't we do both?" He pouted. Lily rolled her eyes but couldn't help but to laugh. He was just so adorable.

"No," she said without much conviction. James gave a wicked grin. He knew he was breaking down her defenses. Just as it seemed he was about to succeed they were interrupted by a rather frantic Sirius.

"Lily! I need to talk to you," Sirius said panting. He had run all the way from the Gryffindor tower to the library.

"Ok…what do you need?" she asked a little wary of the raven-haired boy. Sirius's eyes flickered to James then back to Lily.

"In…uh…private," He said giving her a pleading look.

"Hey, no way, mate. Whatever you have to say to my girlfriend you can say to me." James said a little angrily. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Let's go Sirius. James, study." She got up and placed a kiss on her boyfriend's lips to stop his protest.

She followed Sirius out off the library and into the empty corridor.

"Ok…what do you need?" she asked again. Sirius looked at her. He didn't know how to start. He felt nervous and fidgety.

"Well…uh…Ok you see I recently found out a secret about one of my friends and I don't know what to do..." he started. Lily looked at him and blinked.

"You found out that Remus is in love with you," she said bluntly. Sirius's jaw dropped.

"How-how do you know?" he asked.

"Remus told me a while ago." Lily said off-handily.

"And you didn't tell me?" he accused.

"It wasn't my secret to tell ,Sirius." She said throwing him off guard.

"Oh. Well the thing is-"

"That you don't know how to act around him now..." she finished for him.

"Ok this is getting eerie..." Sirius said backing way from the girl. Lily rolled her eyes.

"It's to be expected, Sirius." She said annoyed. "So here's my advice to you; get over it."

"What?"

"Get. Over. It." She said again enunciating every syllable. "I mean Remus had been in love with you for a long time and has he ever acted weird or anything around you right?" she asked but didn't give him the chance to answer, "no he hasn't. I mean come on, you haven't even noticed, and probably still wouldn't know if he didn't tell you. so if you don't feel that way about him then just get over it and move on." With that she turned and left Sirius deep in thought.

Sirius thought about what Lily said on his way back to Gryffindor tower. He went straight through the common room ignoring the calls of friends including Remus and went up to his dorm.

Ok. I've discovered two things today. He thought flinging himself on to his bed. One, James is mental. Completely off his rocker. Two, Lily scares me. Truly terrifies me.

Sirius shook his head and groaned. He was no closer to an answer. He couldn't just get over it. It wasn't that easy.

Why not? A voice asked. But Sirius didn't know. He didn't know why he couldn't just let it go. But he did know one thing and that was that he was not going to mention it again.

"Hey Remus," Lily Evans called to the other prefect.

"Hey Lily, ready to go?" Remus asked and the two prefects headed off down the hall for their patrolling duties.

"So Remus how was your Halloween." Lily asked after a while of silence. Remus turned bright red.

"Oh…uh…y'know," he mumbled.

"Yes I do know," she said a little coldly, but she melted when she saw the look on Remus's face. "Why did you do it? Its not like you to get drunk like that." she asked.

"Oh Lily I don't know." He said throwing his hands in the air. "Ok I do know. It's Sirius. I just can't take it anymore. Every time I see him I just want to snog him senseless. That night I saw him snogging with some girl and I guess my judgment just…I dunno, left?" he offered lamely.

"Oh Remus," she said sympathetically "why don't you just tell him?" Remus glared at her.

"You know I can't do that Lily. He's my friend. My very 'popular -with –the- ladies ' friend and besides werewolves mate for life and I don't think Sirius could handle that. No, its better this way,"

"Oh, oh it's better to be miserable? Better to put on a happy face for him when really your dieing inside?" she said angrily. She hated that Remus thought he had to be so noble. That he didn't think he deserved to have what he wanted.

"That's being a little overdramatic don't you think? Anyway my futures decided for me, once I leave Hogwarts I will register as a werewolf with the ministry and get a nice little shack somewhere in the mountains were I can transform and not hurt anyone," he said trying to keep it light but she could hear the bitterness in his voice.

"I know due to your lycanthropy that your future isn't as bright as it should be. But that doesn't mean you have to be alone. I mean what if Sirius loved you to? You could have a future with him if you just took a chance," she near shouted at him. Yes, she knew that by the way Sirius had acted the other day he was in fact, not in love with Remus, but this was about Remus's self-esteem and knowing he deserves to find love.

"No Lily. Sirius has a chance for a real future. One where he is a famous Quidditch player with James and finds the love of his life gets married and lives happily ever after. I can live without as long as I know he's happy. That's all I want." He said quietly.

"You must really be in love with him," Lily said smiling sadly at her friend.

The pair continued heading off down the hall. They had gotten so wrapped up in their conversation that they hadn't noticed the small rat that went scurrying past them.